The Cowboy's Baby

by Linda Ford

  “Colby,” she whispered. “Don’t die on me. Give me another chance.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  His lips tickled, jerking him from a pleasant nothingness. At first he resented it. He’d been floating like a bit of dandelion fuzz—effortless, bodiless. But a voice called his name, pulling him back…to a body that felt as if he’d been pinned to a barn door with a pitchfork.

  “Colby.” His name whispered past his pain. The voice was familiar, promising things he had never known.

  His floating was filled with soft clouds. He struggled to break through to clear sky.

  “Colby.”

  He knew the voice. It made him want to smile. It filled him with determination to fight through to the surface. Anna. He struggled to take the word from his thoughts to his voice. “Anna.” It was nothing more than a croak. He tried again. “Anna.” A little better.

  He forced his eyes open, groaning as the light burned the back of his brain. Anna’s face floated above him, smiling. He tried to smile back then darkness closed about him.

  He lost count of how many times he flitted back and forth from darkness to the light of Anna’s smile. If he’d been able to count. He tried. Got as far as two before he lost track.

  Suddenly a thought blared through the fog of his brain.

  Lew. He had to protect Anna and Dorrie from the man. He again fought through the mists. “Lew?”

  Anna hovered over him. “He got killed trying to shoot the sheriff.”

  He sank back into blissful sleep.

  The next time he opened his eyes, he knew the fog had departed. He was left with a deep fatigue and a body that hurt like fury. And Anna’s sweet smile. “Hi,” he croaked.

  “Hi, yourself.” She held a cup with a spout to his lips and he drank greedily.

  “Am I going to live?”

  She touched his forehead, pushed back his hair.

  He closed his eyes and let his skin drink in the gesture.

  “Do you want to?”

  Did he want to spend years teaching Anna how much he loved her? Reveling in this contact between them? Enjoying his wonderful child? Before he could expect her to trust him, there were things he must explain. He managed to lift his arm and grasp her hand. “I want to tell you about Lew.”

  She pressed her fingertips to his mouth. “Later. When you’re stronger.”

  He gladly left it to later as he let the pleasure of her touch fill his heart with hope and joy. He only wanted another chance to prove to her that she could trust her affections to him.

  Daily he grew stronger. He was moved to the house Hugh had rented. He wished he could be closer to Anna but she came by every day, bringing him broth, or biscuits, insisting he eat. Once he was stronger, she brought Dorrie to visit.

  As soon as Anna put Dorrie on her feet, the little gal raced for Colby, calling, “Da-da, Da-da,” as if she thought the lost had been found.

  “She missed you.”

  “I missed her.” He reached for her, ignoring the pain in his side.

  Anna noticed his grimace. “Take it easy. I’ll lift her.”

  But he already had Dorrie on his lap and listened carefully as she babbled away on some long, involved story. He nodded and murmured, “That’s right” and “Yup” at what he hoped were appropriate times.

  As Dorrie entertained him, Anna prepared tea. She’d brought cookies and the three of them sat and enjoyed the afternoon.

  Eventually Dorrie scrambled down to explore the empty crate Hugh had pushed into the corner.

  “To think I might have never been able to enjoy this.”

  “You might have died.” She squeezed his hand. Her eyes glistened with tears.

  His heart leaped with hope.

  “I’m awfully glad you didn’t.”

  “There is something I have to tell you.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not necessary.”

  “I don’t want any more secrets between us.”

  She considered him a moment, her expression seeming to offer hope.

  It gave him courage to tell her. “Lew thought I knew where stolen money was hidden.”

  She nodded.

  He hardly dared believe that she didn’t wonder if he had a hand in getting the nonexistent stolen funds. “I didn’t because there wasn’t any.” He told of Harv’s method of control.

  She only nodded. “He was an evil man.”

  Once started, he couldn’t seem to stop. He told why he kept running from bad to worse. “I didn’t think I could be what you needed. I didn’t know if I could protect you.” He still didn’t know if he could or if anything he had to offer was about the same value as the dust on his boots. But he intended to stay and see this through.

  She smiled gently and folded her hands over his. “You protected me and Dorrie by taking a bullet for us. I hope you never again feel you need to prove your ability to take care of us in such a way. But it isn’t your protection I really want. It’s you—here forever.”

  He stared, uncertain he’d heard her correctly. “Me?”

  “Is that so surprising? Haven’t we belonged together since that first day we met?”

  “It’s all I’ve ever wanted. There’s a part of my life that is always silent when I’m away from you. I love you.”

  She tipped her face to him. “I love you, too. And even more, I trust you. Can you ever forgive me for not?”

  He chuckled. “You had every reason to doubt me. I wondered about myself many times. But no more. Your love has brought me home and with God’s help I will be the kind of man both you and Dorrie need.”

  “You are exactly what we need. No proof necessary.” She leaned closer, her look intent on his mouth.

  He could not ignore her silent invitation to a kiss and he captured her lips with all the hunger and love of the years they had been apart.

  A little later, after many kisses, he tipped her face upward to smile into her welcome. “Will you marry me?”

