“You need to tell him.”
“Why, so he can hide from me again?” I say sarcastically as I walk the dustpan over to the storage room trash.
“No. Because he’s the damn father. That’s why. You can’t hide that shit from the man; it’s wrong on so many fuckin levels Storm. So, so fuckin wrong. Give the man the benefit of the doubt. He might surprise you.”
“You think?”
I’m surprised those are the words that come out of my mouth.
“Yep.” She smiles.
“Who's on Storm duty?” I ask, putting the broom and dustpan up.
Storm duty, Winter duty and so on, is the brothers that cover our small outings. We aren’t allowed to leave without a few brothers with us or following us.
“Tonight, going home you have Rap, Shadow, and Smokey.”
I grimace. “Smokey’s too fuckin quiet. I mean that man needs to learn to talk.”
“He does talk.” Winter laughs. “A whole lot actually, we’re just not around when he does.”
“Go tell him babe. He deserves to know.”
He does deserve to know. But does that make it easier on me? No. I’m literally already sweating thinking about how I might approach the subject. I mean, how do you go up to a one night stand and say… hey I’m pregnant with your baby, without sounding stupid?
But she’s right, like always. He’s a great father to Tatiana. He deserves to know.
“Fine. Alright. I’ll go tell him. You got the club for the rest of the night; you do know that now right?”
“Yep. Go pregos, before I change my mind.”
And so it begins.
***
I adjust the mirror in my car and playfully flip off Rap and Shadow riding behind me on their bikes. I got stuck with Smokey inside my car. His silence is maddening, and I decide to voice it too.
“Why the fuck are you so quiet?”
Calm and coolly he lifts his shades up a little so he can see my eyes. Seriously? It’s dark outside, and yet these fuckers wear their shades almost at all times.
“I’m the smart one, darlin. The smart ones sit back and analyze, quietly.” He grins, dropping his shades back in place, and he reaches out and turns on my car radio.
Wait. Is that all the conversation I get? Nope, no way!
“Why are you always assigned to me?” I ask, drawing his attention back to me. It’s a good question actually. Sniper is always with Winter, and I always have Smokey. The rest of the brothers get to mix it up, but those two are always stuck with us.
“A long term brother is assigned as you call it to everyone that has a hit.”
“So Berry…,” I trail off.
“James has her.”
Okay…
“Tatiana…”
“ZZ, obviously.” And I can tell he’s probably rollin his eyes at me under those shades.
Now that I think about it that was a dumbass question.
“Piper…”
“Pyro, and believe me, he wasn’t fuckin thrilled. Piper is a little chatty fuckin thing.”
I laugh and so does Smokey. Pyro isn’t one for chitchat, which breaks my heart. I stop laughing and so does Smokey when we both realize he’s not the same. He was so damn alive when Lana was still here.
“It’s shit,” I whisper.
“I agree darlin.”
All of a sudden, the guys behind us start honking their bike horns loudly and revving their engines. Smokey throws his sunglasses onto my dashboard and peers back to see what all their commotion is about.
“Storm, put your foot to the gas harder!”
I comply, and he’s still not satisfied. “More speed, now Storm!”
“What’s happening?” I cry.
Uncontrollable tears start flowing down my cheeks as Shadow rides up on one side of my car and Rap the other, and bright white lights flash in my rear mirror.
“Storm you have to stay fuckin calm! Do you hear me?” Smokey yells. “Fuck! I shoulda fuckin drove! Stay fuckin calm Storm; I gotta call Pyro. He’s acting Prez right now. Just breathe deep breaths baby, deep breaths.”
Baby! I’m pregnant! This shit can’t be happening!
“Smokey…”
Something in my tone causes him to look over at me.
“I’m pregnant.”
“FUCK!” He roars dialing Pyro.
A loud bang and my back windshield shatters. Oh no! They’re fucking shooting at me. Oh my god!
“Seriously! What the hell is with me and glass,” I cry, stepping on the gas harder. “First the fucking restaurant, the tequila bottle, and now this! Give me the fuckin phone. You shoot back; I’ll drive and talk!”
