Playing With Fire

by Mary Larkin

  Trevor was as usual lost in the morning paper and hadn’t noticed anything untoward. Susan studiously avoided her mother’s eye and Rachel knew better than to pursue the matter. The writer of the letter would be revealed when - and only when - her daughter thought fit.

  As soon as she was free, Susan locked herself in the bathroom and, sitting on the edge of the bath, pulled the letter from her pocket. It was quite brief. In it Jim expressed his sorrow at the way things had turned out on Saturday night. He took all the blame for failing to impress her, saying he had been insensitive in the extreme and did not blame her for slapping him on the Monday. He asked if they could please be friends and offered to give her some driving lessons before her friend arrived from England. Suggesting Wednesday evening as a starting date, he said he would be outside the gates at seven o’clock. If she failed to show he would understand and wished her all the best for the future.

  Susan sat gazing into space for some time debating what she should do. Feeling as she did about him, could they be just good friends? It was worth a try. After all, not all friends became lovers - look at her and Donald, for instance. She might be only too glad of Jim’s friendship one day. So what had she to lose?

  Hearing William gurgling, she left the bathroom and went to attend to him. He always wakened in a happy mood, but if he was ignored for too long he would soon give off. Her mother cornered her later, whilst she was bathing William.

  ‘Susan, I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to tell me the truth, mind.’ Rachel was so agitated that she was wringing her hands in apprehension.

  From her position kneeling beside the baby bath, Susan sat back on her heels and gazed at her in amazement. The state her mother was in, if Susan said ‘Boo’, Rachel would probably have fainted on the spot. She held her tongue and waited.

  ‘Were you raped?’

  Susan couldn’t believe her ears. ‘Pardon?’

  ‘You heard me.’

  Susan’s mouth dropped open. ‘Catch yourself on, Mam.’

  ‘Well, were you? Are you covering up for some man?’

  ‘Look, Mam, believe me, I’d never be so noble. If I’d been raped, you can bet your sweet life everybody would have known all about it. Do you think I’m daft or something? I’d never let any man get away with the likes of that.’

  ‘Why be so secretive then? Why not speak out and set everybody’s mind at rest.’

  ‘Because, as I’ve said time and time again, it’s nobody’s business but mine, and too many people would be hurt. Why are you suddenly so hot and bothered?’

  ‘You would tell me if you’d been raped, wouldn’t you?’ Rachel persisted. ‘Even if it is someone we all know?’ Her voice was ragged with worry and Susan gazed at her in bewilderment.

  ‘Mam, believe me, I wasn’t raped!’

  ‘Convince me, please. Tell me the man’s name.’

  ‘Mam, what’s got into you? I wasn’t raped. You’ll just have to take my word for it.’

  Hand pressed to her mouth to stifle a sob, Rachel turned and left the room.

  Pulling a towel from the hot rail, Susan lifted her wriggling bundle of joy out of the bath and carried him to the nursery. She was confused beyond measure; could not comprehend what her mother was getting at. Did she suspect Graham was the father and thought her sister should be informed? Well, tough! She had no intention of opening that can of worms. Not even to please her mother.

  The first meeting with Jim was an awkward affair. On Wednesday evening she watched from the landing window and saw him arrive dead on seven o’clock. Tightly gripping her handbag, she quickly descended the stairs and was out the door without anyone detaining her.

  When he spotted her coming down the drive, Jim left the car and came round to open the passenger door for her. ‘Thank you for coming. I don’t deserve it.’

  ‘After what I did? I’m sorry I slapped your face in public like that,’ she said ruefully. ‘Were you very embarrassed? ’

  He shrugged. ‘Just a bit, but I got over it. Actually, it got me a lot of sympathy from those girls. They cheered me when I eventually left the bar.’ He had opened the car door but was blocking access to it. ‘How well do you drive, Susan? I’ve no idea. Would you like to start now?’

  ‘Oh no,’ she cried in alarm. ‘Let’s go somewhere there isn’t a lot of traffic, please. I’m sure to be very rusty.’

  He laughed and opened the door wide for her.

