“Do you know the way to Arizona?” she blurted to Boris.
“Arizona?” he echoed in confusion. “Never heard of it.”
She realized that she’d said something she shouldn’t have and, once again, wished she’d paid more attention in history class so at least she’d know when Arizona had become a state. “Um, it’s south of here. Yes, it’s south of here,” she said confidently.
He scowled. “Now, why the hell would I want to go south? It’s damn hot down that way.”
She swallowed her feeling of rejection and the tears that came with it. “If you could point me in the right direction, I think I could make it on my own.”
“Oh no you don’t, missy. You ain’t leavin’ this house ‘til that big buck comes back for ya,” he said with authority. “He’s around, I told ya.”
She shook her head and brushed away the lone tear that was slipping down her cheek. “No, he isn’t.”
“Sure he is. Where would he go?”
“I think he dumped me on you,” she said shakily.
“Excuse me?” Marda asked with confusion.
She looked at her friend with sadness. “He left me here so you would have to take care of me.”
“Oh no, that’s not true,” she denied, putting her arm around her. “He’ll be back. Wait and see.”
“He’s already two weeks late,” she said more calmly. “I would think that would be proof that he isn’t coming back.”
“Sit down here, darling,” she said compassionately and pulled out a high-backed wooden chair then knelt in front of her, taking her hands. “I’ve been around men for a long time and I can see when they’re serious about a woman. I can tell you that Cody is serious about you. I don’t think he would run off and leave you or his child. He has too much integrity for that. He’ll be back, Suzanne,” she said confidently. “You have to believe that.”
She brushed more tears away with a soft sniff. “I’ve been a pain to him ever since we met,” she said morosely.
She pushed her hair back behind her shoulder. “He’s going to come back for you,” she assured her. “He would never leave you. He loves you.”
She shook her head. “Nobody does, Marda. Nobody even knows I’m gone.”
Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Are you telling me he stole you?”
“No, of course not. He’s been nothing but good to me. He saved my life. I was in an accident and he helped me.”
“Then what are you trying to tell me? I’m confused.”
She covered her mouth with her hand and let the tears go. “He isn’t my husband and this baby isn’t his.”
She looked at her in shock. “What is going on?” she asked slowly.
“My husband was killed in a construction accident shortly after I found out I was pregnant.”
“Construction of what?”
“Roads. He was moving a big bunch of dirt and the hillside collapsed and he was killed.”
Boris shot to his feet, knocking the chair over. “You mean to say that you ain’t married to that breed?” he exclaimed angrily.
She nodded with a soft sniff. “That’s what I mean, Boris,” she said levelly.
“And you shared a bed in my house?” he raged.
“Nothing happened,” she said fearfully and gripped Marda’s hands tightly. “He’s never done anything like that. He hasn’t even suggested it.”
“Damn it, Marda,” he hissed and slammed his fist on the table. “I told you these two warn’t nothin’ but trouble.”
Marda shot a cold glare at her husband. “We don’t know the whole story, but if you know where he is, it would be best to tell her now.”
“If I knowed where he was, I would go and get him,” he declared. “I don’t want no damn whore staying in this house.”
Suzanne had been called that so many times, it didn’t bother her anymore, but she’d been hoping Boris would get her started back to Arizona. She had to get back there.
“Don’t talk about her like that,” Marda yelled back at him. “She was properly wed when the child was conceived and her husband died. Didn’t you hear anything she said? She had an accident and Cody helped her.”
He ignored that and pointed at Suzanne accusingly. “I want this whore out of my house.”
“She’s going to have a baby and you cannot send her away with the weather like it is. She stays,” she said sternly.
“Okay,” he said defiantly. “In the barn.”
“In the bed!” she shouted. “She isn’t well yet.”
He was breathing hard with anger. “I’ll give that no-good-for-nothing squaw chaser two more days to get here and if he ain’t here in two days, she’s gone anyway.”
“Boris,” Marda said sharply. “How can you do something like that? This woman is going to have a baby.”
“Hell, she probably lied about that, too. She’s just fat and gettin’ fatter everyday on our food.”
Suzanne ran her hand over her round belly through the dress that Marda had given her, knowing she had to go. She was feeling a lot better and even if Cody had abandoned her, she still had to get back to Arizona. She knew she could get there if she could figure out which direction was which. She’d been buried under a blanket and sick when Cody had brought her here and had no idea from which direction they’d come or how to get back. She was clueless and scared, but she’d make it. Besides, it wasn’t fair to Marda and Boris to stay here and cause them trouble, remembering how she used to hate to fight with Beau. He would get so mean and abusive. She didn’t want that to happen to Marda.
She touched Marda’s arm with uncertainty, getting her attention. “If you could just tell me which way to go, I think I can make it back to where I came from.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, honey. Boris is just being his normal, ornery self,” she said comfortingly. “You stay and wait for Cody. He’ll be back.”
She shook her head. “No, he won’t, but I can make it on my own if you just tell me which way to go.”
“There’s a storm brewing and you’re just getting back on your feet. Why do you want to go out there and get all sick again?” she asked with disappointment.
