Will

by Maria Boyd

  Darling, you have gone through one of the toughest things you will ever have to face in your life, and at such a horribly young age. It breaks my heart to watch you struggle to make sense out of something that has destroyed your world. I worried for a time that you were going to disappear. But you haven’t, Will, because you’re stronger than that. Because, like your father, you refuse to give up or to accept that everything is serious all the time. Because you have surrounded yourself with people like Chris, Mr. Andrews and Brother Patrick, who all care about you. Because you are who you are. Your dad was a good man, Will, but he was made a better man because you were his son. And no matter what you do, he will always, always love you.

  She was crying by this stage—not big heavy tears, just gentle ones. I was too. I’d never cried with Mum about Dad. And maybe I wouldn’t again, but I needed to let her know that it was all right and I was all right. I tried one of the Holden bear hugs. It felt a little uncomfortable but it worked.

  She eased herself out of the hug, glassy-eyed but not crying anymore.

  And I am so proud of everything you have achieved in the musical, Will, and I don’t care how much you pretend you haven’t done anything. I know for a fact because so many people told me last night. Mr. Cohen came and introduced himself and told me about young Zach. Brother Patrick went on about all of your support with the band. Mr. Andrews says you’ve improved out of sight in English.

  That stumped me. Maybe there was a chance of getting an extension for the English assignment.

  And Elizabeth, she’s lovely, Will. I am very happy for you.

  The mention of Elizabeth’s name was a sign to get everything back to normal again. There was only so much heavy emotional stuff a guy could handle and I reckon I’d had enough in the past twenty-four hours for at least another decade.

  Mum was about to put her glasses back on when she stopped and looked at me.

  Will, one more thing. She paused. Talk to him.

  I thought she must be referring to the Freak. Yeah, no I am, that’s why I need you to drop me to school early.

  She continued looking at me.

  No, Will, your father, talk to your father.

  I didn’t know what to say to that. I just stared at her.

  She smiled at me. You haven’t looked at me like that since you found out there was no Santa Claus. I mean it, Will, talk to him. They never leave you if you keep them alive in your heart.

  She put her glasses on and went back to her paper, leaving me standing like that seven-year-old kid. Just like the Santa Claus thing, I wasn’t ready to hear it.

  Zachariah Cohen

  Mum dropped me at the gates. It felt like a lifetime ago since I’d winked at the brothers’ main man that Friday afternoon. Lucky the musical was nearly over, otherwise they’d be carting me off for intensive therapy.

  I could see the Freak waiting out the front. He’d taken out his trombone and was making sure it was tuned. Anyone else would have cracked up about the fart noises, but the Freak just kept on with the job. I called out to him.

  Hey, Zach.

  Hey, Will.

  It was then I realized that the fart noises were not just coming from his direction. There were three others, just like the Freak, all tuning their instruments, listening to him like he was some sort of guru. They stopped playing instantly as I approached and stared.

  Zach, do you reckon I could talk to you for a minute?

  Zach didn’t seem that angry. In fact he didn’t seem that much of anything.

  Sure.

  He stood up and walked over to where I was standing. He was waiting for me to speak. I looked at him curiously. Surely he knew why I’d asked him to meet me early?

  I met your dad the other night.

  Yeah, I know.

  He’s a nice bloke.

  He looked at me as if I was really strange.

  Yeah, I know.

  You look just like him.

  Yeah, I know.

  Zach, I’m sorry, I’m sorry about the other day.

  He looked at me dead on. Yeah, I know.

  I was freaking out. I didn’t mean anything I said. I was angry and you were the one who copped it.

  Yeah, I know.

  How do you know?

  ’Cause Chris came running out after you and asked me what you’d said. He told me you were upset about something else, not me.

  He was quiet, really quiet. Then he looked straight up at me.

  Other people have said that type of stuff to me, and even though it hurt it doesn’t matter because they’re not my friends. But you are, Will. You’re my friend and I trusted you. He paused. You shouldn’t have said those things to me.

  I felt like I did when his dad spoke to me last night. I wished he’d screamed and carried on. But he didn’t, he just told it to me straight and that’s what cut me up the most.

  I know, Zach. I’m really, really sorry.

  He looked at me again with his ancient eyes for a long time.

  Yeah, I know. And you know what else, Will? It wasn’t me who said anything about Mark.

  It was my turn.

  Yeah, I know.

  I wouldn’t do that to Mark.

  Yeah, I know … Listen, Freak, the dad stuff’s no excuse, I know. But things have been really weird lately. I never set out to hurt you, mate, never. I know that sounds like such a bad excuse, but it just happened. And you wore all of the fallout.

  It’s all right, Will. I know what it’s like.

  His eyes had darkened and become sad.

  There was this one time when I went psycho in Year Four. It was straight after Mum left. I remember throwing chairs around and yelling and screaming. It was so bad they had to ring Dad to get me to stop. When he arrived, he came and talked to me. He said I was angry at the world for taking my mum away. I figured you were angry at the world for taking your dad away.

  I was speechless. No one this little was meant to be that smart.

  You threw chairs around the classroom?

