Hope Returns

by Dorey Whittaker

  Harold, like Hope, had not been in the den earlier that evening. All he knew was what he saw on Estelle’s face when she opened the den door and that was enough.

  Michael seemed more distracted than usual tonight. He was having trouble holding up his end of the conversation. More than once he excused himself from the table, something Estelle usually forbade, but tonight seemed to actually encourage. Each time Michael returned to the table he seemed rattled and unfocused. Hope noticed a slight bead of sweat at his temple even though the temperature in the house would not merit it.

  As the evening came to a close and the guests were gone, Hope knew that whatever had started with that phone call would not be discussed in front of her. The Gundersols, although brutal toward each other, never aired their dirty laundry in front of outsiders. Tonight was one of those nights Hope was glad to be counted as an outsider and could not wait to get home. She was certain that Michael would never explain tonight’s power struggle, and she was right. The drive home was quiet. Hope found herself actually feeling sorry for him. When he turned into her driveway he said, “I made a few calls tonight. That woman in the maroon Chrysler works for a gossip magazine. She cannot be trusted and has been known to make things up when she cannot get an exact quote. Hope, under no circumstances are you to even acknowledge her. If you see her again, just walk away, do not talk with her and do not even listen to her if she tries to talk with you. Do you understand me? Now get in the house and I will call you tomorrow. I have several more phone calls to make tonight so I need to get going.”

  Chapter 21

  New Year’s Eve morning began early for Hope. Her private line ringing startled her out of a much needed slumber, but forgetting the three hour time difference, Hope dove for the receiver expecting to hear Lisa’s voice on the other end. “Hi, Mom, how is the honeymoon going?”

  Hope was startled to hear Michael’s irritated voice on the other end of the line, “Hope, it is me. Something has come up and I will not be able to escort you to that New Year’s Eve bash after all. There is some out-of-town business that just came up and I will be gone for three days.”

  The flat tone of his voice, coupled with this obviously practiced little speech, caused Hope to questioned him, “Michael, what kind of out-of-town business could you possibly have over New Year’s?”

  The tone in his voice became angry and impatient and Hope immediately knew she had crossed the line. “What do you know about my business? How dare you question my motives. I do not answer to you.”

  Uncharacteristically, Hope took the safety of this phone call to voice one of her long standing issues. “I know, Michael. You only answer to your mother, right? And by the way, I did not say a word about your motives, but now that you mention them, should I be worried?”

  “Hope, I don’t know what has gotten into you lately, but I don’t like it. You used to be such a cooperative partner but now you question everything I do. I have a lot of responsibilities on me and I cannot have you second-guessing my every move. We are getting married in three months and then we go right into the main season of my campaign run. I will not tolerate a wife of mine not giving me her absolute support. Do you hear me, Hope?”

  “Then maybe we should consider postponing the wedding for now. I have no control over the trial back in Georgia and you seem to be so focused on your business you don’t really have any time for me anyway.” Hope stopped short of making this a clean break. She so wanted to just scream “forget it,” but then who would be there for him in his time of need?

  “Hope, there is no postponing of this wedding. Why is that always your come-back? Eight months ago you couldn’t wait to become Mrs. Michael Gundersol. We were supposed to get married last weekend, remember? But then you decided to take off and go looking for your long lost birth mother, something all of us warned you against. But, oh no, Hope knew better. I have put up with all of your stubborn, willful behavior, believing you just needed to grow up a little, but I am done with it. You better come to your senses and join the team or else.”

  “Or else what; will you call off the wedding? I doubt that. And, are we not talking about our wedding and marriage here? So what team am I supposed to join, the Gundersol political team, perhaps? I don’t believe I am cut out for your family business. I cannot face a lifetime of this.” Taking a deep breath and steadying herself, Hope finally stated the obvious, “Michael, I still care about you, but I no longer want to marry you. The cost is way too high for its benefits. You need someone who likes the Gundersol lifestyle; I do not. So, Michael, you are free and so am I. The wedding is off.” The absolute wash of freedom at saying these words out loud surprised and energized Hope. There was nothing he could say that would dissuade her from calling off this wedding so Hope simply placed the receiver back in the cradle and ended their last conversation. Checking the time, Hope decided to jump into the shower before calling Grandma Reiner. She knew her grandmother would be pleased that she had finally called off the wedding and could not wait to share the news with her.

  As Hope was drying off she heard the house phone ringing and wondered who would be calling this time of morning; five minutes later that answer was obvious. Hope stepped out of the bathroom right into the face of her mother. “Hope, what is this about you calling off the wedding?”

  Pushing past her and heading toward her bedroom, Hope responded, “Mother, I see Estelle wasted no time putting you to work this morning.”

  “Of course Estelle would call me with this kind of news,” Jean’s response was both defensive and angry. “What are you thinking, Hope? You are ruining your chance of a great future with Michael. That man is going places and he wants to share that journey with you as his wife.”

