A Hope for Hannah (Hannah's Heart 2)

by Jerry S. Eicher

  “Elizabeth told me he might,” Hannah replied.

  “Oh, she did?” Jake sounded surprised. “Did she say why?”

  “No, not for sure.” Hannah looked at Jake. “I hope they aren’t leaving.”

  “Like Sylvia and Ben?”

  “Yes,” Hannah said.

  “No, it’s something else,”

  “Why are we going?” Hannah asked. “Why doesn’t John go himself?”

  “He thinks this might work better.”

  “Why do you have to do this kind of work so soon?” Hannah asked.

  “Bishop wants it.”

  “I know why,” Hannah said. “Elizabeth told me.”

  Jake looked at her. “What did she say?”

  “Bishop likes you now and thinks you might do Will and Rebecca good. He’s changed his mind about you, I guess. People like your preaching, and so you are being put to work.”

  “Maybe that’s what we’re here for,” Jake said, turning his eyes back to the road ahead. “It’s the work of the church. I didn’t choose it.”

  “But you enjoy it.”

  “Maybe,” he allowed. “It makes it easier that way.”

  “It’s not easier for me,” she said with a catch in her voice.

  She looked at Jake, expecting his new preacher look, the one he had worn earlier in the day. She thought he might even say things about duty and how she needed to learn to be a good minister’s wife. But instead he brought his arm around her and pulled her close.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I wish it wasn’t so hard.”

  That brought a sob she couldn’t hold back.

  “You’re a wonderful wife,” Jake said.

  “I lost your child,” she said between sobs.

  “No,” he said. “Heaven gained him. God allows only what works for the best.”

  “It’s still too awful,” she said, her head on his shoulder.

  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts,” Jake said.

  Hannah looked out at the Cabinet Mountains towering in the sky. As the wind pushed against the trees on the slopes, the sound of Jake’s voice and the words he chose soothed her spirit.

  Thirty-five

  Jake insisted they visit Will and Rebecca that evening, even when Hannah suggested they might be at the hymn sing.

  “Hardly,” Jake said. “Besides, this is important.”

  “So what is going on?” Hannah asked once they were on the way. “What aren’t you telling me about this?”

  “Did you know Will wasn’t originally Amish?” Jake asked.

  “No,” Hannah said. “I never heard that, but I didn’t grow up around here. He seems Amish—his brother too.”

  Jake slapped the reins as Mosey hesitated. “Their parents came from the Baptists and later joined a Mennonite church or a version of it in Bonners Ferry. That was when Will and his brother were young. Will, though, wanted something even more conservative than that. His brother followed his lead, and so they both joined the Amish.”

  Hannah waited.

  “Now it seems Will thinks it was all a mistake and wants to go back.”

  “To the Mennonites?” Hannah asked.

  “No—to the Baptists.”

  “The Baptists?” Hannah gasped. “And what about Rebecca? Does she want to go back too?”

  “No, I don’t think so. And that’s part of the problem.”

  “They have two children.”

  “That’s even more of a problem.”

  “Jake, this is too big for you.”

  “That’s what I said,” Jake offered, “but I’m just doing what I was told to do.”

  “Oh, my,” was all Hannah could think to say.

  They drove in silence, each lost in thought. Hannah was thinking of Rebecca, remembering the faces of her two children, and wondering at the choice that must now be heavy on her heart.

  “It’s so terrible,” she said, finally breaking the silence. “We are so young. This is just too much.”

  “I know,” Jake said, his voice strained.

  “What are you going to tell them, Jake? What can you tell them? What if you say the wrong thing? Rebecca could lose her husband. You know that, Jake. I know she doesn’t want to leave. I know Rebecca. Mennonite, maybe—but never Baptist.” She grabbed Jake’s arm. “Jake, we have to go back! Bishop must go himself. He really must. You have to tell him. You can’t do this. It’s too dangerous, Jake. It really is.”

  “We can’t go back,” Jake said simply. “The way may be hard, but I have to do this. It wasn’t for me to decide.”

