His Lullaby Baby

by Airicka Phoenix

  He squinted at her. “That’s physically impossible.”

  She gave his arm a teasing squeeze. “You know what I mean. You’re going to be a kid even if I have to hire someone to teach you.”

  “What about Hanna?”

  “I think she’s got being a kid down to a science.” Addy laughed and straightened. “It’s you we need to focus on.”

  “No, I mean what are you going to tell her about your arm?”

  Addy shrugged. “She hasn’t asked.”

  “That’s because I told her you fell.”

  Addy sighed, chest tightening. “I got too lucky with you, kid.” She ruffled his hair. “Then that’s what we’ll tell her. She doesn’t need to know anything else. At least not right now.”

  Sean nodded solemnly. “Okay.” He glanced over her shoulder at the front door. “I need to go.”

  She kissed him and pulled him to her. Her grip tightened when his arms lifted and wound around her middle, squeezing her back.

  “Love you, Mom,” he whispered into the wool of her sweater.

  Tears were squished into the top of his head as she buried her face into his hair. “Love you, too, baby.”

  He pulled back and kept his face averted as he fixed his coat and bag. But she heard the faint sniffle and the tremor in his voice when he murmured, “See you after school.”

  No sooner had the door shut when Hanna came thumping down the hall, backpack bouncing at her back.

  “I’m ready!”

  “Hold on, Tiny.” Toby appeared behind her, her coat hooked on one finger. “Forget something?”

  “Can I put it on over my backpack? Then I’ll look like a turtle.”

  “Under.” Addy went to her and helped tug her bag off. “You can be a turtle in the spring.”

  “You okay?” Toby asked once they had Hanna properly dressed and waiting by the door.

  Addy nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to see how I can bake with only one hand. Then—”

  “No, I mean are you okay?” he stressed slowly.

  “It hasn’t hit me yet,” she admitted. “But I feel better than I did yesterday. I feel alert and calmer. I’m going to give it a few more days, but I’m still going to call Nia and let her know what happened.”

  He nodded. “Okay.” Bowing his head, he kissed her. “I’ll be back as soon as I drop Tiny off. Call me if you need anything.”

  Promising she would, she watched the two leave. Alone, she made her way into the kitchen and stopped on the threshold. She stared at the spot Jonathon had made her sit all night and wait for the kids to come home. Her palms immediately became damp and a gnawing sensation started in her belly. All the air seemed to solidify around her, growing too thick and pasty. Her heart began to clap loudly with every gulp of oxygen she couldn’t suck in. She stumbled back, desperate to put space between herself and the memory, but it followed her. It struck into her chest even as her back hit the hallway wall. Her legs dissolved and she slid to the floor.

  She could have died. Toby could have died. She honestly couldn’t imagine which of those two things were worse. Most likely the latter. Her mind refused to even acknowledge the possibly of not having him anymore. But it was the thought of Jonathon getting his hands on Hanna and Sean that kept her on the ground. It was the what ifs that kept hammering at her. Every moment that passed only further tightened the serrated fingers of terror gripping her chest until the pain was blinding.

  Gentle fingers settled on her arm, scalding hot against the chill of her skin. Blue eyes came into focus behind the film of tears before Beth’s soft face did. The woman knelt down next to her, and without a word, pulled Addy into her arms.

  Addy broke. She crumpled with a sob. Her back heaved beneath the woman’s stroking palms. Tears poured and melted into Beth’s coat. It went unnoticed as she continued to clasp Addy to her. Neither spoke until the last tremor had dissipated into the air and the last tear had fallen. Even then, Beth kept holding on until Addy drew back.

  “Okay?”

  Addy nodded, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “I’m sorry.”

  Beth ignored that. “Come on. Let’s get something warm in you.”

  She allowed herself to be hoisted up and propelled into the sitting room. A throw was tucked around her. Then she was left alone to compose herself.

  A few minutes later, Beth returned with a tea tray. She set it down on the coffee table.

