I turn the pot of water on to boil, throw the onion, mushroom, garlic and parsley in the frying pan with a touch of olive oil to slowly sauté, before locating two wine glasses. I think back briefly to the day I moved in here and the box of kitchen stuff Dad gave me; with two wine glasses “just in case”. I smile at the thought and pour non-alcoholic wine into one glass and the red shiraz into the other.
As I step into the bathroom and take a second to absorb her naked beauty, she opens her eyes and smiles up at me. ‘Are you going to join me?’
This is a test my mind warns. A test to see if I’m planning to take advantage of her. To see if I’m trying to romance her into bed.
‘Nope, I’m good.’ I smile back at her.
She eyes me suspiciously. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yeah. I thought we could just talk.’ I hand her the glass of wine, pull the lid down on the toilet and take a seat.
‘Talk? You sound so serious.’ She lifts the glass to her nose and takes a deep breath. ‘Non-alcoholic wine – you’ve thought of everything.’
‘I think so. I tried, anyway.’
‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome,’ I raise my glass to her. ‘Cheers, big ears,’ I add.
She lets out a laugh and replies, ‘Cheers,’ before taking a delicate sip. ‘Mmmm that’s quite nice.’
‘Mine is alcoholic – I need it,’ I admit.
‘You deserve it. You must have had a busy day – the house looks lovely, and dinner smells good—’
‘Oh, shit! I’d better check the onions!’ I run out to the kitchen to find the pan of onions and mushroom simmering nicely, but I turn the pan off to ensure it won’t burn. The water has boiled, so it’s all ready for me to throw together when Abbie is ready to eat. The salad is chilling in the fridge and I throw the garlic bread into the oven for twenty minutes, turning on the timer. It’s all running like clockwork; which makes me feel a little uneasy, to be honest – things haven’t exactly gone to plan for me over the last few months.
As I turn around to make my way back to Abbie, I come face to face with her. She’s wearing her white cotton nighty and holding our wine glasses; her curls frame her perfect face and her green eyes dance with amusement.
‘It’s been a while since I’ve had the privilege of seeing you in the kitchen wearing only a pair of jeans; very hot, might I add,’ she says, placing the glasses on the table. She steps toward me and my heart leaps for my throat.
I let her wrap her arms around me and I desperately want to have my way with her, but I won’t. I told her I’m going to behave and I intend to stick to my decision.
She smells like a Bali holiday – or at least, what I imagine a Bali holiday might smell like; all coconut and frangipanis. I take a deep breath and move away from her.
‘You’re teasing me!’ I shake my head and grin.
She grins back. ‘Is it working?’
‘No, not really,’ I lie.
‘Ha! Yes, it is,’ she laughs.
‘Okay, yeah, but I can handle you.’ I take her hand and lead her to the table, pulling out a chair and placing her wine glass in front of her. ‘You watch this master in action and then we’ll eat.’
Placing the tortellini into the boiling water, I turn the heat back on for the onion mix and add a teaspoon of whole mustard seeds, some double cream and a generous hand full of shaved parmesan. I add some baby spinach and salt and pepper – done. After draining the tortellini, I return them to the pot and stir through the cheesy sauce. It smells great and looks pretty damn good.
I can sense Abbie watching me and it takes every ounce of strength I have, not to take her right there on the kitchen bench.
‘Dinner is ready!’ I place our plates on the table, the cutlery, salad and garlic bread, before refilling our wine glasses and scooping some tortellini onto our plates. I’m, impressed, I just hope Abbie is.
∞~∞~∞~∞
With dinner finished and the dishes done, we snuggle on the couch listening to some soft tunes. I am so tempted by her, but I hold out. I will prove to her that not all men are out for one thing – well, not all the time, anyway.
‘Oh, I forgot to ask you, did you find out if we can have Tyler tomorrow?’ she says.
‘Oh, yeah. Umm, I’ll pick him up at nine and we’ll take him home around four.’
She turns her face up to me, gifting me with a wide smile. ‘That’s great news!’
