The White Rabbit Chronicles

by Gena Showalter

  The scene faded and I floated away. I fought to stay, grabbing at walls, digging in my nails.

  “Ali, love, wake up.”

  Cole’s voice startled me, yanking me the rest of the way out, and I jolted upright with a gasp.

  Strong arms banded around me, tugging me back down, forcing me to lie against a warm, strong chest. Familiar. Cole’s chest. I sagged against him.

  “You were thrashing. You okay?” he asked, tracing his fingertips along the ridges of my spine.

  A tremor swept through me. “Nightmare.” For Helen and the little girl.

  Why was I seeing them in my dreams?

  “I happen to be a very good nightmare slayer,” Cole said. “Want to tell me about it?”

  Not even a little. “Where are we?” I asked. Moonlight spilled into a small room I didn’t recognize. There was a desk, a dresser and a bed. Wallpaper covered the walls in patches, and the dark shag carpet sported several bald spots.

  “We’re at River’s place,” he said gently. “Remember? He gave us a room for the night.”

  That was all well and good, but... “We trust him enough to stay?”

  “Right now, we don’t really have a choice. We need his help.”

  “And he needs ours,” I reminded us both.

  “Yes. In the morning, he and Milla are going with us to Ankh’s. We’ve seen their base of operation, and now they want to see ours.”

  First: Cole got to call River’s sister by her nickname, but I didn’t?

  That blew chunks!

  Second: River’s desire to see Mr. Ankh’s place would have been suspicious if not so understandable. I couldn’t fault him for it.

  “I can’t believe I fell asleep and missed the rest of the conversation,” I grumbled.

  “I can. You’ve been running on empty for too long. You needed rest.” He caressed my cheek, my jaw...my neck. Each stroke took him lower, until he was drawing a line in the center of my chest. “But you’re awake now,” he whispered huskily. “Clearly in need of a distraction.”

  Another tremor swept over me; this time, it sprang from a sweeter, hotter emotion. “You going to do something about that?”

  “Definitely.” He lowered his head, pressing his lips against mine.

  I opened, welcoming him, and his tongue played inside my mouth, rolling against mine, almost lazily, tasting me, adoring me. My arms wrapped around him of their own accord, drawing him more firmly against me. He maneuvered me to my back, giving me all of his weight. He was heavy, but there was something truly magnificent about having him pressed against me like this. He was my shield. I was safe from fear and regret and sorrow, pain. Nothing but pleasure could reach me here.

  He lifted his head to peer into my eyes. His lips were pink and kiss-swollen.

  “Don’t stop,” I implored.

  His thumbs traced the rise of my cheeks. “You are so beautiful.”

  When he looked at me like that, I felt it. I combed my fingers through his hair and, with the slightest bit of pressure, drew him back down. “Give me more.”

  Maybe he sensed my desperation. Maybe my plea had revved him from simmer to boil. But the tone of the kiss changed in a snap, and there was no longer anything lazy about it. He thrust his tongue with determined force, demanding a response, and I gave it, holding nothing back. As if I could. My blood heated, every inch of me tingling.

  He didn’t remove my shirt, just lifted it and bunched the material under my arms. Camilla hadn’t given me a bra, so I wasn’t wearing one.

  He pulled from the kiss. I whimpered with disappointment. Then he lowered his head and kissed the skin he’d bared. And it was...it was...so good. Lance after lance of pleasure shot through me. He used lips, teeth and tongue, and it wasn’t long before I was writhing on top of the mattress.

  “Cole,” I said on a moan. “You better...follow through....” Oh! Yes!

  “Will.”

  Finally!

  I clutched at his shoulders. “You’ll give me everything?” Had those breathless, pleading words really come from me?

  “Not everything.” His lids were heavy and hooded as his tortured gaze met mine. If he wanted me with the same fervency that I wanted him, his control was hanging on by the barest thread. “First time won’t be here. But I’ll give you more.”

  More. Yes. “Do it!”