  Yeah, pretty cool, huh? The kids’ve thought I was mad ever since.

  He gave me his first smile of the day and patted me on the arm.

  It’s all right, Will. I know you’re sorry.

  I grabbed his hand and spun it behind his back and then grabbed him from the back and lifted him up.

  Thanks, Freak. Nice to have you back.

  I tousled his hair like my dad used to do to me when I was Zach’s age. Then I looked back over to where the geeks were trying really hard to look like they hadn’t been listening to our entire conversation.

  So who are your mates?

  Just some of the geeks from the band. They’re all right. No big deal. He walked over toward the geeks and his trombone. But they did tell me you and Elizabeth kissed last night.

  Great! It had even made it to the Year 7 geek section of the St. Andrew’s news network.

  The final performance

  I walked into the hall and started getting everything set up. The Freak told me he’d give me a hand after he’d finished having a jam with his mates. I had to shut my mouth before I made a smart-arse comment. As I walked toward the pit I caught myself feeling proud of the little guy.

  By the time I’d finished the setup, the hall had begun to fill with the whole crew for the last time.

  Good evening, handsome!

  Elizabeth was walking through the stage hall doors. Her hair was out and reached halfway down her back. She was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt like she always was, but this time when I looked at her it was different. I don’t know if I was different, she was different or we were both different, but it didn’t matter because it was good different.

  She had her costumes thrown over her shoulder and was carrying at least three other bags. I walked over to meet her, grinning and not caring that the entire hall had stopped to watch the show. I grabbed the gear like some bloody knight in not-so-shining armor. She leaned across and brushed my lips with hers. The whole hall erupted. Back to
reality. I didn’t know whether to laugh or to tell everyone to find their own love life to feed off. As for Elizabeth, she just laughed up at me, not bothered by any of it.

  Yeah, all right, settle down! I managed as we continued on our path to the change rooms.

  She stood in the doorway and I handed her the gear. She looked straight into my eyes like she had last night.

  Thanks for last night, Will, I had a great time.

  I was thankful the others had not overheard. Their perverse little minds would have become too excited.

  No, yeah, it was good.

  How could I have spent all last night talking to the girl and still not manage a decent sentence today?

  So are you coming to Mark’s after-show party?

  I continued to struggle.

  The thing is, I’m not sure if I’ll be wanted at Mark’s party.

  She took the rest of her stuff, turned me around and gave me a shove on the bum with the only thing that was free, her foot.

  Go and talk to him, Will.

  I knew I had to. I didn’t want to stuff up the after-show vibe for him like I had last night. Anyway, this time I figured if he didn’t accept my apology there wasn’t much more I could do.

  I knocked outside the blokes’ dressing room and watched the younger chorus guys run out. I walked straight in and found Mark in the corner, putting on what looked like a really bad, really bright 1920s jacket.

  Hi, Mark.

  He looked up and nodded.

  Well, at least he didn’t tell me to get out.

  Nice jacket.

  He continued to look at me without comment. OK, so a joke was not a good way to start.

  Mark, I know you’re pissed off with me and you should be. And I know everything you said last night was true. Just give me a chance to say some stuff to you, OK?

  He sat down in front of the mirror and swiveled the chair toward me.

  You were right yesterday. You were right. I was worried about what other people would think. And it was a stuffed thing to do to you. I don’t think you’re a freak. I’m the one who’s been acting like a basket case.

  I looked up over him.

  And I know if I say it won’t happen again, you’ll think that’s what I said last time. So I guess I’m just going to have to prove it to you.

  Mark continued to sit and say nothing.

  But I want you to know that I really am genuinely sorry.

  The room filled with the sound of him swiveling on his seat. It was a good three minutes before he spoke.

  I was still really pissed off yesterday, Will, but you deserved it. And I appreciate you backing up today. But I still mean what I said: I’ve learned the hard way that it’s all got to be about trust, otherwise it doesn’t count.

  We both waited in silence. Mark stood up from the chair and I thought for a moment he was going to leave, but instead he extended his hand.

  Thanks for apologizing, Will.

  I reached out and shook his hand a little uncertainly.

  So you like the jacket then? I’m wearing it to the party.

  He was dead serious. I looked at the jacket again; he had to be winding me up, but I wasn’t taking the risk.

  Yeah, I said cautiously, it’s great.

  Joke, Will. It was a joke!

  He was grinning at me. You are coming then?

  Yeah, yeah, of course.

  You and Elizabeth can get a lift with me after the show if you like. That is, if you two don’t want to go alone.

  You’ve heard then?

  Who hasn’t? The chorus girls have been carrying on all afternoon.

  He looked over and grinned again.

  About bloody time if you ask me. It’s taken you practically the whole term to pull your finger out.

  This time I returned the grin.

  You’re just jealous, mate.

  I felt like Chris must have when he made the Dad joke the other night. I didn’t know if I was about to crash and burn. But he grabbed his boater hat and sliced it through the air at me.

  You wish, buddy, you wish!

  I caught it and threw it back to him. Things were instantly easier.

  Look, I’d better get going, the geeks are getting restless. Are you nervous? Last night and all that?

