by Kitty Parker
Chapter 14
"Klara!" Jack called as he walked through the small front door. He pulled off his light weight jacket and dropped his knapsack in the foyer before wandering through the small house to find her. She was in the parlor, wrapped in an afghan, her hair a wild mess, a full cup of tea on the coffee table in front of her. At least she made herself a cup of tea today. He said to himself with a sigh before entering the parlor. "Klara?"
Klara turned to look at him, her face expressionless, dark circles covering her usually bright eyes. It had been a month since Grandmere had passed away and Klara wasn't recovering. She sat every day on the couch in the parlor until Jack got home from work, at that point, she moved to the kitchen, waiting for Jack to make dinner. Not that she ate the dinner, he could barely get her to take two bites of anything he made. Her clothes hung off of her body, she was becoming more petite by the day.
"How was your day?" he asked, sitting beside her on the couch.
"Fine."
"What did you do?"
"I took a nap, made myself some tea and started to read a book." she said, motioning to the open book beside her. Jack glanced at it, noticing that she had only gotten as far as page five. Klara stared at him, somber and without emotion.
"You didn't drink your tea..." he said, half smiling at her.
"Oh, I guess I forgot about it."
"Alright, well, how about I make some more, and then some dinner?"
"Okay." she sighed, playing with a fraying string on the afghan.
"How about some soup and bread?"
"Fine." she answered simply.
"Would you like to help me make it? I still remember that creamy onion soup you made for me the first day we were married, we haven't had that in a while, but I don't know how to make it."
"I don't feel like cooking, but I can tell you how to make it, I'll go to the kitchen with you."
"Sounds perfect."
Klara rose slowly from the couch and followed Jack to the kitchen. She crumpled into one of the chairs in the kitchen, head in her hands. First, Jack worked on her tea, letting the leaves sit in the hot water for five minutes then adding cream and sugar, just the way she liked it. He set the cup in front of her and watched as she took a tentative sip of the hot liquid. After she had taken a few sips, he set to work on the soup, carefully following all of her instructions.
The soup was easy enough to make, and even in her weariness she gave excellent instructions. Klara had given up her tears about a week ago, which was a relief to both Klara and Jack, she was finally sleeping through the night, as far as Jack could tell. In the weeks right after Grandmere's death, Klara spent most of her days sobbing, instead of staring blankly into space. The house had become quiet and grey, with neither Klara, nor Grandmere's bright spirits to brighten it.
When the soup was finished, he served Klara a large bowl with a hunk of the freshest bread he could find, then gave himself an equal amount. He watched as her eyes danced over the surface of her bowl, and willed her to take a bite, waiting for her to bring the large spoon to her mouth. When she did, he felt a small triumph, and continued to watch her as he ate his own soup. She ate the entire bowl full, scraping the bottom with the bread, soaking up every last drop of the soup.
"I should have tried this soup a while ago." he laughed, taking her empty bowl and his own to the sink.
"It was very good, thank you." she said quietly,
"It's beautiful outside today, I thought maybe you'd like to take a walk through town? It's been a while since you've been outside."
"I...I'm not sure I feel up to it."
"Come on, please? It'd be nice to get out, even if it's just for a half an hour, I think it'd be good for you." he pleaded, wanting to push her as far as he could, hoping it would help.
"Very well, but, will you give me a moment to get..." she looked down at herself, pulling at her dark, greasy hair, "presentable?"
"Of course, I'll just clean up the kitchen while you get ready, unless you want to come back and do the dishes." he smiled.
"I'll just clean up myself, and then we'll go, is that ok?" she asked, pulling herself up from the chair.
"Perfectly fine." He bit back a sarcastic remark, not knowing whether it would make her laugh, or change her mind. He set right to washing up, he took his time, figuring it would take Klara more than ten minutes to wash off the grime of two weeks or more. Honestly, he couldn't remember the last time she had showered. He couldn't believe he had gotten her to eat, and would get her to go out all in the same day.
Klara was ready quicker than he expected. Her hair was still wet, and she had put on a pair of trousers and an oversized sweater. It was obvious that she wasn't trying to impress anyone, but knew she needed to get out as much as Jack did. She had dabbed a little blush on her cheeks, and was impatiently waiting for Jack.
"Sorry, I didn't think you'd be ready quite so soon." Jack smiled, slipping back into his jacket. "Shall we?"
Klara gave a quick, shy nod, and Jack offered his arm, which she took, entwining her hand with his. Jack smiled and overlapped his hand on hers, even if she was grieving, they both knew they had to look very much in love in public. Truth was, Jack was happy to have her close, he had missed the intimacy they had shared before the tragedy. The trees were just beginning to blossom, March and April had been cold months, but May was proving to bring out the spring weather. Their shoes clicked along the cobblestone streets as they walked slowly, silently. Jack listened to Klara's shallow breaths, afraid she was about to burst into tears.
Not knowing what to do, he remained silent, tightening his grip on her arm, leading her down a quiet alley. They eventually found themselves outside a local bakery, Jack insisted they go in and buy some fresh bread and something sweet. Klara picked something for both of them, as Jack found it difficult to choose from the variety before him. They ate them on the way home, Klara shamelessly licking the filling from her fingers when she finished. With nothing else to occupy her mind, Klara sighed, and became restless again.
