by Valia Lind
His skin is so pale, it's nearly translucent. I can see just how difficult it is for him to take each breath, his chest rising and falling in jerks. For some reason, he's so much worse off than Jade.
"He's so sick. And he got it after the others." I comment, coming to stand near the bed. Liam remains at the door, and doesn't speak. When I glance over at him, he gives me a small shrug, before transferring his gaze back to Aiden. It's his way of encouraging me, because we both know why I'm here.
Taking a seat on the bed, I reach for Aiden's hand. But before I can take it, I stop. It seems like such an intimate gesture and a part of me is still questioning just how much I mean to him. Or maybe I'm just scared of how much he means to me. Not sure if it matters either way. This whole soulmate thing, I don't really believe in it. Which is strange considering I've seen it with my own eyes. Maybe it's that I don't think I deserve it, but I have to give it a try anyway.
"Hi Aiden," I begin, not really sure what I'm doing. It's not like I got a set of steps to follow. Even Krista wasn't that much of help. But I thought that maybe I can make my magic do the work for me.
"This is strange, I know. I don't even know if you can hear me. But I've been looking for answers. And everyone seems to be telling me about this soulmates thing." I swallow hard, looking over at Liam, and he gives me an encouraging nod. It might've been easier to get this all out if he wasn't here, but I find his presence more comforting somehow. As if, maybe his belief in this thing can me it happen even if mine can't. Not sure when I've become such a cynic, but if I had to guess, I'd say it was about the time my school ended up in Faery.
"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, Aiden. I could've saved you, but I gave the one cure we had to the headmaster. It felt like I didn't have a choice. He's an elder. He needs to keep this place together in a way no one else can. And Jade. Ben. Noel. They all need it and I don't know if I'm making the right decisions, but I'm doing the best I can."
I take another deep breath, trying to keep myself from panicking.
"I talked to my family, thanks to Liam. Krista, my sister's best friend, battled a similar sickness in Hawthorne and won. She said the connection she felt for Nolan opened up a magic inside of her that she didn't know she possessed. So I should do the same. I should be honest.
So here it goes. You're the most frustrating boy I know," I hiccup, tears running down my cheeks as I try to form the words. "I have never felt so much until I met you. You push me outside of my comfort zone, you help me when I'm too stubborn to ask for help. You have a tendency to get under my skin, but you also help me see myself in the best light possible. If I knew story spell casting would work and not make you worse, I would use it in a heartbeat. Even knowing the risks to myself. I..." I pause, not ready to say the words. "I won't say it until you wake up, okay? There's something you need to know but you need to wake up so I can tell you to your face. Do you hear me, Aiden? I need you to wake up so I can tell you."
Having spent all the words I had stored up but the three, I take his hand into both of mine and open up my magic. It flows through me and over him, like a blanket tucked over his body. I close my eyes, focusing on the intention, on healing him from inside out. The magic shifts back and forth, between us, and I don't know how long we sit like that. Until I'm completely spent.
"Hey," Liam is there to catch me when I slouch down, dropping Aiden's hand in the process.
"I'm okay."
"You're anything but okay. Let's get you to rest."
"I can't, I have to..."
I glance over to Aiden, hoping to see some difference in his coloring at least. My heartbeat speeds up as I watch him take a breath, but then, his body jerks and all hope vanishes.
"It was stupid for us to try," I say, getting to my feet. Liam reaches for me, as I stumble, keeping me upright.
"It was good of you to try. You've exhausted yourself. You just need rest."
"No," I say, as we make our way out of Aiden's room. I can't even bring myself to look at him again. I feel like such a failure. "I need water."
Liam seems to understand, so instead of heading for my room, we head outside. I cling to my friend, trying to keep the tears at bay. If I felt like a failure before, nothing compares to how I'm feeling now.
