Broken: The sequel to THE PREACHER'S SON

by B. D. Anderson

  The call had been from her mother, and Matthew waited several minutes as they’d conversed. He could not believe that he had actually called Max’s name while kissing Brittany. What was wrong with him? He decided that as soon as Brittany got off the phone he was going to exercise whatever demon Max had infected him with by an intense sexual workout.

  Brittany hung up the phone with tears in her eyes.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Matt, can I get a rain check? I’ve got a situation with my Mom I have to deal with.”

  He could tell that she was upset so he didn’t question her and tried not to show his disappointment.

  He had let himself out of her apartment feeling totally frustrated. He thought about Max and silently groaned. Why on earth would he say her name while he was with another woman? He made up his mind that he was going to stay as far away from her as he could.

  He had come to the gym knowing that he might run into her. After all, he had paid good money for his membership. He was going to put it to use, regardless if she were there or not. He just reminded himself that he was not going to get involved with her and would keep his interaction with her to a minimum.

  He had looked around when he walked in and did not see her. He hoped she was off for the day. He had walked back to the locker room and put his things in his locker. He spotted her as he walked back out.

  His eyes went over her before he could control it. She was wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts. He tried not to stare and climbed on the treadmill. He saw her walking over to him and took a deep breath to concentrate on his workout.

  He tried to keep the eye contact to a minimum and the conversation short. He tried to remain polite and neutral, and she immediately caught on and walked away. He did not want her to go, but he knew that he had to stick to his guns. He was not going to get sucked into a relationship with her. He increased the speed on the treadmill.

  Why did things have to be so complicated? He made himself run for forty-five minutes and then climbed off the treadmill trying to burn off his frustration. He’d gotten rid of Max earlier; now all he had to do was make it to the showers and go home.

  “Matthew.”

  He jumped at the sound of her voice and turned around to find Max standing behind him.

  “I’m sorry. Did I scare you?” she asked

  “No, I just didn’t realize that you were behind me,” he replied. “What can I do for you?”

  “I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed our pretend date,” she said in a voice a higher pitch than usual. She found herself stammering as she forced the words from her mouth. “I haven’t seen you since that time, and you haven’t been by to see Eric.”

  “I’ve been busy.”

  “Oh. Well, when will we be seeing you again?” she managed to get out in one quick breath.

  “Uh, I don’t know. Like I said, I’m busy.”

  He watched as Max looked away and took another deep breath. She paused a moment and then quickly exhaled.

  “Uh-would you like to come by for dinner on Sunday? You know, see Eric and your nieces?”

  He stared at her a moment. “I don’t think so. I have an appointment.”

  Matthew knew that she didn’t believe his lie. He hadn’t even asked he what time the dinner was.

  “Sure, Matt. I just thought I’d ask,” she said, looking disappointed.

  Matt watched her as she walked off. He knew that he really would enjoy a nice meal and he really didn’t have any plans for Sunday, but he had to cut her off.

  He kept telling himself that he did not want a relationship with her, yet why was he feeling so melancholy? Why did he want to call her back over there and tell her that he wanted to come over for dinner? He knew that it was because he didn’t want to encourage her. He did not want to date Maxine James. He decided that maybe he’d talk to her and let her down easy. Neither one of them needed to take this any further.

  He silently cursed and walked back to her office where she had retreated to. He knocked on the door and walked in. She looked up at him in surprise.

  “Look, Max, I hope I didn’t come off rude back there,” he said.

  “That’s all right, Matt. I got your point,” she said, not looking up at him.

  “I don’t think either of us wants to go down that road, Max. It’s too complicated. I’m sure that there’s some nice guy out there for you.”

  “I said I got it, Matt,” she said in irritation. “I know that you don’t want to be bothered with me. First because I’m black and second because I’m damaged goods. I got the message loud and clear.”

  “Now wait a minute—”

  “Don’t try to pretty it up, Matt!” she glared at him, her eyes narrow slits. “I know what I am. I know I have scars even if they are on the inside, and they are not pretty!” She willed herself not to cry, but she could feel the tears threatening.

  “I know that you are worried if I’m going to scream if you touch me or wonder how I will react if you try to make love to me. I worry about those same things. I’m too much baggage for the average man to handle. I’m broken, I understand that! You don’t have to explain.”

  She stood up and opened the door. “You can leave now. I have some things to finish up before we close.”

  Matt slammed the door shut. “I don’t like people assuming things about me,” he snapped. “You and your scars don’t scare me. The truth is that I don’t want to get involved with you because our families are already too closely connected. You are right; I don’t want to follow in my cousins’ and brother’s footsteps. There’s enough race mixing already in my family. I made up my mind that I was not going down that route.”

  He didn’t tell her that right now he wanted to pull her in his arms and kiss her senseless or that he was constantly thinking about her against his better judgment. Even now looking at her in her form-fitting top and gym shorts he could feel his own arousal, and it pissed him off that she could affect him so easily.

