by Loretta Lost
“I’ve never met this Scarlett person,” Benjamin says smoothly. “I am sure I would remember if I had.” Then he looks at me, and lifts his finger to point. “I know you. I’ve seen you both before, recently.”
“In California,” I remind him, through clenched teeth.
“Ah, yes. You’re the kid who lost his leg in Afghanistan. You must excuse me for not remembering right away. I do meet so many people. And there was a lot of champagne at that party.”
“Where is she?” I demand, my fingers twitching with the desire to reach for my gun. “Where is Sophie?”
“I thought you said the woman’s name was Scarlett?” Benjamin asks, and there is a mocking look in his eyes. “What is she to you?”
“She’s missing.”
“But she is the wife of Cole Hunter, correct?” Benjamin asks, stepping forward with a small smile. “Why do you seem to care so much?”
Luciana has to reach out and put her hand on my elbow to stop me from grabbing my gun and pressing it between Benjamin’s teeth.
“We’re here on official business,” Luciana says, showing her badge. “Will you let us search your home, or do we need to come back with a warrant?”
“You are absolutely welcome to search my home,” Benjamin says, stepping aside. “But you must answer one question for me. I am puzzled. Why exactly am I a suspect in all this?”
“You know why,” I tell him quietly, through gritted teeth.
“Actually, I don’t,” Benjamin says.
“Because she’s your long lost daughter,” I inform him. “The girl you adopted and started raping when she was only nine years old? Does that ring a bell?”
Benjamin’s face falters. “These are serious accusations, young man. I assure you that I never did anything of the sort. In fact, I’m not sure if I should allow you to search this—”
I can’t take it anymore, I pull out the gun and push it against Benjamin’s bandaged nose. He winces in pain. “What happened to your face, man? Did you fall down the stairs?”
“Security!” Benjamin calls out.
“Zack, stop!” Luciana says, moving to my side and pushing my gun down. I can see her jaw clenched in frustration. “He’s new,” she explains to Benjamin. “I’m so sorry, he’s still pretty messed up after Afghanistan. Maybe he needs more time to recuperate before working for me,” she says with an annoyed sideways glance, before looking back at Benjamin. “If you don’t mind, he’ll wait outside while I search your house?”
“No, it’s fine,” Benjamin says, holding his nose and frowning. “Both of you can search the whole damn house. You’ll see I have nothing to hide.”
“Great,” Luciana says, heading down to the basement. “Zack, you take upstairs.”
I nod and put away the gun, and glare at Benjamin suspiciously as I move up the stairs. He has two security guards standing on either side of him now, while he holds his nose.
“Young man,” he tells me softly. “I’d watch who you talk to like that.”
“I’m going to find her,” I tell him. “And if you’ve hurt a hair on her head, you’re going to pay.”
Benjamin smiles. “It’s too bad,” he says quietly. “Even if you find her, she’ll still be married to Cole Hunter.”
I frown. “Cole Hunter is dead.”
“Yes. And what a shame,” Benjamin says, with no emotion on his face. “If only that made it easier for you to get the girl.”
He knows too much. He looks at me in a way that makes me feel as if he is looking through me. I am left feeling so disgusted and creeped out that I nearly run upstairs to get away from that man. I begin searching thoroughly, in every room and closet—even tapping walls to look for hollow spaces. When I turn back to go downstairs, I pause for a moment taking several deep breaths and touching my gun. It would be so easy.
It would be so easy to just end him.
I could shoot the maid and the security guards too. I don’t really care. I’ve been required to kill enough civilians, children, and innocent bystanders that this would be just a drop in the bucket.
But it wouldn’t get her back.
Closing my eyes briefly, I head back downstairs.
“See?” Benjamin says. “Nothing to hide.”
“Thanks for letting us look,” Luciana says. “I’m so sorry for the trouble. And for my overzealous colleague.”
“No worries,” Benjamin says with a wink.
He actually winked at me.
I swallow with rage, following Luciana out the door.
When we get into her car, I am fuming mad. “I could have killed him. I should have killed him.”
