Resistor

by Ellis, Madelynne

  “You have to trust yourself, Spook, and Alle too. She’s not — ”

  “Don’t.” Spook raised his hand to cut off the words he didn’t want to hear. “I mean it, Xane. Don’t raise that ghost.”

  “Maybe it’s time you started exorcising some of your demons rather than trying to keep them locked in cages. You could start by releasing the one in your pants.”

  “I can’t,” he whispered.

  Xane gently patted his shoulder. “You want her, don’t you? So why resist to the point where it’s causing you pain? Imagine the taste of her on your lips, your tongue, and chin; the sight of her naked, her skin warmed by a rosy blush, and a stripe across her arse where you’ve landed your belt.”

  “Shut up, Xane.”

  “Fine,” his friend sighed. He gave Spook’s shoulder a final squeeze before withdrawing. “Then you’d best find yourself a quieter spot than this and wank yourself silly, because I’m not sure you want to walk around sporting this for the rest of the night.” He cruelly pinched the head of Spook’s erection, where it was pushed tight against the fly of his trousers. “It’ll be noticed, and when it is, I guarantee you that Alle’s interest will be the least of your worries. There are a whole lot of your fans out there just dying to be the one to seduce you into sliding between their thighs.”

  “I’m not interested in sliding between anyone’s thighs.” Only in Alle’s.

  “Keep telling yourself that.”

  Xane turned away and stalked over to the exit. He paused when he reached the door. “I know you don’t want to hear my advice, but for what it’s worth, just go and fuck her. In fact, do whatever it is you need to get the both of you off. She did a good job on Within You under your guidance; it’d be a shame not to utilize that obvious understanding you have to make the album shine.”

  “Fuck off, Xane.”

  “She’s our best chance at the moment. The truth is that we’re pretty toxic following recent events. Musical genius doesn’t entirely counteract the struggles the media have been reporting. And Iain properly fucked us with his antics. People think Ash is a druggy and they’re not interested in the truth. The sooner we can prove we still have it, the better. We can’t tour until Ash is well, but we can record. This album is fucking important, Spook, so start making your peace with those demons that are riding you, because we need Allegra Hutton. Now, the limo’s waiting. That’s what I actually came to tell you. I’ll expect you inside it in a minute or two.”

  Chapter Five

  Spook waited until Xane was gone, then he released his fly and gave his cock a cold dunking. It did fuck all besides get him wet, and drying the damn pole was pure agony. It strained every nerve he possessed not to give in to the promise of bliss each touch elicited, and to wedge his erection back into his pants and zip up again instead.

  Thankfully, it was only a short walk across the foyer to meet the waiting limousine and no one got in his way. There was a row of photographers outside, along with an assortment of screaming fans jammed behind crash barriers. However, Xane was waiting, his hand resting upon the top of the open limo door.

  “Hurry it up,” he hollered, prompting Spook to attempt a half-hearted jog.

  “That was quite a bit more than two minutes,” Xane complained, as Spook ducked his head and climbed into the vehicle.

  “Wait, where is everyone?” he asked, expecting to find the bench seat full to bursting. Only one other person was present.

  “In the other car,” Xane said, while he was still on the pavement. “See you at the hotel, and don’t worry, the in-cab camera is on.” He slammed the door.

  “Xane!” Spook cursed, reaching for the door handle even as the locks snapped into place. He hammered on the glass, but the windows were tinted, and Xane probably couldn’t see him from the outside. Besides, the driver had already set the car in motion. “Xane, you utter wanker.” Being locked in a moving vehicle with her was not going to solve anything. “Fuck!” He sat back on the rear seat and banged his head hard against the headrest.

  He saw her turn. A faint blush spread along her cheekbones as her gaze settled upon him. Had she been in on the ruse, or was she as surprised by this as him? “Fuck,” he yelled again for good measure, this time smashing his fist against the leather seat to save himself the headache.

  “I assume this means you’re going to veto the possibility of me mixing any of the new album,” she said, eyes downcast in genuine disappointment.

  Spook’s attention fastened upon her, the long arch of her neck, then the bright blue of her eyes, followed by the smattering of freckles across her nose that no amount of foundation could hide. It seemed mean to wreck the opportunity for her. He knew this was a huge deal. It would make her seriously hot property, but at the same time, he couldn’t have her around twenty-four hours a day, living in his house, because he’d be a nutcase by the end of the first day.

  A relationship was out of the question, regardless of Xane’s thoughts on the subject. If he’d wanted that, he wouldn’t have spent the last few months avoiding her.

  “Am I not good enough?” she asked quietly.

  “You know that’s not the reason.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stop the massive headache that was building before it got a proper hold. “We can’t work together, Alle. You know we can’t.”

  “Within You came out all right.”

  “I’m not talking about the music.” Yes, Within You had come out well, that’s why they were in this position, with Graham banging on about her being the obvious choice.

  “Then what are you saying?” She scooted sideways towards him along the long J-shaped bench. “What did I do wrong, Spook?”