  He pushed her against the wall without even thinking about it and brought his face close to hers, his hands on either side of her head blocking her escape. “But the truth is that I can’t stop thinking about you and that damn “pretend” date. I don’t want the responsibility that comes with bedding a virgin, and that’s what you are, you know, regardless what has happened to you. You don’t know anything about lovemaking, and whoever is your first has the responsibility to you to replace your bad memories with wonderfully good ones. That man has to tread carefully, and that’s not me.”

  Even as he said the words, he knew that he wanted to be that man. He wanted her for himself, and the reality of his feelings angered him more.

  Max had never allowed any man to be in her personal space like Matthew was now. She expected panic to consume her or for another episode to occur, but that didn’t happen. Instead, heat consumed her and that tingling feeling in her belly began again. Her heart was beating fast, and she crossed her arms across her chest as she felt her nipples harden.

  “I guess you’re not up to that tremendous task, right,” she spat at him.

  He pressed his body into hers, and she could smell the sweat from his workout mixed with some cologne. She waited for the feelings of panic to overtake her, but all she felt was heat, heat from him and that tingly feeling in her lower region as it increased.

  “I’m up to it; it’s just a responsibility I don’t want. You need to find a man of your own race. Neither you nor I need to have to deal with the repercussions of an interracial relationship.”

  “Coward!” she snapped, trying to incite anger from him so that she could gain some control over her own confusing feelings.

  “What did you say?” He brought his face close to hers, and she could see the sweat still on his upper lip. She pushed the thought of how those lips felt on hers out of her mind and embraced her anger.

  “Coward!” she repeated “You’re just as scared as I am about what we’re feeling. I felt something, and you d
id too. I dare you to admit it! You’re scared and you’re running just like I am.”

  He grabbed her, capturing her lips in a heated kiss; his hands squeezed her buttocks sending shocks of pleasure through her center as he pulled her closer. The fire inside her was now an inferno as he kissed her. It was nothing like she’d ever experienced before, his tongue dueling with hers, his hands squeezing her behind. Her senses were on overload, and she heard him moan as he kissed her, and then it was over.

  “Don’t ever challenge me, Max” he said, breaking the kiss. “I will always answer your challenge.”

  She could feel his arousal as he pressed his body against hers. Her heart was beating fast, and she could hardly catch her breath. She noticed that his brown eyes had flecks of green; he was so close. She could feel his erection and the immediate response of her own body. She didn’t know what to do.

  “Does that scare you, Max?” he asked, looking at her. He took her hand and placed it on his erection. “I’m a man who knows what he wants, and I’m not afraid to go after it, so who’s the coward now?”

  Max gasped and snatched her hand away.

  “That’s what happens when a man is aroused Max. I want you, but I am trying to respect the ivory tower you’ve locked yourself away in. I’m a man not a boy, and you are a woman not a thirteen-year-old child anymore. You want me too. I know it.”

  “What is the use wanting you when it’ll be over with before it starts?” she hissed. “You just want sex. You don’t want a relationship, at least not with me.”

  He looked at her and did not deny her accusation even though she could tell that her words stung.

  “All the more reason for us to stay away from each other, right?” he said, backing away from her and opening the door.

  Max stared at his tented shorts and then back at his face. She felt her face flush though he didn’t appear the least bit embarrassed by his present condition. She watched fascinated as he shifted himself in his pants.

  “See you later, Max.”

  Max sat down at her desk and stared at her blank computer screen. She knew that she was already in way too deep, and she didn’t know what she was going to do about it.

  CHAPTER 9

  Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in you. Psalm 56:3

  Jesse James stared at the letter in disbelief.

  It was a notice from the State of South Carolina Department of Corrections notifying him that James Rogers was up for parole. He and Max could come to his parole hearing if they chose.

  He put the letter down on the table. How could they even consider letting that animal out? Sure, he was now a registered sex offender, but he didn’t deserve to be back on the streets!

  He wondered if Max had received a letter also. He doubted it, or they would have mailed it to her instead.

  He didn’t know if Max would be able to handle the news and wondered if he should even tell her.

  He decided to go over to her home and talk to her even though he hadn’t spoken to her since she and Nadine and that boy had brought the twins over for a visit.

  He knew that he was being stubborn, but he still hadn’t accepted the fact that Nadine had married outside her race. He decided to be civil at least once he got there.

  He pulled up to Max’s house but didn’t see her car. He hoped Nadine had borrowed it.

  He held his breath and knocked on the door, surprised when Eric opened it. He figured that Eric would be at work on a Monday morning.

  “Mr. James?” Eric said, surprised to see his father-in-law. “This is a shock.”

  “Yeah, is Max home?” he asked, trying to keep his voice even. Why wasn’t the boy working to take care of his family? He pressed his lips together to keep from asking him outright.

  “No, she’s at work. You want to come in?” Eric said, opening the door wider.

  Jesse hesitated a moment but then came in and looked around as Eric led him into the living room.

  “When do you expect her?” he asked, not sitting. “It’s important that I talk to her.”

  “She gets off in about an hour.” Eric said. “I can call her on her cell—”

  “No, don’t,” Jesse said. “Where’s Nadine?”

