Death By Christmas: Be Kind Or It May Kill You

by Dorian Scott Cole

  Chapter 4

  In the hospital parking lot, Fenrick's thoughts turned to his investor problems. He should talk to another investor. Bill Sanders had his own investment group. When he reached his car, he called.

  “Bill, hi, it’s Fenrick Appolon. I hope you are having a joyous holiday season,” Fenrick said merrily.

  Bill said suspiciously, “Hi, Fenrick. What’s up?” He had never in his entire life received a call out of the blue from Fenrick, not even a cheery holiday call.

  “I’m in a bit of a train wreck at the moment. It should clear up by January, so I’m just looking for advice.”

  “What kind of a ‘bit of a train wreck’ are we talking about?” Bill asked remorselessly.

  “Our main investment stock, an old standby, tanked. A competitor came out with a better product.”

  “Did you hear a death rattle?” he asked with a soul of ice.

  “They’re still breathing – they’re not going to die. They’ve been in business too long and they know what they’re doing.” Fenrick tried to sound confident, but his voice sounded weak instead of bullish.

  “Tech stock?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Tech stocks sink like an anchor.”

  “They could sell it.”

  “What investor in their right mind wants to sail a Titanic at the bottom of the ocean,” Bill said, his impatience very pointedly saying it was a lost cause.

  “I need some good advice”

  Bill chuckled. “Captain goes down with his ship.”

  Fenrick hung up without so much as a goodbye. Maybe another friend would help. No, he really didn’t have another friend. His friends were all just like him; he would throw them a lifeline only if it would save himself. He was going to have to tough it out until late January, maybe February.

  This stunk. Maybe he should just vacation in some remote part of South America where it was warm and leave his cell phone at home. Maybe he should just get stinking drunk and think about some place to go.

  It was all a bit much. It made his head ache. Investment problems, friends like himself, ex wives, kids, Christmas chaos, wrecks, uncooperative police, blood tests, demanding sisters, his imagination working overtime after seeing a kid dressed as a grim reaper.

  Josh Franklin. Embezzler. Maybe he knew a trick or two - just legal enough to stay out of trouble, but bold enough to save the day. Maybe Sledge could get them connected. And he was too shook up to drive anywhere. He turned to Sledge. "Josh Franklin."

  Sledge gave him a dubious look. "Consorting with known criminals is a well known path to the penitentiary."

  "It's what I do every day. I need a driver."

  "Money talks," Sledge replied. Fenrick agreed to pay him.

  QQQQQ

  On the way to Josh’s house, traipsing through a store in his elf costume, he picked up a gift basket of ham and another of fresh fruit to give to Josh. He had gotten accustomed to the costume. Given the season, few paid any attention to it. An hour later they were knocking on Josh Franklin's door.

  Josh answered the door, looked at Fenrick, and then at the gift baskets. “What’s this?” He glowered at Fenrick and the basket, as if he knew what gifts always meant, especially from a fair weather friend like Fenrick.

  “Josh, just a welcome back gift – an appropriate time – the holidays. And I could use some advice.” The moment was uncomfortable for both men.

  Fenrick looked beyond Josh at the apartment. Sparse, no fancy appointments, but warm and homey. Christmas decor. His wife sat on a couch, reading a Christmas story.

  “I’m broke. I spent all of my money on lawyers. They’re rich, I’m broke.”

  “I don’t want money. Look, I just want to talk,” Fenrick hated begging.

  Sledge remained standing behind Fenrick, a delighted smile on his face.

  Josh's anger overtook him. “You snubbed me in the department store! I know you saw me.”

  “I was in a big hurry, fending off an onslaught of kids, and candidly, somewhat out of my mind with worry," he lied. "Look, I have a big problem. Our main investment stock tanked and I have to fix it. I just thought maybe you could give me some pointers on something just this side of the law.”

