For the Love of Suzanne

by Hudecek-Ashwill, Kristi

  He stayed out of sight, although he was sure he’d been spotted by one of the lookouts who were posted somewhere. Tall Deer was a believer in security and the village was guarded at all times. He circled the camp as Suzanne still slept, debating whether to leave her. He knew what would happen to her at the hands of Tall Deer. He didn’t want to see her brutalized or hurt in any way and he knew she would be eventually if she were to become Tall Deer’s slave. He knew he should just take her back to where she came from, to that shell of a machine that had nearly killed her, but he moved toward the village very slowly. He’d helped Angelica escape, essentially stealing her even if he hadn’t kept her for himself. He reminded himself that this was a matter of honor.

  “Suzanne,” he gently roused her.

  She sat up. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she said quickly.

  He brushed off the apology. “I have something to tell you,” he said quietly with obvious reluctance.

  She looked at him over her shoulder.

  “I have to give you to Chief Tall Deer—“

  “Why?” she interrupted in a squeaky voice, interrupting him, perilously close to tears again.

  “It’s a matter of honor. But I think I should tell you again not to cross this man,” he said seriously. “You do everything he tells you to do with no questions or hesitation. You do whatever he wants and do not make him wait. He is not a patient man.”

  “What kinds of things will he ask me to do?” she asked uncertainly.

  “Cook and clean mostly.”

  “He won’t expect me to do, um…” she gestured awkwardly, averting her eyes with embarrassment.

  He knew what she meant. “If he does, do it. He will hurt you if you don’t.”

  A wave of intense fear passed through her. “Can’t I stay with you?” she asked pleadingly.

  He shook his head. “It isn’t possible,” he said regretfully. “I’m sorry.”

  “Can’t you take me back to where you found me?”

  He could see her grasping at straws. She was terrified and was nearing desperation. “There’s nothing there,” he reasoned. “Whatever that thing was, burned.”

  She knew nobody would ever look for her. She would never be missed. Beau had been gone for a month and after their families left, she hadn’t seen anyone since, other than at work. Phone calls were just as rare.

  She looked into his dark eyes. “Don’t do this to me,” she begged. “Please, don’t. I will be your slave and do everything you tell me to and even have sex with you if that’s what you want. Please don’t give me to another man. I’ll do whatever you want.”

  He felt bad and was so tempted. But there was the debt. “I’m an Indian agent. I travel a lot. I can’t be around to look out for a woman,” he said gently. “I’m sorry, but this is the way it is going to be. Make the best of it.”

  She nodded somberly. “I’m scared,” she wept.

  “I know you are,” he said with compassion and ran his hand over her soft blond hair with some affection. “But if you do everything you’re supposed to do, you’ll be fine.”

  “I don’t want to have sex with him. I can’t.”

  “You will if he tells you to,” he said with soft sternness. “If you want to survive this, you’ll do everything he says.”

  “I can’t go around doing stuff like that,” she exclaimed. “I’m going to have a baby!”

  He felt his mouth drop open with surprise. “You are with child?”

  She nodded with a heavy sniff. “Don’t make me do this,” she begged. “I don’t think I can take it.”

  This certainly put a new light on the subject. Had he known this before, he never would have brought her here. He didn’t know what he would have done, but Chief Tall Deer would never even have entered his mind.

  “Take me back to where you found me,” she implored, gazing into his eyes. “Don’t make me do this. Please.”

  He returned her gaze, knowing she was right. Everything she was saying was right. He tossed the idea around in his head for a few moments as his heart was slowly growing tight with her tears. She was so soft and beautiful and he knew Tall Deer was going to be cruel to her, but there was nothing left of that whatever-it-was that had burned. “I can’t take you back,” he finally said definitively.

  “Why? I’ll do anything you want. I will,” she vowed. “But please take me back,” she pleaded. “I’ll die out here.”

  He knew he couldn’t take her back. There was no way. Not now. There was nothing to take her back to. Her best chance of survival was with other people.