Jack turned toward their home, they were but two houses away when Klara began to talk. "She would always pretend we were on our way to a castle when we walked home this way. 'It's just there at the top of the hill, and your handsome prince could be waiting there for you my love, mine is.' she would say. I would always cringe and wrinkle my nose, thinking it ridiculous that she talk of my Grandpere in such a way. To me, they had always been together, always been in love, always been married. It was only when I was older that she told me the true story of their love. My summers here were amongst my happiest times. In England, I was always left out, the strange girl that loved to read and hum, but here, here, Grandmere allowed me to do whatever I wanted. She nurtured me, cared for me, encouraged my imagination and personality, when others only sought to stifle it."
"I realize I only knew her for a short time, but she seemed absolutely wonderful." Jack whispered, unlocking the front door and opening it for Klara.
"Absolutely everything reminds me of her. The couch where she used to read to me from her books. The tea kettle that was always filled with water, and always on the stove. I swear I never found it empty, and never saw her fill it, I have absolutely no idea when she did. Her room still smells like her, I go in every day and I just sit, I crank her music box and open it, and I sit until it stops playing. When I was really scared, she'd bring it into my room, and crank it, telling me that the music would scare anything away, because it was too beautiful for anything ugly enough to want to harm me." Klara leaned into Jack, letting her head fall against his chest. "I just wish I could have called the doctor, if I had just called the doctor, she might have been alright, she might still be here."
Jack picked up Klara's face, and forced her eyes on his. "It was not your fault, there was nothing, nothing you could do. You've got to stop blaming yourself, you have to let it go, you have to move on. A doctor wouldn't have been able to do anything."
Klara blinked, heavy tears falling d
own her cheeks. She let her head fall, her forehead leaning against Jacks. "I just want to forget, just for a half an hour. Maybe if I could forget, just for a few minutes..." she sighed.
She leaned closer to Jack, gripping onto his jacket, she pressed her lips against his. He was startled, and looked at her wide eyed as she kissed him. Her eyes were firmly shut, and she continued her kiss, deepened it, tantalizing him with her tongue, running it against his lips. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to fall into the embrace, grasping at Klara, pulling her closer still. He lead her into the parlor, sitting her on the couch as he continued to kiss her, amazed that she had come so far in one night.
He was working his hand through her hair when she let out a small whimper, turning her head away from his. He stopped instantly and looked down at her, but she didn't allow for it and grasped his own hair, pulling is face back toward hers. Her lips ran down his jaw, dancing on his neck, then finding their way back to his mouth, pressing upon it the most desperate kiss. He was still lost in the world of touch, a touch that he had been depraved of this past month, when she began to pull at the buttons of his shirt.
Her advance was completely unexpected and he practically jumped backward on the couch. She didn't let him get far, pulling on his collar, begging him back to her. She crawled forward on the couch, his shy Klara no where to be found on her face. His confusion was enough to keep him in his seat. He shook his head, taking her hands off of his collar. "I just want to forget, please, help me forget, just for a little while. This will help me forget." she pleaded, running her hand down his arm.
Jack leapt from his seat, taking three steps backward, suddenly understanding her motivation. "No Klara, no."
"What?" she whimpered.
"I know you're upset, but, I won't let you do something you'll regret. Not like this." he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"If you don't like me you can just say so!" she screamed, jumping up from the couch with more emotion than he had witnessed in her in a month.
"No, that's not it..." he said softly, reaching for her hand.
"Oh please Jack! Not like this? What kind of a statement is that? You don't have to think I'm attractive, you don't even have to like me. Our marriage is one of convenience, I should have known you'd never change your mind about that. Just, just leave me alone!" she stormed from the room, her shoes pounding on the hard wood as she raced upstairs. After a minute, he heard the door slam to her room. He fell back onto the couch and let out a sigh, he didn't know which would be more difficult to deal with now, her grief about Grandmere or her delusion about what had just happened.
Chapter 15
Klara's chest heaved as she slammed the door behind her. "I should have known it was all just an act to him!" she thought, throwing herself onto her bed. She had never been so humiliated in her life! How had she been so stupid? She continued to steam in her bed, rolling over thoughts of how she had been wronged. It was with those thoughts that she fell asleep with, anger, not realizing that the grief that had gripped her had suddenly dissipated.
* * *
It had been two weeks and the effects of that night still resounded in Klara's attitude. She was no longer crying herself to sleep, or spending her days in a grief filled trance. Instead, she kept herself busy, she was always scrubbing or baking or running errands. When Jack was around, she huffed through the house, paying him little or no attention at all. She wouldn't even make him dinner, fixing single recipes, or meals for neighbors, and eating her part before he returned. The smell however, always lingered conveniently until he walked through the front door.
"Klara, I'm home." Jack announced as he walked into the house. She sighed at the sound of his voice, not understanding why he continued to try so hard. She had certainly not encouraged his friendship.
"Oh good, the drain in the kitchen sink is clogged, can you fix it?"
"Sure, can I have some dinner first?"
