Finn shrugged. “The woman got it into her head that I’d attacked her and they didn’t give me a chance to explain what had happened. They kicked up such an uproar about having a murderous heathen aboard that the captain was forced to set me ashore.”
“He abandoned you? Of all the cowardly, double-crossing, traitorous things to do!”
Finn’s heart warmed at her defense of him. “I really couldn’t blame him. They were paying passengers. I was not. Dropping me off lost him nothing but an easily replaced cook, whereas getting rid of them would have meant returning their passage fees. I hold no ill will toward him for his decision.”
Lucy snorted and muttered something under her breath about vengeance, yellow-bellied cowards, and a particularly sensitive part of a male’s anatomy.
Finn chuckled and shook his head. “Yes, well. The captain, and his balls or lack thereof, was the least of my worries. I only had a little money and I was going to have to use what I had to buy passage on the next ship I could find. But before I could do so, I was set upon by thieves. I woke up in a hospital several days later. All my belongings had been stolen.”
“Oh, Finn.”
Finn shrugged. “It happened. There wasn’t anything I could do to change the situation. No use railing against my fate.”
Lucy shook her head, her lips pinched. Then she jumped up, and before he could say anything she’d deposited herself in his lap and wrapped her arms about his neck.
“You may not rail against your fate, but I do. You are a good man, Finnegan Taggart. And you deserve so much better from life.”
Finn sat frozen for a moment, certain he should remove her from his lap, but wanting to do nothing more than wrap his arms about her and hold her there forever.
“Stop fighting it,” Lucy whispered in his ear. She pressed a kiss to his neck and he was lost.
Lucy moaned when Finn crushed her to him, and the sound spurred him on even while in some corner of his mind a warning bell was clanging. He needed to stop this, now, while he still could. His hands reached for her, but instead of pushing her off, they tangled in her hair, angling her face toward him. She met his lips eagerly, opening to him so he could explore every inch of her mouth. She shifted against him, trying to press as much of her soft flesh as she could against him.
“No,” Finn said, dragging his mouth from hers. They both panted in the flickering light of the fire, staring at each other while their heart rates slowly calmed. “Lucy, we can’t do this. I need to go.”
He stood, gently setting her away from him. His heart broke at the mixture of hurt and anger on her face, but he couldn’t do something that they’d both regret. Letting her back into his heart meant drawing her into his world, and that was something he could not do. Not while he worked for Halford. Maybe not ever. He had too many enemies. Too many who would hurt Lucy just to get to him. The image of Rachel bleeding at his feet flashed through his memory and he flinched away from it. The thought of Lucy ending up the same way burned a hole in his heart. He couldn’t live if she came to harm because of him.
“You haven’t told me what happened,” she said, barring his way to the door. “How did you get mixed up with Philip?”
Finn sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “Philip found me in that hospital. He paid for my care, offered to pay for my passage to America.”
“And in return?”
“In return, I’d be sort of an indentured servant. I’d work for him, doing whatever he asked, for a period of time.”
Lucy took a long, slow breath. “For how long?”
“Ten years.”
“And how many of those years do you have left?”
“A year and a half, give or take. I worked for him a short while before I came to your sister in Boston.”
“I’m surprised he let you work for her if you are such an asset to him.”
Finn shrugged. “He was against it at first. But as long as it didn’t interfere with the duties he laid out for me, he was willing to give me a little leeway. And he thought having me in the household of a wealthy socialite might afford him future opportunities he could cultivate. I would never have exploited Brynne for his gain, but he didn’t need to know that.”
Lucy snorted. “Sure. You wouldn’t exploit her; just kidnap her daughter for ransom.”
Anger spiked through him at the reminder. At her for bringing it up and at himself for allowing the situation to happen in the first place. “You know why I did what I did.”
Lucy bit her lip and looked down. “I know.” She glanced back up at him through her lashes and his heart clenched, any anger he’d felt melting away. God, but she was beautiful.
