Summer Solstice

by Vanessa Lockley

  Which brings us to the bar and the checking for texts every five seconds.

  Sarah, from the moment that I'd picked her up, had seemed preoccupied, but happy nonetheless. Knowing my best friend, I figured she'd spill whatever was on her mind when she was ready. So instead, we both ordered a drink and sat in peaceful silence with our thoughts still heavily sitting upon us.

  Like some lovesick teenager, my thoughts immediately turned to Seth and I shoved my phone in my pocket almost violently so that I wouldn't be tempted to check it again.

  Why hadn't he texted or called?

  When he'd dropped me off at my house the night before, he'd been the same old Seth he'd always been, but more affectionate. He'd held my hand all the way home and kissed me goodbye before I'd gotten out of his car.

  I know that people say that sex can complicate things, but when he'd left, things had honestly seemed to be okay. He'd even sent me a few messages before he'd gone to bed and I'd passed out.

  I'd avoided calling or sending messages all day so that I wouldn't appear to be some clingy girl. I may have given the boy my virginity, but I knew that it wasn't a marriage proposal. What Seth and I had was far beyond any relationship that I'd ever had, but I wasn't about to blur the lines of sanity in order to start building a dream life with the boy.

  Lost in my thoughts, I traced a heart in the condensation of the glass that still held half a cold beer and sighed again. I knew my feelings for Seth were way beyond friendship and moving into that terrifying love area, but I also knew going into this relationship that I needed to keep a clear head.

  Seth was my brother's best friend. Hell. He was my friend.

  Our relationship was so full of gray matter that it was difficult to navigate.

  Which is why his not calling was really starting to get to me.

  Sure, he didn't owe me anything, but the least he could do after practically spending the night with me, would be to give me a call and make sure I hadn't died during the day.

  "Lex?" Sarah asked quietly. "Lex, are you okay?"

  Bumped out of my thoughts, I jolted and looked away from my beer glass and towards her. "Huh?" I asked, wiping the heart off my glass as her question sunk in. "Oh. Oh yeah," I muttered. "I'm fine."

  Sarah didn't looked convinced, but I knew that she wasn't going to press the issue.

  "Look," she started, her face beginning to show signs of nervousness. "I really need to talk to you"

  But then I became an absolutely shit friend to Sarah. Because behind her, across the crowded bar, who should happen to show his face, but my brother's best friend.

  Seth stepped up to the bar and ordered his drink.

  I watched him in what had to be an absolutely stalkerish way. Maybe he'd come to the bar knowing that I'd be here. Maybe he'd get his drink and come talk to me.

  Hating myself for being so pathetic, I yanked my attention away from Seth and back to Sarah who'd begun to bite at her lip nervously. "I'd been meaning to tell you, but the time just never felt right and I wanted to do it in person and not over the phone."

  But my attention was snagged again, as I saw the bartender set not one, but two beers down in front of Seth.

  What was he doing?

  The answer suddenly appeared next to him, as a super anorexically thin red-head slid up next to him, all but wrapping her limbs around his body. I watched as Seth gave her a grin and then handed her a beer.

  My stomach sank to my toes as I watched them, feeling like a shit friend to Sarah for not listening and a pathetic girl as my heart began to break before my very eyes.

  I wanted to listen to Sarah, I really did, but just watching Seth with that girl was impossible to stop.

  "Lexi?" Sarah asked, turning around to look at whatever it was that had stolen my attention away from her entirely.

  My brain was working at about five thousand miles an hour. Maybe it wasn't what I thought. Maybe he was just being nice and buying her a drink. Maybe she was his cousin. Maybe it wasn't really Seth. Maybe he hadn't seen me.

  But when Seth lifted his head away from leaning in close to talk to the red head, his eyes met mine across the bar. His fingers traced up her arm softly and he pulled his eyes away from me and whispered something into that girl's ear.

  And that one look forced my brain to stop creating such pathetic excuses for Seth.

  Because I knew what he was up to.

  And I knew that he was fully aware of what he was doing with that girl.

  Sarah must have seen something play across my face, because she stood up abruptly, which pulled my attention away from the car crash happening across the bar. Grabbing my arm, she pulled me out of my seat. "Come on," she said, as she started dragging me towards the door. I looked back once at Seth.

  He looked at me for a brief second, his face displaying no emotions, and promptly turned his attention back to the redhead.

  I don't know how I made it out to Sarah's car. By that point, my brain had shut off and I was operating on autopilot. My simple life had become an emotional train wreck.

  The next thing I knew, we were parked in front of my house. The ride home had been quiet, but as Sarah turned off her car, she turned to look at me.

  "How long have you been sleeping with him?" she asked me.