  “What about me?” she asked, looking at Jake desperately.

  “You’re stronger than you think,” he said gently. “Much stronger. We can both do this.”

  “Can we?” she asked doubtfully, though Jake’s confidence touched her. “You really think so?”

  “I know so,” Jake said, his voice low. “You’re my wife.”

  Hannah looked skeptically at him. She then took a deep breath and calmed herself. “You’re going to need a lot of wisdom.”

  “God will give me the wisdom I need,” Jake said.

  As Jake pulled the buggy into the driveway of Will and Rebecca’s home, Hannah caught sight of their two children disappearing into the house. Jake stopped Mosey at the hitching post, climbed down from the buggy, and tied the reins to the post.

  “The children,” Hannah said to no one in particular. “What will happen to them?”

  Jake led the way to the house. The place seemed wrapped in stillness, perhaps expressing the sorrow the occupants must be feeling.

  Jake knocked gently and then stepped back from the door to wait. For a long moment, Hannah believed no one would open the door. We are being ignored on purpose, she thought, rejected before our errand has even begun. Surely Bishop would understand if Jake failed for this reason. No one could fault Jake if he at least tried.

  But then Will opened the door rather abruptly in front of them. At least he was smiling, Hannah noticed. A little sad around the edges, but it was a smile.

  “Good afternoon,” Jake said. “Is it okay if we come in?”

  “I guess,” Will said, opening the door wider.

  Hannah went in first, and Jake followed, taking off his hat and winter coat.

  “You can put those on the chair.” Will said, pointing to the kitchen. “Rebecca will be right out. She’s in the bedroom.”

  The two children—a boy, the older, and a girl, only three or so—squirmed on the couch. Hannah went over to sit beside them and said softly, “Hi.”

  Andrew only smiled and ducked his head, but Edith said “Hi” very quietly, her lips barely moving.

  “Oh, you surprised me.” Rebecca’s voice came from the bedroom door. “I’m still in my work clothing.”

  “That’s perfectly okay,” Jake said from where he sat. “We don’t want to disturb your evening.”

  “I’m so glad to see you,” Rebecca said, offering to shake hands with Hannah and then Jake. Hannah was certain she saw tears forming in Rebecca’s eyes.

  Will brought two chairs from the kitchen. He set one down and indicated it was for Rebecca. He took the other.

  Rebecca sat down slowly. “I’m so sorry we couldn’t be in church today. I missed it so.”

  Will nodded soberly.

  “There will be other times,” Jake said.

  Hannah noticed that Jake looked comfortable enough and was glad for that.

  “I hope so,” Rebecca said, and the tears came freely now.

  Will looked embarrassed and glanced at the children, who were still sitting beside Hannah.

  “I’m sorry,” Rebecca choked. “Maybe the children can play upstairs.”

  “Do you want to?” Will asked them, now on his feet. “Upstairs in the bedroom with your toys?”

  “We want to go outside,
” Andrew said.

  Will seemed uncertain as he glanced out the living room window at the gathering darkness.

  “It’s okay,” Rebecca said. “We can call them in when it gets too dark.”

  “Go, then,” Will said, watching as Andrew and Edith scampered for the front door. “But put on your coats first.”

  “You have such nice children,” Hannah whispered.

  “They have a good father,” Rebecca said, and again tears sprang to her eyes.

  “I suppose you have come to talk?” Will asked as the front door closed. “John sent you?”

  Jake nodded.

  “Are we being excommunicated?” Rebecca asked with alarm.

  “Surely not—” Will said, “at least not yet.”

  Rebecca looked unconvinced.

  “You are not being excommunicated,” Jake said firmly. “We are interested in helping. That’s all.”

  “You know what the problem is?” Will glanced sharply at Jake.

  “You want to return to the Baptists,” Jake said.

  “Amish don’t approve of that,” Will said.

  Jake nodded.

  “You’d excommunicate me, then,” Will stated flatly.

