Suddenly Daddy and Suddenly Mommy

by Loree Lough

  Then, strong hands gripped her waist, eased her into a softly cushioned chair. One of those hands, cool and smooth and steady, cupped the back of her neck, forcing her to rest her face between her knees.

  “Deep breaths, Jaina,” he instructed, repeatedly stroking her back. “Get some oxygen into your lungs, some blood to your brain.”

  Mechanically, she did as she was told.

  “That’s the way. Nice, steady breaths. You’re gonna be fine, just fine….”

  The dizziness was passing, the trembling easing, and she was able to think a bit more clearly at last. So why can’t I sit up?

  Because Buchanan’s hand, pressed against her back, prevented it.

  “Easy now,” he coached. “Atta girl.”

  “You can let go now,” Jaina said, words muffled by her denim skirt.

  “Oh. Sorry.” He let go and, with a hand on each of her shoulders, helped her sit up.

  Their faces were no more than six inches apart, he facing the window and she facing him. Even in the cloudy light that eked through the glass, his eyes seemed so big and bright. A shudder passed through her when he blinked and she made note of long, dark blond lashes and clear blue irises.

  She almost said aloud, “No, don’t,” when he narrowed his eyes and muttered, “Remind me never to sneak up on you again. You put the fear of…” He hesitated, frowned, then licked his lips. “You really had me going there for a minute.”

  Funny thing was, she believed him. Who’d have thought a lawyer, who defended society’s worst, could be so kind?

  “You okay?” he asked, strong fingers combing her damp bangs back into place.

  Jaina nodded. “I feel like a little fool, damaging your whatchamacallit, your…thingamajig, swooning like some kind of—”

  “I’d like a copy of your thesaurus,” he interrupted, chuckling, “’cause it’s gotta be more interesting than the one I’ve been using.”

  Jaina smiled shakily, ran a hand through her hair and, wincing, looked at her still-bleeding palm.

  “I’ll buzz Pearl.” Buchanan reached for his phone. “That woman is prepared for any emergency. She’ll have a bandage and some—”

  She grabbed his forearm. “No. Please, don’t. I’m embarrassed enough. One witness to my display of weakness is one too many.”

  He perched on the edge of his desk and regarded her carefully. “The color is coming back into your cheeks. I think you’ll live.” The words were no sooner out of his mouth than he seemed to realize the inappropriateness of them, considering the content of Kirstie’s note. Beneath the ruddy complexion, his cheeks reddened slightly.

  “I’ve wasted far too much of your time already,” Jaina said, changing the subject. “Besides, I told my folks I’d be away an hour or so. It’s been a long time since they’ve been alone with—”

  “A baby?”

  Jaina nodded. “Yeah,” she said dully, reminded of the reason for her visit, “a baby.” She shook her head and sighed. “I know it’s ridiculous after just twenty-four hours, but I really miss the little guy.”

  He went on as if he hadn’t heard her. He handed her photocopies of the note and the birth certificate. “I feel like a first-class heel for scaring Kirstie off yesterday. She overheard one humdinger of an argument, and I’m afraid she got the idea it’s my normal personality.” One side of his mouth lifted in a wry grin and he spread his arms wide. “I’m not so terrible, am I?”

  On the one hand, she felt she had good reason to believe he was so terrible, when she considered the malpractice suit he’d won and that was just one case! On the other, he’d been so gentle with her, so kind and sweet and…

  But she couldn’t admit either of those things straight out, not to the man who stood between her and Liam. Jaina chose her words carefully. “I don’t suppose ‘fee, fi, fo, fum’ is a regular part of your vocabulary.”

  His smile softened. “I have a friend who’s a private investigator. If he can find Kirstie, will you vouch for me?”

  Would Jaina tell the girl it had all been a terrible misunderstanding, that her uncle was goodness personified? She honestly didn’t know. “When we realized that she’d left, I told my parents we should try to find her so she wouldn’t have to spend her last months…” The next word froze in her throat.

  “Alone?”

  Jaina nodded.

  His expression warmed. “You mean…you’d have taken her in? Just like that? You would’ve cared for a total stranger until…?”