  “Nothing” he mumbled, refusing to meet her gaze. “You haven’t done anything.” Nothing besides getting under his skin, and he couldn’t punish or blame her for that. He shifted uncomfortably. His damn trousers were cutting him in half. He needed to release his zip and give his cock some breathing room. But he wasn’t about to do that in front of her, because hey, social niceties and all, plus, fuck knows where it would lead.

  Actually, he knew only too well where it would lead, and it wasn’t somewhere he was ready to go, though he suspected she’d be only too willing.

  “Then if I haven’t done anything wrong, tell me why you’re so damned determined to keep me at arm’s length?”

  All he dared do was shake his head.

  “You know, when you didn’t call, I blamed myself. I thought maybe I’d misread everything, and that I’d imagined the chemistry between us, but I didn’t force you into playing along, and I didn’t start what happened half an hour ago. I’ll admit I was a bit pushy, but it’s not like I got the thumbscrews out.”

  No thumbscrews were needed. He’d fallen for her hook, line and sinker the moment she’d walked in the room.

  She reached the end of the bench seat, and leaned forward, face full of determination. Her chin stubbornly lifted. “Spook, talk to me. I know you can feel the pull that exists between us, so why are you so determined not to explore it?”

  He was too busy trying to concoct an answer to stop her hand settling upon his knee. More of those blasted fireworks she lit in him screamed through his nerve-endings. Thoroughly rattled, he strove for control by sitting rigidly. It might even have worked, if it weren’t for the noose of his underwear. His goddamned cock wanted nothing more than to stand up straight and say hello to her. Too bad, he had no intention of letting it.

  “Talk to me, please. Just explain what’s going on.” Not content with the possession of his knee, Alle’s palm smoothed across the leg of his leathers towards his thigh.

  Spook stared at her hand, itching to stop her. Anyone else he’d have stopped in a heartbeat, but with her, he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. Damn her, couldn’t she see what she was doing to him? Maybe she could. Maybe that was the point.

  “I’ve dreamed about you over these last few months,” she confessed, her voice barely more than a whisp
er. The tone, the breathiness of her voice, the low lover’s talk, all compounded his torment, making him doubly uncomfortable.

  They couldn’t be lovers. He wouldn’t survive it.

  His sanity depended upon strict adherence to a life of celibacy.

  “I’ve replayed what we did so many times. It’s never felt like it did with you with anyone else. We could have so much fun together, Spook. I feel you understand me. You know my limits.”

  “I know mine too.” They’d bypassed them quite some time ago. He reached for her hand, meaning to move it from his thigh. “Nothing else is going to happen between us, Alle. Best you just forget anything ever did.”

  Just as he meant to close his grip around her wrist, she moved, scooting over to join him on the rear seat. “Is that what you’re doing, pretending it never happened? It happened, Spook; shall I remind you of the details? You upended me over your lap, bared my arse, and brought your hand down so hard it stung. It tingled like crazy, and I loved it. It made me so fucking horny. Better yet, you didn’t give in to me. You didn’t just go ahead and screw me like I begged you to, you made me masturbate for you.” She lowered her gaze, briefly, and then peeped up at him shyly from beneath her eyelashes. “I’ve never done that for a man, leastways, not so graphically, and not while he was taking pictures. You promised to show me those pictures.”

  He had, hadn’t he? Somehow that fact had escaped his attention whenever he’d caught himself looking at them.

  “I deleted them.”

  “Really?” she asked.

  He shook his head, unable to lie to her directly. ‘Just from the memory card. I still have copies, but not on my phone.’

  ‘Obviously, you’ll have to take some more, then.’

  Spook shook his head a little harder.

  “No, it’s OK. The driver can’t see us. Nor can anyone outside. I can lean over your lap, right here, no problem.”

  He didn’t know if her skirt would lift up that far, and he didn’t intend to find out. “You’ll feel better once you’ve warmed my arse,” she insisted. “And a lot better once you’ve let this beast out of its cage.” Alle danced her fingertips over the front of his protruding fly, even went so far as to reach for the zip pull.

  “Alle, stop it. We can’t.”

  “Totally can. You’re a rock star. This is a limousine and I’m totally up for making all your fantasies come true.”

  All of them? Goddammit, he believed her too. Maybe that’s why she was freaking him the fuck out. The first time they’d met had damn near caused a nuclear meltdown. He wasn’t sure he had the strength for a second clash.

  “Stop this, Alle.”

  “Only if you make me,” she retorted, challenging him. “If you want me to stop, then make me stop, because I don’t want or intend to. I want to work with your band, and I want you, Spook Mortensen. So, unless you stop me, I’m going to get down on my hands and knees between your thighs and get you off. I think you’ll find using your brain for something other than fruitless denial a little easier once your dick’s at ease. He certainly wants me. Look how excited he is to see me. I bet the poor bugger hasn’t had any fun since the last time we met.”

  Damn her. He gritted his teeth and watched, frozen as she slid open his belt buckle and attacked the button beneath. The teeth of his fly came apart of their own accord as his cock jerked in happiness over its release. Didn’t it just love the idea of her forming her mouth around it, or of her climbing astride his lap so it could burrow right into her pussy?

  But that wasn’t who he was, or what he was about.

  Like it cared.