“I know you were just protecting Coraline. I’m sorry.”
He nodded. Her eyes roamed over his face, focusing on his lips for a moment before coming back to meet his gaze.
“Couldn’t you…couldn’t you just disappear? You and I, we could go someplace, somewhere far away. Australia, maybe. Or back to California, to your family, your tribe…”
“No. I can’t ever go back there.”
Lucy frowned but Finn wasn’t ready to delve into that story. “I appreciate your concern on my behalf, but I don’t want you involved. Halford might be a corrupt swine, but he did save my life once. I owe him a debt, and I always pay my debts. Besides, there are always ways around the more disagreeable tasks he sets me. And so far, I haven’t done much except follow him around and make sure no one plunges a knife in his back.”
“So you’ll continue to be at his beck and call for the next two years?”
Finn tried to ignore the sinking feeling that permeated through him when he gazed at Lucy. He’d give anything to run away with her. But she wouldn’t be happy if she were never to see her sisters again. And if Halford ever found them, Lucy would be nothing more than a way to punish Finn. He wouldn’t allow that to happen to her.
He stood and walked to the door.
“Finn, wait.”
He paused with his hand on the knob, his eyes on the ground while he gathered the strength to walk out of the room and leave her there. “I was happy to see you, Lucy,” he said quietly. “I’m glad to know that you are okay, that your family is doing well. But I wish you had never come.”
He glanced up, steeling himself for the pain he’d see in her face at his words. The pain was there, swimming in her eyes with her unshed tears. But mixed with it was an anger that burned hot and fierce. Good. If he could stoke that anger hot enough, maybe it would burn so brightly it would incinerate the last of the love she felt for him. He dreaded what he was about to do. The bile rose from the pit of his stomach but he choked it down and turned to face her.
It would hurt him less if he could tear out his own heart and hand it to her, but if he had to hurt her to keep her safe, he would. Even if doing so would destroy him in the process.
“Halford might play nice for the public, but he isn’t someone to trifle with. Give up this game and go home. You won’t win. I don’t deny that I desire you. You’re a beautiful woman and I’ve been alone a very long time. But it means nothing more than that. I did love you once, but that was a long time ago. Now, all you are is a liability. A thing from my past that I wish had stayed buried. Go home before you destroy both our lives.”
He turned and left her standing there, her tears streaming down her face. The sight would join the other image he had of her, when he’d left her in Boston, both haunting him for the rest of his life. He hurried through the hotel as quickly as he could.
And when he was safe inside his own room, he sank to the floor and let his own tears flow.
Chapter Eight
Lucy stared into the cup of coffee before her. She hadn’t slept at all after Finn had left. The ache he left behind each time he touched her was becoming unbearable. And there were too many thoughts running through her mind, too much breaking her heart. She had never felt so bone weary and soul sick in her life. Considering what she had been through in the last several
years, that was saying something indeed.
A knock sounded at her door.
“Enter,” she called.
“The carriage is ready to take us to the school, miss.” Lilah entered and took Lucy’s shawl from the armoire.
Lucy stared into her cup a moment longer. If she had any sense of self-preservation, she’d be on the next train to Boston.
“Thank you, Lilah. I’m afraid I won’t be able to stay too long. Mr. Halford has invited me to the theater tonight.”
A slight purse of the maid’s lips was the only indication that she didn’t approve.
“What is it, Lilah?”
The maid glanced at the door, as if expecting someone to be there listening and then sat down opposite Lucy. “I know it’s not my place, Miz Lucy, but I think it would be best if you didn’t see too much of Mr. Halford.”
Lucy cocked her head. “And why is that?”
“It’s only, well Mr. Halford…he’s…well, he’s…”
“It’s okay, Lilah. Tell me what you know.”
“He’s not a good man. He pretends to be. But deep down, he’s a bad one.”
Lucy turned her back so Lilah could drape the shawl across her shoulders. “I know that.”