  “Well, of course I would!” she said, rescuing him from having to finish the dreadful sentence.

  The blue eyes darkened as his brow furrowed. “How very kind of you.”

  What was going on in that handsome head of his? What had changed his mood this time?

  “There isn’t much I can do to alter the outlook for Kirstie, but my nephew’s future has yet to be decided.”

  His nephew.

  So, Buchanan was drawing boundary lines, was he, and daring her to cross them? Would he have issued the same cold challenge if he’d known Jaina had never run away from one in her life? “Kirstie made it perfectly clear that—”

  “She’s barely eighteen—dying—and completely alone in the world.” On his feet now, he began to pace back and forth behind his desk. Then he stopped abruptly, pressing both palms on his desktop and leaning over it. “Nothing she said under the duress of these conditions can be taken seriously.”

  Oh, you’re good, Buchanan. I’ll give you that. I’ll bet juries just love you. She matched his tone decibel for decibel. “I hope you aren’t saying Kirstie wasn’t of sound mind when she wrote that note, because she looked sane and reasonable to me.” She hesitated, then lifted her chin and boldly added, “And I’m perfectly willing to testify to that fact.”

  He straightened, crossed both arms over his chest. “You must be perfectly healthy, too, because you sure did make a fast recovery.”

  If you weren’t so perfectly arrogant, you might be perfectly gorgeous! Jaina thought. Was he accusing her of faking the fainting spell? What sort of woman did he think she was? “What?” she protested.

  Either he hadn’t heard her or had chosen to ignore the question. “I wasn’t aware you had a degree in psychology, Miss…er…Jaina.”

  She didn’t like the way he stood there, towering over her. Fighting the last of her wooziness, Jaina got to her feet. “I don’t need a degree in psychology to know an unbalanced person when I see one. Kirstie was as…” She narrowed her eyes. “I was about to say she was as rational as you, but you’re obviously not rational, or you wouldn’t be—”

  “I’ll determine her health, mental and physical,” he asserted, all but ignoring her, “if and when I find her.”

  Perhaps if she appealed to his sensitive side… Please, God, let him have a sensitive side.

  “Mr. Buchanan, you haven’t had much time to absorb all this information. Why don’t you give yourself a day or two, let it sink in while your friend looks for Kirstie. And while you’re waiting, maybe you’ll give a thought or two to what Kirstie is going through. I mean, it couldn’t have been easy, physically or emotionally, to make that long trip from Illinois to Maryland with a baby, especially on a crowded bus. But she did it because she was desperate to find a good home for Liam before…”

  Before she dies.

  Try as she might, Jaina couldn’t make herself complete the sentence.

  “I’m thinking of nothing but what she’s going through…what she’s been going through. Which is why I want to find her. I want to make sure she’ll get the best of—” he spread his arms wide “—the best of everything. We’re minutes from Johns Hopkins after all, where the country’s top doc—”

  Jaina held up a hand to silence him. “I haven’t lived my life on another planet, Mr. Buchanan. I’ve heard a thing or two about the great work they do at Johns Hopkins.” She clasped her hands to her waist. “I hope you find Kirstie, because I have a feeling she’ll need all the help the hospital’s speciali
sts can give her.” She returned to her seat, took a calming breath. “Until then, may I make a suggestion…in the best interests of Kirstie and her son?”

  Buchanan headed back to his own side of the desk. “I’m all ears.”

  “Won’t you let Liam stay with me, for now at least? He’s been through so much in such a short time. It would only confuse him to move again so soon.” She smiled nervously. “He’s happy with me…you’re more than welcome to come see for yourself.”

  A thumbnail between his teeth, Buchanan regarded Jaina through hooded eyes as he contemplated her suggestion. After a while, he buzzed his secretary. “Pearl? What’s my schedule like for the rest of this week?”

  Her voice crackled through the speakerphone. “Have you forgotten? You leave this evening for that conference in New York.”