  “She’s gone to register for classes at the beauty institute. I’m watching the girls until she gets back, and then I’m going to work.”

  Jesse grunted. At least that answered his question.

  “Is everything all right?” Eric asked, looking at Jesse standing in the middle of the living room. “Why won’t you sit down?”

  Jesse looked at him frowning. “Do you love my daughter?”

  “Mr. James, I’ve told you several times that I love Nadine. I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to believe me,” Eric replied patiently.

  “You’re here living off my daughters. You call that love?” Jesse said, looking around. “You’re here in Max’s place, living for free most likely. That’s not being a man!”

  “I’m not living off of them. I work every day, Mr. James.” Eric snapped angrily. “Nadine and I work together. Max helps out. Now my parents help us out. My father has come around. He didn’t like this marriage either, but he took one look at his granddaughters, and all that apprehension about my interracial marriage went out the window. We came to see you in hopes that you’d feel the same way.”

  Jesse stood up. “You’ll leave her eventually, and then what?”

  Eric tried to keep his temper in check. “I will never leave my wife and babies, Mr. James!”

  “When things get hard—”

  “Things are already hard!” Eric said, throwing up his hands in frustration. “We have two babies, two babies that need a lot of care. I am working and studying at the same time. Nadine is trying to get financial aid to go to school. Max is helping, but she is trying to cope with her own demons! It’s already hard for all of us. I don’t care that it’s hard. I love my babies, and I love my wife, and that will never change! I wish you’d get that through your thick skull!”

  The girls started crying, and Eric turned away from Jesse who was staring at him speechlessly.

  “Excuse me!”

  Eric regretted losing his temper, but he was tired of his father-in-law’s behavior. He walked into the bedroom and tried to soothe the babies. They both were crying, most likely because he’d raised his voice. He was glad Nadine hadn’t been home to witness it. He quickly checked the babies and found them both to be wet. He looked up and saw Jesse staring at him from the doorway.

  “Make yourself useful,” Eric said, quickly undoing Derika’s pajamas. “Hand me those wipes off the dresser.” He quickly took the diaper off of her and put another under her. He took the wipes from Jesse and began wiping her off and quickly fastened the clean diaper. He then did the same for Erika, and the babies continued to cry. He quickly cleaned his hands with the bottle of hand sanitizer and then handed it to Jesse.

  “Come over here and hold Erika while I get their sippy cups,” Eric said, picking up the baby and handing her to Jesse after he cleaned his hands.

  He picked up Derika and went into the kitchen where he had put juice in the cups.

  He quickly handed it to Jesse, who followed him into the kitchen with Erika.

  “Here. Help her hold it, “Eric instructed.

  He then took the other one and sat down with Derika.

  He looked over at Jesse, who was now helping Erika with her cup, surprised that Jesse hadn’t said anything. He was holding the cup as she greedily sucked on the spout.

  “You see, Grandpa, this is what love is all about,” Eric said, sitting on the sofa. “I’m here for the long haul. What about you?”

  Jesse walked over and sat on the sofa next to Eric. “I remember feeding my babies,” he said more to himself than to Eric as he stared at the baby.

  “These are your babies too,” Eric replied. “They’re yours as well as mine. They are a part of you just like they are a part of me.”

  Jesse looked at Erika a
nd then looked away. “I don’t want to love them.”

  “You already do though, don’t you?”

  Jesse did not reply right away. “I think about them every day,” he admitted.

  “Then why don’t you embrace them?” Eric asked quietly.

  “I couldn’t protect Max. I can’t protect them either,” he said finally.

  “All we can do is the best we can do,” Eric said, shaking his head. “What happened to Max wasn’t your fault.”

  Jesse put Erika on his shoulder. “Is that enough, though, doing the best you can?”

  “Yes,” Eric said. “That’s all any of us can do.”

  Jesse looked at Erika. What was he going to do now? How was he going to protect Max from this new danger that had reared its ugly head? That monster was about to be released.

  He held Erika close and lay back against the sofa and closed his eyes. The last thing he wanted was for Max to fall apart at the news. He knew that all he could do was to go before the parole board and hope that Max’s attacker wouldn’t be granted release.

  Max tried to put Matthew and their conversation from the previous month out of her mind as she drove home from the gym. He had let her know in no uncertain terms that he didn’t want a relationship with her and that all he could offer her was sex. It was crude, but it was honest, and she had to admit that it hurt. He hadn’t said it, but she knew that the reason was because she was black. That was all she was to him: an attraction that was an annoyance, a sexual itch.

  She tried to harden her heart. She knew from the moment that he walked into the hospital to see the twins and they had butted heads that there was undeniable electricity between them, but she was not going to humiliate herself by giving into it only to be discarded by the side of the road when he grew bored. She was glad that she was off for the rest of the day after closing the previous night and opening at 5 a.m. that morning. She could use a break.

  She pulled in front of the house and was surprised to see her father’s pickup truck. She rushed out of her car, her heart beating fast. In the house she found her father sitting on the sofa playing with the babies. She blinked and stared for a moment.