With her hand, she brushed my hair aside and kissed my neck. Lips caressed my ear, murmuring and nibbling in a way that tickled me and I smiled. Vanessa leaned back to look at me again; her eyes twinkled and her fingers dug into my thighs. I wasn't going to stop her like I'd stopped Mal. No matter how scared I got, I wouldn't give in. With splatters of water jumping over her shoulders and landing on my cheeks, she bent and pressed her lips to the space between my breasts. She kissed and licked her way downward. My nails dug into her arms. There was no stopping her. In a quick motion, she gripped my rear and tipped me backward. I braced myself on the tub. My heart raced in my chest and ears. With lips slightly parted, she kissed my scar, her eyes never leaving mine. She moved lower, an inch above where I wouldn't let anyone touch me. The water drowned out any sound, any thought that threatened to invade my mind. She lingered there as if waiting to see what I'd do. But I held fast to my resolve.
"Trust me." Her voice carried on an echo.
I did trust her and that part scared me the most. I held my breath then nodded. Her hands never left my thighs, but she lifted her fingers and laced them with mine. Her lips pressed against my scar in a delicate kiss again, but this time the pressure of her tongue followed the softness. She moved lower and a hunger pulsed inside me as she followed the torturous trail to my folds. The ache in my belly threatened to cut me in two. I'd experienced this before, when I was with Mal. Every bit of me longed for something for which I had no words until her tongue flicked over the swollen nub that led the way to my core. My body lurched in response, but I didn't pull away. Neither did she. Her eyes tore into me as if waiting for the cue to stop. I didn't give it. Her nimble tongue parted my soft crevices in an upward lick that forced a gasp from my lips.
It didn't hurt, not one bit.
She squeezed my hand and repeated the same motion, this time swirling her tongue around my nub. The ache in my stomach roared to a heat—a fire that needed quelling. Again, her tongue found its way between me, slicing me in two. I was paralyzed and dying, I was surely dying. Something powerful gathered inside me; my hips rose of their own accord to meet her lips. And as if something finally snapped, she devoured me. Her lips wrapped around mine and she probed me deeply. I heard myself cry out, and my legs trembled. I didn't want her to stop, I knew this now for certain. A moment longer and I would be dead. And then suddenly something broke, like a dam with weak walls waiting for the pressure to take them out. The sensation rushed me from head to toe and my body recoiled, tensing beneath her. I wanted to cry and scream all at once. Paralyzing pleasure tore me apart and I was left panting and scratching at her arms.
I couldn't stop myself from shaking. Vanessa kissed her way up my middle and back to my mouth, though instead of kissing me she pressed her forehead against mine. Her body seemed relaxed and an eerie calmness washed over her. I brushed my lips against hers then she lifted me into a hug, my legs wrapped around her middle. My body was like mush and I didn't think I could walk if I tried. I buried my face against her neck and she returned the gesture though I could feel her lips curve into a satisfied smile.
***
A knock at my bedroom door woke me from the half-sleep I'd fallen under. When I turned over, I expected Vanessa to be there but she was gone. In blinking away my haze, I vaguely remembered her whispering in my ear something about work. I pulled the blanket up around me and turned toward the door.
"Come in," I said. Xany entered in her usually enthusiastic manner, and tossed herself on the foot of the bed.
"Mal said to ask you—are you naked?" Her eyes widened.
"What?" I sat up and shook my head, only then realizing that nothing separated me and the sheets. "I guess I am."
"By yourself?" Xany gawked at me. The playful twinkle in her eyes made me laugh.
"It didn't start out that way. What were you saying about Mal?" I made sure to tuck the blanket around my torso.
"How did it start out? Did you have sex with Vanessa? Oooh, I bet you did!" Xany nearly tackled me when she lunged forward, her hands gripping my shoulders.
"Xany! Relax would you?" My face nearly exploded from the amount of heat the word sex had brought to my cheeks.
"Nee! Tell me, how was it?" She shook me a bit. Embarrassment turned to laughter once again. Xany had a way of making everything seem ridiculous.