He doesn’t hesitate; he’s already got his gun out and handing me the phone.
“Storm, duck your head a little!” He yells, turning around and taking aim, firing off shots as I hold the phone up to my ear, and try to drive straight. The sounds of the vehicle behind us swerving around make my arm hairs stand straight up.
“Smokey what the fuck man? Hello!”
With all the commotion, I wasn’t paying attention to Pyro answering the phone.
“Oh my god, Pyro, we’re being shot at!”
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS?”
“Hanger Road…” I say as one of my tires take a bullet, causing me to swerve. Smokey starts yelling and firing off more bullets as Rap and Shadow do the same. Another tire goes out. All I have left are my two front tires, and my car is all over the road. “On the way to the compound. We only have two tires left, Pyro!”
“DRIVE FUCKING STRAIGHT!” Smokey roars.
“I’M DRIVING AS STRAIGHT AS I FUCKING CAN SMOKEY!”
The sound of a crash echoes and I can no longer see Rap.
“Nooooooooooooooooooo!” I scream.
“Storm! Hello! What’s fuckin happening?”
I can’t talk. I can’t hear Pyro screaming in my ear because all I can hear is the sound of Smokey’s voice screaming ‘hold on’ as my car flips alongside the road and glass shatters. The phone slips from my hand as I brace against the ceiling of my car. My head hits the stirring wheel multiple times, as my car continues to flip, over and over again. The metal from my car causes sparks alongside the road. My seatbelt digs into my chest. My air bag smashes into me so hard it feels like an anvil was thrown at my face. The sounds all around us are loud as my car skids to a stop. Everything is on replay as things begin to go dark.
***
ZZ
I didn’t even let Pyro finish the call. My ass was already flying towards Hanger Road. I can’t believe I was about to go try and find a bitch to fuck. What in the hell is wrong with me? When I see her car smashed all to hell and upside down, and Rap lying on the ground near his bike, and Shadow doing something at the driver side, I don’t even worry about my fuckin kickstand. I just toss my bike down and take off running. I push Shadow away and he draws on me. Sighing in relief, he puts his gun down and takes off to the other side of the car.
“Rap’s fine. I think both of his legs are broken though,” Shadow yells.
And I love my brother and all, but fuck him right now. I’m worried about Storm. She’s hanging upside down; her seatbelt’s the only thing keeping her in place. My fingers reach shakily for a pulse, and when my skin meets hers, her eyes flutter open.
“Mason,” she croaks. Her face is swollen, covered in white dust, blood, and already forming bruises.
I start scrambling quickly, her voice snapping me into a frenzied mess. “I’m here, but I gotta get you outta here babe.”
“ZZ, brother.” I hear a voice croaked from the other side of the car. I peer around Storm and see Smokey banged all to hell, one of his eyes swollen shut. “She’s pregnant.”
“What?” I stutter.
“She’s pregnant,” he croaks again.
My heart beats faster as I look back to Storm. She’s trying to form words, but her eyes keep fluttering shut.
“Shit, no baby, keep your eyes open for me.”
I say frantically as I dig out my knife. My hands are shaking so fuckin bad. “Storm. Keep those beautiful blue eyes open, yeah?”
“I… I can’t… it hurts…,” she whispers. “I got off early to tell you…”
She needs to keep her eyes open. Dammit!
“Shadow, go fuckin help ZZ. I’m good. Just banged up, nothin broken here.” Smokey croaks, and in no time, Shadow is at my side.
I hear bikes and tires squeal.
“It’s brothers,” Shadow murmurs. “Here I’ll cut the seatbelt; you hold her body up so she doesn’t fall.”
“My foot,” She swallows, her eyes opening just a little. “Is stuck… under the pedal.”
I feel someone reach into my back pocket and snag my riding gloves. I look over my shoulder and see a very shaky Winter. She’s putting on my gloves, and she’s white as a ghost. After she puts them on, she moves to the back seat door, and starts crawling through the broken window. She stops in between the two front seats and looks up towards the pedal.
