by Valia Lind
I've never felt abandoned by Liam. Just sad that he wasn't there in school. He's one of my closest friends, the first guy that I've been this comfortable with and someone who's kept my secrets better than anyone else. Of course I'd be bummed he wasn't there. But I could never fault him for doing his duty.
"I still wish I could've done more."
"And you're doing it now."
He's stood by me through all of this, I can't believe he would be feeling like this. But I guess that shows that no one is immune to self doubt. Not even beings as powerful as the fae.
"I hope it works," he says and I give his hand a quick squeeze before letting go.
I do too.
I stand in front of the open doorway, sweat pooling at the back of my neck. I'm so nervous this won't work. I'm so nervous it will, but the queen will know somehow and come take me away. Every single bad scenario is rushing through my mind and it's like I can't change the channel.
"Are you ready?" Liam asks, coming up to stand beside me. Not trusting myself to speak, I nod. He steps up to the doorway, and I can feel his magic in the air. Fae have a certain frequency about them. Ever since I started using story spell casting, I've been more attuned to the magics around me. He mumbles something in a language I don't understand, before waving his hand in front of the doorway.
At first, nothing happens. And then, the longer we wait, the more disheartened I become. Liam says something else, but I can see that it's not working. I'm ready to turn away when I heart it. A voice.
"Liam?" Nolan, Liam's brother steps up on the other side of the doorway, just as a ripple of magic washes over the empty space. It's as if a coin has been tossed into the water in the middle of the doorway and the ripple effect opens up the way.
"Nolan!" Liam and I say at the same time, stepping closer to the doorway. The older brother gives us a shocked look, before he races out of the frame. I move to follow, but Liam grabs my hand.
"We can't. It wouldn't open as a doorway. Just a...video chat."
I nod, letting him know I understand. It's probably why it didn't work right away. We're already playing with fire here. This is a dangerous endeavor. But then, I hear another voice and I don't care about the danger.
"Maddie!" Bri, my oldest sister runs into the frame, with Harper right behind her. I stare at my sisters, tear springing up in my eyes and falling down my cheeks. I don't even care that everyone can see me crying, I'm just so happy to see them.
"Bri, Harper, hi!" I manage, hiccuping over my tears. Liam steps beside me and I grab his hand, just so I can stay grounded on this side of the door. I'm afraid that if I even get a little too close, it might disappear.
"We've been so worried, Maddie," Harper begins, words tripping over themselves. "Your school disappeared. No one knew what happened. We've been scrying, but nothing. We thought you..." she pauses, trying to compose herself, and I realize she's crying too. Harper is the middle sister and she's always been the outgoing one, but also the one that keeps her emotions in check. She's not being so careful now.
"We thought you disappeared like dad," Bri finishes and I hear what they're not saying. They thought I was dead.
"Oh my gosh!" I exclaim, everything I need to tell them tumbling out at once. "I know where dad is! Well, kind of. He's here in Faery. Which is where I am. It's too much to get into and I'm not sure how long we have, but I accidentally transported the whole school, along with its campus, to Faery. Apparently I have story spell casting and the Ancient's were close, so I did a spell and here we are. But now everyone is sick and we're trying to find a cure. And I'm not sure what to do. I miss you. Where is Mama? I miss you all so much."
My sisters just stare at me for a moment, trying to digest everything I dumped on them. And then they start talking at the same time.
"Dad is there?" "Do you know where in Faery?" "What kind of sickness?" "Are you using story spell casting? Because that's dangerous."
"I know!" I raise my hands, trying to ward off their worry. "I'm trying not to use the casting, but I might have to. It's another long story, but an Oracle gave me this cure," I pull out the little bottle I've been carrying with me everywhere. "It's only good for one person and I don't know what to do. How do I choose who to save? And how do I get us out of this mess? I wish you were here. I made a mess of everything. I can't handle it. I can't handle all this responsibility. No one asked me, they just made me the center of it all and I keep making the wrong decisions."
There's a moment of silence and then Bri takes a step closer to the portal.
"Maddie, you can handle this. You are a Hawthorne. Never forget where you come from. That's Hawthorne blood in your veins, and that's our family's brain in your head. Use that brain and that heart to guide you. We may not be there physically, but we are a part of you. You are not alone."
I take a deep breath, now crying more fully as I let Bri's words of encouragement settle over me. I'm having a pity party for myself, now that my sisters are in front of me. I don't even care that Liam can see.
"So who do I save?"
"Who do you want to save?"
"Everyone."
"Maddie," this comes from Harper, "Be honest with yourself. Who do you want to save?"
I know what she's asking, but I'm not sure I'm ready to give her that answer. I'm not sure I'm ready to admit it to myself. But I know I have to. They can't help me if I'm so stubborn I keep lying to myself.
"Aiden," I finally say, just his name on my lips feeling like too much. "And Jade. And Ben. I don't want to have to choose between them."
"But you already have. Your heart clearly belongs to one." Harper smiles, and it's a sweet smile of someone who knows that kind of a connection to another being.
"How do I sacrifice one over the other? I love them all. They're my friends." And that's not even half of it. They've become more than friends. They're family.