‘Yeah, Jacquie didn’t take too much convincing. I think she likes to rub in that fact that I’ve been a bit unreliable lately.’
‘Did you tell her we’re back together?’
‘She guessed, but yeah.’
‘And?’ Abbie demands more information by raising her eyebrows.
I oblige. ‘She said I’d better not stuff up this time, because Tyler suffers too.’
‘Oh, I guess she’s right there.’
I’m not offended by her reply at all; it’s true. ‘Probably, but it’s none of her business, anyway.’
Abbie sighs. ‘Yeah, not really.’
I sit up a bit and take a gulp of my wine; time to change the subject. ‘Anyway, how’s Zane?’
Chapter 8
Abbie’s face lights up when she says, ‘Oh, he’s excellent. The doctors are really happy with his progress and he’ll start rehab almost immediately.’
‘Wow, that’s great. Did Jed get a chance to visit with him again?’
She clasps her hands together under her chin and replies, ‘Yes! Oh, it was so romantic.’ She snuggles into my side and looks at me with a dreamy gaze. ‘I took the chance to go in with him after Jane convinced Mr. and Mrs. Williams to go for a break. Zane sobbed, a lot, but he was so happy to see Jed again. Then the police interrupted their visit for a few minutes, to question Zane.’
‘Oh, really? Did he remember much of what happened?’
‘Nothing, really. Just that he recalls a group of guys surrounding him as he walked over to his car. He was waiting for Jed to finish his shift and felt a headache coming on. He went out to his car to grab some painkillers.’
‘Did he give the cops a good description?’
‘Not really, just that they were mid-twenties and of Asian appearance – it was dark too, which doesn’t help.’
‘Hmmm, well, I hope they find them.’
‘Me too. He wants to see you, by the way.’
‘Me? Why?’
‘To thank you.’
‘I didn’t do much.’
‘You saved his life, Valentine. That’s pretty significant.’
‘I just did what anyone else would do.’
‘Maybe. Maybe not,’ she sighs. ‘He still wants to say thank you. And you’ll have to meet now, anyway – Jed, Sam, Zane and Patrick will all be at our wedding.’
‘Ha! Yeah. Okay – looks like we can start planning the big day now?’
‘Definitely!’ she snuggles into me and I kiss the top of her head.
‘Are you ready for bed yet?’
‘No hands?’
‘No hands. Just cuddle and sleep.’
‘Yep,’ she agrees.
I think I sense a slight tone of disappointment in her voice, but I won’t push.
∞~∞~∞~∞
‘Princess, Abbie!’ Tyler shouts and pushes past me when I open the front door. He rushes through the house like a whirlwind.
‘Tyler!’ I hear Abbie shout from up the hallway and then there’s silence.
As I make my way through to Tyler’s room to put his bag down, I find the two of them curled up on the chair in the baby’s room.
‘I’m so excited you came today,’ Abbie says to him, poking him in the ribs and making him squirm.
‘Are you staying now?’ He breathes the question out between giggles.
Abbie looks up at me and I nod. I know she’s dying to tell him.
‘Yes. I’m definitely staying. And I’ve got someone else with me.’
‘Really? A puppy?’ His eyes widen with excitement.
‘Better than a puppy.’ She pokes him again, eliciting another round of giggles. ‘I have a baby in my tummy.’
Tyler moves back and stares down at Abbie’s stomach. ‘Really? Does it hurt?’
‘Nope, it feels very warm and comfortable.’ She takes his hand and places it over her belly button. ‘She’s been moving around quite a bit this morning, so I think she’s very excited to meet you.’
‘Wow… there’s a girl in there?’
‘Your little sister.’
Tyler’s face brightens and he turns to me. ‘Dad, we’re having a little sister come to live with us!’
I can’t wipe the grin from my face. ‘I know. You happy about that?’
‘Yeah!’
‘Well good, because being a big brother is a very important job.’
‘I can do it,’ he says, sliding off Abbie’s lap. ‘I’ll teach her all about football, and drawing and riding a bike.’
‘Good start, champ – now, do you want to come and help me decide on what suits we’re wearing for the wedding.’