  “No, he doesn’t, Mother, and that’s the point. He does not know how to share. He does not share his business, his goals, his dreams, and certainly not his emotions. I have tried to be understanding. I know his mother rules that family with an iron fist,” then turning toward her mother, Hope added, “among other people, but I am convinced that he really does not love me.”

  “That is absolutely preposterous, Hope. He has stood by you for two years, waiting for you to grow up enough to take you as his bride. We have all tried to be patient while you took off and looked for your birth mother. He understood how important that was to you, didn’t he? We changed the wedding date to accommodate you, remember? Estelle told me that her son is devastated over this. He loves you, Hope. Michael is still a young man, even though he has all this responsibility riding on his shoulders. What is it that you want from him? Don’t you think you are being just a little bit selfish?”

  “Mother, I know he is under a lot of strain right now. I also know how much pressure Estelle puts on him as well. The idea of that woman controlling and dominating my life from now on is intolerable to me. I always felt my job was to make him feel loved and cared for—-for himself —not just because he is a Gundersol. I’ve watched how his parents treat him, how they demand so much more from him than he is actually capable of doing. I know someone has to love that man and show him he has worth beyond the family checkbook. You and Estelle convinced me that was my job and I tried, I really did.”

  Jean pleaded, “Hope, he is a wonderful man. If I were willing to have a talk with Estelle about backing off a little and giving you two some time to work things out, would you at least consider giving him another chance?”

  “A chance to do what, Mother, give him ten more chances to show me all the ways he doesn’t respect me or my opinions? How about ten more ways he can show me he doesn’t love me?” Deciding to put all her cards on the table, Hope added, “Mother, do you realize that he and I have seriously dated for two years and he has never even tried to make a move on me? Do you realize that I have been engaged for a year and that I am still a virgin? About a year ago I was actually convinced that he might be gay, but one night when he had had too much to drink, he told me about an affair he had during college; as a matter of fact he got rather gra
phic about it and I found myself feeling rather jealous of the girl. Either he was lying then or he is lying now, either way, I have never been the beneficiary of his physical affection.”

  Not knowing how to respond to this level of honesty from her daughter, Jean scrambled for something to say. “Hope, maybe Michael is just trying to show you, his future wife, the honor and respect you deserve. Maybe the fact that he is showing such self-control is exactly the way he is showing you how much he does love you. Maybe that kind of self-control is why he gets so irritable with you sometimes. Did you ever think of it that way?”

  “No, it never occurred to me that he was doing that, Mother. So if that is true, then Estelle is not the only woman in his life who is putting undue pressure on him. Maybe that is why he was so angry when we had to postpone the wedding. Could that be why he withdraws from me whenever I try to get physical with him?”

  “Maybe, Hope. Don’t you think you owe it to him to reconsider this? I will talk to Estelle and you talk to Michael, okay?”

  As Jean closed the door behind her, Hope fell onto her bed in tears and cried, “Just fifteen minutes of freedom, that is all I had.” Hope longed to return to the shower, if only to experience a few more moments of that wonderful feeling of self-determination. “Why is it my job to rescue him? Why must I be the bigger person here? Why does my mother seem to care more about his future than her own daughter’s?”

  Sitting up on her bed, Hope replayed the conversation with her mother. “She will talk with Estelle, right. When has Estelle ever listened to my mother? Even if she is successful, that won’t last long, not with that woman.” Casting her gaze on the telephone next to her bed, Hope decided not to call her grandmother today; after all, she had nothing good to report.

  Chapter 22

  Lisa’s New Year’s Eve morning started quite differently than her daughter’s. A gentle tap on the door signaled their morning coffee was setting outside the door of their honeymoon suite. Ben grabbed his robe, cracked the door open just wide enough to lift the silver tray that held a carafe of freshly brewed coffee and two china cups. He poured two cups of coffee, walked around the bed, set Lisa’s coffee within her reach, bent down and kissed his bride and said, “Coffee is here, Lisa, time to rise and shine.”

  Not yet comfortable letting Ben see her in all her morning glory, Lisa slid into the bathroom, brushed her teeth and hair, then slipped into her new silk robe that Gladys had given her as a honeymoon gift. Never one for wearing much makeup, Lisa was used to being seen without it so just a quick touch of lipstick was all she needed to feel quite dressed up.

  Lisa picked up her coffee cup and joined her husband on the balcony. Although quite chilly this early in the morning, the view was well worth the discomfort. Ben patted the empty seat next to him on the two-seater lounge and tucked the woolen throw around his bride. “What a beautiful morning this is.”

  Lisa snuggled in close to Ben, sipped her coffee and said, “Ben, it scares me to think about how close we came to never meeting. Do you know how much I love you?”

  “Lisa, not nearly as much as I love you. You and I were meant for each other. I don’t know how, but I know God would have used something to bring us together and that is enough for me.”

  “What is on the agenda for today, Ben? I know we have that huge dinner party and concert this evening, but what will we do to occupy our day?”