  Suzanne didn’t ask any more questions nor did she beg. All she could see was the village disappearing as he steered the horse in another direction.

  Chapter 9

  A long while later, Suzanne watched an organized gathering of buildings come into view that was surrounded by a very large wooden fence with a gate. She wanted to ask what it was, but as they got closer, she could see men dressed in old-time blue cavalry uniforms standing in watch towers with guns and figured this must be the fort.

  Cody stopped the horse. “We have to have a story to tell these people,” he said thoughtfully.

  She looked at him with some confusion. “Why?”

  He returned her steady gaze. “Who is going to believe this?”

  She nodded. “Good point.”

  “We will tell them that I found you lost in the desert and that your husband is still out there.”

  “But he isn’t.”

  “They don’t know that. I’ll take you to Annalee. She’ll take care of you,” he said confidently and started the horse toward the fort again, wishing he had something else for her to wear. Her lack of clothing was indecent, at the very least.

  As they approached the gates, they swung open and Cody rode right through. They immediately drew stares, but surprisingly, nobody asked any questions. Cody didn’t stop until they got to the saloon.

  He got off the horse, and guided her down, holding her around her waist. He followed her inside the whitewashed building, opening the door for her.

  “Cody!” a brunette woman called excitedly from across the room and ran to him with her arms open.

  Suzanne moved out of the way as the heavyset woman, dressed in a gaudy red dress with black plumes on the bodice, threw herself into his arms. Her hair was piled on top of her head and adorned with a silver tiara of rhinestones and a feather that matched her dress. She wore black fishnet stockings and high heels with bows on the toes and looked like she’d stepped off the silver screen.

  “Hello, Annalee,” he said with a smile, returning her hug.

  “Oh, my goodness, it’s been so long,” she said jovially with a smile, patting his cheek affectionately.

  He continued to smile. “It has.”

  “You’re just as handsome as ever,” she said with appreciation. “Let me buy you a drink,” she said, pulling him toward the long wooden bar, purposely ignoring Suzanne.

  He stopped her. “Not now, thanks. I need to talk to you,” he said in a soft voice so only she could hear.

  “Sure, honey. Right this way,” she gestured toward a green curtain that was obviously a private room.

  He took Suzanne’s arm and followed Annalee, not wanting to leave her to the watchful, wary eyes of the men who were drinking and playing cards. It was early yet, but there were still a few intoxicated men who might mistake her for one of Annalee’s girls, considering how she was dressed.

  Suzanne was so stunned by the rustic building and could do nothing but look around as Cody herded her behind the curtain. It was pretty much what she’d seen in the movies. There was an enormous mirror behind the bar, men playing poker at round tables with shots of whiskey at their fingertips, and others scattered throughout the spacious room. There was an upright piano against a wall, but nobody was playing it. The bar itself was a deep, dark rich wood with a brass footrest attached to it that extended from one end to the other. The staircase was curved instead of squared which she found a l
ittle out of the ordinary, but then reminded herself that the only thing she had to compare it to was what she’d seen in movies. She’d never seen the real thing and she wasn’t sure she was seeing the real thing even yet. She was still thinking this was all a dream.

  Cody pulled out a chair for her and sat down beside her. Seeing no point in dancing around the subject, he got straight to the point. “I need you to take care of this lady,” he told Annalee, giving Suzanne a subtle nod.

  She smiled warmly at Suzanne, looking her over with unabashed interest but addressed Cody. “Sure, honey. Anything you want.”

  “No. She can’t be one of your girls,” he said sternly, knowing her intention. “She is in a fragile state.”

  She frowned at her half-breed friend. “What do you mean, fragile state?” she asked suspiciously.

  He gave her a look that told her what she wanted to know.

  She caught on immediately and began to back away. “Oh, no you don’t,” she declared. “I ain’t takin’ care of no girl that can’t earn her own way, especially a pregnant one.”

  He dropped his tone of voice, “Annalee, please. I’ll get you some money but I cannot take her to the village.”