  He dived in for another kiss to my lips. It was hard, and it was hot. It was a little wanton, and a lot dirty, and I loved every second of it. His hands were all over me...all over me. Everywhere I ached. He’d never touched me like this before.

  As I clutched at him and mumbled incoherently, arching against him, the connection I felt to him deepened, like I wasn’t just Ali Bell anymore, but now had Property of Cole Holland stamped on my soul. Like I wasn’t alone and would never be alone again. Like even if Cole and I were on different sides of the world, a part of him would always be with me.

  “Let me know when I hit the right—” he began.

  I gasped, my hips shooting off the bed.

  “—spot,” he finished.

  My mind was utterly taken over with bliss, my thoughts burning up before they could fully form. I was laboring for breath, sweating. Everything he made me feel...it was too much...what he was doing...it was too much but not enough...and...and...the pressure was building...and building...

  Then...

  Something broke inside me. Not just broke, but shattered. It was wonderful, glorious, but also life-changing, as if every part of me was laid bare. I was vulnerable in a way I’d never been before. Like this, I had no secrets. No barriers. No form of protection.

  Just Cole.

  The sense of connection...even deeper. Propelled to a new level. One I hadn’t even known I possessed. I realized I wasn’t just trusting Cole with my life, but with my future. To treasure me and not forsake me. To always be honest. To consider my feelings and well-being with every new decision.

  I was still panting, now dotted with perspiration from head to toe, but I didn’t care. I wanted to laugh. “That was amazing.”

  “Yes,” Cole groaned.

  Clearly, he wasn’t as happy as I was. His pupils were dilated, and tension tightened his features, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what the problem was. He needed to feel what I had just felt. Needed to...break.

  “Tell me what to do,” I said.

  His pupils widened, eclipsing nearly all of the violet. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” Oh, yes.

  Voice rough, he offered instruction. I obeyed, adding my own spin here and there.

  He gripped my hair, then the sheets. “Ali.” My name was nothing more than a luscious rasp.

  Even though this round wasn’t about me, I was just as affected. Just as connected to him. Knowing that he was feeling what I had felt, that I was the one responsible, the one making him feel that way, that he might just have a Property of Ali Bell stamped on every part of him, was sweet and heady.

  “Ali!”

  A roar this time.

  The perfect end.

  Afterward, we snuggled together on the bed, with my head resting on his chest. His heart raced.

  “Is it always like that?” I asked. We hadn’t gone all the way, but still. I’d check off this experience as close.

  “Being in love makes all the difference in the world.”

  I believed that. I also knew he hadn’t loved the other girls—hadn’t claimed to, ever. And yet, I was still jealous in a way I didn’t understand.

  “I know you know this, but I’ll repeat it,” he said, probably noticing the way I’d stiffened. “When we’re in bed together, there’s no one else with us. It’s just you and me. I’m not comparing you to anyone. How could I? No one could compare to you.”

&nb
sp; He plucked the thunder right out of my jealousy, and I didn’t know whether to be thrilled or ticked. Why not both? I tugged his nipple ring with my teeth.

  “For a big, tough guy, you’re kind of whipped,” I teased.

  “Are you complaining?” He twirled a lock of my hair around his finger. Habit, I supposed. “Because I haven’t forgotten I owe you a spanking.”

  I snorted and laughed at the same time, and the sound I made as a result was not pretty.

  Cole grinned. “I wish my mother was alive. She would have adored you.”

  A girl could hope. “She was a slayer,” I said, remembering what he’d once told me. She’d been attacked by a horde of zombies and bitten. The antidote hadn’t worked on her, and she’d later risen from her grave as a zombie.

  Later attacked Cole.

  Mr. Holland was forced to kill her—again.

  “Yeah, and a good one, too. But she was better at recruiting new members to the team. She was the one who brought in Veronica’s mom, a former Anima employee.”

  He had more history with Veronica than I’d realized. No wonder he and Juliana were so tight. They’d probably grown up together.