  “Don’t say that,” Rebecca said, alarm again in her voice. “That’s terrible. To even think it is terrible.”

  “You would, wouldn’t you?” Will didn’t plan to drop the subject.

  Jake pondered the point and finally said, “I suppose the church would. I’m not the bishop though.”

  “That’s what I thought,” Will said with satisfaction in his voice. “Do you think it’s right to do that just for joining the Baptists—the church I came from?”

  “Your parents were Baptists,” Rebecca said through her tears. “You’re Amish now. We’re Amish. Don’t even think such things. Please.”

  “You don’t have to go back,” Jake said. “I always thought you were happy here.”

  “I thought so too,” Will grunted, squirming on his chair. “Maybe my brother and I overreacted, though. That’s what bothers me now. Sure, my parents saw things they knew to be wrong—problems with the Baptists. I just went too far the other way. Now I’m seeing that the Baptists don’t have a monopoly on problems.”

  “There are problems everywhere,” Jake agreed, “even with the Amish.”

  Hannah caught her breath. Surely that was the wrong thing to say if he wanted Will to stay Amish.

  Will, though, seemed to like the answer.

  “See,” Rebecca said, “it wouldn’t be any better among the Baptists. Besides, I’m not going Baptist. I just can’t.”

  With a glance toward Rebecca, Will asked Jake, “You think Rebecca ought to submit to me? Isn’t that what the Amish believe—where the husband goes, the wife goes?”

  There was silence in the room. Jake cleared his throat. “I’m just a young fellow. How would I know the answer to that?”

  Hannah almost sighed out loud, so great was her relief at Jake’s answer.

  “You do know the answer, though,” Will said, “and I’d like to hear it.”

  “I don’t think she should,” Jake said just like that, the suddenness of it jarring the room.

  “That’s a mouthful,” Will laughed. “You think John will back that up? Maybe it’s just because you want Rebecca to stay Amish.”

  “No, I don’t think so,” Jake said firmly. “I’d say so regardless. The answer would be the same coming the other way. If one of the couple objects, the move shouldn’t be made. You decide these things together—as a couple.”

  “Even if the couple was English and one wanted to join the Amish and the other didn’t? You’d risk losing that one member who wanted to join?” Will asked, his eyes intense.

  “Yes,” Jake said firmly. “That’s what I would say. I think it’s Amish policy, although I don’t know for sure.”

  “So what about the church’s teaching about submission?” Will pressed.

  “Submission is a woman pleasing her husband. It’s not a woman changing her honestly held beliefs,” Jake said. “If the woman has to change who she is, then it’s not submission. It’s a perversion of submission. God never asks for that.”

  “Then what am I supposed to do?” Will asked. “I don’t want to be Amish.”

  “I’d tell you to love your wife,” Jake said, “and your children. That’s probably as good a work as you’ll do being a Baptist.”

  “And I can do it being Baptist,” Will said.

  “You can do it better being Amish,” Jake replied.

  Will thought about this for a moment. “I’d have to think on that some. I’m not sure that’s so.” Then after a moment, he added, “I guess my brother was right.”

  “Right?” Jake asked. “About what?”

  “He stopped by before you came,” Rebecca said weakly.

  “He said you can really preach. Said you preached really well today,” Will said.

  “You shouldn’t say things like that,” Jake said.

  “No, I suppose not,” Will allowed. “Well, Jake, I’ll need to think on this for a while. Some of what you say makes sense. But I can’t say one way or another just now.” Then he turned to Rebecca and said, “Don’t look so white, dear.” He gently rubbed her shoulder.

  “I can’t help it,” Rebecca replied, the tears still flowing.

  “You’ve had supper already?” Will asked.

  Both Jake and Hannah shook their heads.

  “Then you’re staying,” Will pronounced. “We haven’t eaten either.”

  “I don’t have anything,” Rebecca gasped. She wiped the tears from her face with her hand. “I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

  “I’ll help you,” Hannah spoke up, willing to help in any way she could.