“I feel better,” she said convincingly. “I really do.
“I know you do, but a few more days of rest won’t hurt you. Think about your baby,” she said convincingly. “He needs rest, too, you know.
“Get this bitch out of my house,” Boris said angrily.
“Shut up,” Marda yelled back at him. “She is not well.”
“She was well enough to bed down with that dirty Injun,” he countered.
Suzanne lowered her head in shame. “But it wasn’t like that. He didn’t try anything.”
“Then why are you pretendin’ to be his wife?” he growled in disbelief.
She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“What business is it of yours anyway?” Marda snapped at her husband. “She is a guest in our home and she will stay until she is one hundred percent well or until Cody comes back. If anybody is going to stay out in the barn, it’s you.”
He rubbed his beard, a sign that he was conceding. “If that big buck comes back here, I’ll shoot him and eat his gizzard for dinner.”
Suzanne had no doubt about that, but didn’t think he was coming back so what difference did it make? For all she knew, he was already dead.
“Show me the way,” she pleaded with Marda. “I can make it.”
“The only thing you’re going to do is sit down here and eat,” she ordered. “Supper will be ready shortly. And you,” she spun to Boris, pointing a finger at him accusingly, “will sit down and hush your mouth.”
He grumbled as he picked up his chair then sat across from Suzanne, giving her a cold, hateful glare.
She looked away. She knew she couldn’t stay another day. She had to leave before something serious happened between Boris and Marda.
“That dumb Injun is probably runnin’ from the law,” Boris muttered.
“Enough!” Marda hissed at him and put her arm around Suzanne.
“It’s okay, honey,” she said compassionately.
Boris glowered at Marda, but said nothing more.
Chapter 32
Later that night, Suzanne lay awake in bed, listening to the wind howl as she burrowed under the heavy quilts and watched the fire dance in the fireplace. She had turned in early so that she could get a little sleep before she left. She’d caused too many problems for everyone. She just wanted to go home.
When her thoughts turned to Cody, tears began to fall. Marda had said he loved her, but she knew that wasn’t true. Marda was a kind person and was just trying to make her feel better. Cody was gone for good. He’d left her just like everyone else had. She did hope he was okay and wished him well.
She clutched his rosary to her heart and prayed for him as she asked for strength to do what she had to do without him.
She didn’t blame him for not coming back. She knew from living with Beau that she was mean and hateful, deceitful and lazy. He’d told her many times. She knew better than to ask him for or about money when they’d come up short and had bills to pay. She knew better than to ask him about his other women or where he’d been when he’d stayed out all night. She’d learned that the hard way. He’d beaten her severely enough that she had to stay home from work for a week.
Nobody had ever suspected that she and Beau had been anything but a happy couple. She’d lied to everyone when they would question her about her bruises and had concocted different stories to cover for his abuse. Even when he was out with other women, she never complained to anyone and never brought it up, despite her heartache.
When their child had been conceived, he had been drunk and had forced himself on her. She’d fought him by screaming, kicking, scratching and even biting him, but that had only excited him more.
When she was having lower abdominal pain and a strange discharge from her vagina a couple of months later, she’d gone to the doctor only to be diagnosed with Chlamydia and found out she was pregnant. The news had shattered her. She was upset about the social disease, but she was more upset about the pregnancy not because she didn’t want a baby, but because she knew Beau would accuse her of cheating and blame her. She had been right.
As it was, he’d assaulted her and didn’t remember doing it. He’d awakened the next day with a hangover and in a foul mood.
She remembered sitting in a chair in their drab living room dressed in her bathrobe, wearing a pad in her underwear to catch the blood that was still trickling from the injuries to her extremities. She had another black eye and her arms were bruised.
“What the hell is your problem?” he grumbled as he buttoned his pants, coming out of the bathroom.
She shook her head with a heavy sniff and pushed her hair out of her face, choking on a sob. He had never hurt her this badly.
He lit a cigarette. “Well, do you plan on fixing me some breakfast or should I just go back to bed and wait for supper?” he said irritably. “God damn, you’re a lazy bitch,” he muttered, running his fingers through his long, dark hair.
“There’s some cereal in the cupboard,” she said shakily.
He looked at her with disbelief. “You can’t be serious. I work all day long, bring home the money and all we have is a fucking box of cereal?” he rasped angrily and pointed at her menacingly. “You get me some real food or I’ll kick your ass.”
Before she was able to get up, he dragged her to her feet by the hair, making her cry out with surprise and immobilizing her.
He glared into her eyes and hissed into her face. “Get moving.”
She stumbled when he shoved her, but didn’t fall and shuffled into the kitchen to make him bacon and eggs. At the same time, she was moving as fast as her body would allow.
She remembered the incident as if it had happened just yesterday. It tormented her that she had really loved Beau, but he’d despised her and wasn’t afraid to tell her or show her. The way he’d treated her shattered any illusions of love and any notion that it was all hearts and flowers. It wasn’t like that at all. It was ugly and painful.
