Jump When Ready

by David Pandolfe

  “Where are the others?” I asked.

  Martha motioned for me to sit. “This meeting is just between the three of us. Curtis and I thought you might be wondering about a few things.”

  “Where do we start?” I asked, sinking into Martha’s sofa. One of the things I’d learned about the afterlife was that any answers always led to more questions. Kind of like life, really.

  “How about we start with an explanation?” Curtis said.

  “Sounds good. What explanation?”

  “Well, to start, you were probably wondering why I showed up at your house and had you Banished. I bet that seemed totally unfair at the time. True?”

  For a while, there hadn’t been time to think about it, but since we’d rescued Bethany I’d wondered about that a few times. “True, definitely. Not to mention surprising. Sorry, but I had you pegged for the kind of person who would’ve enjoyed watching me drive my family insane.”

  Curtis looked a little embarrassed. “Yeah, you would have been right. Before.”

  “But something changed,” I said.

  “Exactly. Something changed for me.”

  “Finally,” Martha added and Curtis chuckled. “I hope you don’t mind,” she continued, “but I used your situation as a way for Curtis to do something about his own. It occurred to me that he needed to see where you were heading if things didn’t change.”

  A cold feeling came over me as I remembered how far gone I’d been during that time. That morning of ghosting out came rushing back to me. I felt weak just thinking about it. Suddenly, I knew where I might have gone next if Curtis hadn’t intervened.

  “I can tell by your expression that you understand,” Martha said. “Two things might have happened. You might have continued on indefinitely in your weakened condition. In other words, you’d have become what they call a ghost. Or…” Martha let her words trail off to see if I got it.

  “Or I might have made another choice,” I said. “Like getting really angry.”

  “Yes, you might have chosen anger. You see, both are equally obsessive states. Either one keeps us from moving forward. Had you chosen anger—and remained in that state—you would have regained your strength but you would have been no better off. In fact, you might have been much worse off, ultimately.”

  “As in, on the way to hell?”

  Martha’s eyes met mine. “It’s not what you think, but every one of us has the potential to create a hell of our own. In a sense, it’s no less painful than the stories you’ve heard. We can torture ourselves forever if we choose to.”

  “I couldn’t see it but that’s where I was heading,” Curtis said. “Martha made me finally realize. She also showed me the fastest way to recover. It sounds kind of corny, so I’ll let her tell it.”

  Martha laughed. “Okay, let me be the corny one. The fastest way of getting back on track is by putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own. It’s a bit of a cliché, I know, but it also happens to be true. So, I decided that by helping you, Curtis might very well save himself. With that in mind, I agreed to follow Curtis’s recommendations as long as he promised to follow through with doing everything possible to help you.”

  Curtis hunched forward in his seat. “It was hard at first. Seriously, it’s way easier to just care about yourself. But then I realized what was going on. You were tearing yourself apart, not to mention driving your family insane. I didn’t really see a choice but to Banish you from your home, even though it would feel like someone was tearing your heart out.”

  Curtis was right—at the time, being Banished really had felt like someone tearing my heart out. Which brought to mind one of the other things I’d just been wondering about. “Am I still Banished?” I asked Martha.

  Martha thought for a moment. “I see no reason for it. Not any longer.”

  “Once we got you out of there, all we could do was wait and see,” Curtis said. “But Martha’s hunch was right. She thought if I took you to that town, you might realize you had other options than trying to get through to your family. That you might come up with a new plan. As it turns out, you made all the right choices. Which made me feel like a total fool, considering I’ve been pissed off since 1972.”

  I checked to be sure, but Curtis was smiling.

  Martha smiled too. “So, would you agree that Curtis made the best possible choice for you at the time?”

  I didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely. It seems weird saying this, but thanks.”

  “You’re welcome,” Curtis said. “Just don’t make me do it again.”

  Martha and I both laughed.

  “There’s something you asked me before,” Martha said. “At the time, I couldn’t give you a direct answer. I can now, if you’re still curious.”

  I knew right off what she was talking about. “Why we’re grouped together?”

  “Exactly,” Martha said, “although I suspect by now you’ve figured it out. Because of your special abilities, of course. It’s been determined that groups such as yours are better off kept separate, at least for a while. And that you can benefit from special guidance at times. Otherwise, well, there can be trouble.”

  I thought back to when Jamie, Nikki and I talked about our potential as a special group. Whether we were more likely to do good or bad. “What kind of trouble?”

  For some reason, Martha blushed. “Let me offer an example,” she said. “Imagine a lonely young lady, just thirteen years old, who after Transitioning realizes she’s, shall we say, gifted. Not just with one ability, but several. She can Manipulate, Speak and sometimes even Emerge. This was quite some time ago, as well, when people were more inclined to believe in spirits. Now, imagine that this girl doesn’t realize anyone else has these kinds of abilities. She thinks she’s the only one. All of it goes to her head. Just think of the attention she can get!”

