Dathrow

by Leora Gonzales

  “You are my sister now as well.” Giving her a soft smile, Wheaton leaned over and patted her shoulder. “Since you are staying with Dathrow for the time being, when are you actually going to talk to him?”

  “Well, I guess now is as good as time as any.” Pixie braced herself as Wheaton stood and went to the door.

  “Do you want us to stay or go?” Poppy asked.

  “Well, considering Wheaton is the reason Dathrow had to go into a regen bed and you look as if you want to rip his face off…I’m saying go would be best.” Pixie followed up the statement with a pointed glance at her sister.

  “True,” Poppy admitted before grinning evilly. “He deserved the broken jaw though.”

  “I took my aggression out on the TV, Wheaton took his out on Dathrow’s face. Let’s agree to disagree.” Pixie couldn’t imagine ever wanting to physically hurt her husband. No, she could imagine it. She would just never be able to actually do it. Damn it. Her fucking heart hurt at the idea he’d been injured at all.

  “Pixie?” Dathrow’s voice cut through the mental break Pixie had allowed herself to take for a moment.

  “Pops, I’ll see you later.” Jerking her chin toward the door, Pixie indicated Poppy needed to walk through it before she would talk. There was no way she was putting on a show for her sister, no matter how much she loved her.

  Once the door slid closed behind the pair, Pixie cleared her throat. “The docs said we could take an empty exam room so we aren’t interrupted by their afternoon patients checking in.”

  Without giving Dathrow a chance to speak, Pixie walked down the small hallway. Finding a room that was empty, Pixie walked over and claimed one of the chairs on the opposite side of the room.

  Dathrow entered not far behind her, but instead of sitting down, he walked over to where she was.

  “Dath, please sit. I can’t take you hovering over me right now.” Pixie’s voice came out tired, matching how she felt deep down in her bones.

  “Sorry.” Dathrow walked back across the room to a chair and sat down. Resting his elbows on his knees, he stared straight ahead at her. “Are you finally going to let me explain?”

  Taking a deep breath, Pixie clasped her hands together and leaned back in the chair. The picture of calm she was hoping to project was the exact opposite of what she was feeling.

  How could he even think to explain this away? Did he think she was an idiot?

  “Please do.”

  “Where do I start?” Dathrow lowered his head to his hands and ran his fingers through his hair, the gesture causing Pixie’s own fingers to twitch, wanting to follow the path through the silky strands.

  “Well…start with how long you’ve been in love with my sister,” she bit out.

  “I am not in love with Poppy,” Dathrow snapped back, his frustration evident. “Poppy was the first human whom I ever had a chance to get to know. It actually started out as a way to get information about you.”

  “Sure it did.” The sarcasm was heavy in Pixie’s voice.

  “Honestly, I was interested in you from the moment I saw you on Earth.”

  “Then explain to me what I saw.” Pixie’s voice broke with her wanting more than anything to believe him.

  “I need to start before that video for you to understand.” Dathrow stood up and walked across the room. Kneeling in front of her, he took her clammy hands in his own. He was quiet for a moment, stroking his thumbs against the back of Pixie’s hands. “I was attracted to you. Just you, I promise.”

  When she gave him a look of disbelief, he squeezed her fingers. “You were so beautiful and funny. Your love for your sister was apparent and I thought how lucky a man would be to have that loyalty for his own. I wanted to know more about you. So when I was assigned as Poppy’s guard, I used that time to ask questions. Poppy explained that you were almost mated to a human on Earth so I tried to let go of my obsession.” Dathrow reached up and cupped her cheek, ensuring she met his eyes. “Soon I was seeing Poppy every day. I watched her interaction with Wheaton and the mistakes that he made while courting her. I knew that if I had the chance to do the same with you, then I would not be making those mistakes.” Dathrow snorted under his breath. “I made one much worse, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, and you’re stalling.” Pixie moved her head away from his palm but held his stare.