  Well, hello. The jealousy had returned.

  After everything he and I had just done, and shared, that shouldn’t have bugged me. Key word: shouldn’t.

  “How does that work? Trusting a former Anima employee?” I asked. “Didn’t your mom and dad fear she was there as a spy?”

  “At first. But she was in some kind of fugue state for a while, and that kind of thing can’t be easily faked. When she came out of it, her memory was gone, but she earned their loyalty by saving my mom’s life.”

  Yeah, but even that could have been a trick. A setup. Not that it had been, but yeah. “How did your parents react when you and Veronica started dating?”

  “By that time, my mom was already dead.”

  Duh! I should have known that. He’d been too young to date when she’d passed away. “I’m sorry.”

  “But she would have loved it,” he admitted softly, and I stiffened all over again. “Veronica’s mom wasn’t interested in her kids, so mine kind of took over their care for a while. Mom favored her.”

  Poor Veronica. Poor Juliana. I’d known they hadn’t had an easy childhood, but it seemed to get worse every time I heard about it. And yet, I couldn’t help but wonder—even as I yawned—if the relationship between the two women was Veronica’s “ace in the hole.”

  Cole kissed my forehead. “Go to sleep, love. Big day tomorrow.”

  “Not yet. Gotta show you something.” Yawning wider, I grabbed my phone—saw a million texts from Kat, and one from Nana, and made a mental note to contact them as I opened my photos. “I found this in Camilla’s room.” I decided not to mention Helen. Not yet. “Can you decipher it?”

  The stronger our spirits were, the easier the code opened up for us. Right now, he was stronger than me.

  He propped himself against the headboard, intently studying each photo. I sat up, too, enraptured by him. He could have been the poster child for concentration. Then...oh, good glory, then liquid silver spilled into his eyes, overshadowing the violet completely.

  More than windows. Mirrors. It was creepy.

  It was also freaking awesome.

  “‘At the right time, in the right place, the sacrifice of one will lead to the liberation of many,’” he read. “‘Be ready. You have to be ready. Soon. She’s coming soon. Be ready.’” He paused. “Those words are repeated again and again.”

  Prickles of dread, like thousands of needles in my skin. The journal I’d read had been written in past tense, yet this one spoke of the future. Who had written it? And how had the author known what would happen? A slayer ability? Like, say, a vision?

  “Who is she?” I asked, thinking out loud. “This one to be sacrificed?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Maybe...” When I yawned a third time, Cole brushed his fingertips over my eyes, forcing them to close.

  “Go to sleep,” he repeated, pulling me down on the pillows. “See you in the morning, Ali-gator.”

  “But I’ve got texts....” I knew nothing more.

  * * *

  Sunlight poured over the bed, waking me. I blinked open my eyes, saw that I was cradled in Cole’s arms and smiled. He hadn’t let me go all night, had kept me close, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of being without me, even for a second.

  I kissed him and sat up, my hair tumbling around my shoulders.

  “Sleep longer,” he muttered, trying to pull me back down.

  Chuckling, I faced him. His eyelids were at half-mast, but it was enough. Our gazes locked, and the bedroom melted away—

  —we were in a forest, the moon high, full and golden. The ice was mostly gone, but it must have melted only recently, because the ground was wet and muddy. Cole was on his knees in front of a thick tree trunk. Blood smeared his cheeks and shirt and soaked both of his hands. Hands he was staring at, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

  I walked past him, as if I didn’t really see him.

  He looked up at me, a lone tear rolling down his cheek. “I tried,” he croaked. “I tried so hard—”

  —a hard knock sounded at the door, jolting us out of the vision.

  Dang it! Stupid interruption! What had brought Cole so low? Had he been injured? What had caused my glazed look?

  Can’t let myself worry.

  But a lone tear rolled down my cheek.

  “It’ll be okay,” he said, cupping my cheeks.

  Another knock.

  To whoever was on the other side of the door, he snapped, “We’re up.”