  “No kidding,” I said. “Serious Poltergeist opportunity.”

  “Indeed. So, off she goes around the Earth creating disturbances. She inhabits castles, churches, hospitals, schools, you name it. No matter how many times she’s Banished from one location, she just finds another. It takes nearly a century for her to come to her senses and realize she’s accomplishing nothing. Now, can’t you just imagine how much better off she might have been if she’d been grouped with others like herself? That way, she’d have been much more likely to see the foolishness of her own behavior. And, of course, the guidance of someone with similar attributes could have helped as well.”

  The blush had kind of tipped me off, but first I needed to be sure about something. Another question that had occurred to me before. “Can we age here?”

  “If we choose to,” Martha said. “For example, if you think it would help to appear more mature.”

  “Like if you were in Service,” I said.

  “Yes, that would be a good reason. Especially, if you were looking after a younger set.”

  I sat there stunned, staring at Martha. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? You were a Poltergeist?”

  Martha smiled and I felt sure I caught a mischievous gleam in her eye. “One of the very best of all time. People still visit the places I used to inhabit, hoping to hear or see me.”

  “Wow,” was all I could manage. Seriously, Martha was a bad-ass Poltergeist?

  Martha shrugged. “Everyone has a past. But who better to guide a group that might make the mistake of behaving in a similar manner?”

  I looked over at Curtis to see him grinning. “Did you know?”

  Curtis shrugged. “Only recently. Pretty cool, huh?”

  Martha laughed before I could answer. “Not cool at all! That’s the entire point. If you have an ability, you should use it to help people. As you did for your sister and Curtis did for you. Right, you two?”

  Curtis and I both nodded, but neither one of us could wipe the smiles off our faces.