“Ambulance is on their way,” Winter murmurs while reaching up and untying Storm’s shoe. “Sniper and Pyro are standing alert,” she nods in my direction. “I called Braxx; he’s gonna try to get home as quick as he can.”
None of this seems fuckin real right now. It’s like I’m in some kind of fucked up nightmare.
“ZZ,” Winter snaps.
“What?”
“Shadow needs you to hold onto her tight. I’m gonna hold her upper body up and help lower her into your arms. Don’t fuckin drop her. She’s free of the seatbelt.” She grits her teeth.
I don’t argue with her and say I’m already holding up Storm. I’m a fuckin mess and Winter senses it.
“One… Two… Three,” Winter counts as she starts lowering the bottom half of Storm’s body. As Shadow helps me pull Storm freely outta the car, Winter starts coming out with her legs. Strom’s head ends up in my lap and her legs into Winter’s.
“Shadow go help Smokey,” Winter directs.
I look over at Shadow because Winter shouldn’t have to be directing him, and see his line of sight. I look towards Storm’s legs and see the blood staining through her jeans.
“We live in such a fucked up world.” He curses, getting up to go help Smokey.
Storm cries out, her hands shakily moving to her stomach while her eyes remain shut. I look towards the sky and grip my cross with one of my hands. I feel two fingers direct my chin back down.
“ZZ, she’ll be okay.”
“No, no she won’t Winter.” I croak out. “Not after this.”
How the fuck could she be okay after this? I try to jerk my chin away, and Winter’s grip tightens on my face.
“She’ll be okay. She’ll get mad, ZZ. She’ll get so fuckin mad; her life, her safety will depend on that anger. Do you get what I’m saying to you?”
“FUCK!” I roar and immediately regret it because Storm whimpers. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” I whisper stroking her hair from her bloodied face.
“Where are those fucking EMT’s?” Winter starts cursing.
***
Chapter 18
Storm
When I woke up in the hospital stiff as hell, I already knew. I already knew I had lost the baby. Call it a mother’s intuition, even though I wasn’t a mother yet. I knew. ZZ hasn’t left my side. In fact, when the doctors were explaining that I underwent a D&C, he held my hand the entire time. I cried; hell, did I cry. But somethings are just out of our control. Something’s are meant to be, and some aren’t. And unfortunately for me, this was one of those aren’t times. I’m not angry. Well okay, that’s a lie. I’m fuckin pissed. Those men were out to kill me and killed half of me instead. Am I gonna turn into a blubbering mess? No. I’ve went through so much bad shit that if I let it control my life, I wouldn’t be living one. I chose to live this life. When Braxxon and Winter found me and offered to send me home free of cost, I chose to stay here. I’d rather be with this family then the family I grew up with. This is the life I’ve chosen for myself, and this is the life I’m gonna live. I’m sure someone from outside lookin in on our world would chastise and criticize us for choosing to live this way and that’s okay; that’s their opinion. The truth people, is that this world isn’t all sunshine, flowers, and rainbows. The people criticizing us and mocking us are just fuckin blind. Blind to it all. Not one inch of this earth has a place that’s perfect. Perfect is a word that some idiot made up to describe a fairytale. And me? I don’t have time for fuckin fairytales. I don’t have time for perfect. I’m not stupid. I won’t waste my time, my life on searching for a damn fairytale. Life is way too short for that shit. All I can do is live the happiest I can with the people I love and I’ll make that my fucking fairytale. That’ll be my perfect.
I reach over and run my sore hand through ZZ’s hair. He’s awake. I can feel it. But his eyes are focused on the door while his head rests on my bed.
***
ZZ
I dare a motherfucker to come through that door. I fuckin dare them. I’m so fucking angry. So fuckin angry, I can’t see straight. She didn’t deserve this shit. She didn’t deserve to have something so new taken from her. And through all that anger, Pyro’s words keep replaying over and over in my head.
“Because she wants you and you want her. That fuckin simple brother. One day, all the decisions you’ve ever made about staying away from her are gonna eat your insides all fuckin up. One day you’re gonna regret it and one day you’re gonna be pissed you didn’t take advantage of that time.”
