A Quiet Christmas Alone...Kinda

by Misty Malone

  “Ow! There’s no way I need this. Ow! It hurts!”

  “It’s meant to hurt. That’s the best way I know of to deal with guilt.”

  She turned around to look at him again, obviously confused, but with tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “I told you I’d help you deal with your guilt, and that’s what I’m doing right now. You said you feel bad; right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why? What do you feel bad about?”

  “I was stubborn, and made you go out to rescue me again.”

  “Yes, you did. And you’re getting the consequences for that bad choice now. If you’re sorry, show me you are. Settle down, stop fighting me so much, and think about what you did, while I’m giving you the consequences for it. That’s the best way to associate the pain you’re feeling now with what it is you did to earn this. Without consequences, the guilt builds up, and it’s hard to deal with. When the spanking is over, you will have suffered the consequences for your actions, and the guilt will be gone. You and I will also be good again. I understand you feel bad, and once you’ve paid the consequences, I’ll be able to forgive you and we’ll basically have a new beginning, with nothing between us, pulling us apart. We’ll be free to see if there’s something between us. I think there is.”

  He gave her a few more swats before stopping, and rubbing her sore bottom gently. “I hope there is,” he said absent-mindedly.

  Lucy had been crying during his speech, but it hadn’t all been because of the fire he was igniting on her bottom. What he was saying touched her heart. This wonderful man wanted a relationship with her.

  But beyond that, he was right. She’d never had consequences, and she’d always had a problem dealing with guilt. She was stubborn, she could see that now, and when she got stubborn about something she seemed to have an attitude that went hand in hand with that. She became someone she didn’t much care for. Afterward, she felt bad, but didn’t know what to do about it. So she’d be angry with herself, and her attitude would get worse, and she’d treat people worse. It was becoming a vicious cycle.

  He was right, and she knew as he was talking to her that this would help her feel better emotionally. The question in her mind was whether she would be able to stand it physically. This was really hurting.

  As if he could read her mind, he addressed that very concern. “Settle down, Lucy, and accept this punishment. I know this hurts, and I know that’s why you’re trying to squirm off my lap. But let me tell you a couple things, and I want you to think about them. Your actions affect other people. For instance, I told you it was supposed to snow all day today and we wouldn’t be able to go anywhere. I told you that, trying to keep you safe. I said I’d bring you to my cabin until we could get to town, and that was also to take care of you, to make sure you had everything you need. How do you suppose I felt when you ignored what I said?”

  He watched as her tears increased, and he was sure it was from his words, not his hand. In actuality, he wasn’t spanking her all that hard now. She was sore, he knew, and that was good, but he had no intention of being cruel. The spanking had lasted a little while, and he knew this was her first spanking. He also knew that it was having the desired effect. She was listening to him and thinking.

  That was his goal. That and to help her over her guilt so she could forgive herself.

  He stopped the spanking, but kept his hand on her sore bottom. “Lucy, I care about you and I hope we can have a relationship. But you have to start listening to me when I’m trying to keep you safe. Will you do that, please?”

  She was sobbing, but she looked over her shoulder at him and nodded her head. “I’ll try.”

  “That’s my girl.” Once again, he pulled her underwear up before she knew what he was doing, and stood her up in front of him. He pulled her jeans up, though he went a little slower, knowing her bottom was going to be sore. Not giving her any opportunity to escape before he could comfort her, he quickly pulled her down to sit on his lap. She tried to jump back up, but he was ready, and held her tight. He shifted her so her bottom was straddling his thighs, and she relaxed a little.

  He wrapped his arms around her, guiding her head to lean against his chest. He was happy when she didn’t fight him, but rather, seemed to settle in against him. He rubbed one arm gently, and talked softly. “Are you okay, honey?”

  “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I’m really sore, but yet I somehow feel better, which is very confusing to me.”

  He had to chuckle. “Is the guilt gone?”

  She seemed surprised when she looked up at him. “Yes, it is,” she said slowly. “Just like you said it would be. So now do we get to—”

  “Do we get to what?”

  Her face turned red and she hid it in his chest. “Nothing.”

  He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Now we get to cuddle a little bit. I want to make sure you’re okay, and that you know I did this because I care about you, and that you don’t hate me now. Then we’ll go in and cuddle in front of the fire and drink our hot chocolate. I turned it off before we started this, so I’ll have to reheat it a little, but that’s not a problem.”

  “We’ll be doing everything you said we would. We’ll be cuddling in front of the fire with hot chocolate, and just like you said, I feel better. I still don’t understand that, but—”

  “Let me give you a few possibilities, and you see if any of them mean anything to you. Could it be that getting rid of guilt feels good? Like a weight’s been lifted from your shoulders? How about, could it be that deep down, you know what I said earlier is right, and that you haven’t had consequences in your life? How about, if we go a step further, even if you don’t want to admit it, you know this is exactly what you need; someone who cares enough about you to hold you to higher standards, that won’t allow you to have that attitude and treat people in a way that makes you feel badly afterward?”