  Ben waited a second before answering, then smiled, “Lisa, I know we said these four days were just for us, but I know you are dying to talk to Hope and I wouldn’t mind checking in on Benny, so how about we take a walk down to the dining room, have a bite of breakfast and then find a private phone in the lobby and make a few phone calls?”

  Beaming with delight, Lisa responded, “That’s a great idea, Ben. I know Scott and Susan have Benny’s New Year’s all mapped out but he will still be home until at least eleven this morning. I’m not sure what Hope’s plans are, but I can at least leave her a message to let her know we are thinking of her.”

  During breakfast Ben decided to bring up a topic that had been bothering him ever since the first day he knew he was going to ask Lisa to marry him. “Lisa, have you thought about what we should do about Gladys? I hate the idea of her living all alone now that you will be moving in with Benny and me.”

  “Ben, Gladys, Ruth and I talked about this way before you actually asked me to marry you. As soon as I suspected our friendship was moving in that direction, I told Gladys I was determined to remain single if it meant that I would have to abandon her at this time in her life.”

  A puzzled look crossed Ben’s face, then that familiar chuckle Lisa had come to love, “So, obviously you settled this issue without me, right?”

  “Actually, Ruth Bascom came up with the answer,” Lisa chuckled. “She isn’t getting any younger either and her neighborhood is getting a little seedy. Now that her eyes are causing her trouble, she fears she might not be able to drive much longer and her house is too far away from the bakery to walk. Ruth offered to sell her house and move in with Gladys. That way she will be close to the bakery and neither she, nor Gladys, will be alone. They both knew it would have to be this way before I would feel free to accept your proposal.”

  Ben leaned back against his chair and said, “You mean I have been worrying about something you women have already taken care of?”

  “Ben, there was no way Gladys was going to allow me to use her as my excuse for walking away from you. She knew my loyalty to her would have been a deal breaker for me. Ruth is putting her house on the market soon after the holidays and will move in after we get my things cleared out.”

  Ben took hold of his bride’s hand and said, “I love it when a plan comes together.”

  Lisa smiled and quoted Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.” Ben, Gladys quoted that verse to me every day during my recovery. At first I resented it. Eventually I came to believe in it. Now I am living it. God does keep His promises—if we will simply trust Him.”

  After breakfast they touched base with Benny. “Dad, I’m having a great time. Scott and Harry are taking me to a professional wrestling match at the big arena this afternoon. Then tonight they are getting a babysitter and Scott, Susan, Harry, Carol Anne and I are going to the midnight showing of the new “Rocky” movie. You don’t mind, do you, Dad? I know you and I were going to go see it together, but I can watch it twice.”

  “I don’t mind, Benny,” Ben reassured him. “We watched all three of the other “Rocky” movies two or three times, remember? It never gets old, right?”

  “Right, Dad. Are you and Lisa…Mom coming back tomorrow?”

  Ben practically moaned at the thought of ending this wonderful time alone with his new bride. “Yes, Benny, we are. We should be back around one o’clock so you need to be packed and ready. Gladys and Ruth went back to Jefferson yesterday, right?”

  “Yes, they left yesterday morning. I’ll be ready well before you get here, Dad. Have a great New Year’s Eve and I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

  Glad that Benny was having such a great time, Ben handed the phone over to Lisa so she could call Hope. “I’m almost afraid to call her, Ben. I never know which side of the rollercoaster I will experience with her. One day she is madly in love with Michael and the next she is ready to call off the wedding. One day I am riding high, feeling like she has made a good decision and with the next conversation I am plummeting down the other side, despairing over Hope’s indecision. Is this what every parent experiences, or is this just the consequence of not having been in her life for the first twenty-two years?”

  Ben smiled and suggested, “Lisa, it might be a little bit of both. You’re not comfortable speaking out because you don’t think you have the right. I’ve heard lots of parents talk about how hard it was watching their grown kids make bad decisions. Parents with good kids, parents with rebellious kids. Kids are kids and
they have wills of their own and sometimes they just won’t listen and the parents have to love their kids either way. No one ever said being a parent is easy.”

  “I’m learning that,” Lisa agreed. “I guess I used to daydream about how my little girl’s life was playing out and it was always perfect and wonderful. It was obviously much better than it would have been living with me and for that I will be forever grateful. I know I made the right decision. I gave her life and then I gave her a chance at happiness. She is an adult and has the right to blaze her own trail in life. I just wish she knew that God loves her and that she can turn to Him for guidance.”

  “Lisa, I don’t believe in coincidences. Your daughter came back here just in time to save your life, right? She knows there is family here that loves her and wants the best for her. She heard the gospel several times. She heard it and she witnessed it in your life, Gladys’s life and even in Ruth’s life. There is no way that girl could miss the truth that God is in the business of making people whole again; that He loves us, forgives us and wants to bring wholeness and healing to people who will simply respond to His love. She heard that loud and clear so we just need to continue praying for her and be there for her.”

  Lisa pondered this for a moment before saying, “Ben, I’m just not sure it is a good idea for me to call her right now. I do not want to risk spoiling our last day here and I don’t think I could help it if the phone call goes badly.”