  She blinked. Her eyes darkened and she shot straight up, putting a chilling distance between them.

  He watched worry and confusion flood her face. He ached to erase it with a kiss, but she turned to look out the window.

  “What about Alex and Father? Who will take care of them?”

  “Anna, come back here.”

  She hesitated then returned to stare at him with dark, bottomless eyes.

  He pulled her close. “Let’s trust God to provide an answer.” He kissed her forehead, her cheeks and then her lips, trying to drive away the worry that had replaced her joy.

  “I have promised to trust God through good and bad.” Her words did not sound full of hope.

  He prayed she wasn’t looking for a way to refuse him.

  She loved him. She wanted to marry him. But Alex and Father couldn’t manage by themselves. She owed it to Rose to take care of them. As she tended her chores, her mind whirled until she felt like a top on a wild ride across a tabletop heading in a crazy path toward the edge and disaster.

  “Father, I’m going over to the church.”

  Dorrie slept, Alex lay in bed reading.

  She crossed the yard and stepped into the interior of the church. The slanting rays of sunlight coming through the west windows drew long shadows across the floor and up the east wall. The place smelled clean. The scent of new wood was still discernable. Her gaze lingered on the pew where Colby often sat to play his mouth organ. She missed seeing him there, sharing their love of music.

  If she married Colby they could enjoy making music together every evening for the rest of their lives. Her heart jumped with joy and anticipation. She pressed her hand to her chest as if she would control the emotion.

  If?

  Had she already decided marriage wasn’t possible?

  She sank to the front pew and stared at the cross. Marred by the fire, yet a thing of beauty. Many had expressed delight with how Colby and his friends had salvaged it. Even Mrs. Percy had sidled up to Anna and murmured, “I kind o
f thought they were doing something special like this.” Anna had smiled and nodded. But she recalled the suspicions the woman had voiced.

  Was she like Mrs. Percy? Mistrustful unless the evidence was thrust in her face?

  Anna lowered her head to her upturned palms. Oh, God, you know my heart. How I love Colby and want to spend the rest of my life with him. And yet I know I must look after Alex and Father.

  Trust God. The words filled her mind.

  She wanted to, but she’d never known trusting to be so hard. For a long time she sat with her head bowed as she fought an inner battle. Whatever You will. I submit to You, oh, my Father.

  Unless God provided a solution, her duty was to stay with Father and Alex. She didn’t expect Colby would understand her decision.

  She slowly rose, and with heavy heart and leaden feet, made her way home.

  The next day she moved about slowly, her heart weighted with her decision.

  Father, bless his heart, never seemed to notice her moods. Except today. He lingered at the table after lunch and was still there when Anna returned from putting Dorrie down for her nap. “Anna, why are you so sad? Colby’s on the mend. I thought you’d be overjoyed.”

  Yes, he was going to live but her joy in the fact had been diminished by knowing she could not share his life. Yet she made herself smile. “I’m so grateful. God is good.” Trust was hard but she had set her mind to do so and she would.

  “Then why do you look like you’ve lost all hope?”

  She busied herself at the stove. Was she really so transparent? And if she trusted God, shouldn’t she be able to find a bit of joy somewhere?

  Father waited for her answer.

  “I guess it’s just reaction to all that’s taken place.”

  She couldn’t meet Father’s eyes but was aware of his scrutiny.

  “Has Colby been less than a gentleman?”

  She gasped. “Oh, my, certainly not.” Her hot cheeks at remembering their kisses likely gave Father reason to wonder if she was completely honest.

  Father cleared his throat. “Anna, I am going to be very direct with you and I want an honest answer.”

  She stood in the middle of the kitchen, facing him, unable to move. When Father spoke like that, she knew she was about to deal with an unpleasant subject but she couldn’t think of anything she should dread. It wasn’t as though anyone had seen her and Colby kissing except Dorrie, and she thankfully couldn’t report on their behavior. At least, she didn’t think anyone had seen. Unless there were busybodies peeping in windows.

  “Daughter, has Colby spoken of his intentions?”

  Her breath whooshed out. “He’s going to work at the feed mill once he’s feeling strong enough. After that I don’t know. He hasn’t said.” She hadn’t asked. Her interests had been more immediate.

  “I mean toward you.”

  “Me?”

  “I’m aware you and Colby have always had a close relationship and I’ve watched it grow and flourish since his return. Does he intend to marry you?”

  She stared. Father was being very fatherly all of a sudden. She wouldn’t have expected he even noticed how much time she and Colby spent together. “He— I—”

  “I would think a simple yes or no would suffice.”

  “He has asked me.”

  “Then why the long face?”

  Tears stung her eyes, clogged her nose, filled her throat. She swallowed hard. Tried to push them back. “I can’t marry him.”

  “Why ever not? Don’t you love him?”

  She nodded, too full of tears to speak.

  Father studied her a moment then nodded solemnly. “I see.”

  She turned away, having no idea of what he saw.

  “I’ve got a visit to tend to. I’ll be back in a little while.”