Lilah’s mouth dropped open. “Then why do you stay? Why do you keep lettin’ him court you? You should get far away from him.”
“It’s not that simple. I need to help my friend.”
“Mr. Taggart?”
A faint smile crossed Lucy’s lips. “Yes.”
Lilah cocked her head, her eyes narrowed slightly as she scrutinized Lucy. “You still love that man?”
Lucy looked at her maid, surprised at her forwardness. It wasn’t that long ago that the woman had been a slave, subject to all manner of horrid punishments for lesser infractions than talking out of place. But Lilah returned her gaze, her strength and intelligence shining from her deep brown eyes.
“Yes, I do. Very much.”
“And does he love you?”
Lucy gave a mirthless laugh. “Well, that is the question of the day.”
Lilah reached across the table and squeezed Lucy’s hand. “What happened since the ball? You tell Miz Lilah what’s going on. Maybe I can help you figure it out,” she said with a smile.
Lucy looked into Lilah’s kind, concerned eyes and shook her head. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“I’ve always found the beginnin’ a good place to start.”
Lucy laughed and took a deep breath. Then she filled Lilah in on her recent bout with Finn. When she was done, the maid sat back in her chair and shook her head. “Well now, that is a tale indeed. Though it does explain why a man like Mr. Taggart is mixed up with one such as Halford. I’d always wondered. What a pickle.”
“To put it mildly.” Lucy rubbed her forehead, trying to ease the ache behind her eyes. “For the first time in my life, I’m at a loss as to what I should do. When I was younger, it wouldn’t have been a question. I would have marched right into Philip’s room and demand he release Finn from his bargain. Or better yet, I’d simply truss Finn up like a Christmas goose and put him on the first ship to Australia or some other far off place where Philip would never find him. With me going along to keep him company, of course.”
Lilah smiled. “And now?”
Lucy sighed. “Now I’m older. And. . .a little wiser. Rushing into an ill-thought-out plan would help no one. And though I hate to do it, I have given Finn’s wishes in the matter some consideration. I understand why he wants me out of the way. If our positions were reversed, I’d be doing the same thing.”
Lilah thought for a moment, her brow creased. “What is it you truly want?”
“I want to stay and fight for him. Need to fight. I need him. I can’t even imagine going back to my old life, knowing he is here. But…I think I must consider the possibility that the fight might be over. How many times must the man tell me he doesn’t want me, before I listen?”
“Well, at least one more,” Lilah said, smiling.
Lucy laughed. And then groaned. “The thing is, I wholeheartedly believe that he truly doesn’t want me here, and even though I understand his reasoning, that knowledge still destroys a small part of me.”
“Yes, but that’s where the true problem lies, isn’t it? In that reasoning of his. What you need to do is listen to your gut. What does it say, deep down in your bones?”
Lucy looked back into her teacup, stared into the creamy, brown liquid until her eyes blurred. “My instinct fairly screams that he still loves me.”
Lilah nodded. “Then his rejection of you ain’t coming from a lack of love, but from too much of it. He just wants you safe. Can’t fault a man for that. Ain’t that somethin’ worth fighting for? After all, what would you do if you were in his position? Indentured to a criminal who would only see a loved one as leverage to use to his own ends? Who belonged to a family he’d already threatened?”
Lucy met Lilah’s gaze. “I’d do the same thing. My damned level best to get him as far away as possible.”
Lilah nodded. “So.”
“So,” Lucy echoed. “I have a choice to make. Abide by Finn’s wishes and return to Boston, abandoning him to his fate but keeping myself safe. Or stay, and try to help him, free him from the tangled web he’s trapped himself in.”
“And maybes you can free him to find a future with you.”
“Yes.”
“You know what you want to do.”
“Yes.”
“Then why you hemmin’ and hawin’?”
“What are the possible consequences my staying might have for Finn? If Philip ever found out who I really am and what I mean to Finn, we’d both be in even greater danger. Philip has already tried to get his hands on a Richardson once, when he ordered the kidnapping of my niece Coraline. I doubt he’ll have any qualms about using me to gain what he wishes from my family. And the last thing I want to do is give him something else to use to bend Finn to his will.”