  Buchanan exhaled an exasperated sigh. “That’s right,” he said, more to himself than to Pearl. “I did forget, what with all this baby stuff and—”

  “Your speech is typed up and ready to go,” Pearl continued, “and I’ve booked you on a flight leaving BWI at eight o’clock. All you have to do is go home and throw a few things in a suitcase.”

  “You’re the best, Pearl.”

  The secretary chuckled. “Sure thing, Mr. B.”

  Hanging up, he swiveled his chair until he faced Jaina. “You’ve been in touch with the authorities, I presume?”

  “Yes. I called Social Services and—”

  “Good.” He nodded somberly. “They have no problem with your keeping the boy?”

  The boy? Jaina swallowed her disapproval. “The boy” has a name. “They’re fine with it,” she said emphatically.

  He studied her face for what seemed an eternity. “I suppose you’re right. If I interfere at this juncture, it might possibly traumatize him.” Buchanan steepled his hands beneath his chin. “All right, Jaina, I’ll take you up on your generous offer. For the time being at least, Liam can stay with you.” He shoved his chair back and stood. “I’ll be back in Baltimore on Friday. We’ll start the preliminaries first thing the Monday morning after that.

  “Meanwhile,” he continued, walking toward the door, “I’ll get my investigator started on the search for Kirstie. I’ll make him photocopies of her note and the baby’s birth certificate, too. That ought to help with his search.”

  “Speaking of which,” Jaina said coolly, “if I’m going to take care of Liam, I need the original birth certificate…just in case anything should happen.”

  He winced. “You’re right. I never thought of that.” He traded the copies for the originals.

  Right now, Jaina wished with all her heart that she hadn’t called him. There didn’t seem to be room in his schedule or his heart for a baby boy. Liam needed a full-time parent, not a man whose career obligations came ahead of “baby stuff.” And there was that matter of the caliber of people he defended….

  “Well,” she said, forcing a smile, “let’s not forget that you’re big for your age.”

  Chuckling, he nodded and opened the door. “I’ll call you from New York so you can introduce me to Liam via the telephone.”

  She stepped into the outer office. He needed to understand that she intended to take her mothering job seriously for as long as it lasted. “Keep in mind he’s only seven months old. Call before eight o’clock or he’ll be fast asleep.”

  Buchanan raised a brow. “What a fortunate boy to have such a fastidious guardian in his corner.”

  Despite her better instincts, Jaina felt warmed by his compliment. She did her best to hide her reaction and offered only a small smile in response.

  “You sure you’re okay to drive?” he asked. “You’re not still dizzy or anything, are you, because I’d be happy to—”

  “I’m fine, thank you.” She headed for the exit. “And Liam will be, too,” she flung over her shoulder.

  “I never said he wouldn’t be.”

  That stopped her dead in her tracks. “So you’ll be calling tonight?”

  He nodded.

  And so did she. Aiming for the elevators, she added, “Talk to you later, then, Mr. Buchanan.”

  “Jaina?”

  She turned. “Yes?”

  “Call me Connor. Makes me feel like a prissy etiquette teacher, what with all your ‘Mr.’ this and your ‘Mr.’ that.”

  She smiled and pressed the down button.

  “Did the picture frame land on your foot?”

  Jaina sighed inwardly. Hard as she had tried to hide it, he’d seen her limp anyway. How else was she to explain the pitying expression on his handsome face?

  She’d always been one to confront things head-on, and saw no reason to hide from his concern. “Thanks for asking, Connor,” she said, deliberately emphasizing his name, “but no, the frame didn’t cause my limp.”

  There seemed to be nothing left to say, so she pressed the first floor button.

  “I’m sorry for asking,” he apologized in a gentle tone. “That was stupid of me,” he added, though his concern had been genuine. “Maybe someday you’ll tell me how….”

  The elevator doors hissed shut, closing off the end of his sentence.

  Connor cleared the remainder of broken glass from the carpet, then carried Susan’s picture to his desk. He couldn’t stop thinking about the wide-eyed fright that had registered on Jaina’s face when he barged into the office earlier. Since she didn’t look like the type who’d be bowled over by a little blood, he assumed something from her past, something horrible and terrifying, must have been responsible for her behavior.