  “Alle,” he barked in warning.

  Too late, she was holding him, cradling the head of his erection in her palm.

  Fuck! He was putty in her hands, and she knew it.

  “I mean it.” He reached out to push her away, but she shocked him by slapping his hand aside.

  “You’ll have to try harder than that if you want me to believe this isn’t what you want. See, I’ve heard all about your legendary control, but I’ve yet to see much evidence of it. I figure that means one of two things. Either, it’s just a rumour, or, you’re really, really pleased to see me.” She cheekily leaned over and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Admit it, Spook. You want this. You want me to make you come.”

  She was too close. Close enough to kiss. He wished he didn’t remember the taste of her quite so well. He’d hoped time would erode the memory. It hadn’t, and then she’d given him that little reminder up there on the stage in front of everybody while he was collecting the award, just to make things even harder.

  She was making him harder.

  “Don’t,” he groaned, but even he knew he didn’t mean it.

  Was it wrong, him letting her massage his shaft like this, when he didn’t intend to let it go anywhere? Probably, but it felt so damned good.

  “You can stop me any time you like. Just tell me you don’t want me to do this.”

  But he did want it. That was the problem. He couldn’t shutter his heart up against her as he could with anyone else. He couldn’t turn off the desire he felt. The truth was, he didn’t just want to thrust into her mouth. He wanted to drive his cock into her. He wanted to ride her so hard their bodies met with a smack, the sound of which reverberated with the same tenor as his palm across her backside. He wanted to come all over her. Paint her skin with it, make her dirty and wild, and hear her beg. The thought of punishing her, torturing sweet sighs from her lips, got him so fucking worked up he was leaking pre-come all over her hand.

  “You’re a big fat liar if you say you don’t want this,” she hissed. He proved her point by automatically lifting as she tugged his leather trousers off his hips. The soft brush of her fingertips slid along the ridges either side of his abs as she slithered onto the floor between his knees. “You do want it, don’t you, Spook? One word and I’ll give you everything you need.”

  The last time she’d sucked him, he’d been convinced his soul would slide out of him along with his spunk. Letting her do it a second time would surely guarantee it.

  What the fuck was he going to do?

  Let her do it — that’s what. Hell, he’d wasted enough time imagining it over the last few months.

  “Fuck!” he swore, his voice cracking under the strain.

  “Was that a yes?”

  When her tongue peeped out, Spook released a hiss of anguish, yet watched mesmerised as she wetted her lower lip, adding shine to the plump pink surface.

  “Alle…”

  “I know giving in isn’t easy for you, so just nod if you can’t say it. It’s OK, Spook. I’m not going to tell anyone about it. They can go on imagining you’re some kind of saint. Only you and I need to know the truth.”

  He couldn’t recall moving, and yet suddenly his fingers were entwined within the coppery strands of her hair, and he was pulling her closer, nudging his cock against her pretty mouth. Sliding inside…

  It wasn’t enough that she just sucked him. He was wound too tight to take things slow.

  He possessed her. He took.

  Yes, dammit, he took.

  They were past the point of niceties. His defences were shot to pieces, and if he was going to fall, then he was going to do it in a damned blaze of glory.

  Best of all, she didn’t protest. She whimpered, but that was all pleasure. He knew how to tell the difference.

  Last time, he’d come apart far too soon. This time he wanted to savour the moment, each caress of her lips, the tickle of her tongue, and that glorious, repetitive slide into her throat. Hell yeah! She might not actually be deep throating him, but it sure as hell felt like it. Every bit of his shaft was feeling this.

  Best goddamned blow job of his life, no question about it.

  Spook pulled her closer still, helped her move her head to maintain the rhythm being dictated by his pistoning hips.

  Why had he balked at doing this? Why avoid something that afforded so much pleasur
e and felt so damned good?

  He knew the answers, and they were valid ones.

  It was just hard to think sensibly about it when this felt so damned sweet.

  Actually, no — it wasn’t sweet. Nowhere near. Rather, it skirted a line between pleasure and pain because he needed it so badly. His balls throbbed. She produced a high better than any narcotic, and was a million times more addictive.

  The first taste of her had been enough to hook him. He’d walked through the weeks since, constantly fighting the craving to claim her. Now, he couldn’t — wouldn’t ever — get enough.

  This just felt so fucking right.

  When a minute or so later, she somehow disentangled herself from his grasp and his cock fell free of her mouth, Spook’s hips kept on churning, seeking out the piece of heaven he’d lost. “What?” he asked, as Alle scooted backwards onto the long bench seat she’d originally occupied. Had he been too rough? Her pale cheeks were flushed, and her lips were rather more red than when they’d started. Her breasts rose and fell with each trembling breath.

  “Come back. I’ll cool it down.”

  Alle shook her head. “Why don’t you come here and heat it up some more?”

  Captivated, Spook watched her spread her legs. The split in the front of her dress meant he could see almost to the apex of her thighs. Alle shimmied out of her panties and pinged them at him. He didn’t need her to spell it out to know what she wanted. Nevertheless, she rested her index finger over her mons. “Why don’t you bring yourself and your very nice hard-on over here and treat us both to something special?”