All Night (Love #2)

by Kitty Parker

  "You'll go upstairs and take a nap later," Annette says and it's not really a flat-out order but it's really not a mere suggestion either. "And Jack will get to that chapter," she says with a smile, returning to the chicken, knowing exactly what chapter Daisy is talking about. "He may be the best daddy Matty could ever ask for but he's still a new one. He just needs to learn these things."

  Daisy nods, knowing that even though she has to constantly remind herself that Jack being careful isn't some terrible crime. It's actually very sweet – if it wasn't just so darn frustrating for her.

  Annette keeps on smiling. "And the great thing about having a man who absolutely loves you as much as that husband of yours loves you… he can always be persuaded."

  And even though she feels like laughing, Daisy blushes instead because although she's not a virgin – obviously – talking about sex with her mom is still mortifying. She doesn't care how old she is or how many times she's been pregnant.

  After the cornbread is mixed and baking in the oven, Daisy tries to help with other things but Annette puts her hands on her back and gently pushes her from the kitchen, telling her that she's just put fresh sheets on her old bed and that image feels too tempting to Daisy to stand strong against.

  Upstairs, in her childhood bedroom, Daisy slips out of her heels and with a contended sigh, she slides onto the bed and with the warm sunshine on her face, she closes her eyes and almost instantly, she feels herself dropping off into sleep.

  She's not sure how long she's asleep but the next thing she knows, she feels a dip on the mattress beside her and even without opening her eyes, she knows who is it.

  His strong, familiar arms wrap around her and she can smell his familiar scent of leather and smoke and earth and with her eyes still closed, she snuggles in closer to him.

  "How's Celtus?" She asks, her voice heavy and groggy.

  "Fine," he answers but he does it too quickly and short and she knows Celtus's not fine.

  "Does he need anything?" She asks and she is finally able to open her eyes, looking at him as he lays stretched out next to her on his side, holding her close to his front.

  "A new brain maybe," Jack says and Daisy keeps looking at him, not saying anything; waiting for him to say more. He exhales a soft breath. "Stupid shit got into a fight. And even with him limpin' and bruised, stupid shit's still smilin' like nothin's wrong."

  Daisy isn't too sure what to say about that. She likes Celtus and Celtus likes her but Jack has much more experience with his brother and knows him far better than she ever will and even if she says something, Jack will just shake his head and not believe her and she knows that he has more than enough reason not to believe her when it concerns his older brother.

  Jack exhales another breath; as if he's exhaling Celtus from his system and when he looks at her again, his entire demeanor changes. His body is visibly more relaxed and his eyes are warmer now, too.

  "How you feelin'?" He asks and she knows his brother's completely from his mind now – for the time being.

  "Mom knows. She guessed just like Aaron did," Daisy tells him.

  He doesn't look surprised. He just smirks a little. "Would explain the hug she gave me downstairs that almost made me black out."

  Daisy giggles at that and she snuggles in closer to him and his arms tighten around her. They lay there for a few minutes. Or maybe even an hour. She doesn't know and she doesn't even really care. She knows nothing in life is ever perfect but there are always moments like this. Quiet moments that don't seem like much but in actuality, are everything. Moments that make life seem absolutely perfect.

  Her legs are bare, her dress having hitched up around her knees as she slept, and she feels the soft material of the pants he wears – black dress pants he wears to church – and the softness of the bed's comforter. She feels Jack's thumb on her shoulder – the bare patch of skin from where her cardigan sweater has slipped a little – brushing back and forth. She can hear Otter barking outside at something and then a moment later, Matty calling out to him to leave the cows alone.

  "I've been thinking of names," she then says quietly, wanting to keep the moment quiet.

  His thumb doesn't stop it's slow and gentle sweeping. "Thought you said we shouldn' think of names 'til at least the fifth month."

  Daisy shrugs in response to that. "Do you mind?" She tilts her head up a little so she can look at him, his face already turned downwards towards hers.

  "Why'd I mind that? What do you got?" He asks, making her smile.