  “Why not? It’s never bothered you before,” she said smartly.

  “You know I’ve never taken any women there,” he refuted quietly, holding her gaze. “She’s different. Come on,” he coaxed.

  Suzanne watched the two bicker over her and felt incredibly sad. She finally grasped Cody’s strong forearm. “If you can just show me which way to go, I can get there,” she said in a pleading voice. “Just point me in the right direction.”

  He knew she was talking about that thing she’d called a car and wasn’t impervious to her touch. He felt tingling go through his entire body and gazed into her distraught blue eyes. “I can’t. It’s too dangerous.”

  She frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “The reason I was out there to begin with is because there are some renegade Indians raising hell, stealing and killing. I wanted to find them before the cavalry does to avoid an all-out war,” he explained. “It’s just too dangerous right now.”

  She shook her head in disbelief. “This can’t be happening. I must be dreaming,” she murmured to herself, lowering her forehead into her hand.

  “You aren’t dreaming,” Annalee said crisply. “This young half-breed means what he says and he’s in a position to know these things. Where is your husband?”

  Suzanne looked at Cody, waiting for him to answer and when he didn’t, she cleared her throat nervously. “Cody found me in the desert. I was lost and my husband is still out there.”

  Annalee looked at Cody again this time with disbelief in her eyes. “I guess that’s as good a story as any.”

  He nodded without saying anything.

  “Are you this child’s daddy?” she asked Cody, loosely gesturing to Suzanne.

  He shook his head. “No, ma’am.”

  She stared at him coldly. “I ain’t takin’ care of none of your brats either, Cody. I like you and you’re a good customer at times even if you don’t drink, but I’m drawin’ the line right here and now.”

  He nodded. “What she said is true. I found her in the desert. I didn’t know she was pregnant until just a short time ago. I’m just trying to help her. That’s all. The village is no place for her.”

  “Can’t argue with that,” she said simply and looked at Suzanne again. “Are you willin’ to work?”

  She nodded without looking at her.

  She fell silent for a moment, then looked at Cody. “I’m going to have a mutiny on my hands if you keep comin’ in here like that,” she abruptly changed the subject. “Or worse yet, my girls will all want you and not even make you pay,” she said with a short burst of laughter.

  Suzanne didn’t think it was funny, but smiled congenially as she looked at Cody. He hadn’t changed his clothes and still wore the buckskin pants and moccasins, but had slipped a baggy white shirt over his head as they were approaching the fort. She didn’t see anything wrong with how he was dressed. She thought it was rather sexy and knew men that would kill for a body like his.

  Cody smirked. Annalee was always outrageous and a terrible flirt, but he liked and respected her. She always treated him with kindness, and always looked past the color of his skin and saw him for the man he really was. He wished he could get treated that way everywhere, but he knew as long as he didn’t cut his hair, dress the way he did, have brown skin, and continue to communicate with Indians in the desert, he would never be anything more than a dirty half-breed.

  “Will you take care of her?” he asked Annalee amiably when she stopped laughing.

  “Aw Cody,” she whined.

  Suzanne swallowed hard, trying to bury her hurt feelings. Nobody wanted her and she was a burden. There had to be a way for her to make it back to her car. There had to be.

  Annalee looked at Suzanne. “Are you willin’ to work?” she repeated.

  She nodded. “But I don’t want to be with men.”

  “Fine,” she snapped. “You can scrub floors.”

  “Okay. Thank you,” she said quietly.

  Cody gave Annalee a nod of appreciation. “Yes. Thank you.”

  “For how long, Cody?” she demanded coolly. “I’m gonna need that extra room eventually and I can’t have a screamin’ baby hangin’ around the customers.”

  “I’m going to take care of this,” he assured her. “You won’t even know when the baby comes. Now, do you have some clothes she can wear?”