  “Thank you,” Addy whispered as a steaming cup was pressed into her chilled palm.

  Beth got her own tea and took the cushion next to Addy. “Tea isn’t my specialty,” she confessed with a weak little grin. “Coffee, however…”

  Addy chuckled. “This is fine. Thank you.” She held the cup closer, wishing she could crawl inside and sleep. But she pushed the thought aside. “What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you,” she amended quickly.

  Beth chuckled. “I came to see how you were feeling. I figured the kids would be off to school and you could use some help.”

  “Instead you found me huddled in the corner of the hallway,” she finished, partially joking.

  “I would have been more surprised if I hadn’t found you huddled in a corner. You’ve been through a lot and you’ve held it together pretty well considering, but even the strong need moments of weakness.”

  Addy exhaled heavily. “I don’t even know what happened. I was just walking into the kitchen and it hit me. Toby almost got shot, because of me. He could have been killed.” Her eyes filled all over again. “The idiot didn’t run when I told him to!”

  Beth rolled her eyes. “I don’t think any of the McClain men would have. They’re frustratingly stubborn that way.”

  “I put him in danger,” she choked out.

  “Hey.” A gentle hand rested on the wrist of her good hand. “Now, you listen to me. I’ve known my son longer than anyone and I can tell you right now that nothing short of death would have gotten him to leave. He’s just like his father, a stubborn, hopeless … infuriating man with an enormous heart.”

  “You must hate me.”

  Beth laughed. “Believe it or not, I don’t. I never did. I don’t even mildly dislike you. I think you’re incredibly brave and strong, and kind. I also think Toby’s lucky to have you.” She grinned when Addy shot her a look. “I mean it, and I’m not saying that out of guilt. The truth is that I haven’t seen him this happy since before the accident. Oh, he always acted like it never bothered him, but I could tell the stress of not being able to go back and not being able to walk was really getting to him. While I still don’t approve of his strenuous activities, I can see the change in him since he’s met you. Plus, your daughter is pretty impossible not to adore. You almost didn’t get her back.”

  Addy chuckled. “She has that effect on people.”

  “Are you feeling better?”

  She took a sip of her tea and nodded. “Yes, hopefully that was the last of it. I was actually about to call a friend of mine from the program, but I didn’t get that far.”

  Beth set her teacup down and folded her hands together in her lap. She eyed Addy solemnly.

  “You know, if you ever need to talk or just hang out for a while, you have four people right here in town more than willing to put something together and make it happen. Calla doesn’t even need an excuse to have a girl’s night and Willa’s all about chatting and sharing. Then of course Lily, she’d happily spend hours in the kitchen with you.”

  Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Addy grinned. “You said four.”

  Beth lowered her eyes to her hands. “I was going to add myself in the mix, but I wasn’t sure if it would mean anything.”

  “It does,” Addy murmured. “A lot.”

  Chapter 22 ~ Toby

  Halos of light glimmered off fairy wings and princess wands. It shone over flushed faces as witches, zombies and Power Rangers ran in a flurry of chaos through the night. The Monster Mash played from the speakers positioned around the field, almost muffl
ed beneath the screams and laughter filling the air in a cacophony of delight. Lights splintered the darkness. Each construction light was strategically positioned to illuminate and simultaneously darken the maze. Children ran in and out of its openings, flushed and laughing.

  The entire backfield was broken into sections separating the older, rowdier kids from the younger ones. The older ones got the maze and all the horrors Calla had handpicked to scare the holy hell out of them. The younger set got the pumpkin carving and a mound of hay to climb on. The sections were fenced off by a rope and guarded by an adult to keep order.

  Toby was elected to sit and guard the maze entrance. Excited groups would bound over to him, tickets in hand and he would happily send them in in clusters of five. Then he’d sit back and listen as they screamed their way to the other side where Rosie stood with a bowl of goodies. Then the next group was sent in.