Liam helps me to the bank of the pond, before leaving. I know he wants to stay, but I need to be alone. The tears won't stop, just like the blame. I blame myself for everything. If only I was smarter, braver, stronger...maybe I could do something to help my friends. But all I've done is bring false hope to my world.
Reaching for the water, I submerge my hand almost up to my elbow. The cool liquid feels nice against my overheated skin, as much as it soothes my magic. Maybe I can just stay here forever. Half in the water, crying myself to full exhaustion. I'll just lay here until nothing else matters.
Sitting up, I take off my shoes and jacket, before I lower myself into the water. There's a small hiss in the air, as if my body is actually giving off a bit of steam. My magic begins doing summersaults all over my essence, ecstatic to be in the water. The connection to nature is the strongest when I'm like this, and my magic can feel it. Leaning back, I begin to float, giving the magic the time it needs to replenish.
Being in the water, I start thinking about all the things that happened to me in the last four months. In the last year, really. I've come so far, have learned so much. I've grown as a witch and as a person. But now, here I am, in the pits of my despair, being all dramatic and sad. If my sisters could see me now they'd say I need to get out of my funk and act like a Hawthorne.
Funny enough, when this school year started, that's what I was most afraid of. Being compared to my sisters. Now I wish I was half as good as they. Taking a deep breath, I plunge into the water, frustrated at myself for all this self pity I'm feeling. Completely surrounded by water, I swim farther and farther down, enjoying the quiet. It's as if there's a barrier between me and the rest of the world, and it's the safe haven I've been looking for. I can stay here forever and hide from the world.
The moment the thought enters my mind, I push myself to the surface. Breaking through, I tread the water, wiping the droplets from my eyes. I can't believe I would think such a thing. It's the most giving up thought I could've had and I'm ashamed at myself for thinking so. This is not who my mother and father raised me to be. Through this whole ordeal, with every battle I had to fight in this war, I resolved on being strong and doing what needs to be done. But here I am, being nothing but a whiny kid.
"I'm sorry," I say the words out loud, because I need to hear them. "This is not the kind of a witch I want to be. This is very unlike Hawthorne of me. I'm stronger than this and I will prove it."
I have no idea who I'm making the promise to. Myself? My heritage? But it feels like exactly what I need. Because no matter what happens next, I will have to fight and I can't spend my time feeling sorry for myself or my situation. I am stronger than that and I'm determined not to lose sight of that again. It's the easiest thing, to become bogged down by all the problems. But it's the strong person who pushes past the weight and rises anyway. That's who I want to be. I will study harder, push myself more, and I will figure out this sickness. Then, I'll figure out how to protect myself from the queen so I can go search for my dad.
As if my magic hears my promise, it opens up. It flows freely out of me, filling the pond with it's power. I smile, before taking another deep breath and diving under the surface. Somehow, that small pep talk lifted a thousand pounds off my shoulders. I just needed a moment with my magic and a stern talking to, apparently. Flipping around, I dance a little, surrounded by the water, as my magic continues to grow around me. It's as if it's feeling better as well. It's so easy to forget just how much you can handle, when everything seems to be going wrong. But I'm going to try to keep it all together. And I'm not alone. I have to remember that too.
When I break the surface for the second time, I feel lighter somehow. Swimming over to the shore, I pull m
yself out of the water and then use my magic to dry off. Putting my shoes on, I shrug on my jacket. My plan is to go back to the sick wing of the academy and try again. Or maybe, just sit with my friends for a little while. I'm done hiding from them too.
But as I turn to go back to the school, something stops me. A ripple of unease in the air, a tug on my magic. Slowly I turn, scanning the area around me, trying to pinpoint where it's coming from. That's when I see her. Queen Amaryllis steps out of the shadows at the edge of the woods, watching me steadily. She can't enter the actual campus, but she's come as far as the magic allows.
Without hesitation, I move towards her, needing to know what brought her this far. She wouldn't have ventured out here if it wasn't important. Maybe the Ancients have reached the border. Maybe the queen found a cure. A hundred scenarios rush through my mind, as I stop a few feet in front of her.