  “When Hannah was matched to Wheaton, my first concern was for Poppy. She had become a good friend and reminded me of you. You see? When I saw her, she reminded me of you. Not the other way around.”

  “We met once, Dath. I don’t believe that you were thinking of me the whole time,” Pixie argued.

  “I had learned so much about you while I was with Poppy. We watched some videos that she had recorded. I remember in one of them you were wearing a green dress and laughing so hard your face was bright red.”

  Pixie thought for a moment. She remembered that video. Poppy had thought it was hilarious that Pixie had dribbled mayo down the front of her dress and started teasing her about it. After a while, Pixie hadn’t been able to breathe, she was laughing so hard. Poppy had pulled out her phone to record the snorting pig noises that Pixie had been making, for future blackmail potential.

  “I remember that.” Pixie’s voice softened with the recollection.

  “I must have asked to watch that video twenty times, if not more. You were gorgeous with your sparkling eyes and wide smile.” Dathrow laughed softly at the memory. Sobering quickly, he took her hand again and held it tighter in his grip. “After Wheaton was matched to Hannah, the council called me into the chambers. Finding out that Poppy was a match to my profile surprised me for a moment. I do not like admitting it, but I thought that if I could not have you then Poppy would not have been a hardship.”

  “Ouch.” Pixie winced physically as she said the word.

  “I am sorry. I want to be honest and that was a thought that I entertained for about thirty seconds.”

  “And then what happened?” Pixie prodded when he stopped speaking.

  “I explained to the council that there was no way I would accept the match since Poppy was in love with Wheaton. I was asked if I could envision myself as her husband, and I said that the possibility was there. It was at that point that I requested to be removed from her security detail.”

  “Why did you do that?”

  “You seemed out of reach to me and yet Poppy was being handed over by the council. It was tempting to take advantage of the situation. I felt attraction because she resembled you. I knew she was funny and loyal because I had gotten close to her while asking her questions about you. It all revolved around you.”

  “Dath…you say that now but it wasn’t my name you were whispering when you fucked that hooker,” Pixie argued hotly, not yet ready to believe that she wasn’t being used as a stand-in for her sister.

  “No it wasn’t.” Dathrow rubbed his hands over his newly healed jaw. “You were unattainable to me. I did not ever see that an opportunity would arise and you would volunteer for the pact.”

  “Same here,” Pixie scoffed.

  “The more I thought about it, the more I tried to envision Poppy as my bride. I reasoned that she would fulfill everything I wanted. I saw how she was with Wheaton and was jealous. I wanted that emotion directed at me. The council was giving me the perfect opportunity to make that happen. It was intoxicating. The more time that passed, the longer I had the possibility in my mind. After her rescue I saw with my own eyes that what she shared with Wheaton would never be mine. The emotion they share isn’t transferrable to anyone else.” The admission seemed painful for Dathrow to say out loud.

  “During that video…her name was spoken out of habit. I did not even realize it was said until I watched it again. Believe me, at the time of the recording I had no illusions that I would ever have her for a bride. It was simply a fantasy that I had played through my mind and it was voiced during my encounter with the worker.”

  “Yeah, let’s talk about that video,”
Pixie said sharply. “Why the fuck did you even have that there for me to find?”

  “The pleasure worker that I visited gave me a download during my last trip to the brothel. I had thought it was a recording of her during a self-pleasuring session. I had no idea that she had recorded our encounter. I had not even had a chance to watch it. I promise.” Dathrow’s voice was earnest enough that she believed him.

  “I know that. There were no views recorded on the file,” Pixie admitted reluctantly.

  “Do you believe me?”

  Pixie sat for a moment. The room was silent except for the slight hum of electronics surrounding them, and their breathing.

  “I believe you about not knowing what was on the video. Accepting the fact that you said my sister’s name during sex is going to take a while to forgive. The only plus side to this is that you never said it while with me.”