  “He’s not Bill. He won’t hurt you.” She’d chanted the words under her breath, saying them out loud without realizing it. Who’s this Bill guy? Connor wondered, and what did he do to make her so afraid of being near a man?

  He leaned back in the chair, one hand tucked behind his head as he stared at the camera-frozen image of his older sister, his only sibling. He knew by what Kirstie hadn’t said that Susan was dead and buried. How long ago she’d died and of what, he didn’t know. Might never know. He closed his eyes. Not now, he cautioned, shaking his head. Don’t react to it now. You don’t have time.

  He brought to mind Kirstie’s photo, the one she’d asked Jaina to show Liam. If he’d had the chance to see it, he could compare it now to his sister’s image. As it was, he’d have to content himself with a photocopy of the letter and Liam’s birth certificate. Unfortunately, his sister and her daughter had more in common than a striking physical resemblance. Both had given birth while in their teens, and each would have met their Maker way ahead of schedule, leaving a motherless child behind.

  He had no proof, of course, that Kirstie had not married Liam’s father. But if she had, would the girl have traveled halfway across the country in search of a total stranger…someone to care for her boy?

  Connor felt the heat of tears burning behind his eyelids. He hadn’t reacted this way two years ago, when he’d given up all hope of ever finding his sister. Hadn’t reacted this way nearly two decades ago, when Susan had run away from home after their parents found out she’d gotten pregnant out of wedlock. He remembered how they’d frightened her, wondering if she could ever atone for her sin.

  Hundreds of times, he’d wondered why she’d never contacted him. He chalked it up to her overprotectiveness. Susan had no doubt decided that she’d better stay out of the picture for his sake, knowing that their self-righteous parents would have viewed his communication with her as a betrayal of all they believed in and stood for. They’d have made his life miserable. Well, he’d been miserable anyway, so what had Susan’s sacrifice accomplished, except to leave a cavernous hole in his life and a nonstop ache in his heart?

  Connor swiped angrily at his traitorous, tear-reddened eyes. Had his beloved Susan lived alone and died alone? Nah, of course she hadn’t. She’d always been a ray of light in the dark world his harsh and judgmental parents had created for him. She’d been that way with neighbors, kids at school, total strangers. No doubt, where
ver she had chosen to live her life, she’d made friends. Lots of them. He could only hope they were with her at the end.

  And Kirstie—the niece he didn’t even know he had until Jaina Chandelle introduced him to her by way of a brief note—a pretty young girl with everything to live for, including an adorable son. What kind of world was this, where an eighteen-year-old girl could be taken by something as ugly and vile as cancer?

  The answer didn’t satisfy him.

  The same kind of world that turned your parents against their own flesh and blood because she’d made a flesh-and-blood mistake. Whoever said life ain’t fair knew his stuff, he decided.

  Connor ticked off all the things that might have been different if…

  If Susan hadn’t gotten pregnant.

  If he’d been able to find her after she’d left.

  If Kirstie hadn’t heard him shouting on the telephone.

  Of course, the only reason he even had his list of ifs was because he’d met Jaina.

  Jaina… Her image flashed in his mind.

  She was totally unlike the many other women who’d had a way of meandering in and out of his life, his ex-wife in particular. Miriam had been a spoiled “wanna-be rich” girl who was happiest aboard cruise ships, in Caribbean cabanas, on England’s shores. She wanted nothing but to live the good life, draped in furs, bangled in gold and jewels, boasting an address in horse country. How had she known, when they’d met at the tender age of seventeen, that Connor would be her ticket to a house full of expensive possessions and a well-stamped passport? It wasn’t until he asked her to prove her numerous singsonged “I love yous” by giving him the children she’d promised that he realized her words were nothing but lies, told to ensure a full travel itinerary. “Why don’t I want children with you?” she’d asked lightly. “It’s really quite simple. I don’t think you’d make a good father.”

  The answer hurt worse than any injury he’d suffered to date. What had made him believe that sooner or later, after he’d satisfied her hunger for trips and treats, she’d realize he was father material after all? Naiveté? Bullheadedness? Blatant stupidity?