Dreamless

by Jenniffer Wardell

  Her normal reserve was helpless against him. “I’m just tired,” she tried, voice already unsteady as she pulled her hands away from his. A second later, she already missed their warmth. “Perhaps I’m coming down with something. You should probably stay away from me the next few days. I wouldn’t want you to catch it as well.” By then, she would have thought of a way to tell him. It would break her heart, but to not do so would be so much worse.

  How had she ever thought she had options?

  The silence that followed was too loud. Finally, Thomas broke it. “What were you supposed to do to me?”

  Stunned, she whipped around to face him. He was standing where she’d left him, expression solemn and careful as he dismantled everything she’d thought she’d known. “I presume that whatever it was should have happened by now, and your employer dragged you back to express his or her displeasure.” The corners of his mouth curved upward a fraction. “And the first thing you do when you return is to tell me to stay away from you for a little while. I may be wrong, but it sounds very much like you’re trying to protect me.”

  Illiana’s knees threatened to give out. She sat down hard on the bed, staring at him with wide eyes. “You knew I wasn’t a witch.”

  “There’s a subtle difference in the way witches and sorceresses speak about magic. It’s hard to pick up on unless you’ve spent a great deal of time talking to both types of practitioners.” He sounded almost apologetic. “Clearly, you’re intelligent enough that you could qualify as a scholar without lying, so I knew it wasn’t merely to get into the library. I was the most logical target.”

  She spread her hands wide, lost for a response. “Then why didn’t you arrest me?”

  “On a suspicion?” Thomas shook his head. “You never once hurt me.”

  The words cut, but no more deeply than she deserved. He’d simply been waiting for evidence. “Blood.” Illiana’s voice was strained as she stood, reaching for her satchel. “I was supposed to get a sample of your blood to be used in a curse. After I leave, you’ll need to be on the lookout for—”

  Thomas intercepted her, catching her hands again. “You misunderstand me,” he said softly, tilting his head to make her meet his eyes. “I could have arrested you. Kings are allowed to indulge in irrational abuses of power.”

  She tried to pull her hands away again, but he wouldn’t let them go this time. “But you didn’t, because you wanted to see what I’d do.”

  “No.” Thomas’s voice was soft. “I didn’t want to lose you.”

  Illiana’s eyes filled, holding onto his hands as tightly as she could. “I’m not worth holding on to.”

  “You’re worth everything.” He pressed a kiss against her forehead. “Stay with me. Please.”

  Her response was to throw herself into his arms.

  Chapter 16

  Complicated Torture Methods

  The gossip was inevitable. Some of the whispers were about the mysterious prisoner, but no one who had seen her face clearly would contribute to the speculation. Those who had been in the castle long enough to speak knowledgeably about the situation were too loyal to discuss it with anyone who wasn’t.

  Besides, the Merricks were proving much more entertaining to talk about.

  “Why is it not bothering you at all that you regressed back to a twelve-year-old at some point?” Cam glared at his sister, arms braced against both sides of the doorway to keep Laurel from getting through. She was still wearing her full uniform, even though there was no need, and he had a sneaking suspicion she was trying to make a point of some kind. “Because I’m pretty pissed off you think I suddenly turned into a twelve-year old.”

  “I never said you were acting like a kid.” Laurel glared right back at him, jabbing a finger into his chest. “Though what you’re doing right now isn’t what I’d call mature behavior.”

  “Because you’re about to make a fool out of both of us!” he snapped back, causing a passing maid to perk up her ears in interest. Cam glared at her until she hurried away again, then went back to arguing with his sister. “I make my own decisions, Laurel. You know that. And you’re still about to go yell at Dad for something I supposedly did!”

  “You dope, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad for you.” Affection leaked through the frustration, making it less potent. “Which means I get to go yell at Dad.”

  “No, you don’t.” A part of Cam understood that Laurel meant well, despite the fact that she’d lost her mind. He still wanted to choke her for it. “Would you want me to go yell at your commander because he led you into a situation I decided was too dangerous for you?”