‘Wedding? Are you two getting married?’
‘Of course we are! You don’t think I’d let Princess Abbie have our baby and not marry her?’
‘Oh, right, Princesses have to get married.’
‘Yes they do.’ I wink at Abbie and lead Tyler out to the kitchen table where Abbie has left some wedding magazines. We’ll do boy stuff after we pick the right suits.
‘Dad?’ Tyler looks up at me as he climbs onto his chair and pulls a magazine toward himself.
‘Yeah.’
‘How come you didn’t marry Mum when I was in her belly?’
Oh shit! This takes me by surprise – but I should’ve known it would come up.
‘Well, I was pretty young and stupid. Well, I was stupid, anyway.’
‘Oh.’ He seems happy with that. ‘Yeah, Mum always says you can be pretty stupid.’
‘Oh, she does, does she?’ I can’t help but grin.
Tyler grins up at me. ‘Yeah, quite a lot actually.’
‘Yeah, she’s probably right. We don’t agree on much, but I’d have to agree with her on that.’
‘I don’t think you’re stupid.’ He says it in such a matter-of-fact manner, I almost start to laugh, but I hold it in – I don’t think he’s joking.
‘I don’t want to stuff things up this time – so you’ll have to make sure I don’t do anything stupid.’
‘Okay. Well, you’d better get the suit Abbie wants, even though they don’t look very comfortable,’ he laughs, as he holds up a picture of a guy wearing a suit which resembles something out of that Gone with the Wind movie Abbie likes so much.
‘I have an awful feeling that’s exactly what she wants us in.’ I pull a face and we both start to laugh.
It feels good hanging out with Tyler. He’s so… I don’t know, smarter than I was at that age. And so accepting, of everything and everyone. I think it’s a good way to be.
We throw the footy around after lunch while Abbie hangs out washing and looks thorough wedding magazines – it’s a perfect day, hopefully one of many more to come.
When I leave to drop Tyler off at home, Abbie tells him he’ll have his room set up by next weekend, and he can come over any time he wants. He just needs to call and she’ll make sure he’ll be picked up. I watch on, exceedingly grateful to have her back in my life. She’s everything I need, but I’m not sure she’s what I deserve.
Opening the front door on my return, I find her sitting on the couch in tears. My heart starts to pound instantly, that heavy, erratic pounding you experience when you start to panic about something. In this case, I’m panicked about Abbie. What’s happened? I hope it isn’t Zane.
‘What’s wrong?’ I ask, throwing the keys haphazardly onto the sideboard. Confused, I glance at the television, but no, she’s not watching a sad movie or show or anything.
‘Hannah’s mum passed away this afternoon.’ Her voice is small and shaky when she speaks.
My gut tightens. I go to her and wrap her up in my arms wanting to take her pain away. I have the sudden realisation that I’ll never be able to protect her heart from grief and this knowledge kills me.
‘What can I do?’ I ask quietly.
‘Nothing.’ She takes a deep breath, trying to regain some composure, but her eyes are still brimming with tears. ‘I need to go to Hannah’s – I’m her best friend and she needs me.’
‘Okay, I’ll take you over there now.’
‘No, I’ve called Sam. You need to work tomorrow, and you’ve had no time to rest lately.’
‘Neither have you,’ I retort, feeling a bit annoyed. Not with Abbie, and I’m not angry; just annoyed that I have to work and be away from her for any period of time. Being back together is so new, and it feels as if we’re constantly trying to cram small pockets of time together around circumstances which are out of our control right now. I’m beginning to wonder if things will ever settle down to ‘normal’ and we can live our lives together the way I want to. I push down against the agitation that rises in my chest, the anxiety of knowing we’re going to be apart again, even if it’s only for a little while.
‘It’s okay. I’ll just sit with Hannah. That’s all she needs right now – just a hug from a friend – I can manage that.’
Headlights beam in through the lounge window as a car pulls into the driveway.
‘Sam’s here,’ she says, getting up from the couch.
I stand with her and we embrace tightly before I walk her to the door. She picks up an overnight bag I assume she must have packed earlier, and turns to give me a long kiss.