  "Mark or John if it's a boy," she says even though he already knows that and he nods now, reminding her of that.

  When she was younger, when she had Matty, she had in her mind that if she had four sons, she'd name the Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. She doesn't know if she and Jack will have four children – let alone four sons – but she wants to keep going along with this particular plan of hers.

  And Jack doesn't seem to mind it.

  "And if it's a girl, what do you think of Ophelia?" She asks.

  He makes a face and she can't be sure whether it's one of distaste or not. "Ophelia?" He echoes, trying it out on his own tongue, that look still across his face and it makes her laugh a little.

  "She was a character in Hamlet, a Shakespeare play," she tells him.

  "I know what Hamlet is and I know Ophelia went and drowned herself in the river," he says with a furrowed brow. "You wanna name our daughter after her?"

  "I've always thought the name was so beautiful," Daisy says as her defense.

  His thumb is still brushing along her shoulder and she almost wishes it wasn't because although she loves when Jack touches her, she loves it even more when he does something besides touch her. She can't help but shift now as if uncomfortable and she supposes that that is exactly what she is. She moves her legs, brushing them along his, and her hands slowly trail lower on his chest.

  Jack watches her with dark eyes.

  "What names do you like if we have a daughter?" She asks in a voice that sounds breathless even to her own ears and it's beginning to ache between her thighs. She wonders if he'll figure it out if she lets out a little whimper right now.

  Jack stares at her and she keeps her eyes locked with his and she thinks maybe… but when her fingers then boldly follow the seam of his pants zipper, he springs up as if she's just stabbed him. He hurries off the bed, his breath heavy, and his body obviously tight with tension.

  "Jack," Daisy frowns at him, sitting up, too.

  But he's already almost out the door. "Dinner's just 'bout done," he says to her from over his shoulder, not stopping.

  "Would you just read the chapter?" She calls out after him and then exhaling a heavy sigh, she flops down on her back and glares up at the ceiling, trying to get herself calmed down again but she's coiled as tight as a mattress spring and doesn't see that happening any time soon.

  …

  Part Five.

  He decides it's time to go back and when he tells mama and dad over dinner, neither of them seem surprised at all. He knows they've been expecting this. He has sat out for three weeks now and he feels plenty rested and even though he's not been playing, he's been going to practices and games and Coach T and his Uncle Shawn and Coach Tyreese, the offensive coach, have been writing and working on new plays with the rest of the team so even when he does come back, he knows it's not resting on just him anymore. And he's missed playing football. So much. There's something about it that makes him think like maybe, playing football is somehow in his blood.

  And because Matty is happy, his mama and dad seem happy, too, about him playing again. The cheers he gets from the parents in the stands on his first game back as he runs onto the field has him smiling for most of the game even as he gets tackled.

  He sees his dad at one of the games. Not Jack. Jack is always there, sitting in the stands with his mama, and he comes to practices sometimes, too, and Jack is his dad in all senses of the word. No. His birth dad comes to one of his games and
he gets so distracted, he almost misses the ball Tavon pitches to him but he catches it and tears down the field and scores his second touchdown that day. He doesn't notice the slaps on his helmet from his teammates or the cheers from the crowd. He stares off to the sideline and there, standing next to the aluminum stands, is his dad. Jimmy. He's too far away to see him clearly but Matty just knows.

  Matty's eyes go straight to his mama in the stands, sitting with dad and Henry's dads, and Grandpa and Grandma, Aunt Maybelle, Uncle Nathaniel and the twins are all with them. Since he's begun playing again, the whole family shows up just as they always have done – coming out to cheer him on and support him. Mama is smiling and laughing at something that Aunt Maybelle is saying to her and she doesn't see his dad there.

  He hasn't seen his dad in so long. Not since that one time he and his dad – his real dad – was at the grocery store and Matty saw him standing at the deli counter with his wife. She had been pregnant and plenty of time had passed by now so Matty just assumes that she has given birth to the baby his dad really wanted. Matty wonders if he has a little brother or sister. Not that he will ever know them. His birth dad wants absolutely nothing to do with him and he definitely doesn't want his first son in his life.