“But what if you do nothin’ at all? They’s consequences for everythin’. If you give up now, what happens to your man?”
“If I do nothing…Finn will remain a virtual prisoner for another two years. Or worse. I can’t imagine Finn will ever be allowed to just walk away.”
Lilah didn’t say anything, but sat quietly watching as Lucy came to her decision.
“I can’t allow that. Not if I can do something to help him.”
Lilah thought for a moment and then nodded, coming to a decision of her own. “Well then. I’ll help you.”
“You will?”
“If it will git you away from that devil Mr. Halford any faster, yes.”
“I appreciate it. I could use all the help I could get. But I don’t wish to place you in danger. And I’m not sure what you can do.”
“Don’t you worry none about me. I can take care of myself. As for what I can do to help you, I used to be a part of Mr. Halford’s household,” Lilah said, her lips thinning.
A knot of ice settled in Lucy’s stomach. “You mean you were once his slave.”
Lilah jerked her head in a quick nod. “His late wife brought me with her when she married him. I was in his household ’til the day I was freed. As soon as I was able, I left. But I know his house, I know his servants. If it’s information you want, I can help you get it.”
“I didn’t know that he’d been married.”
Lilah’s lips puckered in a sad frown. “It was many years ago. She died six months after their marriage. And if you ask me, I think she was glad to go.”
Lucy raised her eyebrows and Lilah’s eyes flashed with anger.
“Mr. Halford treated his wife worse than the dirt on his shoes. He married her for her money and once he got that she weren’t no use to him no more. He’d go whorin’ and drinkin’ right under her nose and after the first beating he gave her, she didn’t complain no more. She done her best to stay outta his way, but I still never seen her without a bruise somewhere. Bad enough to
be the devil to other folks, and he had plenty evil to spread around. But to his own wife? Like I said, Mr. Halford is a bad man.”
“I agree,” Lucy said, nauseated at the life his poor wife must have lived. “If we could expose him, show the public who he really is and the crimes he’s committed, he’d be arrested. He’d spend the rest of his life in prison.”
Lilah snorted. “I’d prefer he get hanged.”
“Well, I’m sure his crimes merit it. But I’ll settle for getting Finn away from him and ensuring that we won’t be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives.”
“Then we’ll just have to come up with a plan.”
Lucy smiled. It was good not to be alone in this fight. “Yes, we will. In the meantime, I’ve been thinking of a few worthy ways I can spend my time. Sitting around this hotel all day has grown a bit wearisome.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve got a few other plans in mind that I’ll need your help with. I hope it’s okay with you, but I’ve hired you away for the time being. While I am here, you’ll be working for me.”
Lilah grinned. “That suits me just fine, Miz Lucy. Just fine, indeed.”
Lucy smiled back at her. She could have used her sisters’ expertise, but they were far away and Lucy had no intention of dragging them into this mess. They both had husbands and children now. It was best if the only neck being risked was her own.
…
From the moment Lucy walked into the school, she was enchanted. Lilah had done a wonderful job making the place as homey as possible. The school was housed in a small, ramshackle shed behind the small home Lilah shared with her sister Ruby and Ruby’s husband and children. There was no furniture in the school, but the walls and floorboards had been recently whitewashed and they’d been able to find an old chalkboard that had been discarded. It was cracked and had a large chunk missing from one corner, but they made do.
Since the students had no slates to use and paper was too expensive to use for sums and alphabet practice, Lilah had had to get a little creative. She’d made several small boxes that she filled with dirt that the students would write in with small twigs and sticks. It was an ingenious solution and Lilah beamed with pride when Lucy told her so. A small bookshelf at the front of the room held a tiny selection of books, but it was clear the modest library was Lilah’s pride and joy.
Blood Blade Sisters Series (Entangled Scandalous) Page 48
