Advance Online reappeared rapidly around me, leaving me once again in my seat. Snoring echoed around the cabin.
I pointed up. “Is that noise—”
“That noise is the human, Eggman. He is currently engaged in psychological warfare after failing to gain access to our systems,” Treasure responded. Her tired and sweet voices were both grinding teeth in frustration.
I smiled halfheartedly and looked at the countdown timers. We didn’t have much time left before Auntie Backstab caught up. The [Stabinator] loomed close. We were like ghosts running away from a heavy metal version of Pac-Man.
“I tried to figure out a solution but came up empty. You?” I asked Jeeves.
“No clear options presented themselves. I suggest we proceed with utmost haste toward the Jump Gate,” the iron-and-gold [Mechanoid] answered stiffly.
Our chances of making it out were slim, but we had to do our best. If we could run away from a full-blown [Leviathan] as newer players, maybe we could outrun one angry captain.
Snoring broke off as Eggman started laughing. “You can’t just hit this gate right away! It’s not a slide! It takes time to activate the key. Hehe.”
The player’s laugh was maddening. I grit my teeth and asked, “How much time?”
“At least five minutes. I’ll try to warm her up. Warp drive, set to eleven! Haha!”
Eggman’s ship broke off from our glommed-together [Mechanoid] vessel. He laughed maniacally as his shard-shaped vehicle rocketed ahead of us. Had I known his ship was that fast, I might have hitched a ride and sent the other [Mechanoid]s home, but it was too late.
I turned around in my seat to look at the other two [Mechanoid]s. Treasure paused her display feed and turned. Jeeves frowned at his display. We had less than a minute on the timer. Intellectually, I knew what would be our best bet, but it was terrible.
“We need to delay her.” My teeth clenched on metal lips before continuing. “Here, away from the gate, or else she might get Eggman.”
“That would be good. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.” Eggman’s voice reached us from up ahead.
Two [Mechanoid] faces appeared on the display. Aqua presented with its serene smile that spoke of belief in a plan painstakingly put together by a higher power. Ruby’s face, as always, did nothing.
“Support ready to engage,” Aqua stated with an unfaltering smile.
Ruby nodded but otherwise wore a blank expression. For a moment, I wondered if she might be a copy of Shazam, but the merger didn’t fit. The red [Mechanoid] was sneaky, and Shazam existed like an immovable wall. Eggman and the drunken KeylessLock didn’t line up either, but these games were only echoes of each other. Some excuses could be made for non-perfect representations.
Our timer ran out. The picture of Auntie Backstab’s vessel caught up with ours on the chase timeline. The first thing I heard was a sound that screamed across our interior louder than Eggman’s snoring.
“Ham! I found you, ham!” Auntie Backstab shouted.
I swiveled the chair back around and prepared to take the controls. Treasure snorted at my actions and rapidly pressed buttons. Display notices came up.
Ship Status Boost
[Mechanoid] Unit Hermes (Pilot): Provides a bonus to [Coordination], [Reaction], dodging, energy recharge, ship’s firepower.
[Mechanoid] Unit Treasure (Support): Provides bonus to deflection, sensory awareness, ship’s firepower, repair.
[Mechanoid] Unit Jeeves (Support): Provides bonus to shields, sensor range, repair.
Note: Bonuses will expire once crew’s energy is depleted.
This promised to be a worse situation than our [Leviathan] chase. Ruby and Aqua peeled away in separate directions. I veered off in a third in hopes that our scatter might cause bewilderment.
“She’s locked on us,” Treasure said.
“Of course she is.”
I attempted to see where everyone was. We weren’t in an asteroid field, so there were no spots to hide or dodge around. Ruby was nowhere in sight and Aqua shined with its blue coloring in the distance.
We strove to outfly the unquestionably faster ship. Ruby fired lasers at the [Stabinator], but no damage resulted. The large ship with spikes was easily four times our size. There was little conversation as I endeavored to abruptly change direction away from the enemy ship, but each change of direction or doubling back movement made our shields take a bump. Jeeves and Treasure both appeared grim.
“I need options!” I tried not to yell at them but failed.
