Madman

by Ws Greer

  “I don’t expect you to say it back,” she continues as she stands up and approaches me. “I know you’ve been through more than I could imagine. Your life has been beyond difficult, and I know things like love are hard to understand and deal with when your mother has tainted the word the way yours has. You don’t have to say it, because I know you love me too. You wouldn’t even be here if you didn’t. So I don’t need to hear it because I already know it, and that’s enough for me.”

  Reina smiles at me as she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls my body into hers. Our mouths connect and both of us are filled with a passionate heat that overtakes our bodies. We kiss like it’s our last day on earth together as we inch our way over and fall onto her bed. Our hands roam each other’s bodies as our clothes start to come off like they have a mind of their own, and before either of us knows it, it’s happening.

  It isn’t my first time, but it’s the only time that has mattered. As Reina and I enjoy the feel of each other, I know that from this moment on, we’ll be together. We’ll take everything we want from this world, and soon, everyone will know the two of us. They’ll know us as the couple of the century! We’ll be king and queen, because even though I didn’t say it out loud, I know it’s true just like she does. I do love Reina. It may be my own twisted, crazy version of love, but it is love. We’re partners in crime—king and queen of the underworld. Long may we reign.

  “I COULD STAY like this forever.”

  “Mmm,” I reply. “Words like that are usually off limits—out of bounds. But when they’re coming from you, babe, they’re music to my ears.”

  I never knew anyone could ever feel like this. I’ve always been just a confused kid from Strawberry Mansion with enough ambition to harness and build a bomb from it, but what I feel as I lay next to Reina, rubbing her smooth, pale, bare skin is something out of this world. I don’t believe in heaven, but if I did, this is what it would consist of for me.

  The two of us lay in my room with the lights out and the TV on in front of us. After having finished another round of sex, I’m exhausted and satisfied. The second I saw Reina get off the train earlier, I won’t lie, the first thing I thought of was bringing her back here and repeating what we did last week at her house. The first time was something brand new for her, and I wanted to take my time. Gentle is not a word that usually fits with me, but I’d play the part for Reina, and I have. This second time was still slow and gentle, but I could tell she was starting to enjoy it this time, and it made all the difference in the world. We enjoy each other, and it’s the best feeling ever, but I know it’s coming to an end when I see Reina lift up her arm and glance at her watch.

  “Don’t do that,” I tell her, knowing the end of our day together is drawing near.

  “I’m sorry, my love. I have to.”

  “You can’t wait another few minutes? I’m really loving how your skin feels against mine.”

  Her smile is wide and lights up the dark room and my dark heart.

  “I love it too, but my train leaves in fifteen minutes. It’ll take ten just to get there if we walk.”

  “You know, I could just take you back to Center City myself.”

  “Solomon, you know we can’t risk that. The last thing I need is to be seen being dropped off, and all of my nosy ass neighbors would love to tell Betsy all about the boy with the tattoos driving the car. The reaction would be like an atomic bomb going off, and I don’t need that in my life, especially after how great our time together has been tonight. I want to go home, relax, and think about you.”

  I fight back a smile as she gets up and starts to put on her clothes, while I lay behind her and watch the soft material of her panties rise above her flawless butt as she pulls them on. All too soon, Reina is dressed and I have to follow suit, so I hop up and don some baggy sweats to wear while I walk her to the train station.

  We could take Whitney’s car, but Reina and I have grown fond of enjoying the walk through the rundown neighborhood together. We feel like the king and queen of Strawberry Mansion as we hold hands and talk about everything and nothing at the same time. I swear, there’s moments when I feel like I could walk with her forever on a road to nowhere.

  “This is the part I always hate,” she says as she turns to face me, her blue eyes locking onto mine and tearing down all of my boundaries.

  “Me too,” I reply, just before she gets up on her toes and kisses me.

  I hate dragging this out. I’d much rather get it over with so we can get to the part where I look forward to watching her get off the train to greet me again, so I cut the goodbye short as usual by pulling away and letting her go.