"There is bread in the box and cheese in the refrigerator, help yourself." she said, without emotion, not even turning to look at him. The stove was more clean than it had been in a long time, and yet she continued to scrub away at it while he stood there, unwilling to leave a single speck on it. She wasn't about to grant him the privilege of looking at him while she spoke. Quite frankly, she was sick of him asking for dinner, didn't he realize by now that she didn't care if he ate, or starved? She certainly wasn't his mother, and he had made it quite clear he didn't see her as anything resembling a real wife.
"It smells like you made something."
"I did, pork with potatoes and carrot casserole, I ate as I was cooking, and I took the rest to Mr. and Mrs. Stuart. He injured himself in the garden the other day and Mrs. Stuart has been so busy taking care of him, she hasn't had time to cook anything. You should see her, she's wasting away, the poor dear." she said, nonchalantly.
"She's wasting away? After not eating for a couple days? Klara, I'm wasting away and I live in your house! I haven't had a decent meal in three weeks! I'm glad you're helping the neighbors, but do you think it would be possible to save a small portion for me?" Frustration grounded his voice as he spoke, she could almost hear anger in his tone, but he managed to keep it in check, falling into a chair at the table, a hunk of stale bread in his hand.
"No, I really don't think so, there might not have been enough for them. Can't you eat at the barracks before you come home? I can't very well take a family dinner and not have it be enough." Klara sighed, impatient with his questions, and his presence.
"Don't you think that might hurt the image of our perfect little marriage for me to eat at the barracks every night?"
"They don't have to think it's perfect, they just have to think we're married." she spat over her shoulder. "I am quite sure that every marriage doesn't end in bliss like fairy tales would have you believe."
"Klara, I've tried to be patient, but I can't keep going like this! I'm glad you're eating again, I'm glad you're feeling better, truly, I am. And I know you're still angry with me for not wanting to...well, you know. But you have to believe me when I tell you that I was just trying to protect you. You don't want to be married to me forever, and if we had kept going, we both would have been...stuck." Jack said delicately. "And if I recall correctly, you want to be married in the fall, and you want to have children and be in love...in love with someone worthy of your affection, not someone that stole it in a heated moment of grief drowning reason."
Klara swung around, giant rubber gloves up to her elbows, her face beet red. She had been mad the night of the rejection, but now, she was furious! "You're right Jack! I certainly don't want to be married to you forever, in fact, I don't want to be married to you at all! Lets file for that annulment as soon as we can, and while we're waiting for that to go through, I want you out of my house!" she screamed.
"What about the runners?" he flamed, falling backward against his chair.
"I'm done with the runners. We haven't had any since Grandmere, and they're managing without us, and if it means being done with you, having you out of my life, then, I'm done with them!"
"But, I won't be here to protect you...you'll be all alone." he sighed, looking around at the big house.
"I'll be fine!"
"Fine like when the Major attacked you?" Jack fired back.
"I won't have any problems like that. Without a German officer in my house, I won't come into contact with other German officers! You were the reason for that little problem. Come to think of it, you've been the reason for most of my problems."
"You think they'll just leave you alone? A gorgeous single girl, living in a big house all by herself? This part of France is filled with German soldiers, soldiers that think they can do whatever they want without consequence. They rape girls without a second thought, believe me, I've heard groups of soldiers talk about it in passing. You will be in danger alone here."
"I'm not scared and I don't need you. Get out!"
"You are the most stubborn woman I have eve
r met, getting hot and bothered because of a misunderstanding! I'll go for now, but I'll be back on Monday to collect my things, we can talk about everything then. Grandmere trusted me to protect you, and I'll be back to do that. If you need me, I'll be at my parents." He grabbed his pack and his jacket and stomped out the door, slamming it as he left, a repeat of her own past performance.
Klara shook, fuming with anger after he left. She quickly tore off her gloves and placed the sponge in the still clogged sink. After a deep breath, she brewed herself a cup of tea and went into the parlor to read her book. It wasn't long before she began to hear the creaks and groans of the large house. With each new noise she jumped, afraid that a German soldier might come after one of them. If only Jack had kept his mouth shut before leaving, everything would have been fine.
When she finally decided it was time for bed, she checked each door twice to make sure it was locked securely. She even went outside to check the lock on the cellar door. Sure that each door was locked, she climbed the stairs to her bedroom and locked herself in. All of the blinds in her room were tightly fastened, and she climbed into bed, placing mounds of pillows around herself, confined in the center of her bed. Even with all of her preparations, it took more than four hours for her to fall asleep, and even then, it wasn't restful by any means.
* * *
"Jack?" His father opened the door, warm light pooling on the street in front of their picturesque house. "What are you doing here? Where's Klara?"
"She's the reason I'm here...we had a fight, can I stay here this weekend? She needs some space to cool off."
"Oh, well, I have some things to do this weekend, but your Maman will take good care of you, and your sisters will be glad to see you. Though, you'll have to explain to Emmaline why Klara isn't with you, she'll be distraught." he said, opening the door for him to enter. The house smelled wonderful, combinations of smells molding together to make him feel like he'd just come home after years of being away.