She brushed away the few tears that had slipped down the side of her face and burrowed deeper under the covers. She had to be ready to leave in a few hours.
~~~
Cody trudged through the blinding storm, leading Titan whom he had blindfolded to protect his eyes. He knew he was becoming disoriented and kept his mind on Suzanne and the faint smell of smoke that was in the air. He knew he was close. He just had to stay focused and get there.
He was exhausted. He’d been traveling for days with just occasional stops to let Titan rest and to grab a few minutes of sleep himself. He had to get to Suzanne before she thought he abandoned her. He’d underestimated the time it would take to get to the town and to get back and now the weather was delaying his return.
He knew Suzanne wanted to be in her own world before the baby came and wondered if the baby was even alive. She’d been through hell and had been so sick; it would be a miracle if the baby was okay. He prayed that it would be for her sake. Her sake and the sake of her husband. What was his name again? Beau. Yeah, that’s it. Beau.
He tried not to think of her in any other way than a friend, but it was getting harder all the time. She didn’t talk about her husband much; on the occasions that she did, it wasn’t with great fondness, although she’d never led him to believe she didn’t love him. Cody could see the beauty of her spirit and her soul. She was warm, caring and never complained. He knew it was wrong to covet another man’s wife. He knew it had been wrong for him to kiss her those few times, but he hadn’t been able to resist the temptation and she’d seemed to like it. He wondered if her husband would kill her if he found out that she’d kissed a half-breed. It wasn’t adultery, but it could be considered being unfaithful. He couldn’t bear the thought of her being hurt anymore because of him. The guilt he already had was more than enough and he didn’t think he could stand anymore.
He plodded on, getting clumsy and falling a few times, but got up and kept going. He had to get to her.
~~~
Suzanne dozed off and woke to a cold, dark room with the wind still howling outside. Something had awakened her. She looked around to see what it was as she rubbed her expanding belly. She found nothing and got up to put more wood on the fire that was nearly cold.
She was standing in front of it, warming herself, when she heard something at the window. The wind was blowing like crazy and she thought something had hit it, but was afraid to look. She thought about getting Boris, but knew that she’d already overstayed her welcome and needed to steer clear of the angry man.
She would be gone shortly anyway and was gathering her few things when she heard it again and froze. That was definitely tapping.
She swallowed her fear and made her way to the window, but didn’t pull back the curtain, afraid of what was out there.
The tapping stopped before she got there. She thought maybe she was imagining the whole thing until she heard it again and heard a male voice moan her name. It had to be Cody. She whipped the curtain back and made out his hat and a heavy bear hide coat and the black hair blowing in the wind. “Cody,” she whispered excitedly and opened the window.
He tossed his guns onto the bed under it and climbed through.
She looked at him with happiness. His coat and hat were caked with snow, as were his pants. His face was red from the cold and his hands were covered with mittens. He looked so good; she could barely keep herself from throwing her arms around him and kissing him silly, but thought better of it. He probably didn’t want her anymore, if he had at all.
The first thing he noticed about her was the baby had grown and he sighed with relief. It would appear that Jenny had been wrong and the child was still alive. It was good. He looked at her face and thought it was healing nicely with just a trace of a bruise on her cheek. The cuts were gone, the burnt ends of her hair were gon
e and her hair leveled out, leaving it a bit shorter. She was stunningly beautiful. Her stay here had done wonders.
“Um, I’ll go make you some tea,” she said nervously as she watched him shake off his coat.
“No. Don’t get Boris up. I’m fine,” he assured her and hung the coat over the back of a chair to dry.
“I can be quiet.”
“I know you can, but all I want to do right now is sleep. I’ve been traveling for days.”
“Okay,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.”
He moved the chair closer to the fire before sitting down and pulling off his boots and socks. He rubbed his cold, tired feet and wiggled his toes to get some feeling back into them, hoping he didn’t have frostbite. He combed his fingers through his damp hair that had been exposed to the snow and then rested his elbows on his knees and looked at her. “Sorry for what?”
He could see her trembling and hated it. She seemed so afraid all the time, like an abused animal. He got off the chair and stepped toward her only to have her step back and raise her hands as if she were expecting him to hit her. He went no further and knew she’d been hurt by someone she’d loved and trusted. Yes, she’d been abused by Major Richards and some of the people in the village, but this was a different kind of fear. He couldn’t imagine who would hurt such a beautiful, gentle creature.
She held her breath apprehensively as he gently took her hands and set them to her sides, pulling her into a soft, warm embrace. She could have stayed there forever and found herself with her arms around his slim waist and her head on his chest. “I didn’t think you were coming back,” she said in a tremulous voice.
“I would never leave you, Suzanne,” he whispered as he rocked her slowly and smoothed her soft hair down her back.
She wanted to believe him, but wasn’t so sure. He was two weeks later than he said he would be. She had thought he had abandoned her. She knew he’d had no way to get her a message, not that he would. She had no right to ask him where he was. He was a grown man and didn’t have to answer to anybody. But he had come back and had weathered a bad storm to get here. That mattered.
For the Love of Suzanne Page 17