  “Text me when you get there,” I tell her, like always.

  “Of course,” she replies, like I knew she would. She smiles one last time before boarding the train, and I wait there for her to find her seat. Once seated, Reina turns to me and smiles before mouthing the words I love you, just as the train hisses and starts to slowly pull out of the station.

  “How about this one?”

  “No, no. Too fancy, Nix,” I reply with a wave of my hand. “I’m not into the gaudy stuff, and the last thing I need is to be walking the streets of Strawberry Mansion in something covered in diamonds like that. It’s nice, but I’m good. Moving on.”

  Nix puts the long, diamond encrusted necklace back in its place, and the man behind the counter, wearing his fancy black suit, takes the jewelry and places it back in the glass case to be displayed once again. Nix turns around to me, zips up his gray jacket, smooths out his thick beard with his hand and follows me out of the jewelry store. Neither of us purchased anything, but it felt good just to be able to shop in a place that sells jewelry that expensive, while actually being realistic about buying something. Oh how we have come up in the world!

  Nix and I, walking side by side, saunter through the halls of King of Prussia Mall. It’s a fancy little number a little ways away from Strawberry Mansion, and it has become the place where Nix and I come to do our shopping. With as much money as we’ve gained access to, I feel less concerned about the stares when we shop here. Less concern over being robbed. My newest pair or black Timberlands squeak on the white tile floor as we walk and turn into a clothing store I might like. As we enter, I pull out my phone and text Reina. It’s been a while since she left earlier today, and usually I hear from her after her train ride back to Center City.

  Me: Hey, haven’t heard from you. You good? You make it back okay? Let me know.

  After pressing send, I shove the phone back into my dark blue denim jeans and follow Nix as he picks up a red sweater that’s similar to the one I’m wearing, and looks it over. The brunette cashier behind the counter sees us come in, and she locks her eyes onto mine for a second before leaving her post and striding over to us.

  “Good evening, gentlemen,” she says, although she’s only speaking to me. She bats her dark brown eyes at me and flashes a smile partnered with one raised eyebrow. I can’t help but notice how low-cut her white shirt is, exposing her perfectly round tits just enough to make any man wonder how she looks naked. She’s a beautiful woman, no doubt. Under normal circumstances, I’d be trying to take her to the back to give her what she so obviously craves, but Reina isn’t a normal circumstance.

  “Is there something I can help you with?” the woman says, her voice dropping in an attempt to sound sexier. I won’t lie, it is sexy. It’s just not Reina.

  “Nah, we’re good. Thanks,” I reply quickly, breaking eye contact with her and focusing on the shirt Nix is still holding.

  I hear the woman exhale loudly before speaking again. “Oh. Well, okay. Let me know if you see anything you like.”

  I dismiss her without even giving her a second glance.

  “Damn, Solomon,” Nix chimes in as he picks up another shirt—a black one this time—and looks it over. “She was hot, man. Not sure I’ve ever seen you dismiss a girl so quick. Especially one who looks like her.”

  “First time for eve
rything, I guess,” I reply, picking up my own shirt and inspecting it.

  “I assume you and Reina are still going strong, then?” Nix counters.

  “Of course we are.” His question and my answer remind me of the text that I just sent to Reina. I pull out my phone and check to see if she has responded, and I’m disappointed and annoyed when I see that she hasn’t.

  “You good?” Nix says, sensing my frustration.

  “Yeah. She just hasn’t responded to me since she left a little while ago.”

  “Since you dropped her off at the train station earlier today?”

  “Right. She always texts that she made it home okay. She didn’t do that today. If anyone does anything to her, I swear I’ll kill them.”

  “I’m sure she’s fine, Solomon.

  “Yeah. I’m sure she is. Let’s wrap this up so I can get home. You know I can’t buy too much at once. It just makes it harder to hide from Whitney.”

