He put his hand on her knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘Circumstance may have forced my hand, Callie, but I’m in. Fully in. And I want to be a part of my child’s life.’
Callie’s head started to spin. She could hear the words but nothing seemed to make any sense. Part of my child’s life? What did that mean exactly? A life with her too? Or just him and the baby? The baby she wasn’t even sure if she wanted.
Her brain was full. Just too full of startling information to comprehend.
‘So what does that make me? Some kind of unnatural freak, some kind of…anti-woman because I’m still grappling with this while you’re painting the nursery?’
Sebastian touched her face again as he had that morning in the doorway. She flinched and he dropped his hand. ‘Oh, Callie,’ he murmured. ‘It makes you human.’
A car behind hooted and Sebastian turned his attention back to the road as Callie looked out the window. He’d shocked her. Hell, he’d shocked himself. But one thing had become crystal clear over the weekend—his child was growing in Callie’s womb, his child, and he would do anything to protect it.
‘What if I don’t?’ Callie asked, looking back from the window. ‘What if I don’t want this baby?’
Sebastian felt the slow, steady thud of his heartbeat kick up a notch. She had that bolshie tone he knew so well. ‘Then I guess we have a problem,’ he replied with steel in his voice. ‘Because I will fight for this child.’
Callie looked away again from the grim determination she saw on Sebastian’s face. She’d seen that look on the bridge.
He’d been adamant then.
He looked immovable now.
‘My mother was bipolar,’ she said, staring out the window. ‘My brother was schizophrenic. Both of those are familial mental illnesses.’ She turned back to face him. ‘Are you prepared for that?’
Sebastian slowed and stopped for another red light. Her voice had been tight with fear. A fear that he, probably more than most, understood. He knew what it was like to have the sword of mental illness hanging over your head. ‘It’s okay to be scared, Callie.’
‘Well, that’s good,’ she said, a hitch in her voice, “cos I’m terrified.’
Sebastian heard the tremor lacing her words. He wanted to haul her into his arms until the fear went away, but she looked like she’d shatter at the lightest of touches.
‘Well, I’m not. Everything’s going to be okay. I’m going to be here for you, Callie.’
‘Except for when you disappear off back to Melbourne.’
He shook his head. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
Callie blinked. ‘What?’
‘I’m going to stay in Brisbane. Or you could come to Melbourne. But I figured you’d want to stay close to Zack. Either way, I don’t care. I think we should get married.’
Callie gaped at him. ‘What?’
Sebastian faltered as he mentally caught up with the words that had fallen unchecked from his mouth. They hadn’t been part of what he’d planned to say. He should have been horrified. He should have been recanting. But somehow they just seemed…right.
‘Sure. Why not? We were going to have a longdistance relationship, so why not this?’
Callie put a steadying hand against the dashboard as the light turned green and the car moved forward. The whole world suddenly seemed topsy-turvy. ‘Oh, I don’t know. What about love? I think that’s kind of vital, don’t you? You don’t even love me, Sebastian.’
Sebastian frowned. ‘Yes, I do.’ The words tumbled out, again without prior warning, but again he knew they were right. He loved her. He knew it as surely as he knew he loved their baby.
‘You love me?’ she said, shaking her head like someone had just struck her on the face. Had she heard correctly? Had he taken leave of his senses?
Since when?
‘Just like that, huh? Suddenly I’m pregnant and suddenly you love me,’ she said with scathing disbelief.
Her tone rankled and her insinuation was insulting. But he took a deep breath as his knuckles whitened around the steering-wheel. It was a lot to take in. ‘I know it’s sudden.’
‘Sudden!’ Callie could hear the note of hysteria edging into her voice. ‘You think?’
Sebastian kept a tight rein on his temper. ‘I guess sometimes it just happens that way.’
Callie snorted. ‘So we’ve spent months and months pretzelled together in either your bed or mine and there’s been no mention of the L word. But today you’ve had a sudden revelation?’