  He drove up to the zoo car park and stopped the car. ‘This should do the trick.’ He turned in his seat to look at her. ‘Susan, what happened between us lately can’t be ignored. I just want to say I’ll be going to America in three months’ time and so far the firm thinks you are coming with me. If you feel you care enough to marry me, let me know. Meanwhile, I’ll be only too happy to teach you to drive.’

  ‘Thank you, but don’t count on it, Jim. William must always come first.’

  ‘I realise that now.’ He squeezed her arm gently. ‘Let’s swap seats. I want to see how well you drive.’

  Donald left his car in the garage at Cockerton to get it serviced and walked up West Auckland Road to tell Edith he was going over to Ireland for a holiday. ‘Why, that’s wonderful news!’ she cried. ‘Will you be anywhere near Belfast?’ she asked excitedly.

  ‘Not only will I be near Belfast, but I’ll be staying there.’ He laughed happily as he informed her, ‘Susan has invited me to stay in her home. What do you think of that?’

  ‘That’s marvellous!’ She nodded wisely. ‘They’ll see that you have a good time while you’re with them, so they will. If I get some wee presents for them all, will you take them over for me? That is, if you’re driving over?’

  ‘I am, yes, taking the car, and of course I’ll deliver your presents.’

  ‘I wish I was going with you,’ she lamented.

  ‘Now that’s an idea, Edith. Why don’t you come with me? I’d be glad of the company and there’s stacks of room in the car. And you know they’d be glad to see you.’

  Edith’s voice was sad. ‘If only I could, but we’re too busy at the moment. This good weather is bringing so many visitors to Darlington. Not just on market days, but every day. It wouldn’t be fair to leave Billy to cope on his own. Especially at weekends.’

  ‘Would Jack not help out at weekends?’

  ‘Can you see Margaret letting him? She gripes enough as it is because he can’t afford a car to squire her about. That wee girl wants to run before she can walk. There’s no way she would let him give up his free time to help out. And mind you . . . we wouldn’t ask him to do it for nothing.’

  ‘Put it to Billy anyhow,’ Donald urged. ‘See what he says.’

  ‘No. No, it wouldn’t be fair putting the onus on him. He would only insist on me going with you. Perhaps in the autumn when we’re not so busy, he and I will get over for a week. That wee baby of Susan’s looks lovely in the photographs she sent over. I’d love to see him. But forget about me. Do you need anything, son? How are you off for money?’

  ‘I couldn’t take your hard-earned cash, Edith! But it’s more than generous of you to offer.’

  ‘It would be a loan, but you could take your time paying it back.’

  ‘Not even for a loan! Cash flow is most important in business. You need a little capital behind you in case of the unexpected. Thanks all the same, but I’ll manage.’

  ‘Quite the little businessman,’ she laughed. ‘But if you should need help, sure you won’t be too shy to ask?’

  ‘Thanks, Edith, you’re a pal. I’ll bear it in mind.’

  ‘Hush, here’s Billy now. Don’t mention me saying I’d like to go to Belfast.’

  ‘Look who I picked up along the way,’ Billy cried as he stood, still hidden from view, behind the open living-room door.

  A little head came around the door, face alight with laughter.

  ‘Why, it’s a little angel.’ Edith swooped on her granddaughter and, taking her from Billy’s arms, hugged her close. �
�How’s my little darling today?’ she crooned.

  Margaret followed Billy into the room, her eyes brightening noticeably when she saw Donald. ‘She’s a bit off-colour. We had taken her out for a breath of fresh air when Billy spotted us, and insisted we come home with him. I didn’t notice your car outside, Donald?’

  ‘It’s in getting serviced.’

  Jack followed her into the room. ‘We won’t be able to stay too long, mind,’ he warned when his eyes fell on Donald.

  ‘Well, I’m sure you can all at least take time to have a cup of tea,’ Edith reasoned. ‘I’ve a lovely fresh Madeira cake.’

  ‘You’ve convinced me, Edith,’ Donald chuckled.