"I think so. I mean, yes. Yeah... I... We did." The overwhelming desire to drown myself had me burying my face in a pillow. Answering Xany in the affirmative could only lead to more questions and more divulgences.
"Tell me everything." She let me go and tore the pillow from my grip.
"Sheesh. Hand me that shirt there, please." I pointed to the T-shirt dangling off the edge of the bed. Xany picked it up and gave it to me.
"Thanks." I slipped it over my head, tucking it as tightly around my middle as I could. These are the times I'm grateful for my affinity for oversized clothes.
"So, go on, tell me everything step by step." She giggled.
"I'm not telling you everything. You're the nosiest person on the planet." I huffed and yanked the pillow back to place it in my lap.
"For someone who just got laid you're very grumpy. Didn't you like it?" She tilted her head to the side. I watched her for a moment. Maybe Xany really didn't understand things like privacy and embarrassment. At this point in our friendship, I could tell that she didn't have a malicious bone in her body, especially when it came to me and our pack. Could she really be just completely innocent, or ignorant—though that doesn't sound very nice—of the prospect of secrecy? Or maybe most people are like Xany, and it's just me.
"I'm not grumpy. It was..." I paused. My cheeks continued to flame. "Is it supposed to feel like that?"
"Good?" Her brows flicked upward and a knowing smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
"Yes," I mumbled.
"Mhmm... It's supposed to feel very good." She tilted her head again; her greenish-blue eyes pierced mine as if she were looking into me more deeply than usual. For a moment, she reminded me of Mal's wolf. "It's never felt good to you?"
"Not until an hour ago." I watched her though I was suddenly more aware of my body. My legs were relaxed and my back seemed warm, like someone or something was holding me from behind. A tingling sensation still lingered on my skin where Vanessa's tongue had touched me, as if she'd left some sort of mysterious trail of desire. I hugged the pillow tighter when I noticed just that—desire. Xany waggled her eyebrows at me and grinned.
"Xany!" I shouted and reached out to swat her. "Quit empathing me, would ya!"
"But Nee, you're so cute and innocent." She giggled and grabbed my hand so that I couldn't hit her again. "Don't be shy. Your girl got to love you back. I bet she's happy. Finally."
"She was. I felt it." I found myself holding Xany's hand. Part of me was afraid of all these new feelings. In this moment, Xany was the only sturdy thing I had to hold on to. "I felt her differently. Not in the same way that I do Mal but it was strong. Like...we were together for a second. I can't explain it." I shook my head.
"You were together, Nee. Mate bond or no mate bond, you shared something special and you'll continue to do so." She rubbed the back of my hand, tracing her thumb over my knuckles. I took a deep breath.
"You're a good friend, Xany. I'm sorry if I come off harsh sometimes."
"Only sometimes." She grinned. "So was it in the shower? I bet it was. You weren't in here when I came back from the lake."
"Xee!" I grumbled. "Yes, in the shower—wait, didn't you say Mal said to ask me something?"
"Oh, yeah. He and Caden are still patrolling but he said to ask you if you wanted to go to lunch with him in town after he got back," she said.
"Oh. Yeah, I would. How come he didn't call me?"
"He's far out in wolf form. No phone. He can only mind talk me from that far. I can't answer him back though." She shrugged.
"He can telepath just you from really far? Not Caden or the rest of us?" Even though I found great s
olace and safety in Mal's gift, I had never bothered to find out more about it. It takes a strong mind to telepath. It's not a very common gift. Sort of like mine.
"Our dad said it was because he used it on me the most as kids. It made a strong connection or something. When we were little, he used to yell at me in my head all the time and I couldn't even yell back until his gift advanced." She huffed. "So now he just tells me bossy things to tell you like I'm a pigeon."
"You're not a pigeon. I appreciate the message though. Does it affect the pack talk thing that Caden does?" I asked.
"Nah. Caden's shouting is like a broadcast. We can't really answer him back, he can just feel our response. I think Mal's been trying to teach him to open up his head enough to telepath, but Caden doesn't like stuff that's too magical." She shrugged.
"Don't tell Vanessa anything about magic. She gets all crazed about it. It's a cat thing, my mom used to say."