  I didn't even try to act like I didn't know what she was talking about. I knew how obvious I had been at the bar. Plus, Sarah was my best friend. I'd kept this secret from her long enough.

  "How much time do you have?" I asked her, and then promptly began to tell her the entire story. From my horribly lengthy crush (which she'd already known about), to that first day at home, to the previous night's extracurricular activity.

  And when I got done, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. Part of me had been terrified that Sarah was going to be angry that I hadn't told her what had happened.

  But instead of chastising me for not telling her, she simply gave me a hug and listened. She also offered to go back to the bar and cut his nuts off.

  "What am I going to do?" I asked her, one soft tear trailing down my face. "I'm not saying I was in love with him, but I wasn't far from it."

  Sarah looked at me and gave me a sad smile. "You're going to go inside and cry," she said honestly, "and then tomorrow night you're going to get even."

  After I climbed out of her car and went inside, I started Phase One of that plan. A pint of ice cream and some British TV comedies kept me company until I fell asleep.

  Needless to say, Seth never came to my window that night.

  seven.

  I always thought that when people said that sex complicated things that they were just being overdramatic. They were really just trying to brag about their sexual conquests.

  But after the whole Seth debacle, I totally knew what they meant.

  The next morning, I woke up late. Instead of being depressed like I had been the night before, however, I was now livid. Who the hell did Seth think he was? Some kind of barroom Casanova? And furthermore, picking a girl up in a bar? Gross.

  I went grocery and errand shopping with my mom for a few hours and when Sarah called, asking if I felt up to going to a club to dance, I didn't even hesitate. Normally I hate clubs. They're full of horny guys trying to grind on any breathing object within five feet of them. I was looking to get good and drunk, however. Seth could fuck me over, that was fine. Technically we weren't together. I could do what I wanted.

  And getting shitfaced and dancing with my girls sounded pretty damn good.

  My friend Cassie acted as DD that night and picked me up a little before ten. Things were just starting to get packed for a Saturday night at the club and the liquor began to flow.

  "I told you that you'd have a good time!" Sarah screamed over the music as we stood at the bar after ordering what had to have been our fifth round in an hour.

  "Friends, booze, music, what more could a girl ask for?" I yelled back, taking a sip of my Long Island Iced Tea.

  "Do
n't you think you should slow down, though?" she asked, a worried look crossing her face. "I know I told you to get even, but that didn't include you getting alcohol poisoning."

  I shook my head as I set my empty glass on the bar. "I'm fine. I'm just relaxing."

  Sarah shot me another worried look, but I turned away from her and looked at the dance floor. "So how do I go about getting even?" I asked Sarah, turning my attention back to her. "I mean, Seth's not even here."

  "Don't worry about that." When I turned to look at her, she had trouble written all over her face.

  "What does that mean?" I deadpanned as my heart fell to my feet. What did she have planned? Sarah merely shook her head and turned to survey the crowd. "Look, before you get too wasted, I have to."

  But she never got to finish her statement as the rest of our friends met us at the bar, pointing and laughing at the various guys they'd been dancing with on the floor. The scene was typical for a club. Guys who were dressed to look casual, but not too casual. Their appearance only managed to prove that they'd spent just as much time getting ready as half the girls. The club scene was really just like a car dealership. Lots of guys looking at various models that they so clearly desired and wanted so desperately to get inside of and take out for a test drive.

  We were watching some guy that Cassie had danced with trying to keep rhythm with the constant thump of the music, when Sarah nudged my side and pointed at the door.

  "What the fuck is he doing here?" I asked, looking at her, but knowing full well she was responsible for his presence.

  "Getting even," was all she said.

  I shook my head, but had to laugh as my plan began to form. "He doesn't even know what he started," I told her, pulling away from my group of friends and immersing myself into the crowd.

  The whole club scene may not have been a place that I'd ever consider to be 'me', but for the time being, it would do to hatch a revenge plan. Walking onto the dance floor, I began to hunt for my prey. If Seth could find some skank at a bar to take home, the least I could do was grind against some stranger in a club. Which is why, when I got to the middle of the floor, I just grabbed some random dude. I didn't even really look at him before pulling him towards me and letting the music take over.

  I was so intent on this plan that I hadn't fully thought it out. How was Seth even going to see me in such a huge crowd? But thankfully, my best friend was on the same page that I was, because as I turned around to look at the bar and grind my backside into said stranger, I saw Sarah standing with Seth.

  And she was pointing right at me.

  A surge of revenge flowing through my veins, I turned back around to face the guy I was dancing with and really got into it. I pushed my hips into his. I tried not to vomit when his hands landed pretty much anywhere they pleased on my body. I pretended to be having a great time.

  And wouldn't you know it, it actually worked. When I turned back around, Seth was still standing with Sarah, but instead of looking around for me, his eyes were glued to my form.