Sebastian nodded. She’d pretty much nailed it. Love hadn’t been on his agenda. Love hadn’t been on either of their agendas. In fact, they’d painstakingly avoided talking about the boundaries of their relationship since the beginning, preferring to just enjoy the ride without any of the normal relationship pressures.
Love was certainly not something they’d ever discussed.
But it had happened anyway. For him at least. Without his knowledge or consent.
‘Pretty much,’ he agreed.
Oh, God. Her head spun. As if it could possibly spin any more! How could he be so calm? She turned away from him, totally exasperated. Now she was faced with not one bombshell but two.
‘Do me a favour and just don’t talk any more, okay?’
Sebastian gripped the gear lever so hard he was afraid he was going to have the numbers permanently tattooed to his palm. But he kept his eyes firmly on the road. ‘Sure.’
They completed the rest of their visits in relative silence. Sebastian didn’t push. He knew that he’d shocked her and that she was going to need time to process what he’d said.
Hell, he’d even shocked himself. But he wasn’t sorry that he’d said it. Any of it.
He hadn’t really given his thoughts any coherent voice until just now and it had felt good to articulate them. Felt good that he’d been honest about his feelings about her and the baby.
As shocking as they were.
At least he’d declared himself. Callie needed time to sort out her thoughts and her feelings, he understood that. He’d just dropped an awful lot in her lap. But at least now she had all the facts to consider.
He daren’t think about what would happen if Callie couldn’t get past her fears. If she never loved him back. His life stretched in a long bleak road ahead of him at the very thought.
She just needed time.
And time he had.
‘Could you drop by Ginny’s?’ Callie requested when Sebastian started the car after their last appointment for the day.
They were the first voluntary words she’d spoken to him since his startling announcements and even they grated. She was still shocked, her emotions churning. And she was angry. Angry at him. At the situation. At herself.
His declaration of love and spontaneous marriage suggestion played over and over in her head. He appeared to have it all worked out. Whether she liked it or not.
He loved her? What the hell? They’d not long decided they’d try the long-distance thing, for crying out loud. And there’d been no mention of the L word then.
It was ironic really. In another time, under a different set of circumstances, his admission would have been like music to any girl’s ears—even hers. But hot on the heels of their pregnancy surprise, how genuine could it be?
A woman would be a fool to be swept up in words spoken on the coat-tails of such a life upheaval.
‘Sure. Is Ginny okay?’
‘She’s fine.’ Callie wanted to explain herself about as much as she wanted to be in the car with him but all she had between her and total breakdown was her professional facade. ‘I’ve taken to dropping in with the Doppler if I’m nearby.’
Sebastian nodded. ‘Okay.’
They pulled up at Ginny’s five minutes later and Callie scrambled out of the car in relief. He was too near, too close inside the small interior and the things between them too big. She couldn’t breathe.
She longed to be able to turn back the clock to a few days ago when
the only thing large between them had been their desire.
Sebastian also exited the car and it was more than she could stand. He’d been dogging her every step that afternoon. ‘You don’t have to come.’ Callie waved him away. ‘I’ll only be five minutes.’
The very last thing she wanted was Sebastian in the same room as a heavily pregnant woman. The waters were already muddied enough!
Sebastian shut his door, ignoring her dismissive wave. ‘I’m coming,’ he said, capturing her gaze.
Callie shivered at the determination glittering in the clear green of his eyes that took her straight back to the day they’d first met, his flak jacket like armour between them. She watched him as he strode past her, command in every line of his body.
‘Let’s go.’
There was nothing left for Callie to do other than take a deep breath and traipse after him.
Ginny was happy to see them both and insisted they have a cup of tea first and some of her home-made lamingtons. Callie was about to decline but when Sebastian said, ‘That would be lovely,’ and Ginny beamed at them, Callie found herself following him again.
‘I’ve been cooking all weekend.’ Ginny chatted away as she waved off their assistance with a look that said, I’m pregnant, not an invalid. ‘And cleaning.’ She laughed. ‘Brad’s been reading these maternity books and reckons I’m nesting.’