  Yeah, I am a bit. I’ve got some mates up from Melbourne.

  It was nearly out of my mouth to ask if it was anyone he wanted to impress, but I thought that might have been pushing it. I said goodbye and headed over for my last time with Brother Pat and the geeks in the pit.

  Good evening, Brother. Are you ready for yet another fine performance this evening?

  You sound remarkably chipper, Will. It wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain Elizabeth Zefferelli, would it?

  I looked at him incredulously.

  Not too old to notice, young man. Very good. Very good indeed. Nice girl. Now let’s get this show under way.

  After the show

  Willo! Loved the show, man!

  I looked up from among the band gear. It was the boys, led by a widely grinning Chris.

  Yeah, that’s because you couldn’t take your eyes off the cancan dancers.

  Nah, that’s not true. I spent a lot of time looking at Polly. But some loser cut my grass. I’ll never forgive you, Willo.

  I gave Jock the finger and said hello to Chris and Tim.

  Nice gangsta outfit! Show us your moves, homeboy!

  Jock came over to my left side.

  No, seriously, man, she’s cute. So do you reckon you can introduce the one who played her friend? You owe me!

  I pushed him aside and continued moving music stands for the last time. Something I was definitely not going to miss.

  Did you have to bring them? I said to Chris.

  I pointed over to where Tim and Jock had taken some of the geeks’ instruments and were trying to play them, which wasn’t working, in an attempt to wind up the geeks, which was working.

  I couldn’t stop them. They wanted to make sure you knew who to set them up with.

  Chris looked over to where the Freak was giving them a very thorough talking-to.

  If you’re not careful, the little man over there is going to become a William Armstrong clone.

  Jock and Tim were giving up the instruments and telling the Freak to settle down. He was doing an all right job of it too. I thought I’d give him some backup.

  Hey, be careful with those, you idiots! I shouted.

  But it looked like Zach didn’t need any assistance, he just looked over and waved.

  So you two are mates again?

  Yeah. It was like he understood what was going on before I did. I mean, look at me last night about Dad, and I’m seventeen—imagine what you’d feel like if your mum walked out on you when you were nine. Nah, he’s a really cool kid, in a geeky kind of way.

  The Freak made his way over and shook Chris’s hand.

  Are you coming tonight, Chris?

  Sure am.

  I’ll see you there then. I can’t talk. I’ve got to organize these guys to get the gear down to the band room, otherwise Brother Patrick and Ms. Sefton will freak.

  Sure, Zach, I’ll catch you then.

  Quite the confident socializer, your Zach. You have taught him well, Yoda.

  I hit him with a drumstick.

  All right, all right. So are you going to Mark’s tonight or are things still strange?

  I spoke to him before the show. I think he’s OK. You could tell he was keeping himself distant, but we had a bit of a laugh. He said he had mates coming from Melbourne. You’d want to make sure that the boys are told to pull their heads in.

  Chris was smiling at me.

  What?

  I’m sorry, am I hearing William Armstrong speaking to me about being responsible? Man, this is great!

  You know what I mean, after the tuckshop incident and all.

  Yeah, Will, I’m the one who gets it. The boys’ll be fine. They’re just up for a good party where they
can check out the ladies.

  I looked around and saw we had at least an hour’s packing-up to get through.

  Chris, do you reckon you and those two idiots could give us a hand?

  Chris was shaking his head as he started with the instruments. Jock had obviously overheard and he came up and slapped me on the shoulder.

  It’ll cost you, Willo.

  I wouldn’t expect anything different, Jock. All right, I’ll introduce you. But you’ve got to act halfway human.

  Come on, it’s me you’re talking to!

  At which point Tim called over to him and pretended to play the trombone by farting at the same time. Jock couldn’t speak for five minutes he thought it was so funny.

  Forget it!

  The Newmans and the Zefferellis

  There were after-show drinks again—and rumors of a small party hosted by Brother Pat. I reckon that’s one of the main reasons he gets involved, for the drinks afterward. I headed over to the library, feeling pretty happy with myself. Things had sorted themselves out and I was about to see Elizabeth again. I found Mum talking to Danielli and Brother Patrick. I hoped it was another one of those sessions she’d told me about this afternoon. Mr. Cohen was there with an older couple in suits. They’d have to be Mark’s parents.

  Here he is! The man of the moment! Did you get all of the instruments away?

  Brother Patrick boomed this at me even though I was right in front of him. Obviously the sherry had been flowing already.

  Everything’s good, Brother. All the little guys did their bit.

  That’s all down to your good guidance, Will.

  Mum beamed.

  Well now, no room for false modesty here. We all know you were a right troublemaker before, so we may as well give praise where it is due.

  Danielli moved himself beside me.

  Brother Patrick has been telling us about what an excellent job you have done. Well done, Will, well done!

  I saw Andrews looking over in our direction. He excused himself from a bunch of very happy parents and headed over. I watched him, wondering what he was up to.

  Truce?

  Here we go.

  What, sir?

  Come on, Will, I haven’t exactly been your favorite person lately.