  “Toby!” Hanna bounded out of the crowd, her glittery gown shimmering and came to a stop on the other side of the fold up table Calla had draped in black cloth and sticky cobwebs. “Can I go in?”

  “Sorry, love, big kids only.”

  Her pinkened lips puckered. “But I’m big. I’m bigger than Kari!”

  Toby smothered a chuckle. “You’re taller than Kari, doesn’t make you bigger. But you can help me rip tickets, if you want?”

  Hanna hurried around the table and climbed into Toby’s lap. She took the tickets from the next set of kids and ripped them while he sat and watched the crowd.

  “Hey you two.”

  His mom and dad cut along the long line waiting to get in and stopped off to one side.

  “Hello! Ticket please.” Hanna held out her hand.

  Cole chuckled. “I’m too old to get scared.”

  Hanna frowned at that, not understanding the remark. Her gaze went to Toby, waiting for an explanation.

  Toby chuckled and squeezed her closer. “You’re not old, Dad.”

  Cole put a hand to his stomach. “I just saw a boy put eight hot dogs away in under ten minutes and it hit me that that used to be me. Now, I eat two and my colon—”

  “Cole!” Beth swatted him. “That’s disgusting!”

  Cole smirked. “Yet I don’t see you denying it.”

  Beth stifled a grin behind a frown and turned back to Hanna. “I was on my way to get candy apples, but I’m not sure which one to get. I wish I knew someone who could help me.”

  Hanna’s face lit up. “I know all about candy apples!” She threw herself out of Toby’s lap and scrambled around the table. “I can help you!”

  She grabbed Beth’s hand and practically dragged her in the opposite direction, chattering on loudly about all the different candy apples and the proper way to eat them.

  “She’s adorable,” Cole said once they were alone.

  Toby nodded as he went back to the job of accepting and tearing tickets now that his buddy was stolen away.

  “Yeah, she really is.” He grinned at his dad. “And she knows it.”

  Sean took that moment to appear next to Cole, panting and wheezing. He doubled over, hands falling to his knees as he struggled to breathe. Colten was at his side, equally out of breath, but grinning.

  “Hey boys,” Toby said, eyeing them. “Having fun?”

  The two roared with laughter. Sean actually had to wipe his eyes as Colten slumped against him for support.

  “We just tossed Owen into the pond,” Colten howled. “He’s so pissed!”

  Toby bit back his own chuckles. “Your moms are going to kill you, you know that, right?”

  “Hey!” The loud bellow had several heads turning. Owen charged forward, shouldering through the crowd like a bull through a china shop. His clothes were sopping wet and there was murder in his eyes.

  “Run!” Colten cried, grabbing Sean.

  The two were off, pounding in the opposite direction with Owen tearing after them.

  “Ah boys.” Cole exhaled.

  “I remember being the one to get tossed into the pond,” Toby muttered. “While Damon and Jared took off laughing like idiots. He’ll be fine.”

  Cole nodded, but there was seriousness in his eyes now. “Any word on what’s happening with Addy’s situation?”

  “Nothing from the sheriff yet. He’s still investigating, I guess. Addy did talk to Jim though and he says this gives her full custody, unless the grandparents decide to file against her. Addy doesn’t think they would, but we’ll be ready if they do.”

  Cole exhaled with a shake of his head. “What a mess. Do you want me to talk to Sheriff Benson?”

  Toby shook his head. “No, thanks.”

  His dad relented. “So, how much longer do you have to be here?”

  Toby checked his watch. “Damon’s supposed to get here any minute now. Then I’m going to head over and help Addy with the ticket sales.”

  “Didn’t your sister pencil you in for a break?”

  Toby laughed. “That is my break.”

  Damon took that moment to arrive. He smacked their dad on the arm as Toby pushed himself out of the chair.

  “I’ll be back in an hour,” he promised his brother.