  So, why is he here? He isn't supposed to be here. Matty doesn't want him here.

  The ref blows the whistle and Matty heads off the field for some water and words from Coach T, the man grinning and slapping him on the helmet, telling him how good it is to have him back in a Gators uniform. And Matty wants to smile but he's too distracted now. He can feel his dad's eyes watching him.

  He looks up towards the stands, looking at his parents, hoping they can do something to help him right now but at the same time, he doesn't want them to know. Mama will get upset and dad will get angry and he doesn't want them to be either of those things.

  And when the game's done and they finish walking across the field, shaking the hands of the team they had just beat, Matty takes off his helmet and he instantly looks back to the spot where his dad was standing but it's empty now and he's gone and Matty can't help but look for him and wonder where he's gone even after dad and mama come up to him, telling him that he played so great and they are going to go get some ice cream now with the rest of the family.

  …

  He can't ask his mama this. He knows how upset she gets but she gets angry, too, and Matty doesn't know the whole story – doesn't know any of it actually – but he knows his birth dad didn't just hurt him but he hurt mama, too.

  Every Sunday, after church, dad goes to visit Uncle Celtus and mama and Matty go to the farm to spend the rest of the day with Grandma Annette and Grandpa Johnathan. And mama always goes into the house with Grandma and Matty always goes into the barn with Grandpa or with one of the fields with him. Today, he goes into the barn, Otter trotting after him as always, and he follows Grandpa into one of the horse stalls where one of the mares is expecting a foal in the next few days.

  "Grandpa?" Matty asks, almost hesitantly, not sure if he should be doing this but knowing that he wants to.

  "Hmmmm?" Johnathan says, running his hands over the side of the horse's body, able to feel the baby animal within.

  "What was my dad like when he was younger?" He asks, almost blurting the question out because asking quickly is really the only way he can imagine getting the question out. He knows he has been wanting to ask it but now that he actually has, he's not really sure why he has or why he wants to know anything about that man.

  Johnathan has grown still, his hands still on the side of the horse, and it looks as if maybe, the older man isn't even breathing. But then, slowly, he turns and looks at Matty and Matty keeps looking at his grandpa, making sure that the man knows that he's serious. He wants to know. He doesn't know anything except for a few random memories he has of the guy, coming to pick him up from his and mama's apartment and Matty never wanting to go with him; of the guy who didn't know what his favorite food was and always had to ask whenever Matty was with him for the weekend; the guy who didn't know that he loved dinosaurs and it wasn't just some passing interest and if he doesn't make it as a football player, Matty wants to go somewhere and dig for bones.

  "Did he and mama love each other?" Matty then asks, hoping his grandpa will say something to something he asks.

  Johnathan then nods. Slowly. "They loved each other as much as two sixteen-year-old kids can love one another. I'll always remember when you were born and him and your mama were in the hospital room with you. Jimmy held you and had tears in his eyes. He loved you a lot."

  Matty nearly snorts at that because he doubts it but he knows better than to do that in front of his grandpa. Johnathan is a big softie towards his kids and grand-kids but he doesn't tolerate disrespect – no matter how understandable it is in this particular situation.

  "So, what happened then?" Matty asks, frowning.

  Johnathan exhales a deep breath. "Your mama wanted him to keep his plans. He was going off to college. He had a scholarship and mama didn't want him to give that up. And it was hard on both of them but they did love you, Matty."

  Matty just keeps staring at him. He finds it hard to believe.

  "And slowly, the distance was taking a toll and Jimmy met someone else and…" he trails off then, as if he's not quite sure how to word any of this but Matty can fill in the blanks. He's not a stupid kid and he knows enough.

  His first dad went off and met someone else and married her and she hated that he had a son and his first dad started pulling back from him until he was hardly in the picture before he signed papers, removing himself completely from it. And now, he's married with a kid and he has everything he's always wanted. There's never been any room for Matty in the life he's got for himself.