Dusk squeaked and wiggled from a perch up above. I didn’t have time to give the [Messenger’s Pet] a glance. The three of us were being rammed from behind by a space blowfish. We should be thankful our foe didn’t have any actual weapons. Auntie Backstab relied on brute force and speed to solve issues.
“Bombs? Do we have anything to aim backward?” I asked.
“Each attack costs us mass.” Treasure’s tired voice ran rampant over the sweet one.
“Death costs us mass,” I responded while performing another white-knuckled turn.
Our shields dropped twenty more percent from a jarring hit as we rolled off Auntie Backstab’s vessel. Dusk squawked, and the blanket of stars spun wildly as I tried to pick new directions.
Ruby’s lasers kept ricocheting off the [Stabinator]’s hull. Aqua risked crossing close to us, and I saw a blue beam shoot out. It aimed for our shields instead of Auntie Backstab’s vessel. Our blue bar for shields recovered as the other [Mechanoid]’s bar went down. I barely registered that the ability was transferring energy to us in an effort to help. Another violent nudge surged into our backside and knocked off ten more percent.
“Trouble!” shouted Eggman. “Sending you what I’ve got! Heeee.” His voice wasn’t into the laugh now. The player sounded nearly depressed, and I understood why.
“Is that…?” I wanted to cry out loud about this unfair situation. We were screwed—utterly screwed. Even if we managed to avoid the [Stabinator], which wanted to violently mate with the [Wayfarer’s Hope], we had a giant player vessel standing in our way.
“The player ship, yes. WTS a Spaceship,” Jeeves uttered.
“Why is it blocking the Jump Gate? Why do they always block it?” I banged on the steering wheel violently and failed to dodge an additional whack on our ship.
“Ships popping through gates get a few seconds of immunity. It prevents spawn camping by raider guilds,” Eggman said, happily providing an answer to our ridiculous situation. Explosions rocked his audio—clearly his efforts weren’t going well either. “Or else we would all be doomed!”
“Ham. Ham. Ham,” Auntie Backstab chanted.
“Doom. Doom. Doom,” Eggman added his own words to the song Auntie Backstab was broadcasting.
“Darn it! Full shields!” I spun our vessel around and rammed the [Stabinator] in return.
We didn’t have the power, mass, or inertia to make a difference in space. Our ship was pushed backward. Giant spikes rotated across the surface of Auntie Backstab’s space blowfish. The shields kept us physically separated as the sharpened cone came into line.
There was a sudden rush as a spike rocketed from the [Stabinator]’s surface and collided heavily with our shields. Her vessel fired spikes at us! The idea that she had somehow created a vessel able to shrug off lasers and be durable enough to jostle small ships was bad. Now we also had to dodge impalement.
“We should avoid those,” Jeeves said.
“Yes, we should,” Treasure echoed the sentiment.
“Fine!” I shouted at them for being super helpful and rolled us over the [Stabinator]’s shield. Our meter flashed, and only a timely strafing run by Aqua kept us from being demolished.
I drove toward the big ship. My desperate hope was to use those giant spikes against the [WTS a Spaceship]. It would probably get us killed, but my options were limited.
Aqua came in for an extra shield regeneration run, but the [Stabinator] unexpectedly fired all the spikes at once
.
“Die, ham!” Auntie Backstab’s voice shouted, and there was a flash of light.
I watched the bar for Aqua’s ship vanish as two different spikes pierced through its lower shield. Just like that, it popped.
“Aqua!” Treasure screamed.
Jeeves gasped with its nanny voice.
Aqua’s ship had been demolished. There would be no way to recover the [Mechanoid] now. I inhaled and pushed myself to continue forward. One step at a time, one problem to solve before moving on to the next. My arms didn’t work quite right, and one foot faltered at the gas pedal.
Ruby’s silent face practically snarled. I saw her red ship dive between the spikes and fire away. Lasers glanced off the [Stabinator] and were essentially ineffective. We weren’t going to be able to take down this captain’s vessel. It was too big for us to thwart.
“Careful,” I said to Ruby, feeling numb with forced calm.