‘That sounds normal,’ Callie murmured, her face aching from keeping a smile on her mouth and her gaze averted from the taut basketball shape of Ginny’s belly.
‘You’re looking great,’ Sebastian added.
How would Callie look heavily pregnant with his child? Would she rub her hand across her stomach in the way Ginny was, like she was subconsciously soothing the babe inside? Or somehow trying to connect through the layers of skin?
‘Liar.’ Ginny laughed. ‘I was up half the night and then I couldn’t get comfortable in bed because my back’s been aching something fierce the last few days and I’ve been cleaning all day.’
Callie frowned. Ginny did look tired. ‘I hope you’re not overdoing it. You’re supposed to be using this time to rest. You won’t get the chance after the baby comes. It’s only two weeks away.’
Ginny waved her off again. ‘I know, that’s what Brad says, but I just want to get everything shipshape for the baby. Actually…’Ginny patted the table ‘…I’m pleased I’ve got you both here. I’d really like a second opinion, if you wouldn’t mind.’
‘Sure,’ Sebastian said.
Ginny grinned and hauled herself up from her chair. She took a moment to stretch out her back, grimacing. ‘Ugh! I tell you,’ she joked, waddling towards the doorway to the hall, ‘backs weren’t meant to carry so much extra weight out front.’
They followed her into a room at the end of the hall. Callie should have known it was the nursery from the pink glow that intensified the closer they drew. She approached reluctantly. She didn’t want to look at pretty pink frilly baby things—stuffed toys and teddy bears and musical mobiles.
Not today. Maybe not ever.
The room was exactly what she’d expected. Varying shades of pink on the walls, the ceiling painted with white fluffy clouds. A wooden cot, varnished to a high dark gloss, stood ready on one wall made up with a pink sheet. A mobile of fuzzy candyfloss sheep attached to the headboard hung over the cot, just waiting to spin around to the music.
And abutting its end a large change-table with a quilted plastic cover sporting green frogs in pink tutus. There were pots of things lined up neatly on its surface against the wall and a bag of pink disposable nappies stood at the ready. Two fluffy white towels were folded to one side and three piles of tiny pink and white clothes, looking soft and perfect, sat on top of the towels.
With white wooden shutters open to the streaming afternoon sun, the picture was complete. Even the smell of the room somehow evoked the essence of baby. That strange concoction of fragrances unique to tiny bundles of humanity.
Powder and soap. Sweetness and light.
Callie hovered in the doorway, uncomfortable with where her thoughts were heading. She was more than ready to give her opinion and leave. Sebastian, however, looked right at home, one shoulder shoved against the doorjamb, lounging lazily.
How was it possible for a man to look so lethal, so manly, surrounded by so much pink?
Sebastian watched as Callie took in the room, her hand on her belly. Hope bloomed in his chest. His own itched to join hers. Of course there would be nothing to feel now but he wanted to be there for every change, even the slightest nuance. He wanted to feel his baby move inside her.
‘So we can’t decide between the yellow ducks and the pink unicorns.’
Sebastian dragged his gaze from Callie’s. Ginny was holding up two samples of what looked like a wallpaper frieze. She turned and faced the wall, placing each one against a different section of pink. ‘What do you think?’
‘Ducks,’ they answered in unison, and then glanced in surprise at each other.
Ginny looked over her shoulder at them and gave a rueful smile. ‘Yeah, yeah, too much pink, I know.’
Sebastian chuckled, returning his attention to Ginny. ‘Pink is a very calming colour. Your little girl is going to be very laid back.’
Ginny laughed. ‘My little girl is going to be spoilt rotten.’
Callie, agitated by the pink room and the talk of babies and agreeing on yellow ducks, said, ‘Are you ready to have a listen to the foetal heart now?’ She just wanted to do what had to be done and get far away from the stark reality of her potential future.
Ginny nodded. ‘You bet.’
Sebastian watched from the doorway of the nursery as Callie and Ginny headed to the main bedroom. He turned back to the baby’s room. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he took a couple of steps inside, swivelling his head to look all the way around. He moved in farther until he was looking down at the cot.