  “Try it and I’ll—” Realizing that she’d just made his point for him, she stopped the sentence and made an exasperated noise. “Fine. But you can’t stop me from being mad at him.”

  The concession seemed genuine, but Cam didn’t dare relax his arms just yet. He and Laurel had sneak-attacked each other more than once, over the years. “If I don’t get mad at him at least once a week, I feel like I haven’t done my duty as a son. I just wish you were mad at him for a reason that’s a little less insulting to me.”

  Laurel folded her arms across her chest. “It’s not insulting. I’m trying to protect you.”

  “From who? Dad’s mind-controlling powers?” When she shot him an exasperated look, he gave her his most serious expression in return. “I’m not kidding, Laurel. My tough-as-dragon’s-teeth big sister is having a panic attack that I’m cooling my heels at the castle. Nothing about that makes any sense to me.”

  She glared at him a little longer, then it seemed to hit her that he wasn’t kidding. When that sank in, she swore softly and let out a breath. “You always did have a talent for only hearing what you wanted to.”

  Now Cameron was really confused. “You know only girls speak in code, right? Not terrifying warrior women such as yourself?”

  She gave him another “you’re an idiot” look, but this time it was the sibling edition. “You said ‘we.’”

  “Still speaking in code here, Laurel.”

  “When you were talking about the princess wanting to hire us. You kept saying ‘we.’” She stopped, shaking her head. “No, it’s worse than that. You kept trying to stop yourself from saying ‘we,’ which meant that at least a part of you was smart enough to not want me to hear it.”

  “I was the one making the contact.” He felt the worry spark inside him again, but this time it was harder to tell himself that his sister’s insanity was to blame. “I decided the ‘we’ wasn’t professional, so I kept trying to stop myself.”

  Laurel gave a disbelieving snort. “Don’t give me that. You can’t keep a girlfriend longer than six months to save your life, and you picked a job where you’re never at the same guard station for longer than a year. Dad thinks you sabotage yourself to spite him, somehow.”

  He and Dad had talked about that before. Loudly. Cam wasn’t thrilled that Laurel felt the need to bring it up now. “So first you’re mad at Dad, and now you’re siding with him?”

  “No, because Dad’s wrong about that, too. You’re just careful about who and what you let matter.” Laurel’s tone gentled, which was oddly terrifying in context. “You backed Robbie one-hundred percent when he decided to just say no to the family business. You didn’t even make Mom call you twice before you used up all your vacation coming out here. And when you talk about the princess, you say ‘we.’”

  Cam’s fingers tightened on the doorframe. He could only imagine what his expression looked like, but it was bad enough that Laurel blew out a breath. “This is going to mess you up so bad, Cam,” she said quietly. “And I’m scared to death for you.”

  “She’s going to be fine.” The words were out of Cam’s mouth before he’d even had the chance to think them. The fact that his voice sounded strained didn’t help his peace of mind, either. “If she’s fine, I won’t get messed up.�
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  Laurel just stared at him. “Tell me you know how much trouble you’re in.”

  Cam sighed, closing his eyes. “I’m getting the general idea.”

  “Good.” When he opened his eyes again, Laurel was resolute. “I’ll stay at least until our prisoner is back out of the castle. Once Mason realizes this is a family emergency, he’ll stay, too.”

  Cam narrowed his eyes. “Tell him about the conversation we just had and I’ll paint all your armor pink.”

  Laurel grinned. “That’s the Cameron who used to jump out of trees at me.” She took a step back. “Of course, you know if you even—”

  Before she could finish someone barreled into Cam’s back, and he managed to get out of the doorway just in time not to get trampled. Without a word, the man shoved past Cam and ran down the corridor. It was only after he’d disappeared that Cam realized the guy had been sobbing.