Neither Jeeves nor I had the right [Core] to bring back Aqua. Our healer was gone, and Ruby looked to be mad with mute rage. Her ship crashed right into the [Stabinator] in a ball of kamikaze red.
“Oh no. What was she thinking?” Jeeves said.
Treasure sniffed behind me, then huffed. “They’re with the Great Core now. It’ll be okay. They’ll be recovered in the Borders of Ohm once more.”
We had only been able to recover them the first time because their [Core]s were intact and working.
There wasn’t time to stare at the mess. I focused on moving us forward toward the big vessel. We—I—could hopefully use one ship to fight the other, or something. Anything to make this work. Going around them wasn’t an option. Going through them would probably meet with failure, but by the Voices, I didn’t plan on giving up.
I felt a moment of guilt for letting Jeeves and Treasure come into this mess. If there had been a way to back out and let them go, I might have. Briefly it occurred to me that I should have stolen the ship from Ruby and Aqua back on [Offbeat Point]. Then they would all be safe, away from my madness.
It was too late. The player vessel [WTS a Spaceship] loomed in the distance. Our Jump Gate sat behind it. I released the steering wheel and wiggled my hands to get circulation back. [Mechanoid]s didn’t need it, but as a person, it helped me. Driving was not a skill I used often in the real world.
“I’ve got something,” Jeeves shouted.
Treasure gasped. “Multiple crafts inbound! I’ve got communications. It sounds like they’re old souls here to attack…” The silver-and-gold [Mechanoid] paused with clear uncertainty. Her mouth pumped a few times to try to speak the words. “Commander Queenshand’s forces?”
I didn’t have time to care. We had gained a small lead on the [Stabinator] after its spike trick. Suffering a small kamikaze from Ruby had slowed it down.
“Patching audio!” Treasure’s sweet voice dominated fully. Whatever had happened must be good.
“All right, boys! You know the rules! All in. Everything on those two ships and try to get the Mechanoids through! Move, move!” The voice sounded nasally, like the kind of person who probably had tons of pimples and sat behind a computer screen.
Goodness, now what was going on? Dozens of ships were flying in. These were all player vessels, not NPCs. They aimed straight for the two enemy ships. Explosives and beams rocketed across the landscape. Where in the universe had this army come from?
An idea occurred to give me a spark of hope. Were these Advance Online’s representation of the army Shazam was leading? Was this one of those echo events that Jeeves had mentioned? This was our cavalry, riding to the rescue because of a letter I delivered!
“Come on, quickly! I’ve got the gate started, but our window is short,” Eggman shouted at us, and I changed course.
Current Stage Event:
The Jump Gate to [The Old Earth Solar System] is now active. This is a limited portal and will be unavailable after one minute.
Time Remaining: 00:00:58
Our vehicle went from pointing at [WTS a Spaceship] to the gate floating nearby. Eggman’s shard of a vessel was taking heavy fire. Lights flickered along the wooden Jump Gate. It looked as though the various beams of lightning were gradually being brought together into one giant straight ray of light that shot off into the distance. Pulses rippled a path out of this disaster.
Then Eggman’s ship blew up. I didn’t know what to think. Had a third Traveler just died? Was this another casualty to go with the army around us that was assaulting our enemy? I didn’t have time to figure out who was on our side or who might be with Commander Queenshand. We had to get to the gate.
I drove straight for it while watching the timer. Blasts from other ships flew in from all directions. A few hit us and shaved away health and energy. Treasure and Jeeves were madly pressing buttons, micromanaging the ship’s functions and diverting energy from places. Small symbols appeared, noting fluctuations in our weapon’s power and that [Repair] functions were being taken offline to boost the shields.
My job was to steer for the Jump Gate. That had to be my only focus.
Remains of Eggman’s vessel flew by us. One large piece collided with our hull. I couldn’t afford to pay it any mind as I pressed down on the gas pedal. Even that brief bit of collision from an opposite direction had ruined our inertia.
“Come on,” I muttered.
There was a clank of noise. Heavy footsteps clambered in from the exit hatch that shouldn’t even be open. I couldn’t turn around to look.
“Human!” Treasure sounded affronted.