"Every choice you make will sacrifice someone. It's up to you to decide."
"That's not helpful."
"Maybe I can help." Another voice reaches me and then Krista steps into the frame. She's been Harper's best friend since basically birth, which means she's an unofficial third sister to me.
"What do you mean?" I ask, a note of hopefulness entering my voice. I was going to ask them about her and what she did for the town. My mind was so overwhelmed at seeing my sisters, I forgot all about it.
"This Aiden," she begins, and I cock my head to the side in confusion. "He means a lot to you?"
I glance over at Liam, and he squeezes my hand in encouragement. It really is past time I stop running from my feelings.
"He does."
"How much?"
"I don't know."
"I think you do."
I pause for a moment and then decide to just lay it all on the line. I can't keep doing this to myself.
"I asked for certain guidance," I begin, once again unable to mention the library. "But what I received was a story. About a prince and a fair maiden. Soulmates."
"Ah," Krista smiles, just as my sisters exchange a look.
"What?"
"Maddie," Krista begins, looking me straight in the eye. "When I healed the town from the sickness, it was because the soulmate magic unlocked something in me. I had to come to terms with who I was and what I was willing to do. I thought I'd have to sacrifice myself for Nolan, and when I trusted him and accepted that, our bond was solidified. You should trust your heart and the magic to see if maybe this boy is more than you think."
"You think, if he's my soulmate, maybe I can heal them too?"
"I don't know, Maddie." Krista shrugs, a movement so like Harper that it brings fresh tears to my eyes. They're all together, and I'm so far away. "But I know that we have to trust what is in our hearts. Either way, you will know. Your magic will guide you."
Maybe this is what I truly needed. A bit of a pep talk, because they haven't really said anything I didn't already know.
"Mads, we have to hurry," Liam suddenly says
and I look up to see the portal ripple.
"Look," I say, needing to get as much of this out as I can. "I have no idea where dad is, just that he's here. If there is a way for you to find out more information, please do."
"We're on it," Bri replies.
"Is the spell still holding?" I ask, since I know the spell I helped my sisters put over the town isn't a permanent solution.
"It's holding, and we're still fighting off some attacks. Other places haven't been as lucky. The Ancients are sneaky. They infiltrate where they can."
"Don't we know it," I glance over at Liam and he gives my hand another squeeze. I told him about Christie, so he knows what she's done.
"Maddie," Bri's voice brings my attention back to her. "I know you're scared. And I know you haven't been to see your friends. You're a lot more like me than you think," Bri adds when I open my mouth to ask how she could possibly know that. "Go see your friends. Make decisions by trusting who you are. You will make mistakes. There's no going around that. But you will learn with each one. We will see what we can do on our end about your predicament. And we'll look for dad. We love you."
"We love you." Harper and Krista echo.
"How is Mama?" I ask, just as the portal ripples again.
"She's stronger than all of us," Bri replies. "But she misses you and dad. She loves you."
"Tell her I love her. I love you."
And then, the portal closes.
8
I stand frozen, staring at the now empty doorway, tears still flowing freely down my cheeks. After I don't know how long, I feel Liam move toward me and then I'm the one who basically throws myself at him. He catches me easily and holds me close, letting me cry all my frustrations out.
"Thank you for that," I finally say, pulling back and wiping at my face. I probably look ridiculous, puffy and red, but he doesn't seem to mind.
"We'll try again. I don't know if it'll work, but maybe if we're careful."
"Thank you," I repeat and I realize I'm thanking a fae but it doesn't matter. I need him to know just how much that meant to me. He wipes at the lone tear trailing down my face and gives me a small smile.
"Anytime. Now, I think we should stay here for the rest of the night and set off first thing in the morning."
"You sure it's safe?"
I'm afraid the queen will know of what we did and will come to take me away. I only banished her from the academy grounds. Here she can reach me.
"I think it's safer than wandering the woods," he replies. "This place is more protected than most. When Nolan was still banished, he could come and visit here. It's been spelled."
That makes sense. Nolan is Liam's half brother and I know he wasn't allowed in Faery for a very long time. There's a lot of family drama that Liam had to live through. I don't know the half of it.
"Okay."
Liam leads me to a huge poster bed that can probably fit ten people and pulls back the covers. I take off my shoes and get under, before I reach over and pull the covers back on the other side. Liam glances over, waves a hand making the lights go out and then he's getting in beside me. Flipping onto my back, we lay like that for a while, until I think he's asleep.
"You know, what they said about Aiden?" Liam's voice reaches me in the dark. "I think it's true."
"Why?" I'm almost afraid of the answer, but I ask the question anyway.
"I've seen a lot of magic in my day, Mads. You and him? You have a special kind of a connection when you're around each other."
My heart squeezes and I think I'm going to burst from all these emotions.
"He's promised to another."
"It's a business contract. Nothing more."
"You don't even know..."
"I do know how he feels," Liam interrupts, clearly reading my mind on that one. "I think everyone else can tell, besides you two."
My mind instantly goes to the kiss we shared and how it made the world right again. Ever since I've met Aiden, there was an undeniable pull between us. But I never would've imagined anything as great as fate.