  And he looked anything but happy.

  Grabbing my partner's hands, I placed them on my hips, drawing his body much closer to mine as to leave very little to the imagination. I shot Seth a heated look.

  To which he responded, by walking away from Sarah and right into the crowd towards me. I spun around quickly to face my dance partner.

  "Thanks for the dance," I called over the music, "but I'm going to take five and go to the bathroom."

  He simply shrugged and began to dance with two girls next to me. Shaking my head, I rushed off towards the bathroom, trying to put as much distance between myself and a very pissed off Seth.

  I made it into the women's restroom and was about to lock myself in a stall, when a tall body pushed me against the wall and slammed the door closed.

  I didn't even need to guess as to who it was.

  "This is the women's restroom," I said to Seth as I tried to sidestep him and leave.

  But he wasn't having it. Grabbing my upper arms, he held me against the wall, his huge body invading mine.

  "Let me go," I said forcefully, pushing against his hold.

  But his grip only tightened.

  "What the hell are you doing?" I asked Seth. Looking up into his face, I saw how rigid he was standing there. His jaw was clenched and he shook his head slowly.

  Lowering his head so that we were face to face, Seth growled, "What the hell were YOU doing?"

  I tried pushing against his grip again, but this time, instead of tightening his hold, he simply got closer to me, pushing his body flush against mine so that I couldn't move without feeling every inch of him.

  "I was dancing," I said forcefully.

  "You were practically fucking that guy on the dance floor."

  Seth's crude words hit me hard. "Excuse me?" I asked incredulously. "Are you serious? You were all over that girl in the bar last night."

  "That's entirely different."

  I let out a harsh laugh. "How?! How is that different?!"

  "I wasn't dry humping her in front of you."

  Un-fucking-believable. "So it's okay for you to be all over some girl at a bar, but I can't go out dancing with my friends?" I asked, standing up for myself.

  Seth took his hands off my arms, but still held me against the wall with his body. Grasping my face softly in his hands, he brought his face closer to mine. "You're mine," he said forcefully, his lips millimeters away from mine.

  "Oh if that's not some hypocritical bullshit right there!" I exclaimed, twisting my face away from his. "So some random girl can get your rocks off, but the only person that I'm allowed to screw around with is you?"

  He let out a harsh laugh. Seth opened his mouth to fling back what I could only assume was some more of his lame excuses, when the door to the girl's restroom opened.

  "Lexi?" I heard Sarah call. "Are you in here?"

  Thanking my best friend silently for the distraction, I pushed Seth's body away from mine forcefully. "Yeah. I'm here," I called back, shooting him a rough glare.

  "Are you okay?"

  Opening the door to the bathroom stall, I left Seth behind and joined my best friend by the door to the bathroom. "I'm fine," I told her, turning to give Seth one last gland. "But I think I'd like to leave now. I've had all the fun that I can handle for one night."

  eight.

  I climbed into bed that night, fully alert. After the incident at the club, I knew that war had officially been declared. Judging from the look in Seth's eyes as I left him in the bathroom, this battle had only just begun. Wrapping myself up in a sheet, I sat there and stared at the window.

  Because I had no doubt in my mind that he was going to climb through it to prove some asinine point.

  This whole thing had started with a few heated moments. I knew that Seth would storm through my window in some blaze of glory so that he could grab the upper hand.

  And right on cue, Seth climbed through my window and promptly stood in front of me.

  "I wish I could say that you surprised me," I deadpanned, crossing my arms across my chest. "But that'd be a lie."

  Seth simply shook his head, the intensity in his eyes still as strong as it was at the club. Seth was still pissed and dammit if the look didn't work for him.

  Stalking towards me, he invaded my personal space. I'd expected the move, however, and I wasn't backing down. Instead of shying away from him, I tried to look uninterested.

  "You made me really unhappy tonight, Lex," Seth said, his voice gravelly. He sat on my bed and leaned in close. "I can't believe you let that guy put his hands all over you."

  I laughed at how stupid he was. "And you thought that draping yourself all over some girl at a bar in front of me was okay? You thought that sleeping with me suddenly gave you the right to sleep with every other girl you encounter?"

  Seth leaned in close until he was nearly touching me. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

  Turning his move around on him, I leaned
in further. "Yeah, fucking, right," I said slowly.

  And before I could pull away, Seth's hand landed on the back of my neck and he was kissing me. Heavily. And hotly. And dammit if I didn't kiss him right back.

  I mean, let's face it. I care a lot about Seth. Hell, before we'd started playing these games with one another, I probably would have admitted that I loved him. But after the past few days? How could I even begin to shape everything that so that it would encompass how I felt? In a few short days, I'd gone from the highest high to the lowest low all because of one person.