  “Fenrick, you are a piece of work! You snub me - yes you did! And then you come to me to get advice on being crooked. Well, I’m not having any part of it. I’m done with that – it cost me too much.”

  Josh's four year old daughter came to the door and hugged her Daddy's leg. She looked up at Fenrick with her big eyes and pointed to him. "Santa's elf!"

  Josh started to say, No, but before he could get it out of his mouth, she stepped out to Fenrick and hugged his leg.

  Josh waved him in. He offered him a seat on a cloth easy chair, while he sat beside his wife on the sofa. Fenrick sat on the edge of his chair seat like a scared animal.

  “Josh, I don’t want advice on breaking the law. I just never learned how to… be… someone who can… make people see the magic.”

  “You just did it. You're wanting to do exactly what I did. I made things look like something else. I paid for that. There is no magic. It’s just dishonesty.”

  Josh looked at his child, who was sitting at a table with her coloring book, but transfixed by Fenrick. "Whitley, go in the other room and see if you can find... get Daddy a drink of water."

  Whitley ran in the other room, never taking her eyes off Fenrick until she disappeared.

  “Look at who you are becoming. Earlier you couldn’t even acknowledge me, and now you want to become like me?" He paused, letting that sink in. "Just take your loss, man!” Sledge nodded in the background, a big smile still on his face.

  There was no help here. Fenrick rose to leave. As he turned away, Josh slipped something from a drawer into his own pocket.

  Whitley rushed out from the kitchen, slopping a glass of water with each step, and wrapped herself around Fenrick's leg. She handed the water to her father. "Can I give my Santa letter to Mr. Elf, so he can give it to Santa?"

  Josh looked down at her, unable to answer. "Honey - "

  "Of course you can, dear!" Josh's wife interrupted. I'm sure Santa's elf would give it right to Santa. He's a very nice elf."

  Whitley ran to her coloring table, brought back an envelope, then gave it to Fenrick. Fenrick looked at her, the warm and comfortable home, the wife, the little girl. He was touched. He wanted - no, he probably didn't. It was just a warm, silly, Christmas story. Life was never really this way. He looked at the Whitley again, still expectantly holding up the letter. He took it from her. "I will give it right to Santa." She puckered up her lips for a kiss. Tentatively, clumsily, Fenrick bent down and let her kiss him on the cheek. The feeling he got made him very uncomfortable. He didn't like it. It would make you do weird things. Besides, real life is never this way. Real life is full of problems and hard feelings and separations.

  "Honey, off to bed now, so this elf can disappear," Josh said. Whitley slowly turned loose of him and ran to another room.

  Josh literally shoved Fenrick toward the door. He grabbed an apple from a bowl on a table near the door, and handed it to Fenrick. “Here, have an apple. The simple things in life don’t cost much, and you can learn to really enjoy them. Savor each moment. You learn in prison that each moment is more precious than gold.”

  Fenrick grudgingly reached for the apple as a sign of fraternity. Josh grabbed Fenrick's extended hand and slapped a handcuff onto his wrist. As Fenrick grabbed for the cuff with his other hand, Josh handcuffed his other wrist. "Merry Christmas, Fenrick! Study on those for a while, and don't ever talk to me about breaking the law again."

  As Fenrick headed for the door, Josh put his foot on his butt and gave him a shove. "And don't ever even talk to me again, you evil elf! Go to hell on that evil sleigh you rode in on."

  Fenrick rushed toward the car before the maniac inside could do anything else to him. With Sledge in the driver's seat, they pulled out. "Lock
smith," he ordered.

  He took his cell phone from the glove compartment and saw he had a message from Jessica: "Fenrick, there are no jobs that I can support my family with. I have a little life insurance. They are better off with me dead. Merry Christmas, you ass."

  Fenrick flew mad at the craziness of it. She had a lot of potential, she was just in the wrong place. He messaged her back saying that, then added, “I reject your bid for attention or revenge. But if you do, be sure and use a clean knife so you don’t get an infection. Many suicide attempts have complications that cost a lot of money.”