"Why are you so nice to me, Liam?" I ask, turning towards him, so I'm laying on my side. He doesn't hesitate with his answer, while he turns toward me as well. I can barely make out his outline in the darkness.
"Because you're my best friend and I don't have many friends at all."
He says it so matter of factly, but that just makes it so much sadder. This boy, this fae, deserves much more than he's been given. I reach across the bed and find his arm, running my fingers down to the wrist, before I grip his hand.
"I can't imagine growing up in two worlds the way you did," I whisper, and I hear him exhale. It must've been lonely, not belonging to either place. Fae aren't known to be too affectionate as it is, and both Liam and Nolan had to suffer that.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm only looking forward."
He sounds so strong and so brave. I squeeze his hand, letting him know without words that he means so much to me. I've never had a brother, but I imagine this is what it would feel like. Having someone at your back, knowing that they have your best interest in mind. And then, I realize that I want to say the words.
"You're my best friend too, Liam. That's now and forever."
It's a promise to a fae, but it's a promise I intend to keep. When the sleep finally comes, I'm still holding his hand.
We wake up early, and head back to Thunderbird Academy without any major issues. I slept better than I had in days. There were no disturbing dreams for once. I'm not sure if it's because I saw my family or because Liam was right there beside me. Either way, I'm a little sharper and I'm thankful, considering what I have to do today.
"Are you sure about this?" Liam asks, as we reach my room with absolutely no issues. The academy isn't even awake yet. He takes a seat on my bed, while I look for fresh clothes. Liam got to change at his house, but I feel uncomfortable.
"It's the only choice I have right now," I shrug, before I duck into the shower. In almost no time at all, I'm dressed, with my wet hair braided, and Liam and I are heading to the headmaster's office.
Sometimes during the night, I've decided to give the elixir to Headmaster Marković. The school needs him. The disarray has already began, and it's only been two days. I've heard more arguments before dinner yesterday then I have in days. People have noticed his absence and it's not sitting well with them. He needs to be here to keep everyone calm. It pains me to make this choice, but my sisters told me to trust my magic and my upbringing. That's what I'm doing here.
"Headmaster Marković?" I knock on the door, with Liam by my side. I think we've decided to stick together a little more, without really talking about it. Maybe he's nervous to see what I'd do if left alone. I am becoming more reckless. When the headmaster doesn't answer, I push the door open, slipping inside.
The office is even darker than last time. Liam closes the door behind us and leans against the wood.
"Whoa."
"I know what you mean," I mumble, before raising my voice a little, "Headmaster Marković? I brought you something to make you better."
"Miss Hawthorne," the voice comes somewhere from the direction of the desk, but it sounds nothing like Headmaster Marković. The voice is so raspy and old, it's like he's aged a hundred years in a day. "What is it?"
Taking a quick breath to calm my nerves, I step closer to the desk, my hand closing around the vile in my pocket.
"You need to drink this," I say, thrusting the vile in the general direction of where I think the headmaster is. After what seems like an eternity, an old wrinkled hand reaches out to grab it. The rough skin feels gross against my own, and I surrender the bottle immediately.
"It will work?"
"It will."
Of course, I'm not too sure. But I can't exactly tell him that. A lot of magic relies on confidence. Maybe if he truly believes it it'll work, it will get the job done. At least, that's what I'm hoping. I take a hurried step back, until I reach Liam.
"Feel b
etter."
And then we make our escape.
Maybe I should've stayed longer and watched him actually take the medicine. But I couldn't stand being in that office any longer. There was so much heaviness in there, I had to get out. Liam seems to share my sentiment. We exchange a quick look and I wonder if it would be too much to ask to go back to my room, so I can shower again. But I immediately decide against it.
"What now?" Liam asks, as we leave the headmaster's office behind.
"Now, we try out that other thing my sisters talked about."
He nods in reply and we head to the wing of the school with all the sick people. It really is past time I stop running. I'm about to see my friends.
9
We start slow. We head to Jade's area first. She looks like I remember her, but also worse. Her skin is too pale, her lips too purple. It's as if her whole body has been painted in some otherworldly hues. I want to reach out and take her hand, but I'm not allowed. If there's a chance this spreads by contact, I've already had plenty of that. But I stick to the rule, if only to keep myself from being kicked out. I sit with her for a little bit, talking about nothing at all.
We go see Ben next. He looks much worse. Him and Noel are near each other and it hurts my heart to see them so unresponsive. One day, they're so full of life, and the next, they're barely clinging to it. I can't wrap my mind around that and I don't want to. I want to fix it.
"Do you want some privacy?" Liam asks, as we reach Aiden's room. Since he got sick after the majority of others, he's been kept in his own room this whole time. I shake my head no.
"It works or it doesn't. I want you there."
When we step inside, I notice right away how dull the space looks. It's not that it doesn't look lived in, like any boys room would. It's just it's missing something, and that something is lying unresponsive in his bed.
Walking over to him, I almost stop and flee. If it was heavy in the other room, it's almost unbearable here. Aiden is the alpha. He's the strongest of the pack. But here he looks like he's wasting away.