“Jesus, Zack. Calm the fuck down. What if he has her tied up somewhere no one else knows? If you killed him and it took us too long to find her, she could die of thirst or starvation. Situations like this require more finesse.” Luciana puts the car in gear and drives away with a shrug. “That’s why I snuck into his garage and put trackers on all his cars. Wherever he’s holding her—we will figure it out.”
“And then I’m going to put a bullet in his head,” I say softly.
“Once we find her,” Luciana says. “Be my guest.”
Chapter Eighteen
Cole Hunter, 2016
Knocking briskly on the door of the small apartment, I frown.
"Coming, coming. Hold your horses."
When the door slides open, my friend's eyes are half-closed and he is only wearing a pair of boxers. He peers at me crossly. "What's up, Cole? It’s the middle of the night."
"I'm coming in," I say, walking past Detective Rodriguez and into his apartment. I begin pacing back and forth through his messy bachelor pad, which is challenging due to its small size and high amount of clutter. Still, I manage to pace, and stress, and overthink things, and only increase my anxiety and discomfort.
“This better be important,” he says, crossing his arms and tapping his foot. “I was having a good dream. A really good dream.”
“I just found out some… stuff,” I tell him. “You’re the only one who could…” I try to explain, but I just give up and begin pacing again.
“Cole, man. What’s up? You’re burning a hole in my cheap carpet.”
Sighing deeply, I move over to his kitchen and help myself to a bottle of water. “My parents were in the mafia.”
“What?! Whoa. Dude, you just got so much cooler.”
“No, Roddy. My parents were also killed by the mafia. By their own parents.”
“Oh,” says my friend, blinking. “Well, revenge mission time? I could be down for that. I have some vacation days coming up soon.”
“No. There’s more,” I tell him, opening the bottle. “The reason I’m really here.”
“What’s that?”
Drinking a few gulps of water, I frown. “Scar’s missing.”
“What the hell? Why wouldn’t you lead with that?”
“It’s probably Benjamin.”
“Well, obviously—I told you about the interrogation, right? I was worried something like this might happen. I can try to help if you fill me in on the details.”
“It happened in Michigan,” I explain to him. “Not your jurisdiction. And Luciana’s working on it.”
“She is?” he says with interest, clearing his throat. “Well, like I said, I do have some vacation days coming up.”
“Roddy, why did I let her go alone? I had a bad feeling about this. I should have known.”
“Don’t beat yourself up, man. That girl of yours is a firecracker, and if she wants to do something alone… it’s hard to talk sense into her.”
“We just found each other again,” I say quietly, moving to sit in his couch. “Things were just getting good. Really good. Like, better than they’ve ever been.”
Rodriguez sighs. “Look, man. Scarlett is a badass. We both know she can take care of herself. Don’t beat yourself up.”
“It’s my fault, Roddy. She came looking for me. She was out—she was gone. She was safe. Living her
life in a new city, under a new name. I always knew there was a chance Benjamin could find her again. I knew that he was looking. So, by faking my death and throwing a temper tantrum like a little bitch—I dragged her right back into harm’s way. I led her right to him.” Getting up, I begin pacing again. I move into my friend’s bathroom, and tighten the taps to keep them from dripping. Then, noticing that his mirror is dirty, I grab some toilet paper and begin to clean it.
“Cole, what are you doing? Are you cleaning my bathroom?”
“No,” I tell him, stopping abruptly. Gripping the sides of his sink, I stare down into the basin.
“Look, man. She walked a thousand miles to find you in the middle of the desert, right? Let this be your chance to do something for her. Let’s just find her—wherever she is, and save her. Show her that you care just as much as she does. Show her that you’re willing to sacrifice for her, too.”
“But what if it’s too late? What if I’ve already fucked this up, Roddy? She could be dead. But—there are worse things than death. And I know what that man did to her, when she was a kid.” Swallowing, I move back through Rodriguez’ apartment. Seeing a few messy piles of CDs, I crouch down and begin stacking them neatly. “She’s never been okay. She’s never been emotionally healthy. She’s never been… all there. You don’t just get over something like that, you know? She carries it with her. And I haven’t always been understanding, or sensitive, like I needed to be.”
