by C D Cain
Always,
Gentry
P.S. If she does stay with you and if it’s not asking too much, I would like for her name to have the names of the two people who have meant the most to me—Adelaide Samantha.
The cold air blew across Sam’s face and body. She felt the tips of her hair ruffled in the wind become damp as they brushed the corner of her eyes. When Rayne had left her, she nearly collapsed physically from the pain of it. Rayne had chosen not to love her. She had made decisions that brought her to a place where she had to choose between loving Sam or not. Sam listened as the water began to creep further onto the shore with the tide flowing in. True, she was crying, but not in the same way as she had with Rayne. Gentry didn’t choose not to love her but rather to love her. There were wounds not yet healed within her. Wounds that prevented her from being able to be a mother to Baby Girl—prevented her from being part of a family. Sam gently folded the letter back into the envelope. Gentry loved her. Everything about this morning reaffirmed it to Sam. Gentry had shown her the night before in a way that brought tears to both of their eyes. Now, standing alone, staring out into the water, she had shown her again. She knew she couldn’t be a mother alongside Sam. So, she chose to love them both in the only way she knew how to do.
Quinn stood in the stream of sunlight that poured in from the patio doors. She held Baby Girl in her arms as she rocked back and forth. She didn’t have to say anything. The questions she wanted to ask were written on her face. Sam walked slowly to them and held her arms open for Baby Girl. She nuzzled her nose across Baby Girl’s downy black hair.
“Well?” Quinn had waited for as long as she could. Her thoughts and questions may have been written all over her face, but Sam’s answers were not. “Are we keeping her?”
“We?” Sam said softly.
Quinn stepped in closer to Sam and put her arm around her side. “Yes. We.” She placed her hand on the side of Baby Girl’s face. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
“It looks like I need a grandmother.”
Chapter 28
Sam pulled her jacket up over her neck to block the cool December breeze in the air. She leaned back into the back seat to tuck the blanket snuggly around Addie as she slept. “What are we going to do, little one?” she whispered as she swept Addie’s bangs to the side of her forehead. The length of her baby fine hair brought a picture of Gentry to the forefront of her mind. The soft slumbering breaths of Addie soothed the anxious anticipation Sam felt swirling deep within her belly. “Okay, little Gentry. I hear you. Follow the signs.”
She stepped back out into the air, closed the car door gently enough not to wake Addie, and placed her hand on the driver’s door latch. She read the road sign in front of her.
“Welcome to Brennin, Louisiana. The friendly city.”
“Let’s hope that’s true.” Sam slid into the driver’s seat and grabbed her phone from the cupholder. The fleur-de-lis caused another swirl of unknowing. How in the world was she going to make this call? She looked in the rearview mirror to see the back of the car seat and the head of the precious girl making the sweetest of sleeping purrs. She searched her contacts until Rayne’s name appeared. She took in a deep, calming breath, held it, and hit send.
“Wow. You really do miss me.” Sam’s heart quickened to the sound of Rayne’s voice.
“Rayne?” Sam said as she gripped the steering wheel tightly with her free hand.
“Sam?”
“Yeah.” She took in another breath in an attempt to stop the shaking of her voice. “Can you talk?”
Rayne stopped. She looked at the house and then turned to walk back down the dock. “Sure. I mean, yes, I can talk.”
The lump that formed in her throat nearly prevented Sam from speaking. It was the lump she had held in check from the moment Gentry had left. It had threatened to topple her once before when she dropped her mother off in Atlanta. Just as it threatened her now. She heard the soft sounds of Addie sleeping, sucked in a breath through her teeth, and tried desperately to find the strength to swallow the lump once more. She had to keep persevering until Addie was where she belonged.
“Are you okay?” Rayne’s voice was meek when she asked. It had been so long since she had heard Sam’s voice. Especially in a tone such as this.