  Sledge had no idea what the message was. He was stewing about Fenrick going to Josh. He could see this ending badly. "Fenrick, you lost money. You got to own it. You had no way to know the stock would take a dive."

  Fenrick ignored Sledge. If she killed herself, then that was her fault, not his. Should I call 911? Nah. She wasn't serious. It was late afternoon, getting dark, and sleeting and snowing again, and the main route was flooded with holiday traffic – people trying to get home to see loved ones.

  Fenrick pointed Sledge to a side route he knew. They cut through a suburb and out onto another road. Traffic was light. He passed through a blighted zone that was being torn down for new construction.

  A half destroyed billboard was flapping in the wind. The top half said, “You make your own destiny.” The bottom half was gone. “I suppose that’s another damned message,” Fenrick said aloud to whatever spirit might be haunting him this Christmas Eve. "Save it for someone who cares."

  Sledge laughed. "Man, you got a big fall coming. You going down hard."

  The construction crowded out farther and farther into the street, and the lamp posts were mostly missing or burned out. They were turning a corner when suddenly he saw a grave ahead. "Look, out, look out!" He said to Sledge. There was an opening in the street with a tomb stone at the end of it, and a ladder sticking up out of it. Sledge slammed on his brakes and screeched to a halt. They stared at the empty hole as if it was meant for one of them.

  Finally Sledge eased forward and to the left so that he would miss it, and hurried around it. There was a rope around it for safety, and the tomb stone was actually a barricade and the back of a sign. They hadn't seen the sign at the other end from their angle, especially with the heavily falling snow. It was a construction excavation. It was all just an optical illusion. They breathed a sigh of relief and tried to relax.

  "Fenrick, you're gonna' get me believing the Grim Reaper is after both of us. What's going on with you?"

  At the next intersection, the Grim Reaper again greeted them. "That's not the Grim Reaper, he's a cop." Fenrick advised. Sledge gave him a wide birth. The cop gave them an eerie smile as he waved him past.

  Within another two blocks, they began to pass a grave yard. The graves made Fenrick uneasy, and he began to get very nervous. "Hurry up, get around this damn grave yard!" Sledge sped up. He didn’t see the intersection ahead, and realized his mistake just in time to see a truck headed right for them.

  This was it. He had been given his warnings and now it was all over. He was going to die in an elf costume. Anyone who dies in an elf costume surely goes straight to hell.

  The truck hit their car broadside on the passenger side, throwing Fenrick wildly around in the car as much as the seat belts and bags would allow. When the car came to a stop, he felt no pain, he was conscious, and he could move his arms and legs. He looked around. He was OK.

  "You OK, Sledge?"

  "I'm fine."

  "Did you get your driver's license in prison, too?"

  "You didn't see the truck either! You didn't even scream or hollar!"

  Sledge got out of the car and saw the truck driver had gotten out of the truck. “You OK?” he asked the truck driver.

  “Yeah, you can’t hurt a big truck. Are you OK?” The driver acted very concerned.

  “Yeah, yeah, man, I’m sorry. The construction here and the snow fall got us all confused and I didn’t know this was an intersection.”

  “Merry Christmas, you get a new car. That one’s a 'gonner.” The truck driver smiled.

  A different police crew showed up, but the tow truck driver, Jim, was the same driver as last time. He looked in the car window at Fenrick. Fenrick kept his wrists and cuffs hidden.

  "Unbelievable! You just survived a broadside with a big truck. You're the luckiest man alive. Hey, where do you want to be buried? Next time has got to be it, I'll just send a coroner and a hearse. You got friends who want to dance on your grave? Now's the time to invite them - just give me an invitation list." The driver looked at his elf costume. "I see you're already dressed for the party. Very seasonal of you. If you really are Santa's Elf, don't come to my house. You're a gonner' and I don't want my family exposed to the mess.”