“Are you arranging my CD collection in alphabetical order?” Rodriguez asks. “Cole, you need to calm down—you’re going all Martha Stewart on me.”
“We were supposed to have a baby,” I tell Rodriguez, swallowing the lump in my throat. “It’s the reason she left me. She got all depressed, because it reminded her of the awful pregnancy she had at age 12, when Benjamin raped her.”
“Jesus Christ,” Rodriguez says.
Staring at the CDs vacantly, I nod. “You know what she told me a few days ago, in Nevada? He locked her in a room, and refused to let her get an abortion. So, she used a coat hanger on herself.”
Rodriguez is silent for a few seconds. “God,” he whispers. “That poor girl.”
I feel like I want to cry, but no tears will come. Standing up, I move over to his small bookcase, and begin organizing the volumes. My hand pauses on a particular book that strikes a chord in my memory. Wizard’s First Rule by Terry Goodkind. My heart aches as I remember how much Scarlett loved that damn book.
“You gave this to me at our wedding,” I tell Rodriquez softly. “It was one of her favorites. She must have read it over and over a dozen times over the years. Every time she got depressed.”
“It’s a great book,” he says hoarsely. “A great series.”
When I feel a hand on my back, I turn to my friend grimly. “I can’t let her get hurt anymore. I’m supposed to protect her. Instead, I’ve been a useless fucking waste of space, and now he’s hurting her again—I can feel it, Roddy. I know you’re gonna say I’m crazy, but I can feel it. I can feel how much she’s hurting, and I don’t know if she’ll ever be the same after this, even if she does survive. She’ll be destroyed. Completely destroyed. And I’ll never be able to put the pieces back together—because those pieces haven’t been together in decades. She’s been broken for so long—and I’ve done nothing to help her.”
“Cole,” Rodriguez says, grasping my shoulder and giving me a hard shake. “Thank you for organizing my CDs and books, man, but you need to get a grip.”
“I should have killed him. I had the chance. Why didn’t I just kill him?”
“Come here,” Rodriguez says, taking my arm and dragging me over to his balcony. He slides the door open. “Go outside.”
“If you’re going to push me off, then I deserve it. But your plants need water, so first let me get…”
“Cole! You need to breathe. Sit down, right here, and look out at the city, and breathe.”
I look down at where he’s pointing, and back at the nearly dead plants. “This cactus—”
“We’re in a drought, fuck the plants. Sit down, Cole.”
Something in the tone of his voice makes me listen to him, so I do sit down. Only then do I realize that my heart is racing and I am hyperventilating.
“Okay,” Rodriguez says, crouching down beside me. “I want you to take good, long, deep breaths that make your chest expand completely. I want you to hold it, and breathe out. And I want you to clear your mind, and think about Scarlett, and offer her your strength.”
“You want me to pray?” I ask him.
“Cole, I don’t give a fuck what you call it. But you’re going crazy because you feel powerless. You feel like there’s nothing you can do to help. Well, I’m telling you, that if you can feel her pain, then she can feel yours. You guys have a crazy connection—I’ve seen it. I’ve seen her feel the truth about you from miles away. I’ve seen her know it in an instant, instinctively.” Rodriguez puts a hand on my shoulder. “So, you need to be strong for her, now. Be steady. Reach out to her, and send her your love. Let her know that you’re with her. Because you’re not powerless. You’re Cole Hunter—the most amazing guy I know. So just calm down, and remember who you are. Calm down, and be the man you need to be. I know he’s in there somewhere. Just—look at the buildings. Look at the skyline. That always helps you focus.”
I nod, taking deep breaths like he instructed. I look out at the skyline, until I feel my body relaxing, and I feel my mind start to grow clear. My thoughts are less chaotic, and I can fight through the mess of emotions and fears, to find the strength.
I sit here for a few minutes, breathing, and thinking, and feeling. Until my phone rings in my pocket. Reaching for it, I see that it is Zack calling and I quickly answer. “Did you find her?”