  And normally, Matty wouldn't be thinking about this. Why would he? He's got a dad. And his dad is the best dad he could ever ask for. His dad loves him and wants him and what more can Matty ask for than that? But then, his first dad came to watch him play at his game and now, Matty can't stop thinking about him.

  He hears a truck coming up the dirt road to the farm and Matty turns his head, seeing that it's his dad, returning from the prison but he's a lot earlier than usual. He's usually gone for hours and comes back just in time for dinner. But it's just barely noon now.

  His mama seems to be thinking the same thing because she comes out onto the front porch, having heard the truck, and Matty leaves the barn to walk to the house, looking over his shoulder to make sure that Otter is with him but he always is.

  "Is everything alright?" Mama asks, coming down a step, frowning, worried, as dad steps from the truck, slamming the door a little too hard behind him.

  "Got a call on my way there. Knows I come and visit 'im every Sunday," dad said and Matty comes to stand up on the steps, too, as dad stands on the ground at the bottom.

  "What's happened with Celtus?" Mama asks, still frowning, still looking so worried.

  Dad shakes his head, his hands on his hips, his eyes staring hard at the ground. He then lifts his head and looks at both mama and Matty. "Got 'imself locked up in solitary confinement for the next week. No visitors." And as he says it, he sounds so angry and Matty can see the muscles twitch in his face as he clenches his teeth tightly together. Sometimes, when it comes to Uncle Celtus, dad gets so angry towards him.

  Matty wonders if his first dad had another son – the son he's always wanted – and Matty wonders if he'll ever get to meet the kid. His brother or sister. Matty knows he won't though. His first dad doesn't want any part of him in his life so why couldn't Matty stop thinking about him and the little kid?

  Matty wonders if he'll always be an only kid. Mama has Aunt Maybelle and Uncle Shawn and dad has Uncle Celtus but dad wants to kill his older brother most of the time and it seems like mama and Aunt Maybelle and Uncle Shawn are always having stupid disagreements with each other. It seems like having a brother or sister means nothing more than always fighting with them.

  And if
that's all it really is, Matty doesn't want to meet his first dad's kid and he's perfectly fine being on his own with dad and mama.

  …

  "Matty," Mama knocks on the bedroom door even though it's wide open and Matty's on his bed, reading a book for his monthly book report he has due that Friday. This time, it's a biography on Walter Payton, the best running back ever for the Chicago Bears and one of the best running backs ever in the NFL. Uncle Shawn and Coach T both tell him that he can be the next Walter Payton if he wants and Matty knows they both mean that when they say that to him.

  Mama smiles when she sees him and comes to sit down on the side of the bed. Matty closes the book and sits up, looking at her. Dad comes into the room then, too, giving them both small smiles before pulling the chair out from the desk and sitting down. Matty knows immediately that something is going on for both of them to be in here like this but he knows he's not in trouble because they're both smiling at him.

  "What?" Matty asks then, completely confused because he has no idea what's going on. His parents normally don't act weird like this – not like some other parents. Like Tavon's mom will make him call her three times a day from the school's front office and Tavon will tell her whether or not he saw his dad standing outside.

  Mama smiles then and reaches a hand out, brushing some hair off his forehead. He's always hated his hair. It's curly and blonde and more than one kids on the football field has told him that he looks like a doll.

  "Your dad and I wanted to talk with you. We wanted you to be the first to know before we told anyone else," mama says and she's still smiling but Matty knows his mama and he can tell that she's a little nervous right now, too.

  And Matty's not sure why but he looks at mama and then dad and then back at mama and he feels a heaviness in his stomach – like the chicken and rice casserole with fresh bread they ate for dinner that night isn't digesting right with him.

  "Matty," mama says and Matty stares at her, waiting, though he's pretty sure he doesn't want to hear this. "Your dad and I are going to have a baby. In a few months, you're going to be big brother to a little sister or little brother." She says it with a smile on her face and Matty can't do anything but stare at her and he hears a roaring in his ears as if he's suddenly falling backwards.