"A cat thing how?" Xany brushed a bit of hair off of my shoulder.
"I'm not sure. Mom used to say 'kittens lead to mischief and witches.'" I smiled at the memory. My mom had the funniest way of passing warnings.
"Well that sounds dire." Xany giggled. "Are you gonna tell Mal about your sexy shower?"
"Eventually." And the fire returned to my face. How was I going to do that? Hey Mal, guess what? Vanessa and I had sex in the shower and I really liked it. Sorry I keep freaking out when I'm with you.
"I bet he'll like to hear all about it." Xany's grin was endless as she bounced up and down on the bed.
"I bet you would like to hear all about it, too." I laughed. Somehow she always got me to laughing.
"Mhmm. Yep. I want to hear it all."
"Oh, you mean like everything I hear with you and Caden a hundred times a day? You're not quiet you know," I said.
Xany erupted into laughter. "You said I was the mouth of the south and it's true!"
"Holy Gaia, you're a handful. And the names you come up with, sheesh. These walls are very thin, mind you," I kept on teasing her. "'Oh, Caden, right there don't stop.'" I rolled my eyes in dramatic fashion.
Xany squealed in delight and tackled me onto the bed, her face beet red with hysterics. "I knew you had a sense of humor, NeeNee!"
"Yes and it's very delicate, gah!" I shoved her off of me and she rolled to the side. The two of us lay there laughing and staring up at the ceiling. Tears trickled down my cheeks. I didn't know much about real friends, but I imagined that if there were such a thing, Xany was not only a real friend but a best friend in a way. She didn't judge me when I told her things and she almost always made me feel better. I was grateful to her for helping me sort out my feelings. Maybe someday I'd tell her.
***
Mal arrived back at the cabin late in the afternoon to pick me up. We drove into town together in Caden's truck. It wasn't as hot as it had been over the past few days and the dry summer breeze was a refreshing break from the humidity. Mal and I didn't talk much during the drive, which wasn't uncommon. We often spent time together in silence. After all, our silence wasn't very silent. To me it was as if we were reconnecting, communing with each other on a spiritual level. I didn't like talking about things like that though. I'd seen one too many spiritual people get accused of craziness for saying something similar. But how could I deny it when I felt it so strongly? After being with Vanessa, I could only imagine what it would be like to actually be with Mal. If our bonds were strong now, how much more could they magnify? A shiver ran through me at the thought.
We had lunch at the café across the street from Imogene's shop. I really enjoyed our private talks while sharing a meal. He ordered the biggest cheeseburger I think I have ever seen, and I had chicken fingers with extra fries. After lunch, we held hands as we walked down the street, window shopping at some of the stores.
"Are things going any better with Vanessa?" he asked, lacing his fingers with mine. There it was, the question I'd been dreading.
"I...it's better," I muttered as heat flooded my cheeks. He peeked at me through the corner of his eye then grinned. "You know, don't you?"
"Mate bond, remember?" His voice perked a pitch and he chuckled. I thought I might die right there. He wrapped his arm around me and squashed my embarrassment with a hug.
"Oh jeez..." I groaned.
"Hey, I don't get the details. All I could tell was that you were very pleased. I just assumed the rest." His lips brushed over my forehead.
"Even though you were far off and in wolf form?" I looked up at him.
"The more primal the feeling, the more the wolf likes it. I probably wouldn't have sensed it if I were in this form. But you were okay with everything? You're more tentative with Vanessa than you are with me." He tucked my hair behind my ears, thumbs tracing along my jaw line.
"I know. You and I are still kind of...dating, in a way. It's less pressure. And you're a man. I'm familiar with that, sort of." I nodded. "It was fine. She...surprised me."
"So that's the secret huh, surprise?" He quirked a brow at me now that I stood in front of him, my fingers idly playing with his shirt buttons. My cheeks were going to burst from the flames he kept burning.
"Maybe," I said. Surprise was one thing—what she'd done was another. I think it was that... I shuddered at the memory of her mouth on me and my fingers dug into his shirt. His eyes searched my expression and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips like he knew something that I didn't.