I focused on aiming for the Jump Gate.
“All right, those punks, stealing my ship after all that work!” Eggman’s voice wasn’t over the intercom anymore. “Hey, Igs! Surprise! I left a self-destruct option aboard before quitting the guild! Hahahaha.”
“Hammmmmmmmm!” Auntie Backstab’s voice chased us through space. “Hammmmmmmmmmmmmm.”
“Doooooooooom!”
Explosions distorted space for endless miles. Pieces of ship rocketed outward in a ripple. My eyes stayed glued on the escape, our only hope and Xin’s salvation. I dove straight into the activation portal for [The Old Earth Solar System]. Our ship whooshed through in a beam of light. My eyes felt as if reality was being stretched through all the world’s funhouse mirrors at one time. Everything rippled and spun, compressed and expanded.
Then we popped out the other side. My interface was messed up. Health and energy bars crawled with lightning-looking static. I tried to breathe and see where we were. Finally, satisfied that we had made it through this latest leg, I turned to confront the player Eggman.
“You do understand that was a one-way trip?” I said to him.
We sat at the Jump Gate’s edge. Going back would be impossible—there was no energy to the gate on this end. The other player’s ship had been destroyed. Aqua and Ruby had been destroyed along with their vessels.
“I do! It will be fantastic! Hehehe.” Eggman laughed maniacally.
He and I were about the same mass, at least in terms of volume. I was allowed to put it into different places, where Eggman kept his a few feet lower across the board. Each time his belly wiggled, it pushed into the other [Mechanoid]s.
“You’re willing to go this far… for revenge?” I asked. We hadn’t talked much in-person aside from his strange habits of spouting doom and laughing.
“On those idiotic brats? Of course! Let them try to stop me! You saw what I did to my old ship. Your minions can deal with the NPC. I’ll show The Little Twerp and Jolly Green Moron a thing or two.” The plump player struck poses in our small craft, which only served to knock around Jeeves and Treasure.
I faced the front and pressed the gas pedals. We had come this far and needed to keep forging ahead. A timer displayed how long remained until we caught up with Commander Queenshand’s ship, the [Lady Liberty].
Current Stage Goal:
Intercept the first squadron’s ship [Lady Liberty] and recover the [Mistborn]
Time until [Wayfare
r’s Hope] catches up with [Lady Liberty]:
1:33:54
I drove on. Stealth was pointless. We would either attract every monster in the entire solar system or make it through safely. [Lady Liberty] was ahead somewhere. My hope was she would be fighting or clearing a path. After ten minutes, we encountered the first casualties.
A stream of dead monsters, body parts, and health bars littered the solar system. It led between planets and onward toward the center. It was disgustingly clear they had sacrificed numerous human ships to make it this far.
I gaped at the dead while our ship floated forward almost silently. It was as if we were staggering through a graveyard. The monsters I didn’t mind, except that some of them looked like giant twisted people. Human-like creatures floated in the vacuum. They had mutated faces and extra arms. By Neptune, I felt sick; at Saturn, my stomach rumbled and threatened to retch.
“Welcome to a spaceship graveyard.” Eggman managed to restrain his laughter in the face of this morbid scene.
Treasure’s noisy scans identified ships. Brief messages displayed about her readings and presented several details such as the year each ship went missing, crew size, and their allegiances. The oldest ship was from at least one hundred years in my future.
It took too long even with the ship’s speed. We saw Jupiter in the distance, and Mars on another side. Finally, we found the Advance version of Earth. Only instead of one small green-and-blue marble, there were four large pieces. Lightning crackled and a cloud hung between them. Our planet looked to have suffered from an explosion that rent it into shards like a global watermelon.
“What happened here?” I asked.
“Humans,” Jeeves said.
“That’s what the records imply,” said Treasure.
“We fucked up paradise during a war with the first AIs,” said Eggman. “At least that’s what the lore says.”
I studied the globe in front of us. This scene was a virtual foreboding of mankind’s future, especially with my knowledge of AIs and their current existence. Our programs were no longer simple creations that only understood and performed basic tasks. They grew, learned, evolved, and apparently even fell in love.
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