by Sienna Parks
The drive home is a blur, my mind racing with so many conflicting emotions. I was finally feeling like my life was settled here. I finally stopped expecting Samantha to return about six months ago. Things have been going well on the ranch, and Sally Rae and I have our routine. We have each other and that’s all that matters. I’m not going to let Annabeth Clark come back here and mess that up for me. If she wants to live here, I can’t demand she leave, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to roll over and make it easy for her. Her and I could never be ‘friends.’ We couldn’t when we were five, and we wouldn’t be now.
She obviously didn’t feel the same way about us as I did. I never could have left her like that… without so much as a goodbye kiss. I get we were only eighteen at the time, we were still kids—but fuck—I would have wrangled the damn moon for her if she’d let me. Maybe she could be civil, and courteous, possibly even friendly, but not me. The moment I saw her tonight, my body came alive in a way it hasn’t in a long time. Every cell reacted to her presence—like the most powerful magnet. Pulling me toward her, vibrating violently against my resistance. As much as I hate her, my body still wants her, and I’ll be damned if I ever let that happen.
I’m thirty-two years old with a daughter to consider. I cannot be ruled by my dick anymore. I learned the hard way with Sam. I knew she was flakey, it was part of her charm. I’d spent year after year on the circuit, hooking up with cowboy catchers—those girls who go from rodeo to rodeo, desperate to ride a cowboy. They don’t care which one of us they caught. It was all about bragging rights. Some of them have worked their way through the entire list of competitors. I’m not into sharing the women I sleep with. I liked the quiet ones who had been dragged along to keep their friend company.
Sam was the first veteran cowboy catcher I fell into bed with. She was so hot, and persistent. She had been trying to get into my chaps for months, and finally I let her ride me like a bucking bronco. And fuck was she good at it. From that point on, my dick made all the decisions when it came to her, and before I knew what was happening—she was pregnant and we were married. I’ve often wondered if she was trying to trap me, thinking that life as the wife of a rider would be exciting. Most wives get tired of the constant travel, the endless rumors of affairs. A rider can’t avoid being photographed with a catcher or two, and even if he’s completely faithful, there will always be rumors—the kernel of doubt in the back of their mind.
I didn’t want that for Sam, or our daughter. I thought bringing her to Kingsbury Falls would be a good thing—but it destroyed us. I thought I was ruled by my dick with her, but it paled in comparison to what I felt tonight. I’ve never felt such hate and sexual desire at the same time, and it made me even angrier. I don’t want to want Annabeth. My dick is a traitor for twitching at the sight of her full lips. Remembering how they felt wrapped around me. Fuck! I’m hard just from sharing the same space as her.
The ranch comes into view in record time. The porch light guiding my way home—a beacon of hope in the darkness that surrounds me. When I pull into the driveway, I can hear my dad and Pops talking inside, and the thought of answering any questions from them sounds decidedly unappealing right now. Rae was sound asleep when I left so I head for the stables. A late-night ride might be the only thing that can stop the vibrations coursing through my body.
My favorite horse Artemis is always ready to ride, wild at heart, and faster than the wings of a hummingbird. Even the routine of saddling him up, slows my pulse, but my mind continues to race. With one foot in the stirrup, I throw my leg over his back like I have a thousand times before, and trot him out into the black night sky. As soon as we hit the open fields, he’s off like a shot. As we gallop into the dark, I can’t help but feel no matter how fast I ride, or how far I go, I won’t be able to outrun the dread pooling in the pit of my stomach.
Did I mean so little to Annabeth that she never even asked about me? Never once looked me up to see how my career was going? I’m ashamed to say I knew everything about her life until Rae was born. To everyone else, Annabeth was dead to me, because I didn’t want them to know how much I still missed her. How badly she wounded me, and how love and hate can be curious bedfellows. When Rae was born, I fell in love with her. Nothing else mattered to me. I knew I had to give Sam and me a real chance at love, but I couldn’t do it if I always had one eye on the past.
I always told myself she walked away without any consideration for me, and so I never expected her to come pounding on my door one day professing her undying love to me and begging for my forgiveness. But, to have her lack of interest confirmed tonight… was a harsh blow of reality. She didn’t know I quit riding or moved back to town. She came back here thinking she’d only bump into me once or twice a year when I came home to visit the ranch. She wanted to build a life here because she thought I was gone. My exit from the circuit was a public one—she must have gone out of her way to avoid hearing anything about me.
As I gallop toward the forest, I feel more alone than ever.
“You enjoy yourself last night, son? Heard you coming in dang near sunrise. Hope whoever she was, she was worth it. You’re gonna feel like shit today, and don’t think I’ll be cutting you any slack.”
“When have you ever, Dad? I’d probably drop dead from the shock if you did.”
Rae never misses a beat. Her little ears picking up on everything. “Did you see Momma last night, Daddy?”