  Fenrick wasn't amused at his comedy, and strained to think of something smart to say back, but he finally laughed at this despite himself. “You know, it might be safer if I just walk.”

  "A piano will fall out of the sky! I'm telling you, get your affairs in order, the Grim Reaper won't miss again."

  QQQQQ

  Eventually Sledge got them another rental car. As they pulled out, Fenrick suddenly shouted. "I forgot. I have to get to the airport. I'm leaving for Cancun. I have to get out of here just in case Jessica kills herself!"

  "What?!" Sledge asked.

  Fenrick checked his watch. "I'm due at the airport in an hour. Airport! Hurry up!"

  Sledge slammed on the brakes. "What are you talking about, Jessica killing herself?!"

  "She sent me a message saying everyone would be better off if she wasn't here."

  Sledge couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Then we got to stop her, you ass. It's your fault for firing her. Cancun can wait."

  Fenrick folded his arms in front of him and sat back in his seat. He said obstinately, "Oh, she won't do it. It's revenge talk and a bid to get her job back."

  "How you know that, man? You some kind of psychic?"

  "She just wants to get back at me."

  "What if she can't find a job? She's supporting her family."

  "That's what I pay unemployment insurance and welfare for."

  "You ever try to live on that? You're an entitled piece of crap." Sledge asked incredulously.

  Fenrick gave him a scathing look. "I earn my way," he said indignantly. "I have a business and I earn every penny."

  "You can't live on unemployment and welfare. You lose your home, your health insurance, your car, everything. She and her family could be living on the street in a month."

  "She will get re-employed right away. She's good at what she does. I don't owe her a job!" Fenrick had no emotion in his voice or his spirit about any of it. It was business. Cut and dry, just like breaking a law and going to prison. It's the way it is.

  "You don't know nothin' about gettin' a job. They don't grow on trees. Anyway, if she's so good, then why are you firing her?"

  "Because... because I need someone else in the office."

  "Like who?"

  "She's just not - well, she isn't attractive." He knew it sounded lame as soon as it came out of his mouth.

  "Looks don't do a job, man. She's really good. That office can't run without her."

  Fenrick sighed. "Look, the business needs to attract customers and make a good profit. At the front of the office, these young law breakers need to see an attractive face to get them to come here."

  "Are you completely nuts?! These young guys just want any hint that someone can keep them out of jail. Now you go tell Jessica she's not fired! Right now!"

  Fenrick dug in his heels and said with determination. "No. Decision's made. Can't go back on it."

  Sledge blew a gasket. "Why you - " He angrily yanked the steering wheel in and out like he was trying to break it.

  "It's your rental. Go ahead and take your anger out on it. You'll pay."

  "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah," Sledge screamed, turned to Fenrick, then tri
ed to strangle him. Fenrick managed to get his neck out of the way and leaned down into the seat. Sledge's seat belt prevented him from moving, or Fenrick might have met the Grim Reaper right then.

  "Careful, you big ass. Those charges can still be brought against you!" Sledge was definitely wearing down his courtroom demeanor. He couldn't take much more of this.

  Sledge jerked back and forth in the seat, full of frustration. "What kind of jerk are you? You fire a good worker with a family to support right before Christmas because her looks don't attract young men. And they do, cause young men are so horny they're blind. And it don't make no difference anyway. You're a jerk! Jerk... jerk... jerk! There aren't any words in the language bad enough to describe you. I think I should do the world a favor and just kill you!"

  Fenrick seethed inside, and the big man intimidated him, but he spoke patiently, "Take me to the airport. Long term parking, before you do something you will regret."

  Sledge jerked the steering wheel several more times, then still in a rage, put the car in gear and raced out of there.

  Fenrick sat up and looked. "Wrong direction!"

  "I gotta' end you! There ain't going to be no airport!"