  ‘I second that,’ Margaret agreed, and planked herself down on the settee beside him. So close it wasn’t decent. He squirmed as Jack glared at him. Why was he glaring at him? Why didn’t he control his wife, instead of taking it out on him? He wanted to upbraid Jack, but what good would it do? He moved as far away from her as possible, but she edged along after him and patted the space on the other side of her, as if they were making room for her husband. Jack looked at her and wasn’t fooled. The venom in his eyes was almost tangible as his eyes raked their faces. For a moment Donald braced himself, convinced that Jack was about to lunge at them in a rage, but with a stifled oath he turned on his heel and left the room. They heard the front door slam and Margaret, with a smug smile, snuggled closer to Donald.

  ‘Isn’t this nice,’ she whispered.

  They were alone, Billy having taken Angela out to see the birds in the back garden, while Edith was in the kitchen making the tea. With a contented sigh, Margaret wiggled her body along the length of his, pressing closer still; rubbing her cheek against his sleeve.

  Appalled at her effrontery in her mother-in-law’s house, Donald growled, ‘You’re asking for trouble, girl.’

  She smiled sweetly at him. ‘No, you’re reading the signs all wrong, Donald. It’s a bit of lust I’m after. Just good, old-fashioned sex, you know! God knows, my life is so drab I could do with a bit of excitement in it.’ Daringly she placed a hand on his thigh and gently caressed it.

  He pushed it away. ‘You’re shameless!’

  ‘No. Wrong again. Just bored. You know, you could put a stop to my boredom, Donald. And then everybody would be happy. And the best of it is, no one need be any the wiser. We could be very discreet about it.’

  ‘You don’t know the meaning of the word.’

  ‘Oh, but I do. You’d be surprised.’ The hand was back and she laughed softly when she saw the effect it was having. ‘It’s very obvious to me you still find me attractive, Donald, and it would do no harm to give in to your urges. I promise never to tell anyone.’

  He was on his feet and away from her caressing hand and the unwanted effect it was having on him. ‘Are you actually looking for a divorce?’ he hissed into her face.

  ‘Jack dotes on Angela. He’d never divorce me,’ she said confidently. ‘Unless of course I forced him to.’ A speculative look came into her eye. ‘Would you be interested, Donald, if I was free?’ Her mouth twisted in a wry grimace as she assured him, ‘You needn’t worry about Jack. I can manage him. He’s putty in my hands.’

  ‘More fool him! Do you know something? You’re sick! You don’t know when you’re well off.’ With these words, Donald left her and went off to join Edith in the kitchen.

  Edith eyed him covertly as he gazed blindly out of the window. ‘Is Margaret up to her old tricks again?’

  He turned a look of surprise on her. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked apprehensively.

  She laughed sadly. ‘Do you think I’m blind, son? I know what’s going on. It will do you good to get away from her for a while, before she wears you down.’

  ‘What I don’t understand, Edith,’ he cried in frustration, ‘is why Jack doesn’t put his foot down. Show her who’s boss.’

  ‘I think he’s afraid! If they have a showdown, he doesn’t know whether you’ll be waiting to take her on. Will you, Donald?’

  He puffed out his cheeks and expelled his breath loudly. ‘I’ve had enough of Margaret to last me a lifetime, thank you.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear that, son. To be truthful, I wasn’t sure. She’s a very attractive woman - and a very determined one at that. She likes to get her own way.’

  ‘I suppose, if I had any sense, I’d get out of Darlington. Give their marriage a chance.’

  ‘Why? Why should you be the one to move? This is your home town. You’ve always lived in Darlington, and I for one would be sorry to see you go. As for your mother? Why, she’d be devastated. Here, take this tray in, son. Let Margaret make herself useful for a change, being mother. I’ll give Billy a shout when I cut this cake, and follow you in.’

  They hadn’t heard Jack return, but he sat at the opposite end of the settee from Margaret, looking the picture of misery.

  ‘Edith says will you pour, Margaret?’

  ‘Sure.’

  Her pale hair swung down around her face as she bent over the tray, casting mysterious shadows around her eyes and mouth. She really was lovely to look at. A pity her demeanour wasn’t as nice. Still, Donald could understand why Jack put up with her tantrums. His eyes ran down her body, lingering on the curve of her hips. Yes, she still had the power to arouse him, in spite of the fact that he didn’t like her any more. He could understand why Jack was so besotted with her. Raising his head, he met Jack’s baleful glare and blushed with shame at the road his thoughts had taken. He really would be glad to get away from them both for a while.