“What? No.”
“But Ganddaddy told Pops you were out with a girl, probably making babies.”
If looks could kill, I would murder my father in cold blood. “Sally Rae Hale. Ladies don’t talk about such things, and Granddaddy is a silly old fool who should mind his business. I was doing no such thing. I went to see Uncle Jax. I just lost track of time is all.”
“Come on, buttercup, we got horses to feed.” Pops grabs Rae and heads outside.
“What the fuck were you thinking, talking like that in front of Rae?”
With no hint of remorse, he throws his plate in the sink, busying himself with chores. “I thought she was asleep. Besides, what the hell were you doing out so late?”
“None of your goddamn business! I’m thirty-two years old. I’m not a kid, and I’m not your goddamn employee. I work my ass off on this ranch. I run the show now… so if I want to stay out all night and get lucky once in a while, you should just butt out.”
“I’m sitting here watching over Rae…”
“Exactly, like Pops did for me. Don’t even start. You have no right to chide me. Pops is the one who raised me. You checked out after Momma left… I am not doing that to Rae. She knows I love her. I put her to bed every single night. I’m the one who sings to her when she has bad dreams, and takes care of her when she’s sick. My whole life is wrapped up in that little girl out there… so don’t you ever disrespect me in earshot of her again, or I swear to God, I will leave this town, the family ranch, and you. I’m so fucking sick of everyone thinking it’s okay to be all up in my business all the goddamn time.”
“Now you wait a minute…”
“No. The truth is the truth until the cows come home. You were a shit father. I’m not. But, you are a good grandfather, except when you cuss and trash talk me around Rae.”
“I thought she was asleep.”
It doesn’t make me feel any better. After all these years, he still can’t say a good word about me. I should’ve taken Rae and left this town a long time ago. He’s about to continue just as the door opens and Jax comes strolling in.
“Good mornin’, Hale family. Where’s my little Rae of sunshine?” His expression sobers, the tension in the room—tangible. “I’ll just go out back and get a head-start on things.”
I follow behind. “I’m done here. Wait up.”
For a fleeting moment, I think I see a modicum of regret in my father’s eyes, but it’s gone in a flash. I let the door slam behind me, but there is little solace in the dawn. Jax doesn’t last two minutes before his verbal
assault begins. “Was that really necessary last night? It’s been fourteen years. You’ve moved on, so has she.”
“Did you know she was back to stay?” The embers of anger from last night burst into a bright orange flame. “Why the fuck would you keep something like that from me?”
“I didn’t. I only found out when I bumped into her yesterday. I was going to break it to you today.”
“Why were you with her?”
“Fuck, Mad… we grew up together. When she left, I know it was hardest on you, but she was like a sister to me. I was cut up about it, too. I thought you were holing up here for the duration, so I didn’t think it was a big deal to grab a few drinks.”
When he puts it like that, I feel like a complete jackass for overreacting. He’s right. It doesn’t matter what went down between her and I, they’d been friends all their lives. I knew he was hurting back then, but I didn’t care about anything or anyone after she left. I didn’t stop to consider how badly I would let him down when I left, too. “You don’t owe me an explanation, brother. You don’t owe me a damned thing.”
“You know I’ve always got your back, right?”
“It’s too early and we’re not drunk. Cut the touchy feely bullshit. I’ve already had too much affection for one day from the old man.”
His lips curl in a knowing smile. “What’s his problem this week? I swear, if he wasn’t riding your ass all the time he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.”
“Right? I was the one dishing the disappointment today. Rae heard him trashing me last night, and it pissed me off.”
“What’d he say?”
“Can we just shelve this shit and get to work with the horses? I just need a distraction. Last night threw me for a loop, and I just need a beat to wrap my head around it. The old man is just the cantankerous old coot he’s always been.”
“Where’s Rae? I wanted to take her riding today, and I have a surprise for her.”
“Pops took her out to feed the chicks, I reckon. You can go find her. I’ll see to the horses. I could use some time to myself anyway.”
“You sure.”
“Yep. Go spoil my girl.” He sets off at a jog. Jax has been there for Rae and me since the minute I brought her home from the hospital. He tolerated Sam, but Rae—she has him wrapped around her little finger, just like the rest of us. Sometimes I think it’s because they’re on the same intellectual level, but she adores her Uncle Jax. He’s been a good friend of mine since we were in diapers, and when I moved back to town, we picked up where we left off as if no time had passed at all. He didn’t give me crap—he knew I needed a real friend, and he stepped up without asking anything in return.
I try in vain to concentrate on the task at hand, but the events of last night keep playing over and over in my mind. I can just imagine the gossips circling like a plague of locusts. There isn’t a soul in this town who hasn’t heard the story of me and Annabeth Clark. It’s like folklore. Even when Samantha lived here, she would complain people were talking about my ‘epic love’ and how she broke my heart beyond repair. I can understand why it got under her skin. I don’t think anyone would be okay hearing something like that. For a short time, people forgot… they looked at me and saw a champion. The biggest success story to come out of Kingsbury Falls.