  Laurel, who’d had to scramble out of the way as well, stared after the human cannonball with wide eyes. “Was that one of the castle guards?”

  “Yeah.” Cam glared after the man. “I told you Mom and Dad were given control of them after they’d screwed up and almost let Elena get kidnapped. Mom talked to the commander of the city guard, and he gave her a leave of absence pretty much immediately. Mom and Dad are both here as long the queen needs them to be.”

  “I know. Dad’s been saying for years that they couldn’t defend themselves against a cold.” She turned back to the doorway, looking intrigued. “But I didn’t know it was serious enough that Mom was making them cry.”

  Cam relaxed his arms. “How can you be so sure it’s Mom? I know she can be scary when she wants to be, but Dad’s willing to be more often.”

  Laurel shook her head. “Dad makes them shake. Mom makes them cry.” Clearly coming to a decision, she gave him a friendly nudge backwards through the door. “Come on. Let’s go see Mom and Dad torment people.”

  ~

  The scene in the courtyard was less interesting than they’d expected. The members of the castle guard were running around the outer perimeter—in full armor, mind you—though some of them were closer to staggering by that point. Occasionally, one of them would look longingly at the stone walls, as if dreaming of collapsing against the cool rock.

  They didn’t dare stop, however, because Dad was standing in the middle near the fountain, watching them with his arms folded across his chest and the most serious version of his death glare. His leg was still in splints, but no one had any doubt he could fully exercise his wrath should the need arise.

  Cam and Laurel walked up to stand next to him. Before either of them could speak, Alan glanced over at his middle son. “How’s Elena doing?” he asked quietly.

  “She’s dealing.” It wasn’t the answer he wanted to give, but a more accurate one would take twenty minutes and suggest that he’d spent way too long thinking about it. “She’s been holed up with Braeth, Dr. Flyte and her mother for most of the day looking over the notes her aunt put together. I haven’t really talked to her much.”

  The only time they’d managed a real conversation was that morning, when he’d insisted she have something more substantial for breakfast than a cup of tea. He’d asked her the same question his father had asked him, and she’d gotten an awful faraway look in her eyes.

  “It was strange, seeing her in person, but I’m more worried about my mother than anything.” She didn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’m fine.”

  He caught her hand, tilting his head until he caught her gaze. “I believe the first part, but that second bit sounds like a lie to me.”

  They’d stared at each other for a full minute, then Elena’s expression eased. “I’ll survive, then.” She touched his cheek. “Thank you for being here. It makes—”

  A sharp nudge from his sister jolted him back to reality. “Yeesh,” Laurel muttered. “The minute Mason sees that face, he’ll start taking bets on when you two get married. He’ll get half the castle involved.”

  Naturally, Dad’s selective hearing chose that exact moment to kick in. “Married?” He glanced back over at both of them again, the glare disappearing under the sheer weight of surprise. “Who’s getting married?”

  “One of the mercenaries in Laurel’s company,” Cam lied quickly, glaring at Laurel to cut off any poorly-timed elaboration. He could tolerate genuine worry—if he had to—but if she got serious about the teasing he’d have to figure out a way to knock her unconscious and hide her in a closet. “Where’s Mom? I thought we’d find both of you out here.”

  Alan’s scowled as he turned his attention back to the guards. “She’s testing their hand-to-hand combat skills one-on-one after I drain their will to live.” He checked his watch. “She just got started on her current victim, so she should be back out in a few minutes.”

  Laurel looked over the group with a leader’s practiced eye. “How many of them do you think you’ll keep?”

  “Not more than a third.” The disgust in his voice was harsher than his usual dislike of the castle guard. Needless to say, he and Mom had been less than pleased to hear that the idiots had nearly let Elena be kidnapped. “After we’ve culled all the dead weight, it’ll take at least a month to get the unit back into shape.”

  An idea sparked in Cam’s brain. “You could probably talk the queen into giving you and Mom the unit on a permanent basis,” he added helpfully, putting every ounce of effort into making his voice sound casual. “Then you wouldn’t have to come back and do this again in six months when it all falls apart without you.”