‘I love you,’ she says.
‘I love you, infinity.’
Chapter 9
I fall into bed, preparing to spend the night without Abbie and try hard to find the Sandman. I toss and turn, finding sleep elusive. The same thought keeps repeating in my head, like a fucking mantra.
I’m not good with hospitals, and even worse with funerals.
I remember The Morning After Losing Dillan like it was yesterday. I recall opening my eyes and staring at the ceiling; my heart still racing. Swallowing the lump in my throat and feeling the sting where the salty tears had dried against my skin. The world was suddenly and painfully silent – my world, anyway. There was no colour, no noise, no Dillan.
I waited.
Waited for him to make a noise. A cough. A burp. A snide remark about how Katie Fischer would scream if she ever saw me first thing in the morning.
I waited for him.
But he didn’t come.
All I had was a big black hole in my chest.
Eventually – after the funeral – the noise came. Dillan came. With shattering glass, screaming people, flashing lights, sirens and car horns; all at once. An avalanche of noise. Especially at night, alone in my bed. I found myself wanting these moments, just to see him. To see if I could fix it. To tell him I was sorry.
Eventually Mum’s crying grew quiet and Dad’s movements slowed. They adjusted to just having me and we all accepted that staying in Ireland was going to be too hard for any of us to deal with.
The noise had returned, but not the colour. Even after moving half way around the world. There was nothing that would change the grey. I found alcohol and drugs took me back to Dillan with a renewed vision; clear and confronting – and I liked it. I needed it.
My world stayed grey – even after Tyler was born – I felt so… fuck! I don’t know – lost? Broken? Guilty? I’d acted stupidly, had some drug-fuelled fun with Jacquie; with no intension of being responsible. Then suddenly we were having a baby. A little person who was going to depend on me. And I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t dependable. I was an idiot.
When Tyler was born, Mum and Dad were devoted grandparents. I saw their faces – how they beamed for the first time in years – and I felt like I’d maybe done something right, for a change. And although I wasn’t going to play “Husband” I knew I could play “Dad”.
/>
In time, the colour spectrum shifted from grey to blue.
Now Abbie has come into my life, and she’s brought a whole damn rainbow of colour with her, and I’m beginning to feel Dillan slipping away.
∞~∞~∞~∞
Monday morning and work isn’t too bad. I sell a car to a Japanese couple who are due to have their first baby, and after discussions of dirty nappies, restless sleeps and teething, I talk them into a Toyota Camry sedan and make some commission.
By six o’clock I’m taking the blue lifts up to Zane’s room, excited to see Abbie and tell her my news. As I step from the lift I find her standing in the corridor, releasing a tall, dark-haired guy from what I assume was a hug and I stop dead in my tracks. Who the fuck is this?
I wait a minute and size him up. He looks like he’s just stepped off the set of The Bold and the Beautiful, with a white doctor’s coat and stethoscope draped around his broad shoulders.
Abbie turns from him and immediately spots me. She beams and starts walking toward me in a half-run; clearly happy to see me. I relax. I’ll try and reign in my stupid jealousy – it’s not necessary.
‘Valentine!’ she shouts, as she jumps into my arms and squeezes me. ‘I missed you.’ She says it simply, but the words have so many layers of emotion to them.
‘I missed you, too.’
‘Zane’s just being bathed, but we can go in soon.’ She lets go of me and stands back, taking my hand and leading me toward the seating area. ‘How was your day?’ she adds.
‘Pretty good. I sold a car.’
‘Oh, wow, good on you.’ She turns to sit on my lap as I take a seat.’ I was worried you’d be really tired…’
‘Yeah, I was – I am – but it was busy.’ I look up the corridor to see where that guy had gone. ‘Who was that?’
‘Oh, that was Christian, an old friend from school.’ She waves her hand dismissively, as though he doesn’t matter to her at all. ‘He’s working here now – as a registrar – and we bumped into each other in the lift.’
‘From school? Like a boyfriend kind of friend?’
Absolution (The Infinity Series Book 2) Page 6