Dust motes swirled in a stream of sunlight that pierced the centre of the mattress like a beam from on high, like a sign from something not quite earthly that this was his path.
Fatherhood.
A chance to give life. To love unconditionally. To prove that the legacy of his own childhood ended with him.
And to share it all with the woman he loved.
He reached for the cot side as the enormity of it nearly brought him to his knees. The smell of baby surrounded him and the possibilities seemed endless.
He just had to make Callie believe in them too.
‘Sebastian?’
Callie stood in the doorway. She’d called him twice already and he hadn’t heard. Then he turned and the longing in his eyes was paralysing. It called to something primal in her. Something she couldn’t control with rational thought or total avoidance.
‘Let’s do this, Callie.’
Callie didn’t know what to say. Just do it? Just like that? Her hand pressed low on her abdomen. Was it really that simple? ‘Come on,’ she murmured, ‘its time to go.’
Ginny had wrapped up some lamingtons in plastic film when they arrived back in the kitchen and handed them over. ‘For morning tea tomorrow at Jambalyn.’
‘What makes you think they’re going to make it that far?’ Sebastian joked as he accepted them.
‘I’ll tell Geraldine to expect them.’ Ginny laughed as she led them to the front door.
She reached up to release the lock and stopped abruptly, bending over and clutching her hand to her abdomen, crying out.
‘Ginny?’ Callie placed her hand in the small of her client’s back and bent forward too. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I think my waters just broke,’ she said, straightening a little and looking down.
Callie and Sebastian looked down too at the rapidly growing puddle on the polished floorboards.
‘I think you may be right,’ Sebastian agreed.
Ginny looked at them with wild eyes that quickly turned glassy. ‘But…it’s too early. Too early,’ she said, clutching at her belly
with one hand and tugging at Callie’s sleeve with another.
‘Nonsense,’ Sebastian dismissed. ‘You’re nearly thirty-nine weeks. That’s not early. Your little girl just can’t wait to see her pink room.’
‘What are we going to do?’ Ginny wailed as tears spilled down her cheeks.
‘We’re going to take you to the hospital,’ Callie stated matter-of-factly. The last thing they needed was for Ginny to become hysterical. ‘Are you having contractions?’
Ginny thought about it for a second. ‘No,’ she sniffled, wiping at the tears. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘Good. So we’ve got plenty of time. What did those books tell you about first labours?’
‘That they go on for ages.’
Callie smiled. ‘Okay, then. No need to panic. Let’s get you organised. Have you got some things packed?’
Ginny nodded and pointed to the small overnight bag standing near the door. ‘Right there.’
‘Good. Perfect,’ Callie said. Used to crises, Callie was an expert defuser of fraught situations. She knew that if she stayed calm that Ginny would also. ‘Sebastian is going to stow it in our car. Then he’s going to ring Brad and ask him to meet us at the hospital.’
‘Check,’ Sebastian said, smiling at Ginny, admiring Callie’s unruffled composure.
‘Brad.’ Ginny’s chin wobbled slightly.
‘It’ll be fine.’ Callie patted Ginny’s hand. ‘He’ll be at the hospital in a jiffy. We all will. Now, while Sebastian does his thing, we’re going to get you changed and then we’ll go, okay?’
Ginny sniffled. ‘Okay.’
Ten minutes later Callie had helped Ginny into a fresh set of clothes and thrown some towels from the linen closet on the pool of fluid sitting in the hallway. Sebastian was waiting for them at the front door, holding it open.
Ginny made it halfway to the door when she stopped abruptly and screwed up her face.
‘Contraction?’ Callie asked.
Ginny bit her lip. ‘Yeah.’
‘That’s fine. We’ll wait till it passes.’ She motioned to Sebastian to time it with his watch.
The contraction was long and painful and Callie rubbed Ginny’s back as the mother-to-be panted. When it passed they started towards the door again but after two paces Ginny had to stop again.
Rescued by the Dreamy Doc / Navy Officer to Family Man Page 14