Fuck if he wasn’t right. Because maybe if I didn’t have my head in my ass when it came to Storm, we wouldn’t be in this damn hospital room, and I wouldn’t be pissed off that we lost our baby. It’s time to grow up and be a fuckin man. Men have fuckin emotions too. I’ve gotta stop being such a pussy when it comes to her. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in when I feel her fingers running through my hair. I’ve been quiet. I don’t know how to act around her. She just lost our damn baby. What the hell do I say to her?
I slowly turn my head to look at her while her fingers continue stroking my hair. I’m still alert. My right hand between my legs still grips my fuckin gun.
“Whatcha over there thinkin about?” She tries to smile.
She had to ask that. And she deserves the truth right now and so much fuckin more.
“I’m thinkin… I’m done wastin time.”
She laughs. “What in the world are you talking about?”
“Somethin Pyro said to me once.” I sit up and lean on my left arm, staring straight at her. “He said that I’d regret not taking advantage of the time I have with you.”
I watch as her smile turns into confusion and then her face contorts in anger. “I don’t want a pity boyfriend, Mason.” She growls removing her hand from my head. I snatch it before she can drop it away.
The door opens, snapping my attention away. My gun is in the face of someone that I want to strangle for interrupting my conversation.
“Jesus! They let you in here with that thang?” The gay nurse of my nightmares twiddles, carrying a bag of food.
I smirk, lowering my gun. “Do you think they’d try stopping me?”
He shrugs. “Here sugar, brought you some fattening food. It’s better than what this shithole makes. But I have an ulterior motive if you want this food.”
Storm laughs. It’s only been a day since the accident. She’s already laughing and smiling, and it isn’t because of me, and that shit burns my soul on fire.
“What do you want from me handsome?” She says reaching for the bag of food. I sigh, get up, and wheel her tray over.
“I wanna know if this here beast is just that good.”
“What do you mean?” she smirks.
“The fucker knocked you up first go around.”
Too fuckin soon. Too fuckin soon for that shit. I’m about to put a bullet into his head when I look over at Storm and see her contemplating what he just said.
&
nbsp; “Or maybe I’m just that fertile.” She jokes.
What the hell? This is not somethin to be sharing or joking about.
“Oh, I like you darlin,” he smiles, handing her the bag of food and turning his head towards me. “Go get the beauty something to drink. I’ve gotten her food; make your sexy self useful.”
Who the fuck does this joker think he is? “Don’t you have work to do? Like harass other patients or somethin?” I growl.
“I came in early after the gossip told me all about the man of my dreams being back in the hospital.”
I groan, and Storm loses her shit and starts laughing uncontrollably.
The pop machines are just around the corner, so I place my gun on the tray table in front of Storm and walk out to get her something to drink. Really? It’s just so I don’t kill that motherfucker. After grabbing her a cold cola, I come back into the room and their laughing together as she eats her fries. She looks so fuckin happy.
“He really has a Jacob’s ladder?”
What the fuck? I was gone two seconds!
“He does.” Her head moves up and down quickly.
I slam the pop down on the tray table and pick up my gun, shoving it in the back of my jeans. Really, I just want to remind this fucker about who I am.
“You’re makin my fantasies eat me alive, darlin,” he teases her.
“Keep me and my cock outta your fuckin mind!” I growl.
“No can do. She’s already let the cat outta the bag, or shall I say the ladder off the fire engine. So many analogies I can use here. Oh this is perfect. Okay gorgeous, I gotta get to work. If you need anything, page me and I’m here.”
Finally, I think but really, I say it out loud and earn a scowl from both of them. Storm thanks him for the food and I cringe when he leans down to kiss her cheek. I watch him with a growl as he leaves.
I take a seat. Storm all but yells at me as she eats. “He’s leaving you know. He’s got a boyfriend in New York. He’s lonely here, no need to be an asshole!”
“I didn’t even know you knew him.”
“I don’t really.” She shrugs. “He said hi to me the last time I was in here for my leg. He’s a good person. Is Smokey and Rap okay?”
Withstanding Me Page 10