“No.” The truth blurted from her lips before she could stop it. “I’m not okay. I don’t know what I’m doing, Rayne. I don’t really know where to go. I’m sitting here on the side of the road staring at this stupid sign but I don’t know what to do from here.” She sniffled and wiped at her nose. Everything, all of the emotions. All of the confusion, fear, anger, sadness…all of it was boiling over the surface and she couldn’t stop it. She felt stupid. She felt weak. Rayne’s voice had caused every bit of her reserve to crumble like a rockslide over the side of a mountain. She sniffled again. Harder this time. “I’m supposed to be better than this. Stronger than this. But I don’t have a fu—,” she paused, “a clue as to what to do. I’m scared, Rayne. I’m so scared I’m going to screw this up.” She looked in the rearview mirror again. “And I can’t screw up this time. I just can’t.”
“Sam,” Rayne said gently. “Shhhhh. Breathe. Just breathe. It’s okay. I’m right here.”
Sam rested back into the seat. She felt her body slump against the leather.
“First, tell me where you are.”
“Outside Brennin.”
Rayne’s voice choked on any words she could form. She fell into a seat on the edge of the dock. Thankfully, her lightheadedness and uneasy footing hadn’t thrown her head-first into the bayou. “You’re where?”
“I’m in Brennin, Rayne. I need you. I mean…” Sam rubbed her palm on her jeans. “I need your help. I don’t know where to go.”
“Come here.”
Sam shook her head. “Come where?”
“I’m in Brennin too. I’m at my cabin. Do you remember how to get here? If not, tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.”
“No, I remember. You’re really in Brennin?”
“Yes. I’m really here. So, come here. We’ll figure this out together. Just come here.”
“Signs,” Sam mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Sam shifted the Xterra into drive and pulled out onto the blacktop two-lane highway. “I’m on my way.”
Months had gone by since she last saw Rayne. If her memory was correct, she would be at Rayne’s cabin within the hour. The terrible words she had said to Rayne outside of the nightclub in Atlanta played over in her head. She had all but forgotten them until the moment she hung up the phone. Strangely, Sam didn’t hear a hint of them in Rayne’s tone. She prayed they were words of the past. She checked herself in the mirror of her visor and wiped the running mascara from beneath her eyelid. Her eyes weren’t the same anymore. She recognized the change in them every time she looked in the mirror. The crystal blue of them had deepened to a darker shade of night sky in the growth she had found over the last several months. She had found incredible joy in the midst of heartache. She had found purpose beyond any she had ever imagined. Her journey now was for Addie.
“There’s only one way to find out, Addie.” She took in a breath through her clinched jaw, flipped her signal on, and turned off the main road. “Let’s do this.”
Rayne stared at the phone in her hand with disbelief. Sam. Sam was coming here. She straightened the slump in her body and looked over her shoulder to the cabin. Sam was actually coming here. The weight of her footsteps shook the boards of the dock as she ran across them to the house.
“Flossie!” she yelled the moment her feet hit grass. “Flossie!”
Flossie ran out of the porch, drying her hands on a dish towel. “What in tarnation? What’s wrong with you, child?”
“She’s coming.” Rayne bent over to catch her breath.
“What you ja
bbering about?” Flossie patted Rayne’s back. “Catch yo’ breath then tell me what the hell you talkin’ ‘bout.”
Rayne raised up. “She’ll be here any minute. Well, I don’t really know when, but she’s coming.” She grabbed Flossie’s shoulders. “Here. She’s coming here.”
Flossie cocked her head at Rayne. “Who she? That one that done called you on yo’ phone out dere?”
Rayne shook her head. “No. Not Mo.” Fuck. Mo. Mo’s coming too. She forcefully shook her head again. She’ll have to figure out what to do with that later. “Sam. Sam will be here any minute.”
Flossie tossed the dishtowel over her shoulder and stared at Rayne. “Sis, I’m confused.”
“You and me both. But Flossie, you should’ve heard her voice. I’ve never heard Sam like this. She said she was scared and didn’t know what to do or where to go.”
“So, you done told her to come here.”
Rayne shrugged. “Well, yeah.” She dug her teeth into her bottom lip. “Wait. Should I not have?”
