A Mayhem Wedding

by Brook Greene

“But y’all are cute. That’s why we love you.”

  ~~~~~~

  “Hollis?” I shout as I walk through the door of our cabana.

  “In here.” Her voice is music to my ears.

  I round the corner into the small living area to find her sitting on the couch with a cup of tea, freshly showered, and in one of my T-shirts. “Hey, baby,” I say as I sit down beside her, handing her the flowers before pulling her to me for a kiss.

  After I maul her, for like five minutes, she buries her nose in the bouquet. “They smell amazing.” I produce the chocolate from the bag and hand it to her with an accomplished smile on my face.

  “Look, baby, I’m sorry for reacting the way I did.”

  She lays her hand on my leg. “It’s okay, Roman. That’s a lot for anybody to take in.”

  I take a box out of the bag, shaking it at her. “So what do ya say we take a test and see if our world is getting ready to change in a really big, awesome way?”

  Her smile is contagious as she takes my hand and we go into the bathroom.

  Twenty minutes later, we’re sitting on the floor, just like I’d found her this morning, waiting for the stick to confirm what I’m sure is already a foregone conclusion. “Well?” I ask impatiently, wanting to know if we’re going to be the two coolest parents ever.

  She reaches up, grabbing the stick from the counter, her eyes pinched tightly closed. She holds it out to me. “I can’t look. You do it.”

  “Me?” I ask, shying away from the little white life-changing stick.

  Taking it the wrong way, she opens her eyes and glares at me. “Oh, good God, it’s just my pee. You’ve had your face buried between my legs so many times, I can’t even count.”

  “It’s not that, it’s just,” I shake my head. “You know…hell, you can’t do it either.”

  “Okay, fine, we’ll do it together.” She closes her eyes again and takes a deep, calming breath before holding the stick up between us.

  “What do two plus signs mean?”

  Bonus Epilogue

  16 Years Later

  Driving Lessons

  Roman

  “Okay, is your seatbelt buckled?” I look over to make sure she’s buckled in.

  “Yes,” she answers me in her perfect little voice.

  “Check your mirrors.”

  “Okay.”

  “Let’s go.”

  Her small hand rests on the gear shift and I can’t believe this day is here. Its seems like only yesterday that her mother and I were sitting on the bathroom floor on our honeymoon, looking at a little white stick, telling us she was on her way. All those nights pacing the floor, two o’clock in the morning feedings, and the time she wanted to get her ears pierced when she was seven has led to this day. I’d taken her earlier in the week to get her permit, meaning she has a year to learn how to drive, and the DMV has left that task to me.

  “Reverse, reverse!” I scream as I watch the front end of the Honda she just had to have, crash into the garage door. A small puff of smoke wafts up from the smashed-in hood.

  She raises her shoulders. “Sorry, Daddy.”

  “Put it in park and get out of the car,” I huff, looking at the caved-in garage door.

  “Daddy, I said I was sorry.” Her voice quivers with a hint of panic, and I know she’s starting to cry.

  “Sarah Ann, exit the vehicle now.” I point to her door, my eyes still on the damage.

  She sniffs as she unbuckles her seat belt and opens the door. Hollis comes running out of the house. “What happened?”

  Sarah runs to the waiting arms of her mother, crying the whole way. Hollis tilts her back, looking our daughter over, her face covered in concern. “Are you okay?”

  Sarah nods, burying herself back into her mother’s embrace. I get out and round the car, lowering myself into the driver’s side seat, never meeting the eyes of my wife, who I know is glaring at me.

  “Oh my God, that’s too funny.” Our thirteen-year-old son bellows, just as Hollis smacks him on the shoulder.

  “Shut up, Dillon!” Sarah shrieks around her tears.

  I back the car up, listening as the bumper is ripped off, still stuck in the twisted metal that was once the garage door.

  “Girls can’t drive for shit,” Dillon says as he laughs harder.

  This time, Sarah rips herself out of her mother’s arms and pushes her brother as he continues to laugh. “Shut up! You sound like Uncle Leo.” Dillon fights her back as he reaches into his jeans pocket for his phone.

  “Oh, I’ve got to call him. He’s going to die.” Sarah swipes her arm out, trying to take his phone from him.

  “Don’t you dare!” Sarah protests, reaching for a phone she’ll never touch. At thirteen, my boy is a big one, and towers over his sister by half a foot. I watch as he talks on the phone to Leo and dances around, staying just out of Sarah’s reach.

  I look at Hollis. “Please tell me you called the insurance company.”

  She crosses her arms over her chest. “Of course I did. She couldn’t have gotten her permit if I hadn’t.” I shake my head and snake my arm around Hollis’s shoulders, turning us both to watch our two kids fight over the phone.

  Sarah finally reaches Dillon and trips him, causing both of them to fall to the ground, still fighting over the phone. She over takes Dillon and rips the phone from his hand, shoving it to her ear. “In my defense, Uncle Leo, I was nervous.” She talks for a minute, and whatever Leo says makes her smile as she glances back at us.

  She has her mother’s smile, and just like her mother, she can use it to melt my heart. She stands and turns, only to throw Dillon’s phone at him, and comes to a stop in front of us.

  “I’m sorry,” she says, her hands clasped in front of her, the toe of her Chuck Taylor covered foot twisting on the ground behind her.

  “I know you are, baby.” I hold out my arms to her. She nearly knocks me down when she rushes to me, wrapping her arms around me. I plant a kiss on top of her head and lose myself in the moment. She’ll always be my baby girl, my firstborn. Then Dillon walks up to us, out of breath and still laughing. “That’s enough, let it go,” I tell him as he tries to stifle his amusement. Dillon makes a zipping motion over his mouth before I turn us toward the house. “Come on, I’ve gotta call the insurance agent.” I look down at her and she smiles up at me. She looks so much like her beautiful mother, and I’ve on more than one occasion had to slap Jackson from sniffing around. Jax Keagan has had a huge crush on Sarah since he stopped thinking girls were gross.

  She takes one more look at her car before we enter the house, just as her phone begins to ring. Fishing it out of her pocket, she chirps, “Oh, it’s Jax.”

  “Hey,” I call out, stopping her on the steps.

  Turning to me, she takes the phone from her ear. “What?” She looks a little sheepish, probably thinking I’m going to tell her to get off the phone with that little horn dog, but I’m not.

  “What did Uncle Leo say to you?”

  “He said it wasn’t my fault, that I had a bad instructor.” She smiles at me again and continues to bound up the stairs to her room, still on the phone with Jackson.

  I look over at Hollis. “When did that shit start?”

  “Oh, honey, there’s no use in fighting with her about it. It’s going to happen if me and Tessa have anything to say about it.” Hollis pats me on the back as she passes me, heading into the kitchen.

  I lay my head back and take in a deep breath. I’m getting too old for this shit.

  The End

  Stayed tuned for the Next new Series

  The Hells Bastards

 

 

 
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