"You are causing problems again, Madison Hawthorne," the queen says, her gaze as cold as ice. Confused, I furrow my brow, unsure of what she means. She might know about my venture into the woods to see the Oracle, but I don't see how that's a problem.
"I have no idea what you mean," I decide to be honest. My guard is still up, for I don't trust this fae and never will, but I need her to be truthful with me.
"Are you really that dim or do you truly not know what you have been doing?" She cocks her head to the side, studying my face, and it's difficult not to fidget under her scrutiny. I raise my chin a notch, keeping my gaze leveled with hers. It takes so much out of me, but I'm not flinching.
"Maybe explain yourself, Your Highness, before you start throwing accusations around." I say, folding my arms in front of me. She watches me for a moment longer, before replying.
"You really have no idea about the amount of magic you just sent out? The whole court felt it. Whatever games you are playing, Madison Hawthorne, you better be careful. Your little banishing spell will not last forever." She seems to want to say something else, but then her eyes zero in on a spot over my shoulder. Not completely trusting her, I allow my battle magic to flare up at my fingertips, before turning around. What I see almost makes me stumble. Not caring about the queen, I leave her behind and sprint forward. The moment I reach Jade I throw my arms around her, as she hugs me just as tightly.
"You're okay," I mumble into her shoulder. "You're okay."
"Thanks to you."
"What?" I pull back, giving her a quick once over. She looks a little pale, but well otherwise.
"I felt your magic, Maddie. You healed me. Us. You healed us." She points behind her and that's when I see Noel, Ben and Vera walking towards us. The moment they see me, they take off running, and then I'm being hugged and we're tumbling to the ground and it's the best feeling in the world. I don't even notice the queen retreating into the woods.
10
Everyone is talking at once, but I don't care. Just the sound of their voices makes me smile. We're still sitting in the grass, near the pond, as they bombard me with a million questions. I try not to dwell on the fact that Aiden is not here. But I see other students walking out of the school, so it seems everyone has been healed.
"I don't know how it happened. I thought...I tried something but it didn't work." I say, swallowing around the lump that's growing in my throat. Glancing over at Ben, he notices my look and gives me a firm nod. He knows what I'm asking without having to say the words. So Aiden is healed. He just didn't bother to come with the rest of my friends.
"Maybe it was just a delayed reaction," Jade replies, squeezing my hand tightly. I'm still a little amazed that she could feel it was my magic that did it. But she has always been very sensitive to people's magics. I think that's why Christie never used any around her, or we would've been able to tell she was going to betray us. Before anyone else can say another word, the three chimes sound from the academy and the robotic voice announces a meeting.
"That was expected," Vera comments, as we all get to our feet. I'm a little surprised she came out here with the rest of them, instead of going to her shifter friends. But maybe we have reached a new friendship status with her too. We begin to make our way toward the school, and I'm the last to follow. Noel waits for Jade, and then, ever so carefully, reaches for her hand. The gesture makes me smile, because I've been waiting for this. It's a little sad this is what it took for him to finally be brave enough, but I've learned people react differently to trials. I, apparently, went on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. From brave and strong to a mini depression to hopefully brave again. It seems I'm constantly fighting a personal battle, in the midst of all my other battles.
"I knew you could do it," Ben comments, falling into step beside me. I bump my shoulder with his, giving him a small smile. He doesn't have to be a mind reader to know what's on my mind. "He gave me permission to come find you. He stayed with the pack."
My heart squeezes to hear the words, now knowing that he is truly awake and well. But it doesn't diminish the hurt I feel. Because if he's with the pack, he's with Natalie. No amount of confession would change what he is required to do. And I have to live with that.
The rest of the school is moving toward the doors as well. It seems that everyone needed a breath of fresh air after they came out of their sickness. I notice most of the shifters are shifting back to human form and I bet their animal counterpart missed them.