A smile spread across Flossie’s face. “Of course you should’ve.” She dried her fingers again on the edge of the towel. “Guess I best go finish cookin’ den.”
“I’ll help.”
“Uh huh.” Flossie chuckled as she opened the screen door to go back into the house.
Flossie had taken the chopping duties from Rayne shortly after she placed the green pepper and onion in front of her to dice. Her hands were shaking so badly that Flossie feared one shake more and her surgeon-to-be was going to lose a finger. Rayne was fit to be tied since she had come running in off of the dock. Sure, Flossie had seen the change in Rayne’s eyes when she talked to her about her new little friend. She had seen the happiness in her smile when she got her call earlier. Although nothing ever seemed to bring the glow to Rayne’s face like that there Sam. Flossie picked up the bowl of cornbread batter and walked over to the window where Rayne stood staring.
“You gone bite dem ‘til they bleed if’n you don’t stop.” Flossie peered over Rayne’s shoulder.
Rayne removed her fingernail from her mouth. “The last time I saw her, it wasn’t so good, Flossie. We had words. Bad ones.” She shook both of her hands by her sides. “I didn’t have the right words to say. I tried. I tried to tell her how I felt but nothing came out right. I hurt her again that night.” She looked at Flossie with eyes that nearly broke the old lady’s heart. “When am I going to stop hurting her?”
“But, baby girl, she done called you, right?” Flossie kept whisking the batter. “It you she done reached for. Dat right dere done tell you all you be needing to know ‘bout how she feelin’ on dem words you said.”
A blue SUV Xterra slowly turned into the driveway. Rayne squinted to see Sam behind the driver’s seat. Quickly, she looked to the passenger seat but saw it empty. Butterflies swarmed her and nearly knocked her off her feet. “Oh my gawd, Flossie. She’s here. I don’t know what to do.”
Flossie nudged Rayne’s shoulder with her own. “Why don’t you go let her in?”
Rayne swallowed. “Oh, yeah. Right. I should do that.”
Flossie laughed as she took the bowl to the counter and set it down. She walked back to the door to see Rayne staring out of the screen porch. Sam inched the SUV up to the house and then stopped. Flossie stepped in behind Rayne. “You’ve got dis.” She put her hand gently on the small of her back and pushed her forward.
Sam’s hand slipped off of the driveshaft as she tried to put the SUV in park. She wiped the sweat from her palm and tried again. She noticed the silhouette of a woman walk up behind Rayne. Flossie. She smiled at the sight of the older woman. It’s perfect that she’s here. The two women walked out of the front porch to stand in the yard.
Sam got out of the car and waved. “Hi.”
Rayne felt a prickle behind her neck with the first full sight of Sam. “Hi,” she said shyly.
“Hey dere, Sam.” Flossie took a step back to give them privacy in their greeting.
Sam smiled broadly. “Hi, Flossie. I’m so glad you’re here.” Sam’s eyes darted back to Rayne who stood in a frozen stare at her. “Hey.”
Rayne swallowed. “Hey.”
The screech of the patio door’s springs caused both women to flinch.
“I’m glad you called me,” Rayne finally said.
“You are?”
“Yeah. I am.”
“I was afraid.” Sam shifted her weight and kicked at a rock in the driveway. “I was so ugly to you the last time I saw you. I didn’t know if you would ever want to see me again.”
Rayne started to take a step toward Sam but stopped quickly. “No. It was me. I was the one who hurt you.” She shook her head. “Sam, I’m so sorry. Sorry for everything.”
Sam put her hand in the air. “I’m sorry too, but you know what? That feels like an eternity ago. So much has changed.” She pointed to her chest. “I’ve changed. Maybe we can let it go.”
“Let what go?”
“All of that stuff.” Sam looked down at her feet. “All of the bad stuff. Besides, that’s not why I’m here.”
“Then why are you here?” Rayne gritted her teeth. “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, what brings you to Brennin?”
“I’ve got someone I want you to meet.” She looked around Rayne to Flossie who stood at the edge of the screened porch. “Someone I want you both to meet.” She opened the back door, disappeared behind the seat, and came back out carrying Addie’s car seat.