  Laurel gave her brother a sharp look. “Don’t you have a job to go back to?”

  Dad was also looking at him, but with real interest. “You’d guard Elena on a permanent basis?”

  Cam shrugged. “I like the idea of the castle guard no longer being raging incompetents. If I have to take over permanent duty as Elena’s personal guard to make that happen, I’d be willing.” As the words came out of his mouth, he was amazed at how much sense they made. It was a sound, logical reason, and even had the benefit of technically being true. The fact that the rest of the truth included the words “too far away” wasn’t something he actually had to admit out loud.

  Besides, Elena would just get into trouble without him around. Worrying about it from the border would drive him nuts.

  “So you’re just going to move in here permanently, as if I haven’t said a single intelligent thing for the last twenty minutes.” Unlike their father, Laurel’s disgust was aimed directly at Cam. “You’re right, it’s not Dad’s fault—you’re just too stupid to live.”

  “Laurel, stop. You sound like you’re five.” Alan looked at Cam. “Did something happen you need to tell me about?”

  Cam silently blessed his father’s lack of emotional nuance. If Mom had been out here, she would have had a detailed analysis of the whole idiotic fight by now. “Can you and Mom get away tomorrow morning? The aunt hasn’t tried anything so far, but when they start the spell circle she’ll get her powers back. I’d like more people on hand who are capable of stabbing her.”

  “We’ll be there,” Alan said. He turned to glower at a woman on the opposite side of the ring who was seriously thinking about collapsing, then checked his watch again. “I’m surprised. I wouldn’t have thought Jenkins would last this long.”

  Right on cue, Jenkins limped out of one of the side doors, holding onto his side like something terrible had happened to it. When he got closer, Cam could see the beginnings of what would become a really colorful black eye. Cam fought back a smile. Apparently, his mom had gone easy on the guy.

  Marie Merrick followed, wearing her normal workout clothes instead of the full uniform his dad had chosen. She barely looked winded, but there was a grudging respect on her face as she watched Jenkins walk away. When she caught sight of Cam and Laurel, her expression warmed. “I hate that I haven’t had the chance to
talk to either of you today.”

  She pulled them both into a quick group hug, which he and Laurel happily returned. “I’m amazed Dad’s letting you beat up all of them yourself,” Laurel said as they all pulled away again. “Even with his leg, I’d think he’d want a turn.”

  “He doesn’t want anyone to get off easily because he doesn’t feel at full strength.” Marie turned to her husband. “We want to keep an eye on Jenkins. He’s not ready yet, but with a little more of a push he could be.”

  “You’re the one with the training experience,” Dad said. “I’ll want to see him myself, but if you say keep him we keep him.”

  Mom shook her head. “I didn’t say keep him yet. I said he might be worth keeping.” That taken care of, she turned her attention to Cam. “I haven’t had the chance to talk to Elena, either. How is she?”

  “Cam says she’s dealing,” Laurel cut in, earning another glare from her little brother. She glared right back at him. “What? I just didn’t want you to go drifting off in the middle of the conversation again.”

  Cam wished briefly that they were both kids again, so he could kick his sister in the shin like she deserved. Picking up on this, Marie gave her son an odd look. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” he grumbled. “Like Laurel said, Elena’s managing.”

  “I wasn’t talking about Elena.” Now that he was looking more closely, Cam could definitely pick up the worry in his mother’s tone. At this point, he was amazed that people weren’t stopping him on the street to ask him what was wrong. “How are you handling all this?”

  It was an unwritten law in Cam’s head that it was wrong to get annoyed at your mother. To make sure he followed this, he took a few extra seconds before responding. “I’m mostly just standing around useless, wishing I had something to stab.”

  Dad clapped a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “You’ll feel that a lot, being a bodyguard. It’s good preparation for fatherhood.”