  “Pixie—”

  “Fuck, Dath. Give me a little bit of time to process this!” Pixie’s voice flooded with the emotions she thought had already been released in earlier crying sessions. “I left a man on Earth I’d been with for over two years because he was sleeping with someone. I come to space and see a video of my husband fucking some other chick and saying my own sister’s name. That hurt me more than you can imagine. It’s all a little hard to swallow right now much less get over within the span of a fucking day.”

  “Whatever you need is yours,” Dathrow said quickly. Holding up his hands in a sign of surrender, he moved back slightly.

  “I’m coming home but I need space.”

  “There is no place else I would rather have you be.”

  “I wish I could say the same.” Pixie let the words slip out, feeling a twinge in her heart when Dathrow flinched. “Just give me some time. I need to sort everything out.”

  “You will have all you need. Just do not leave me.”

  “I don’t even have that choice right now, Dath,” Pixie said sadly.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Later that evening, Pixie was sitting on their bed, relishing the silence that surrounded her. Since yesterday she hadn’t seemed to have a chance to simply sit and think. Everyone had been asking questions. Questions that Pixie didn’t have the answers to. Thinking back, that was the part that bothered her the most.

  Normally, Pixie had a plan. She’d planned out everything in her future for so long that when something took a different turn than expected, it frustrated her.

  Did she still love Dathrow?

  Yes. Even though she went through cycles of wishing she didn’t.

  Could she forgive him for keeping a potential match to Poppy a secret?

  Most likely. It still irked her no one had told her but she understood the reasoning behind it.

  What bothered her most about the video she’d seen?

  She hated seeing him with another woman. It was before they were matched so was it fair to hold it against him? No.

  Was she worried he might still have feelings for Poppy?

  Of course. Bits and pieces of conversations kept creeping back into her memory. Little comments from Dathrow about how much the sisters were alike. Was it because he was pining for Poppy or was it just a harmless observation? Pixie wasn’t stupid. The sisters were alike in quite a few ways. Their looks and sense of humor was something they’d shared since they were younger. A lot of their friends and even Brian had commented on it before.

  Was she happy she was pregnant?

  Yes. Although it was hard to swallow at first, Pixie was ecstatic she had the chance to be a mother. Not long after the complete shock of the pregnancy news had passed, Pixie had felt warm fuzzies at the idea of having a baby with Dathrow. The joy hadn’t lasted long though…memories of her previous miscarriage had started to surface. In the span of a few hours she’d gone from disbelief to happiness and then to panic. What if she lost this baby as well?

  When was she going to tell him about the baby?

  That was something she didn’t know. Should she wait and play it safe in case she miscarried again?

  All the questions running through in her head made it ache. Poppy rubbed a hand over her face. As she did so, she could feel the soreness behind her eyelids. They were still tender from the bouts of crying she’d been through in the last twenty-four hours.

  Other than bringing her food, Dathrow had left her alone since they had gotten back to the apartment. The council had given him the day off to “tend to his bride” according to Wheaton.

  Pixie snorted. Tend to his bride. Ha. As if Pixie wanted anything to do with him right now.

  She knew she was being bitchy but couldn’t help it. Every time she closed her eyes, she pictured what his face looked like while he was whispering her sister’s name. The image made her sick to her stomach, heartbroken and furious all at once. No matter how many times she went over the circumstances around it, it still didn’t lessen the pain she felt.

  Maybe she just needed a little time.

  “How much time?” Pixie whispered to the empty room.

  “Pixie? Did you say something?” Dathrow’s voice asked from the doorway.

  “No, I’m just talking to myself.” Pixie patted the bed beside her, indicating she wanted him to sit down. “Can I ask you a few questions?”

  Dathrow moved quickly to her side. “Of course.”

  “You said earlier that you asked my sister about me…what exactly did she tell you?”

  “Poppy shared stories about your childhood,” Dathrow started. “She told me your favorite movies and foods…I think it made her feel better to talk about you when she was lonely. The memories she shared with me made her smile. She loves you very much.”

  “I know. I love her too.” Threading her fingers together, Pixie let out a gust of air. “Maybe that’s why it hurt so much.”