  “We’re heading out in twenty minutes. Be ready or be left behind.”

  Milla. Not a morning person, I see. “Good luck getting into Mr. Ankh’s house without us,” I called.

  Cole kissed my forehead and stood—and I stared at him openmouthed. He was naked, and he didn’t care that I had a perfect view of his perfect butt.

  “Shower and take care of business,” he said, pulling on a pair of boxer briefs.

  Boo, hiss.

  “Do whatever you need to do,” he added. “I’ll do the same when you’re done.”

  We weren’t going to talk any more about the vision.

  The vision.

  Reminded of what I’d seen, I rushed to the bathroom and barricaded myself inside. Not that it would help. If Cole wanted in, he’d get in. Locked doors had never stopped him before. I just... I didn’t want him to see me cry.

  Compartmentalize.

  I tried. I really did. But the walls were trembling, about to fall again. Tears rained down my cheeks, burning. We’d endured so much lately, and knowing we had even more to endure...

  I turned on the shower to conceal the sound of my sobs.

  If the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is really true, I’m going to be the strongest girl in the whole freaking world.

  Right now, every decision I made was critical. What I did, what I said, who I trusted, would either help me or hurt me—help Cole or hurt him. Would either guide us out of the storm or take us deeper into it. And I know, sometimes storms were necessary. Even flowers needed to be watered. But...yeah.

  As the tears continued to rain, I stepped into the shower and cleaned up. Finally calm, I patted myself dry, dressed in the clothes I’d worn into the bathroom—ugh, the dirty clothes. T-shirt, no bra. Shorts pretending to be panties. I had to be all kinds of hobo hideous.

  A steam cloud escaped as I exited. Cole often knew what I needed before I ever said a word, and this was one of those times. He had placed a new pair of sweatpants and a jacket on the bed.

  Every girl should have a Cole Holland of her own. Just not m
ine!

  “My dad texted,” he said. “He tracked down a man who used to work for Anima. One of the higher-ups. Guy says Anima is one of many agencies owned by an umbrella company that makes the bulk of its money on medical patents and is run by a woman named Rebecca Smith.”

  Smith. “How Matrixy,” I muttered.

  “Yeah. Name is probably fake, but it’s something. Dad’s looking into it and will let us know if he learns anything more.” He held a bundle of clothes in one hand and, as he passed me, brushed his fingertips over my jaw with the other; I knew he’d noticed the pink tear tracks. “We’ll be okay,” he said again and closed himself in the bathroom.

  I dressed in the new clothes, dried my hair with the towel and entertained Pep-Talk Ali. In the vision, he’s covered in blood, yes, but he isn’t dead. That’s something, right?

  Very right.

  Knowing Downer Ali was only a few heartbeats away, I sang “la la la” inside my head as I tugged on the socks and boots also waiting for me. La la la la, today’s gonna be a good day. I will protect Cole. I will find a clue about Justin.

  I swiped my phone from the nightstand and checked the text messages Kat and Nana had sent me last night.

  Kat: Hear UR w/other slayers. Catching butterflies? Or do I need 2 race over there w/a crowbar & an alibi? Never hurts 2 B prepared!!!

  Kat: BTW, U owe me a girls’ day out. Let’s put 1 on the books 4 the sec U get home!

  Nana: Just got to missing my girl. Hope all is well with you. I love you!

  Kat: Stop me if U’ve heard this 1. What did the zombie say 2 his date?

  Kat: I just love a woman w/BRAAAINS.

  I grinned and fired off a round of responses. I told Kat no crowbar or alibi was needed, but the girls’ day out was as good as done. I told Nana how much I loved and missed her and that all really was well.

  Cole emerged from the bathroom dressed in the same clothes he’d worn yesterday. His hair was damp, making the black strands appear blue. A few water droplets slid from his temple to his jaw and fell to the floor. I moved in front of him to rub my towel through his hair.

  He wrapped his arms around me, holding me against him, just breathing me in for several moments. “Do you want to hear reason sixteen?”