"Did you shift?" I turn to Ben and he nods, grinning.
"It was the first thing I did. The first thing all of us did." He motions with his head and I turn to see a pack of wolves, making their way out of the woods. I don't have to see Aiden in his human form first to know which one is he. His wolf form is just as imprinted in my mind as his human one. I swear, even across this distance, his eyes find mine. But I don't have supernatural sight, it might just be my wishful thinking.
Once the student body is inside the grand hall, I notice the teachers up on the platform smiling. The noise level is almost overwhelming, after a week of near silence. The teachers keep scanning the crowd, as if they're afraid this is all a dream. And I can understand that. It feels surreal, even to me. Then, a hush falls over the room as Headmaster Marković steps up to the front of the platform.
"It is good to see you," he begins, his voice amplified by magic as usual. There is a note of raspiness there, and I can see he's recovering, just like the rest of them. "We will continue to stay vigilant and there is a routine check up being setup as we speak. But we will take the next few days to recover. Please take the time to rest, even though you have been in bed for days. We are still guests of Faery and we will continue to update you as we learn more. Go have fun." He smiles then, which is a bit uncharacteristic of him, before walking off the platform with the rest of the teachers following behind.
There's a pause in the air, as if we're not to sure what to do with what we've been given. I expected a longer talk, but maybe the teachers just needed to see everyone for themselves, and we'll get a longer announcement later.
"Did Headmaster Marković just basically give us permission to party?" Ben asks, giving me a slight wink.
"I feel like he definitely did," Jade replies, clapping her hands together. "I think we should listen to him, don't you?"
The rest of my friends grin and nod, as they start making plans. The student body begins moving out of the room, a happy chatter a background noise as we exit. My eyes seems to scan the room automatically, looking for a specific shifter, but I don't see him. As we step through the doorway, Mrs. Lee appears beside us.
"Miss Hawthorne, could you please come with me?"
My friends stop, giving me a look, but I motion them to go ahead. I knew this was coming. The faculty has to have questions about what I did. But as I follow Mrs. Lee, I honestly don't know if I have any answers.
When I'm ushered into the headmaster's office, I'm not sure what to expect. The last time I was here I dropped off the elixir, and the room was so dark I could barely seen a foot in front of me. Now, everything seems to be back to it's regular
bright lighting and open curtains. Headmaster Marković stands behind his desk, looking over some papers, but he raises his head as soon as the door closes behind me.
"Miss Hawthorne," he greets me, a full smile on his face. Something about it unsettles me, but I can't put my finger as to why. "You did it. You managed to find the magic you needed to find."
"I'm not so sure about that," I reply, walking over as he motions for me to take a seat. By my quick study, Headmaster Marković seems completely healed. Even more so than the students. There's more color to him, more liveliness. "Did you take the...medicine I gave you?"
"I did. But it is clear to me that I did not have to. You came through."
"You really think it was my doing?"
Headmaster walks around the desk, perching at the edge of it, as he meets my eye. He doesn't speak up right away, as if he's trying to figure out the right words to say.
"Your magic is powerful. Your ability to call on that which is important to you will never fail you. In this case, it proved to be true."
It takes me a moment to decipher his meaning, but then it hits me. He thinks I used the story spell casting. I open my mouth to protest, but then stop. Maybe it'll be better if he doesn't know. At this point, I'm not trusting anyone or anything and sadly, Headmaster Marković has joined those ranks. I don't want to be suspicious of him, but there is one thing I've learned through all of this, and there have been many things, is that I have to trust my instincts. Right now, they're telling me to be careful. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the headmaster himself, or the fact he drank the elixir given to me by the Oracle. Either way, I need to play my role as a dutiful student and then get out.
"I guess I really don't know what my magic is capable of," I say, shrugging a little. That seems to satisfy him somehow, as he stands and gives me another smile.