  Edith passed the plate of Madeira cake around and, feeling the tension hanging in the air, sought to break it. ‘Has Donald told you he’s going over to Ireland in a couple of weeks’ time?’

  Margaret’s head reared back. ‘No, he hasn’t mentioned it. My, but you’re a dark horse. When did you decide on this, Donald?’

  ‘Just lately.’

  ‘Are you going over to Susan?’

  ‘Yes.’ He didn’t elaborate and she gazed down at her plate. With Jack sitting there she didn’t dare show too much concern; he was upset enough already.

  Billy broke off putting small morsels of cake into his granddaughter’s mouth. ‘Did I hear you right? Is Trevor Cummings actually letting you stay in his house?’

  Looking apprehensive, Donald nodded his head. ‘Is there any reason why he shouldn’t?’

  ‘No, no. But he must have changed his spots. There was a time he would hardly pass the time of day with a Catholic. Or perhaps he doesn’t know you’re a Catholic. Is that it?’

  Seeing a worried frown gather on Donald’s brow, Edith admonished her husband. ‘Stop teasing, Billy. You’re worrying the lad. Don’t you listen to him, Donald. If Susan says you can stay in their house it must be all right.’

  ‘Are you going over to make an honest woman of her, Donald?’ Margaret asked maliciously.

  ‘Not really, but I’ll tell you this much: if I think there’s a chance she’ll have me, I’ll certainly ask her to marry me. You couldn’t meet a nicer girl.’

  ‘Huh! That’s a matter of opinion.’

  ‘I think most people like her, Margaret.’ Donald drained his cup and rose to his feet. ‘That was worth waiting for, Edith. The cake was delicious. I’ll have to be shoving off now.’

  Margaret came to the door of the kitchen as he placed his cup in the sink. ‘I would like to send something over for the baby. Will you call in and see us before you go, Donald?’

  Not wanting to give her an excuse to follow him over to the sink and make a fool of him again, he joined her at the doorway, where they were in full view of the others. ‘I will surely, Margaret. As soon as I know when I’m leaving I’ll give you a tinkle and you can leave your gift with Edith. I’ll be picking some things up from here before I go.’ He had raised his voice just loud enough for everyone to hear.

  ‘I’ll buy something tomorrow.’ She looked meaningfully at him. ‘Perhaps we’ll have a drink with you before you g
o? Wouldn’t that be nice, Jack?’

  No answer was forthcoming from her husband, but undeterred she continued, ‘We’ll see you before you go, Donald.’

  Not if I can help it, Donald thought and, bidding them all good day, left the house.

  On a fine Saturday morning two weeks later Donald left Darlington early in the morning on his journey up to Stranraer and the cross-channel ferry. He was booked on a late afternoon sailing, but never having been to Scotland before wanted to take his time and see all the beautiful scenery Susan had raved about. Billy had also warned him about all the small villages and towns he would pass through, which would slow his journey down somewhat; especially Dumfries, where the traffic was usually bumper-to-bumper on Saturdays.

  The further he got away from Darlington, the more relaxed he became. In spite of all his best endeavours to elude her, Margaret had at last caught up with him the night before. He had been collecting the gifts that Edith was sending over to all her family when Margaret arrived with her present for Susan’s baby, just as he was about to leave. Edith had apologised for letting her know he was coming, but as she pointed out, Margaret had phoned knowing that Donald was leaving the next morning and had asked if she could come over with a present for Susan’s baby, so what could she do but agree?

  Jack was on the late shift, Margaret explained when she arrived, and so, wanting to catch Donald, she had left Angela with her neighbour for a while to come over with her present for the baby. ‘You’re a hard man to catch,’ she said and eyed him reproachfully, knowing full well that he had managed to elude all her attempts to waylay him en route from work.

  Glad that her gifts were already packed into the boot, Edith asked, ‘Have you time for a cup of tea, Margaret? Billy will be out some time yet, but if you can wait he’ll give you a lift home as soon as he gets here.’

  ‘I don’t want to impose on my neighbour by being away too long. If I do stay for a cuppa, will you give me a lift home, Donald? It would save me waiting for a bus. They’re few and far between at this time of evening.’