  “Yeah, I know. Okay, let’s just get what we’ve already chosen and head out,” Nix says as he holds onto both shirts, and takes the royal blue one I chose for myself. We weave through the racks of clothing and people to pay for our merchandise, completely ignoring the cashier as she checks us out, both literally and figuratively.

  On the drive home in Nix’s mom’s car, I’m quiet. Sensing my mood, so is Nix. It’s not that I don’t trust Reina, it’s that I don’t trust people. I don’t trust that someone on the train that runs from Center City to Strawberry Mansion and back won’t try to do something to someone who is as beautiful as Reina Wilde. She’s unlike anything I had ever seen when I first laid eyes on her, so the thought of something happening to her sends a chill up my spine. It’s the first time she’s never texted that she made it since I got a cell phone specifically to talk to her. Since that day, she has texted me and told me she made it back to the uppity Center City, where the streets are basically paved in gold and the world is always safe and secure. When she’s with me, I don’t worry for her safety, because . . . well, duh. Once she’s back at home in her controlling parents’ house, I hate that she has to deal with her snake of a mother, but I’m not worried for her safety. It’s the stuff in between that bothers me. It’s that train ride with all those people I’ve never seen before. People who are not to be trusted in any way.

  Me: I’m sure you’re just busy dealing with your mom. Phone is probably off. I get that. But I need you to text me as soon as you can though. I’m headed home right now. Hopefully I’ll hear from you once I’m there.

  Street lights pass us on both sides of the car, but it doesn’t do anything to lighten up my mood. Nix sits next to me with his burly hand on the steering wheel and his eyes on the road. Nineties hip-hop blares through the speakers of the old Cadillac, and the night sky is freckled with stars, some dull, some as bright as ever. I have more money in my pocket in this exact moment than I ever have in my entire life, but all I can think about is how Reina hasn’t texted me back. Even as I notice Nix turn the car into the familiar run down residential area that we live in and I see my mother’s car in its usual parking spot under the tree with no leaves, it barely registers with me.

  “Hit me up tomorrow?” Nix asks, finally speaking.

  “Sure,” I reply, not even looking at him.

  “If you want me to go down to Center City and make sure she’s good, just say the word.”

  I look over at Nix, thankful I have him as a partner in crime.

  “No,” I answer with a quick shake of my head. “I’ll get with you tomorrow.”

  “Alright.”

  I climb out of the car and close the door behind me, before making my way through the chain-link fence and up the stairs. To my surprise, I hear the sound of our TV blaring through the door. When I step inside, I’m shocked to see Whitney out of her room. She’s sitting on the couch with both feet tucked under her body, wearing pink short shorts and a plain white t-shirt. Her brown hair is all over the place—I’m honestly not sure if she even still owns a brush—and I can see red in her eyes that isn’t usually there. She hasn’t had much sleep, which can only mean one thing. Couple the redness in her eyes with the obvious spot on her left arm where she has started scratching, and the answer is obvious—Whitney has run out of her medicine recently, and is starting to fiend for more. My junkie mother scratching her skin apart on our tan couch surrounded by the trash she’s been sifting through to no avail just never gets old. If I ever thought for one second that my life was somehow made better by the money I’ve taken, the picture in front of me is the perfect reminder that I’m still in hell. As long as I’m in this house, I’m in hell.

  “What you got there?” Whitney says as I step inside and close the door behind me. I follow her gaze to the white bag in my right hand and kick myself for being too distracted by thoughts of Reina to remember to never come through the front door with anything new. Stupid!

  “It’s nothing,” I reply, but it’s too late. I can see it in Whitney’s bloodshot blue eyes that she’s suspicious.

  “You get a job I don’t know about?” she says, her eyes bouncing back and forth between the shopping bag and the bright orange ink crawling up my forearm. “You got some money?”

  “Of course not, Whitney,” I snip, my heart beginning to race. “Nix bought it for me.”