  “I’ll get one of the girls to bring her a dress,” she muttered. “Her room is at the end of the hall. Dinner is at six,” she said gruffly and stood up and shook her finger at Cody. “You owe me for this,” she said coldly and walked out.

  Before Cody could even open his mouth, Suzanne had his arm again and was pleading with him. “Please take me back.”

  He covered her hand with his. “I can’t. I don’t understand how you even got here,” he tried to reason with her.

  “Neither do I, but if I can get back to where the accident was, maybe I can figure it out. Please take me back. Please,” she begged.

  He met her tear-filled blue eyes with compassion. “I can’t. Please try to understand. It is dangerous out there right now and it would be bad for you to get caught by these renegades, especially in your condition.”

  “But we’ve made it this far,” she reasoned.

  “We won’t make it back,” he said confidently. “Not yet. There’s going to be war and when that war comes, it’s going to be bloody. I just hope it’s short. When the war is over, I’ll take you back,” he promised.

  Once again, she wished she’d paid attention in history class. She would have known if there had been a war and who’d come out victorious, but she didn’t know anything about it.

  “But that could be years,” she said shakily.

  “I’ll come back for you. I won’t leave you here forever,” he promised, caressing the top of her hand with his fingers.

  “Don’t leave me at all,” she said in a trembling voice, unable to stop the tears from rolling down her sunburned cheeks. “Please.”

  He felt his heart wrench, but knew what he had to do. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “But I have to go.”

  “What if you get killed? How will I get back?”

  He shook his head. “I won’t get killed.”

  “How do you know that?” she asked anxiously.

  “It’s a long story, but I can tell you that I will not be killed in war. I know this to be true.”

  He didn’t want to tell her of the vision that had been sent to him where he was told he wouldn’t die in a war by his spirit animal, the black fox. It was his guide and he knew of its power. To tell her that would serve no purpose. He firmly believed it and that’s what protected him.

  She took her hand back. “Then take me with you. Annalee doesn’t want me here,” she said with a sniff. “She’s made that pe
rfectly clear.”

  “She owes me,” he told her quietly. “She’ll get used to you.”

  “She says you owe her,” she contradicted in a hushed voice of anger. “I don’t want to stay here,” she said and rose to her feet. “I can’t stay here.”

  He didn’t look up at her, but instead stared at the clean but battered table top. “You don’t have a choice. Please don’t go against me,” he said calmly.

  “I didn’t ask for this!” she exploded. “I don’t know how I got here. I don’t want to be here,” she trailed off and covered her eyes with her hand. “This is such a mess,” she said in defeat.

  He stood in front of her, standing a good head and shoulders over her, making her step back and cower a bit. Her actions didn’t escape him, but he pushed it aside, hating it when women were afraid of him. “This is a mess,” he agreed. “But we have to give it a chance to work out. Be patient, Suzanne. This is some sort of strange happening that we can attribute only to the Creator.”

  Her mouth dropped open and she looked at him in disbelief. “You have got to be kidding.”

  He shook his head. “I am not kidding. There’s something to be done here. We just have to figure out what it is.”

  She looked at him for a moment and then looked away, hardly believing what he was saying. He had dragged her here to dump her, never to return. He didn’t want her. Beau hadn’t wanted her. Nobody wanted her. She’d known that for a long time. What would it matter if she stayed here or not? Nobody would miss her.

  He gently lifted her chin to gaze into her teary eyes. He felt bad, but he knew he had to do this. He had kissed her in the desert and it had sent his senses reeling. He wanted more but knew not to ask. It wouldn’t be right. She was going to have a baby and that meant there was another man somewhere. She belonged to another. Still, he would not bury his compassion. He gently brushed her tears away. “You’ll be okay here,” he assured her.

  She met his dark gaze, wishing he would kiss her again. It had been so nice and, even though Beau hadn’t been gone all that long, she hadn’t been at the receiving end of his kindness for months. She had enjoyed Cody’s attention. He’d been very sweet and she longed for more, but knew he was right. She had to let him go. She didn’t want to be a burden to him anymore.