  Martha turned to me. “Now, we were wondering if you might be able to do something for Curtis. All things considered, you probably
won’t have the opportunity again.”

  ~~~

  It seemed fitting that Curtis and I went to Seattle together, where we sat in a fir tree towering so tall that it seemed to stand guard over an entire neighborhood. The sky above was thickly overcast, the air misty, as we looked down at apartment buildings and passing cars. Soon, it would rain—not hard, but the rain would come a bit at a time, you could tell. Drizzle weather.

  “Remind you of anything?” Curtis said.

  Of course, it did. Although we were in the city, this was essentially the same atmosphere I’d arrived with on my first day between lives.

  “I was hoping to visit the Northwest.” I said. “Just before I died.”

  Curtis grinned. “And here you are. Life’s pretty amazing sometimes, isn’t it?”

  “It really is,” I said. It seemed a weird conversation for two dead kids to be having.

  I laughed, then Curtis did too. We sat in silence for a while after that, the two of us perched in that gigantic tree. He seemed lost in thought.

  After a while, Curtis said, “You know what happened to me, right?”

  I thought about whether I might be betraying Jamie’s confidence by answering, but Curtis’s tone told me he wasn’t worried about it. “Yeah, I know what happened.”

  “I figured. Who’s not going to talk about some guy skydiving without a parachute?” Curtis looked over at me. “Listen, that was a huge mistake. The worst thing anyone can ever do is to commit suicide. All it does is cause pain all around. But, ironically, I guess you know that.”

  “As it turns out.” A wave of relief washed over me as I reminded myself that my family finally knew my death had been an accident. “So, I guess it’s about time I told you why we’re here sitting in this tree together.”

  “Have to admit, I am curious.”

  “You’re my Witness,” Curtis said. “And, yes, I know you have no idea what that means,” he added, grinning at the confused look on my face. “A Witness is the person, who, well, sees you out.”

  What I thought he was saying started to sink in. “Like when someone dies?”

  “But in reverse,” Curtis said. “A Witness isn’t required, but most people prefer some moral support. It’s kind of a big step, you know?”

  Really, I didn’t know at all. I’d just assumed that whatever would happen next would take place in some distant future. I’d also assumed it would happen out of the blue, kind of like drowning or falling off a cliff or getting hit by a bus. I mean, I hadn’t spent my life thinking about dying and so far I hadn’t really spent all that much time in my afterlife thinking about what followed. Either way, I just figured it was something we couldn’t control.

  “You look kind of stunned.”

  “I guess I am,” I said.

  “By the way, it’s sort of an honor. The whole being a Witness thing. Most people choose a really strong soul.”

  “So, you haven’t met any strong souls lately?”

  Curtis smiled. “Yeah, I have. One of the strongest I’ve ever known.”

  I looked at Curtis, not sure what to say.

  “Right, I mean you. You pulled us all together. You made something happen that everyone thought was totally impossible. By the way, Martha told me she saw that in you from the start. She said you were a really strong soul.”

  Me, a strong soul. Until that moment, I’d thought of myself as more a lost soul.

  Curtis looked up as some birds took off into the sky, watching them go. “You really have no idea how far you’ve come in such a short period of time. I spent the first five years complaining about the unfairness of it all. What I should have had, what should have happened, all that. It never even occurred to me to think about someone else. You never did that.”

  I watched the birds become specks, then disappear. I wasn’t sure what to say.

  Curtis poked my shoulder. “Just don’t let that go to your head or anything. You might start acting like me.”

  Curtis laughed and I did too.

  “Listen, I have one more thing to show you. This time, it’s actually something positive. See that apartment building? Look to the third floor window.” Curtis pointed across the street.

  I saw a guy standing in one of the windows, talking on the phone. I guessed him to be maybe in his twenties. He wore jeans and a T-shirt and his hair was kind of long. Behind him, a kitchen glowed with light while things cooked on the stove.

  “What do you see?”

  “A guy cooking and talking on the phone.”

  “Exactly, that’s the guy,” Curtis said. “What do you get from him? Any first impressions?”

  I thought for a moment. “I don’t know why, but he seems like a nice person.”

  “He is,” Curtis said. “I’ve checked him out completely. His name is Josh. He graduated from college a few years ago and right now he’s an art teacher for an elementary school. He wants to publish graphic novels someday, but for now he likes being a teacher. The thing is, he’s just the opposite of my step-father in my last life, who I was stuck with after my mother died in a car accident. There he was with no wife and this kid he basically couldn’t stand and wanted nothing to do with. He was pissed off all the time.”

  I took a moment to process what Curtis had just told me. “Sorry. It sounds like your last life was pretty messed up.”

  “Not the best, definitely. Then again, you drowned in a river.”

  “Yeah, that wasn’t so great.”

  “Sorry, dude. That must have sucked bad.” Curtis cracked a smile.

  “It really did.” I started laughing. It felt so strange to laugh about it. “I plan to avoid doing that again. Okay, so what’s up with the dude across the street?”

  “Right, here’s where it gets interesting.” Curtis gestured down at the sidewalk, to where a young woman had just stepped off a bus while talking on her cell phone. “See her?”

  “Sure.”

  “Who do you think she’s talking to?”

  I considered for just a second. “The guy in the apartment?”

  Curtis nodded. “Exactly. By the way, there’s a reason why she prefers riding the bus to driving. She doesn’t remember it, of course, but she died in a car accident in her last life.”

  It took a moment, then I realized what Curtis was telling me. “Is she…?”

  “Well, she was,” Curtis said. “Once upon a time, in an entirely different life, that woman gave birth to a boy that she and her husband decided to name Curtis. Those were the happiest days of her life. She had no way of knowing that within a few years her husband would get sick and die. Or that later she’d get married again, this time to a pathetic jerk. And, of course, she couldn’t know that she would later die in a car accident or that her seriously depressed son would jump off the roof of his apartment building.”

  My eyes went back to the man in the window. He spotted the woman and waved happily. “Wait. Is that…?”

  “You really are sharp today.” Curtis smiled. “My father and mother arranged to meet again in this life. They got married last year. They’re really happy together. So happy, in fact, that they’ve decided to start a family. Which means…” Curtis let his words trail off and waited for me to finish his sentence.

  “Which means it’s time to say goodbye?” It surprised me to find myself choking up.

  “Yep, I guess it’s time for me to jump back into things. Kind of literally, in this case.” Curtis punched me lightly on the arm. “Hey, don’t look so sad. This is a happy occasion. And life’s a funny thing—we’ll probably cross paths again at some point.”

  “I hope so,” I said.

  “Can you picture me wearing diapers?” Curtis grinned and I laughed.

  “I’d rather not.”

  “Yeah, can’t exactly wrap my brain around that either.” Curtis stood and walked out along the branch.

  I went to follow, but Curtis turned and held up his hand to stop me. Then he pointed down, to where the woman was about to pass beneath ou
r tree. “Thanks for being my Witness. Tell everyone goodbye for me, okay?”

  “I will.”

  “Ask me if I’m ready,” Curtis said.

  “Are you ready?”

  He thought for one last second, then nodded. “Definitely.”

  Curtis turned and walked to the end of the branch. He paused for just a moment, then jumped into the air and vanished.

  I remained in the tree after the woman entered the apartment building. Not for very long, but just long enough to see her appear in the kitchen window next to her husband, who wrapped her in his arms.

  You’d think after experiencing something like that, I would have been thinking about life, birth, death, all that. Not really. What came to mind was seeing if Jamie felt like hitting that skate park. After all, I was still basically just a kid.

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  1

  A Voice from the Other Side

  Nights like these were one of the things Ian loved most about being in college, walking through the streets of Seattle with his friends and knowing that the future remained wide open. Limitless possibilities awaited while the present offered the comfort of what had now become familiar. Sure, there was the looming pressure of next week’s remaining finals but tonight had been about blowing off some steam, hitting a party and reveling in the fact that the winter break was just days away. The only downside was knowing Lisa would be flying off to Denver soon.