  “Fine.” She welcomed time to pull her emotions under control. I trust God. He will only do what is best for me.

  Dorrie woke and Anna got her up. She should think of making some cookies but she couldn’t find the energy. Must be because the house was so hot from the summer sun.

  Or because her heart was so dull with sorrow she could barely find the energy to pack it around.

  The back door opened. Father stepped aside to allow Grace Weaver to enter. Grace took one look at Anna and rushed over to hug her. “You look exhausted. Sit down and let me make tea for you…us.”

  Anna didn’t have the energy to argue and allowed herself to be led to the table where she sank to a chair and managed to resist the urge to lay her head on her arms and have a good hard cry.

  As the kettle boiled, Grace put cookies on a tray.

  Cookies? Anna had meant to bake some but it hadn’t happened. Grace must have brought them.

  Father sat across from Anna and in a few minutes the three of them huddled around the table with full teacups before them.

  Father cleared his throat.

  Anna wondered what announcement he intended to make that required Grace’s presence.

  “Anna,” he began. “You need to follow your heart.”

  She nodded, unsure what he meant. Part of her heart wanted to stay here and look after Father and Alex. She loved them. She knew Rose would want her to. A much larger portion of her heart belonged forever and always with Colby.

  Grace reached for Anna’s hands. “I know you feel your duty is to Alex and your father but I don’t think you need to worry about either of them. I will take good care of them.” There was no mistaking the soft pink color flooding up Grace’s cheeks.

  Anna stared, and then her mouth fell open as the impact of Grace’s suggestion began to make sense. She returned her jaw to a closed position. “You mean you and Father…”

  Grace grinned. “We love each other.”

  Father nodded. “I intend to marry her. With approval from you and Alex.”

  Approval? He didn’t need it from her. “When? How?” She shook her head. “I can’t believe it.”

  “We’ve been very discreet.”

  “I’m delighted.” Anna laughed.

  “You should be. You are now free to follow your own desires.” Grace smiled gently.

  Father nodded. “It’s time for you to start your own life.”

  She looked from one to the other then giggled. “How long do you think it will take to plan a wedding?”

  “Can we make that two? And I don’t care about anything fussy.” Grace looked terribly pleased.

  “Nor I.”

  They grinned at each other. Father reached for both their hands.

  Anna bolted to her feet. “I have something to take care of.”

  “Run along, dear. We’ll watch Dorrie.”

  Within minutes Anna stood outside Hugh’s house. Perhaps Colby had changed his mind. She smiled. He meant it when he said he loved her. And she trusted him.

  Just as she trusted God and He had provided a way for her to let go of her current responsibilities. Even when she hadn’t had the faith to ask for such a blessing.

  Assured this was of God and propelled by her love, she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

  Colby was resting in the chair.

  “Colby?”

  He blinked, his eyes widening with pleasure when he saw her.

  “Let me tell you about how faithful our God is.” She told him of Grace’s assurance that Father and Alex would be well taken care of.

  As she talked the sunshine came to Colby’s eyes until they glowed.

  She finished but he didn’t speak. He just looked at her with such a look of joy that she felt tonguetied. And yet he still didn’t say anything.

  “Have you changed your mind?”

  “About what?” he croaked.

  “About me.” She couldn’t look at him for fear she’d built a false dream.

  He jumped to his feet, groaned with a reminder of his recent injuries. Laughing he pulled her to his arms. “I will never change my mind about you. And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you.” He tr
ailed a warm fingertip down her cheek to the center of her chin. “Anna, I love you. Will you marry me and make me the happiest man on earth?”

  He waited, his gaze warm and eager.

  She laughed, her heart so full she didn’t know how to contain it. “I love you, Colby, and I will marry you.”

  “When?”

  Her smile widened at his eagerness. “I think we need to discuss such things and make plans.”

  “Later.” He lifted her chin with his finger, lowered his head slowly as if delighting in the anticipation, and then sweetly covered her lips with his.

  “I knew it would take a miracle for you to leave your family. And we got it. Hallelujah. Let’s thank God.”

  She gladly joined him in thanking their heavenly Father for providing a way for them to be together. And then they sat side by side, holding hands and talking.

  She remembered his words about wanting a home. “Colby, I will provide you a home where you always feel welcome and cared for.”

  He hugged her and kissed her. “I know you will. And I promise to be a man you can trust at all times.”

  The sun slanted through the window and bathed them in golden light.

  She bolted to her feet. “I forgot about Dorrie and supper.” She leaned over and kissed him. “You have filled my thoughts to the exclusion of all else.”

  “Can’t have that, now can we? Let me go with you.”

  Gladly she let him accompany her home.

  Dorrie sat in her chair playing with a little yarn doll Anna had never seen before. She knew Grace brought it, probably made it herself. Pots boiled on the stove.

  Grace grinned at them. “Wondered if you were ever coming back. I don’t have to ask if you worked things out satisfactorily. Your faces say it all.”

  Anna and Colby grinned at each other, their hearts full of love.

  Epilogue

  One month later

  Father and Grace stood together on one side of the pulpit. Colby and Anna on the other.