“No, but I think we have a pretty good lead,” he says. “We’re in upstate New York. If you want to come help out, fly into Rochester or Syracuse, or anywhere around here. Just take the first flight that you can get and I’ll text you the details.”
“Okay,” I tell him, standing up. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Hurry,” Zack says quietly, before hanging up.
His voice gives me a shiver.
“Hey,” Rodriguez says from the balcony doors. “I’m coming along.”
“You don’t have to,” I tell my friend.
“I believe you owe me a bunch of favors for faking your death, so I demand you let me help you find your wife. And avenge your parents, after that.”
“Roddy, those aren’t favors. That’s you doing me more favors.”
“What if I said I only wanted to help you find Scarlett so I could try to pick up Luciana again?”
A small smile touches my lips. “You’d be lying. But she’s probably frantic, so maybe you’ll have a shot this time.”
“Maybe. Hey! Are you saying my game is so bad that a woman has to be in a messed up emotional state in order to agree to date me?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, buddy,” I say, slapping his shoulder gently. “Come on, let’s get going. Hopefully my fake ID works.”
“It should be fine.”
I am heading for the door of his apartment when a pain strikes me in my chest. Turning back to look at my friend in the eyes, I pause. “I really need to find her, man. Today. I can’t deal with this uncertainty—it’s killing me.”
“I know,” Rodriguez says. “I don’t know how you do it, Cole. If I loved someone like that, I’m pretty sure it would have killed me already.”
Chapter Nineteen
Serena
I am dead asleep when I hear the door unlocking. Lifting myself up on my elbows, I look to my side to make sure that Joy is safe. At least I am finally wearing more than a bedsheet, because Benjamin had the decency to bring me a dress in my size. It is a yellow nightgown that is partially transparent, but it is better than no clothes at all.
But as I stare at the doorknob turning, I grit my teeth together in preparation for ano
ther long day. These tricks are not going to work on me. I am not going to start warming up to him just because he is being a little more considerate. Even rapists are capable of small kindnesses, and this shouldn’t excuse or erase any of the other things they do.
When Benjamin pushes the door open, I peer forward at his hand in surprise.
Something is wrong. He seems different. More tanned. More muscled. As the arm connected to the hand on the doorknob pushes it in, and the man steps forward, I gasp out loud.
I am already throwing my legs off the bed and running forward before my brain can process this information. I recognize the shape of his face, the curve of his smile.
“Hey, Scar,” he says softly as he holds his arms out to me. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“Cole. Oh my god.” I rush at him, throw my arms around his neck. I hug him so tightly, so fiercely. I do not even realize that I have launched myself at him so hard that he is lifting me clean off the floor when he hugs me back.
I feel weightless in his embrace. I feel warm and safe.
And then... I feel a prickle in my stomach.
A little pang of anxiety.
When my feet touch the floor, I step back to examine him, placing my hands on either side of his face. “How did you find me?”
“I followed the breadcrumbs,” he says proudly. “Like Hansel and Gretel.”
“Cole,” I say hoarsely, wrapping my arms around him again. “You’re not really here at all, are you?”
He pauses. “No, Scar. I’m not. You’re only dreaming.”
I smile and nod, fighting away tears. “I thought as much. But it’s really good to see you, anyway.”
“Who is the little girl?” Cole asks me, as he looks toward the bed.
“Oh,” I say softly. “I don’t know. I won’t know for sure until we get out of here, and I can do a DNA test on her. But she might actually be... my daughter.”
Cole stares at me skeptically. “Your daughter?” he repeats in confusion.
“Come over here,” I say, taking his hand and leading him over to the bed where Joy is sleeping. “This is going to sound insane, but she might actually be our daughter. And even if she isn’t, I think she should be.” I smile sadly at Cole. “If one good thing can come out of this whole situation—if it could give us a little girl, then maybe I can look back on this whole disaster and think that I was meant to go through this. For her. Maybe there was some reason in it all. I really think we could change her life.”