  “He get a job I don’t know about it?” she fires back as she starts scratching her arm again.

  I can’t panic. Everything has to look as normal as possible, so I do what I’d do if I wasn’t concerned about the money in my room.

  “Don’t worry about what Nix has. It’s none of your business anyway, Whitney,” I bark at her as I start to walk towards the hall leading to the basement. “I see you’re getting the itch again. I expect you’ll be getting a visit from one of your dealers soon. Don’t worry, I won’t come out of my room and you’ll be free to suck all the dick you want to get your precious medicine. Ah, just like when I was a kid. Those were the days, huh?”

  I throw my mother one more angry glance before speeding up my walk towards the basement. As I open the door, I hear her chirping back at me.

  “Don’t disrespect me, Solomon. I’m still your mother. And if Nix got a job, I need you to ask him for some money. He’s a nice kid, I’m sure he’ll give it to you if you just ask nicely. Davon says I have to pay with real money now, and I need my medicine, Solomon! You hear me?”

  I slam the door shut behind and descend the steep stairs in a hurry to get away from her annoying voice.

  “Stupid, Solomon!” I chastise myself as I slam the shopping bag on my bed. “I can’t believe I went through the front door. Stupid!”

  Just in case Whitney gets the urge to follow me down here, I quickly snatch the shirt out of the bag and take it over to one of my two black footlockers I bought for the sole purpose of hiding money and new merchandise from Whitney. Both are tucked away in the darkest corner of the basement and kept secure with combo locks, and I quickly put in the code to open the one with the merchandise in it. Once the lid is open, I see all of the new clothes and jewelry I’ve bought since we first robbed Cash N Check all those months ago, and I throw the newest shirt right on top before slamming the lid closed, re-applying the lock and shoving the foot locker back into the dark corner next to the one filled with most of my money.

  I don’t hear Whitney coming down the stairs, so I finally slow down and walk over to the bed, throwing myself onto it as I pull my phone from my pocket to check for a response from Reina. There isn’t one.

  “What the hell?” I mumble to myself as I open the thread with her name on it and double check for a new message. Again, I come up empty, and it takes my full concentration not to throw the phone across the room. After messing up and walking through the front door with that bag, and then seeing Whitney scratching herself and asking me about money, I really need to talk to Reina. Only she can keep me from losing my mind in this insane asylum I call my home.

  A glance at the clock on the floor next to m
y bed reveals that it’s ten o’clock at night. There’s no way Reina isn’t home by now—unless something happened to her. I try not to let the idea of her running into trouble take over my mind, and I take a deep breath to calm myself. I take off my clothes, tossing them on the floor next to the bed, and climb under my covers with my phone in hand.

  Me: Alright, Reina, I’m going to bed. It isn’t like you to not text back, so I’ll admit you’ve got me worried about you. Me and Nix went to King of Prussia after you left and I bought a shirt. Nothing too fancy, of course, but I did make the mistake of bringing it through the front door when I got home. Whitney was in the room scratching her stupid arm and started asking me about money. She even asked if me or Nix got a job so she could ask for money. She’s so beyond pathetic, I can’t stand it. Dealing with her made me want to talk to you. You have the ability to make me feel better. I know you’ve got your own shit to deal with at home though, so I’m gonna go to bed, and hopefully I’ll have a text from you in the morning.

  Text me, Reina.

  Goodnight.

  Me: Where are you? I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’m here. I’m waiting for you, Reina. I’m at the train station waiting for the 2 o’clock like I always do. Why haven’t I heard from you? Get here. I’m waiting.

  I DON’T KNOW what’s going on, but it’s been two weeks since I’ve seen or heard from Reina. Two weeks! After everything we’ve said to each other. After everything we’ve been through together. What the hell is going on with her that she’s stopped responding to my texts and hasn’t shown up on the train? After six months together, she’s not responding now. I can’t have that. I gave parts of myself to Reina I didn’t even know I had in me. She can’t do this to me now.