"I think it's more about you worrying that you'll let her down or hurt her than anything having to do with pressure," he said.
"Stop being right so much." I smirked at him. He was right. I was afraid of letting Vanessa down and not giving her what she wanted or needed. Though this morning, none of those thoughts crossed my mind.
Mal kissed me then took my hand as we entered Imogene's shop. He held the door for me as we stepped inside. Gene was sitting behind the counter reading a book. There was soft flute music playing, and the scent of sage filled the store. Her smile was endless when she greeted us.
"Welcome, Mal, Doctor Shawnee," she said and set her book down beside the bassinette where her youngest child was asleep.
"Hi Gene, you can just call me Shawnee," I said.
"All right then, Shawnee." She grinned then shook Mal's hand as he reached across the counter. "I have those hides for you in the back."
"Excellent, I'll grab them," he said and let go of my hand. "I'll be right back, love."
I nodded to him. Gene grinned at him then looked at me with a risen brow. I couldn't keep the smile from my lips. "It's quiet here today," I said as I began looking over some of the items she had on display in my very poor attempt to avoid her knowing smile. Mal always called me love in either English or Cherokee when we were in private. It felt natural and normal. But out in the open, it made me blush.
"The kids are shopping with Hank again. He took all eight of them," she said and shook her head.
"A brave soul." I laughed. I couldn't imagine parenting eight kids, let alone shopping with them.
"A numbskull if you ask me. He'll be there all day." Gene shook her head then reached into the bassinette to rub the baby's back when she fussed.
"He's a stubborn old wolf, I imagine," I said as I checked out some of the headbands on the countertop. The beadwork was intricate and I caressed it with care. It reminded me of the clothes I had in my trunk at home. I hadn't looked at them in years. Gene allowed me to browse while Mal brought the treated skins to the truck. He returned after a few minutes and joined me just as I moved to a display area that had jewelry and some handmade leather dolls. The dolls were stuffed with feathers and wore little leather dresses or pants. Tiny beaded necklaces adorned the necks of the female dolls and beaded headbands were on the males. None of them had faces or hair. I picked up one of the female dolls and showed it to Mal.
"I've never seen those before," he said. "Are they new?" He glanced over to Gene.
She nodded when she saw what we were looking at and joined us. S
he picked up one of the male dolls and turned it over in her hand. "They're new. Ann makes them. She made one for my daughter for her crib and I said she should sell them in the shop. They're one of the most popular items we carry now," she said.
"I had one when I was little. It was similar but had beadwork on the dress," I said. I flipped the doll over to look at the tag and sure enough, it was signed with an ink sketch of tied up feathers, and the tribe was listed as Cherokee. There was no census number.
"It must be something specific to the Cherokee," Gene said and tapped the tag.
"It could be." I caressed the little doll before setting it back down. I wondered if I still had my doll in the trunk.
"Does Ann work mainly in leather?" Mal asked as he viewed the braided leather bracelets.
"She does a lot of leather and feathers. She made that war bonnet there too," she said, and pointed to the hanging headdress. It was long enough to cascade down the back of whoever wore it.
"That's incredible," Mal said as he inspected the piece. My attention remained on the dolls.
"Get one, Nee, if you like it that much," he said when he returned to my side.
"It's silly for me to buy a doll for myself." I shook my head.
"So what? Caden has a knife collection, one of which has a ninja turtle on it. He still bought it." He grinned. I looked to Gene to see what she thought.
"My theory is, if you see something and feel connected to it, you should have it." She shrugged. "That's just how Gaia works. Connections happen for a reason."
"Said the Wise Woman of the West." Mal grinned at Gene who merely chuckled.
"I'm no wise woman." She gave his arm a pat.
"All right, I'll get it," I said and chose one of the female dolls. Mal picked up one of the bracelets and nodded to Gene.
"And this for me," he said. "And don't go saying it's on the house."
"All right, all right, you got me." Gene laughed and walked us over to the register. Mal swatted my hand when I went to pay for my doll.
Birthrite (Legacy Series Book 2) Page 11