  Waving him away, Damon flopped down and stared at the line of kids with narrowed eyes. “I don’t think you want to go in there,” he told the group. “I don’t think you guys can handle it.”

  After a quick exchange of amusement with his father, Toby left. He followed the path lights to the inn and the woman at the very top of the hill. She stood in front of a fold up table, a cashbox open in front of her and a roll of tickets in her hand. She was dressed as Dorothy and the little blue skirt was all manners of distracting.

  He walked up behind her as the couple she’d been serving walked away and circled her waist, careful not to touch her injured arm.

  “Keep that costume on later,” he growled into her ear.

  Addy chuckled and leaned into him. “Got a thing for Dorothy?”

  He shook his head. “I’ve got a very hard thing for you and that tight pussy of yours.”

  He tugged her back, making sure she felt the weight of his need for her press into her ass.

  “Toby! Children!” He would have taken her scolding seriously if it hadn’t come out in a breathless gasp.

  “That’s the only reason I haven’t dragged you inside.” Nevertheless, he released her and took a safe step back. “How’s sales?”

  Cheeks pink from the cold and his teasing, she beamed. “Amazing! I’m pretty sure most of these people are here to hear about what happened, but I don’t care. I’ve made more in one night than I’ve made all summer. Calla and I are talking about doing something for Christmas and Valentine’s Day. Basically every holiday from now until forever.”

  Toby chuckled. “You’re adorable.”

  She laughed. “Your sister is a genius!”

  “Yeah, she is.”

  Her brown eyes lifted to his. “How are you?”

  He shrugged. “Nothing new to report.”

  A couple with four kids stepped up to her table, money in hand. He waited while she handed them a long row of tickets and told them to have fun before giving into the urges and pulling her back into him.

  “Toby?”

  He set his chin on the top of her head. “Yeah?”

  She took a moment to answer. He was beginning to think she wouldn’t when she blurted it out.

  “I want to visit my parents.”

  Toby stiffened. “Your parents?”

  “Yeah.” She turned in his arms. “I know it’s probably a bad idea and a part of me cringes at the very idea, but I think this is one of those necessary steps I need to take if I’m going to truly put everything behind me, especially now that Jonathon is gone and I want to start fresh with you. Once I’ve tied up everything from my past, I won’t ever have to look back.”

  He thought about it. He considered what she was saying while putting aside his own bone deep need to tell her hell no. Those people weren’t her parents. Not in the way that
counted. They didn’t deserve to ever see her or the children again. But she wasn’t asking for his permission and he didn’t want her to. If this was something she needed to do, there really was only one thing to do.

  “Okay, when do you want to go?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know, honestly. I want to do it right away, but I know I’ll need to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for it first.”

  “All right, well, you tell me when and we’ll go.”

  “We?” Her features softened. “You’ll go with me?”

  He was about to tell her under no circumstances in hell would he ever let her go anywhere near there alone when Sheriff Benson climbed up the incline and approached the table. Parker was nowhere in sight, but the sheriff’s presence alone was enough to make Toby stiffen. His arm remained firmly locked around Addy even as she glanced back to see what had caught his attention.

  “Sheriff.” She straightened. “Are you here for the party?”

  Benson shook his head. “No, I came to talk to you two, if you got a minute.”

  Addy exchanged a quick glance with Toby before turning to scan their surrounding area. She spotted Calla making her rounds and waved the blonde over.

  “Would you mind manning the table a minute?” she asked when Calla joined them.

  Calla looked from the sheriff to Addy and nodded. “Take your time.”

  They thanked her before following the stone path to the front porch. Inside, the warm smell of baked goods and hot chocolate greeted them. They didn’t go all the way in where Lily was passing out treats in the kitchen. Addy took them into the parlor and shut the doors behind them.

  “Would you like something to drink?” she asked.

  The sheriff shook his head. “I’m sorry to bother you during your party, but I’m going to be filing my report in the morning and I thought you’d like to know what I’ve concluded.”