  “I love Poppy as well.” When Pixie’s head snapped up quickly, he reached over and patted her leg. “As a sister. I feel the same way for Poppy as Wheaton feels toward you.”

  “Oh.” Pixie let out a relieved breath she hadn’t even been aware she was holding. “That scared me for a minute.”

  “Do you need anything else?” Dathrow asked in a soft voice.

  “Nah, I’m just thinking of everything. Trying to straighten it out in my head.” Pixie waved him off. “I’ll probably take a nap though. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  At the reminder of the previous evening, Dathrow visibly winced. “The vid screen will be replaced tomorrow morning.”

  When Pixie remembered what she’d done to the screen on the wall, she flexed her hand. “I’m sorry I broke it. I don’t know what I was thinking. Fuck, I didn’t know what I was doing.”

  “I understand. There is no need to explain,” Dathrow said quickly. “I just wish you had not hurt yourself.”

  “Nothing the regen bed couldn’t fix,” Pixie joked lamely.

  At the reminder of the regen bed and its findings, Pixie knew this would be the perfect time to tell him about the baby.

  Something held her back.

  Pixie bit her lip. “You can sleep in here tonight…just sleep though, okay?”

  Dathrow nodded but stayed silent.

  “I’m gonna see if I can nap for a bit.” Pixie’s words were a dismissal, causing Dathrow to turn and walk to the door.

  “Just let me know if you need anything.”

  “I will.”

  Pixie snuggled up onto the pillows, turning onto her side she closed her eyes. Making an effort to clear her mind, Pixie couldn’t help but think of the baby she secretly carried.

  What a clusterfuck.

  * * * * *

  “How much longer do you think you can keep it a secret?” Poppy’s voice raised the question Pixie had been asking herself for the past two days.

  “I have no idea…all I know is that I want to be sure of everything before I add a baby to the shit stew we’ve been brewing lately.” Pixie flopped onto the couch and kicked her feet up onto the small table.


  “Are you still thinking he’s using me to…you know?” Poppy asked with a disgusted look on her face.

  “Ewww. No. Not really. At least not anymore.” Throwing her arms over her face, Pixie let a groan. “I don’t fucking know, okay?!”

  “Calm down, Pix.”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down. I’m a mess.” Pixie rubbed her eyes, trying to keep from crying yet again. “This stupid man has turned me into an insecure dingbat.”

  “But you love him,” Poppy added when Pixie stared at her.

  “Yeah.” Pixie cradled her stomach. The roundness that was caused by her love of tacos and donuts now protected a new life. A new life she still hadn’t told her husband about. “Why can’t our aliens have those thingies from Men in Black that erase memories? I’m telling you right now, if Dathrow had one of those, I’d jump at the chance to burn that video from my brain.”

  Poppy made a face at her sister. “I would too.” Moving to sit beside Pixie, Poppy leaned into her shoulder. “You need to make a decision. You either forgive him and move on or—”

  “Or what, Pops? That’s the problem. I don’t even have an alternative in this situation.”

  “Don’t bite my head off. I’m trying to help,” Poppy snapped back.

  “Well, you’re not.” Pixie glared at her sister for a moment before softening her expression. “I’m sorry. I know I need to forgive him…I actually want to forgive him.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I don’t fucking know. Maybe it’s because when I close my eyes I see that video play again…maybe it’s because I remember every single time he said we were alike in some way,” Pixie sniped back.

  “Well knock it the fuck off.” When Pixie’s head jerked up to glare at her sister, Poppy spoke firmly. “You’re driving yourself crazy. What’s done is done. Either forgive and move on or figure out an alternative plan. You’re pregnant. Dathrow deserves to know. You need to stop dissecting everything he’s ever said. We are alike, moron.”

  “Ouch,” Pixie mumbled, feeling the sting of her sister’s words as if they were cuts with a knife.

  “Suck it up, buttercup. Did Brian really do that much of a number on your head that you can’t forgive Dath for something he did before he was even matched to you? C’mon now, you know that’s not fair.”