  “See,” Will said, “you’ll think of something.”

  Rebecca hesitated but then got up. The two women left to go to the kitchen.

  “I’ll see what the children are doing,” Will said, getting up and moving toward the door.

  “I’ll come along,” Jake said, joining Will.

  At the front door, Will called sharply, “Andrew! Edith!” Soon little feet pattered across the porch.

  “Time to come inside,” Will said.

  “We were tired anyway,” a little voice replied.

  “Then come in here. Play in the living room,” Will said as he ushered the two inside. They crept past the kitchen doorway with Jake and Will behind them.

  “They are so dear,” Hannah said again.

  “I heard you lost yours,” Rebecca said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

  Hannah couldn’t find her voice at the moment.

  “Maybe God will bless you again,” Rebecca offered, “like you are blessing others.”

  How she was blessing others, Hannah couldn’t imagine, but she nodded anyway.

  With the two working together, they soon had the soup and salad prepared. Rebecca remembered half a cream pie in the refrigerator, and the two families settled in for supper.

  The evening passed quickly enough. Even with the chatter of their voices, the house still seemed quiet, although peaceful now.

  “I hope we did some good,” Hannah said on the way home.

  “I hope so too,” Jake agreed. “Bishop will probably want to talk to them himself, though.”

  “It would be terrible if they left,” Hannah said. “Rebecca so doesn’t want to go.”

  “I know,” Jake said in his preacher voice, and Hannah was surprised it didn’t bother her. She leaned against his shoulder as a yawn overcame her. How she could be so relaxed after this day was a mystery, like a lot of other things in her life right now.

  Thirty-six

  With the intense activity on Sunday, Hannah nearly forgot the young people’s gathering at Betty’s. On Thursday morning she mentioned it to Jake, and he had no objections. In fact a little grin spread over his face. “It makes me feel young to be invited to a youth gathering,” he said. “It’s been a while.”

&nbs
p; “It sure seems to be lifting your spirits some. You’ve been so sober-faced lately. You know you shouldn’t think about church troubles all the time.”

  “No,” he agreed, “I shouldn’t. But I do wish I could talk to John before Sunday.”

  Not wanting to be involved in a weekday visit with the bishop, Hannah thought quickly. “Betty’s going to pick me up after lunch. She suggested you drop by on the way home. Instead, why not swing past the bishop’s house? You’d have plenty of time before the gathering starts.”

  “Yes, I could do that,” Jake said, “and I’d still be there early.”

  Jake left for work, and Hannah spent the morning cleaning the cabin.

  After lunch Betty picked her up, and the two women spent the afternoon preparing for the evening ahead. They finished just before the first of the youth arrived. By seven thirty the gathering was in full swing, buggies parked all over the yard and horses packed tightly in the barn. These were not all the same youth Hannah knew from a few years ago, but Hannah easily lost herself in the spirit of the night, as if she were young again. It was as if time had rolled away. For that evening, she no longer was a mother who had lost her baby, a preacher’s wife, or even a woman with a cabin to keep.

  With a jolt she suddenly realized Jake hadn’t arrived. “I wonder why Jake’s still not here yet,” she whispered to Betty.

  “I can’t imagine,” her aunt said. “You don’t think something happened to him? Wasn’t he stopping at the bishop’s home?”

  The two women made their way to the kitchen to check on the cider heating on the stove.

  “Yes.”

  “That could take some time.”

  “This much?”

  Betty smirked. “Church things? Of course.”

  Hannah could only nod in agreement. It could well be church things. She had learned that already.

  “I’m going outside for a minute,” Hannah said as she went to get her coat.

  Betty nodded in sympathy and went back to the living room to be with the young people.

  Hannah stepped out the kitchen door where the chilly night air enveloped her immediately. Overhead a brilliant swath of stars stretched almost from horizon to horizon, slightly offset to the south. Over her shoulder, just above the ridge of the house, the moon hung with one bright star to its upper right.