Rayne’s mouth instantly became dry. Flossie walked from the porch and made eye contact with Rayne as she came to stand next to her. Sam supported the weight of the car seat in her arms to turn Addie to face them as she walked up closer to them.
Rayne’s brain was busy trying to make sense of what her eyes were seeing. She calculated the months it had been since she had seen Sam. No. No, this isn’t possible, she thought to herself.
Sam smiled as she gazed down at Addie. “Rayne, Flossie,” she looked back up at them, “I want you to meet Adelaide Samantha Bell.”
Flossie gasped and covered her mouth. Rayne stood speechless. Her mouth held silently open. Both of the women peered into the car seat.
“We call her Addie.”
“Adelaide? Addie?” Flossie asked with eyes that held promise in hearing her dear friend’s name.
Sam shifted the car seat in her arms to place a hand on Flossie’s arm. “Yes, Addie. It’s a long story. Can we come in?” She maneuvered the car seat in her hands. “She’s getting heavy.”
“Lawd, yes. Come, child. Bring dat baby inside.” Flossie tugged at Rayne’s arm to move to the side so Sam could get between her and the door.
Sam positioned Addie’s car seat on the coffee table to face the couch as she sat down in the middle of it. Rayne and Flossie sat on each side of her.
“Addie, these are the two I’ve been telling you about.” She folded the blanket down across the baby’s chest and tucked it in along her sides. Addie’s free hand reached into the air. Sam smiled as Addie closed her grip around her finger when she placed it in her palm.
“I don’t understand,” Rayne finally said.
“I know. It’s a long story.”
Flossie shifted in her seat. “Sam, dis Imogene’s grandbaby, ain’t it?”
Sam nodded and moved her hand as Flossie reached underneath the carrier arm to touch Addie’s blanket. Addie held Flossie with the brightest of expressions. Sam noticed wetness along Flossie’s eyelid.
Flossie leaned in closer. “Hi, Addie.” She cleared her throat. “Ain’t you da most beautiful baby I done seen.”
“I still don’t understand.” Rayne’s voice was cloaked in the tears that were starting to stream from her eyes with Memaw’s name being said over and over.
“Baby girl, dis Gentry’s baby,” Flossie said tenderly while she looked deeply in
to Addie’s eyes.
“But how? How do you have Gentry’s baby?” Rayne asked.
“It’s a long story, Rayne.” Sam put her hand gently on Rayne’s knee. “I’ll tell you everything. I promise. But…she belongs here.” She touched Flossie’s arm. “Addie deserves to grow up with her family. With you two.”
“How is she my family? I just don’t understand at all,” Rayne said.
“I know you don’t.” Sam squeezed Rayne’s knee. “But trust me. You will.”
Flossie wiped her tears from her eyes. “Can I hold her?”
“Of course.” Sam unlatched the car seat and lifted Addie up to place in Flossie’s arms. “She’s a heavy one. In fact, it won’t be long before she’ll need another bottle.”
“I can take care of dat. You just get it fixed up and I feed dis here tater. After dat, why don’t you and Rayne go outside and get caught up.” Flossie didn’t take her eyes from Addie the whole time she spoke. “You done right, Sam. Dis where dis baby belong. I can feel Addie’s spirit all over her.” Flossie held Addie closely against her.
Sam fixed a bottle she had in the diaper bag, gave it to Flossie, and then glanced at Rayne. “Wanna help me unload and set the bassinette up? She’ll be in a milk coma in no time.”
“I never knew a baby needed so much stuff. It’s crazy how much of this you actually need.” Sam closed the back of her SUV. “In practice, I was done after they were born.”
“Until now.” Rayne juggled the bags in her hand as she tried to find a comfortable carrying position.
“Until now,” Sam repeated.
“She be a hungry little one,” Flossie said with a laugh as the two women walked in from setting the bassinette up in the second bedroom.
“You ain’t lying.” Sam rubbed the knot in her shoulder. “It’s like carrying a load of bricks when she goes into her coma like that.”