  The fact that he kept his arms around her as he asked her those questions meant a lot to her. She realized he wasn’t putting her down, but rather, encouraging her. Somehow he knew she struggled with those things, and was offering her help with them. She nodded. “All of the above. But how did you know?”

  “Like I said, I saw a sweet little lady, and she’s quickly stealing my heart. My concern is whether or not that sweet little lady is willing to give a relationship a try.”

  She glanced up at him, and then laid back against his chest. He was a bundle of nerves, waiting for her to answer. Finally, she spoke. “Todd, I know you want me to be honest, so I will. I asked myself that same thing during that awful spanking. I’d very much like to get to know you better, but I wasn’t sure I could take that whole spanking thing. But then you kept talking, and you made me realize that although that spanking really hurt, I hurt you as well, and you didn’t deserve it. I did deserve what I got.”

  He gave her an encouraging hug. “I’m proud of you, Lucy. It takes a strong person to see and admit that. Does that mean you’re willing to give this a try?”

  “I would love to give it a try, if you have enough patience to give me a chance.”

  “Honey, don’t put yourself down. You’re a wonderful person, and that’s why I’m attracted to you. I want to protect you, and that includes a lot of things. It includes keeping you safe, but also keeping you happy. When you’re stubborn or have an attitude, you’re not happy. I’ve seen that. If that means I have to protect you from yourself for a little while at first, I’ll do it. That sweet little lady inside you wants to come out all the time. I’ll help you achieve that. I want to see you happy.”

  To Todd’s surprise, Lucy looped her arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “I’m very protective by nature, and I think you will thrive and be happy with someone who cares about you enough to not allow you to do things that are detrimental to your safety or happiness. I think there’s something strong between us to begin with,
and that strengthens our bond. I’m very anxious to see where this takes us.”

  “Me, too.”

  “For the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to spending Christmas with someone special.”

  “Me, too.” She looked a little worried, though. “But what will happen when we both go home? How far away do we live?”

  He settled her back on his lap, with his arms around her again. “Don’t invite trouble, honey. If we’re meant for each other we’ll work it out. I came here to decide if I want to keep my job, and I answered that question last night. When I go back, I’m turning in my resignation. I’m not happy in the city and I’ll be looking for a job elsewhere. I understand you’re going to be looking for a new job, as well. I don’t know if you’re locked into the area where you live right now or not, but I’m not.”

  Her expression brightened. “Now that you mentioned it, I’m not really locked in either. Maybe a change would be good for me.”

  “How long are you staying here, at Kenny’s cabin?”

  “I’m not sure. He said I can stay through the end of January if I want, but I thought I should get back and find a job. You’ve got me thinking now, though. Maybe I need to think about my future, too, and what I want to do. I haven’t been happy in my job either.”

  “Could that be part of the reason for the attitude difficulties you’ve told me about that have become a problem for you?”

  She thought several seconds before answering. “I never thought about it, but that might be a big part of the problem. I haven’t liked my job, and I will admit I can be a bit stubborn, and—”

  Todd laughed. “A bit stubborn?”

  Lucy felt her face heat up again. “Okay, I will admit I can be quite stubborn at times, and not liking my job I’m sure didn’t help any.”

  “You, my dear, are the most stubborn lady I’ve ever met. For now. That can change, though.”

  His stern expression had her sitting up straighter. “Uh-oh,” she muttered.

  He had to chuckle. “But if you didn’t like your job, I’m sure that added to the stubbornness and attitude problem. We’ll have to decide what kind of job you’d like and how you go about achieving that. My guess is if you get a job you like, your attitude will change dramatically. On its own, without my help,” he added with a grin. Her instant frown surprised him. “What did I say?”

  “Nothing. It’s just, when you said without your help…”

  “Oh, I’ll be there, watching, guiding. I’ll step in anytime you start to veer off the path.” Her instant smile told him a lot. She was embracing this whole concept. He tightened his hold on her, bringing her in for a quick hug, and a kiss to her head. “I think we’ve got something special here, Lucy, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you. I don’t remember ever looking forward to the holidays as much as I am this year.”

  “Me, either,” she said, cuddling into him. “I think for once I truly am going to have a happy holiday season.”

  He agreed, smiling. “A nice quiet holiday season alone… kinda.”

  The End

  Misty Malone

  Misty has dreamed of writing romance novels where handsome men are willing to take the young ladies they love in hand. She's following that dream now. She and her husband and their son live in the Midwest.

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