  Sledge drove around aimlessly for several minutes, trying to figure out what to do with Fenrick. Fenrick was quiet. He didn't want to speak and aggravate the situation. Sledge cooled off some, saw a sign for a route to the airport, and followed it. Fenrick breathed a sigh of relief. Sledge entered the airport parking lot and found a place to park, then jerked to a stop.

  "Fenrick, I got no idea what to do with you. The devil needs to throw you a welcome aboard party. I'm really glad you fired me. Bad as I am, I ain't nearly bad as you."

  Fenrick held up the handcuffs. "Party handcuffs," he said with contempt. "Got a release on the side." He got out of the car.

  Sledge got out also, and the two walked toward the bus pickup. "Tell me you learned something from those handcuffs. How would you like to spend time behind bars?"

  "I am too smart for that. People may not like what I do, but it's legal and I make money."

  Once again, Sledge fumed. "Money! All about money! Death is too good for you. You need to suffer like the rest of us."

  "Oh, yeah!" Fenrick dangled the handcuffs in front of Sledge. "Smart trumps law."

  Sledge shoved him hard, and Fenrick stumbled and went down. "Stop, Sledge. I've been kind to you, but that can change." Fenrick was scared, but he wouldn't show it.

  Sledge picked him up and shook him like a rag doll. "What's it gonna' take to make you see the light?"

  Now Fenrick was really scared. "Just take it easy." With controlled calm he slowly said, "I'm going to get on a plane and you won't have to ever see me again?"

  "What about Jessica?! You can't just walk away?!"

  "She doesn't mean it. She'll cool off. Besides, it isn't my problem."

  Sledge shook him hard again, and threw him ten feet. Fenrick landed hard on his side. "Not your problem? Someone is going to kill themselves, and you could stop it, but it's not your problem?! You're gonna' die!"

  Fenrick tried to crawl away, but was too slow. Sledge landed on him and gave him a few punches to the ribs. Fenrick groaned. Sledge suddenly stopped.

  "No, not die. You're gonna' go see Jessica right now! What you say is up to you. But remember your life is in my hands."

  Sledge pulled him upright and looked around for some way to secure him. He spotted a roped off area around some construction. He took the rope and began to tie up Fenrick, his hands bound behind him, his legs bound, a rope around his chest, with another rope going from where the chest rope crossed his back to the one binding his legs, making a convenient handle. Hogtied. Sledge jerked him upright. "Now move! We gonna' go see Jessica and make this right."

  Sledge shoved him forward and he had to hop to stay upright. At the car, Sledge had just thrown him into the seat when blue lights began to flash, and a siren sounded almost on top of them. The cop turned his headlights on. He said through his speaker, "Put your hands behind you and back away from the car." Sledge backed away. "Don't turn around. Keep your hands behind you." Sledge obeyed perfectly, accustomed to this treatment.

  The cop exited his car and walked to Sledge, and put cuffs on him. "What were you doing?"

  "I was just teaching discipline, officer. Nothing unusual. You see the elf costume and the hogtie? Discipline. You understand."

  "Oh, you're one of those. Stand right here." The cop walked to the car and Fenrick. "Are you OK, Sir?"

  "Yeah, I'm fine, considering."

  "What is your safe word, Sir?"

  "Uh, poinsettias."

  The cop looked at the two of them. "OK, sorry to disturb you. Play safe, now - that looked really rough on camera." He undid Sledge's handcuffs, then said. "Hey, uh, is there a way I can get in?"

  Sledge smiled and said, "You like being disciplined by big men?"

  "Oh, yeah."

  "Well this group is for the legal profession. So it's kind of exclusive."

  "I've heard they are brutal. Just this side of legal... or worse" He gave them a big smile, then returned to his car.

  Fenrick looked to Sledge, pleadingly. "I got you out of trouble. You can turn me loose now so I can get my plane. I won't file charges. Just let me get out of here."

  "Nope. You're gonna' go see Jessica. She's a lot more important than that plane."