In recent years, I stopped caring what anyone thought of me. I don’t need to prove myself, and I don’t have to answer to anyone for my actions—except Rae. She is the single greatest thing I have ever done. When she looks at me, she sees a hero—I’m her whole world, and she’s mine. I’m not going to let Annabeth ruin that for me. This is my town now, and if she wants to be a part of it, then she better stay the hell out of my way. If Samantha taught me one thing, it’s not to think with my dick. My body might be traitorous at the sight of Annabeth’s long dark hair and sumptuous lips, but my mind knows better.
ANNABETH
It’s been three weeks since I saw Maddox. I’ve been lying low in my house when I’m not at the office. All I can say is, thank God the Hale family have healthy genes. Every patient I’ve had so far has told me how to do my job. “Doc Barnes didn’t do that,” “Doc Barnes always said…” blah, blah, blah. I love Doc Barnes as much as the next person, but I really don’t appreciate everyone second-guessing me like I’m in fourth grade. I went to one of the most prestigious medical schools in the country, graduated top five percent in my class—I think I can handle an acute case of the sniffles without having to call in reinforcements!
It’s a tough adjustment going from days in a busy hospital, performing back to back surgeries, to knowing every single patient who comes through my door by name. The few kids who are new additions since I last lived here, are the offspring of people I knew in high school. It’s a strange dynamic, treating familiar faces, but the reduction in pace is a welcome change. I was eating, sleeping, and breathing surgery. I had no time to relax, or even enjoy the spoils of my endeavors. Sure, I had a great apartment in an amazing city, but most of the time I never even made it home to my own bed. Grabbing a few hours here and there in an on-call room is no way to live.
I became so immersed in that world, I never noticed it was the only thing I had in my life—until I lost it. I could have started my medical practice anywhere, but I knew somewhere deep down, I had to come back to Kingsbury Falls—if only for a short time. I lost myself here fourteen years ago when I left without telling anyone but my parents. A part of me stayed here, and I’m hoping it’s not too late for me to find it again.
I know everyone thinks I’m heartless, especially Maddox, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Seeing him in the bar was almost as hard as leaving him all those years ago. I thought I remembered everything about him, but standing in front of him, I realized my memories were a grainy black and white compared to the glorious technicolor of him in the flesh. Even his vitriol was a welcome interaction after all these years. Indifference would have been harder to stomach. I hate that I hurt him so badly, but the fact he is affected by me means there’s hope for a friendship at some point down the line—I hope.
I’m tempted to troll the internet for information to find out what happened to him. He seemed so surprised I didn’t know he had quit the circuit, but if I want to build his trust, I need to earn it. Reading articles online isn’t the way to go. As desperate as I am to know every little detail of the past five years of his life, the last fourteen years of his life—I force myself to close my laptop.
The office is busy with patients today, both appointments and walk-ins. At this rate, I’m going to need another doctor. I don’t know how this town managed with just Doc Barnes to treat every little bump and scrape. I haven’t stopped all day, and just when I think I’m going to get five minutes of quiet, Jax comes bursting into my exam room, shouting my name, panic in his voice. “A.B., help!”
The receptionist comes running in behind him. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Clark. I told him he can’t just barge in here, but he wouldn’t listen.”
He has a little girl in his arms. “It’s okay, sweet pea. This nice lady is going to make it all better.” I had no idea he had a daughter.
“No! It hurts. I not want her to touch it. Pwease.” She burrows her head against his chest, clutching her arm.
“She’ll make it better, Rae. I’m going to hold you the whole time. I’m not going anywhere… I promise.”
I usher him over to the exam table, giving him a moment to position himself and her, so I can see what I’m dealing with. As soon as I take a step toward her, she flinches, causing herself more pain. Without looking, I suspect she may have broken her arm. “Hi. I’m Dr. Clark. What’s your name, sweetie?”
“Sally Rae.” Her broken sobs make it difficult to hear what she’s saying. “Daddy calls me his Rae of sunshine.”
“He does? I can see why. I bet you have a really pretty smile. I’ve known your daddy since I was about your age.”
She looks up at Jax, still unsure of me. “Really?”
> “Yep. She knows your granddaddy, and Pops, too.” He wipes her tears, worry etched on his brow.
I take the opportunity to move a little closer. “Can I see where it hurts, Rae? I’ll be gentle.” She gingerly moves her little hand, her arm already badly bruised.
“What happened, Jax?”
“We were riding up at the ranch like we always do. But when we were walking Nelly back into the stables, Rae tripped on a rock… I couldn’t catch her in time. The minute she hit the ground she started screaming and holding her arm.”
“We’ll need an x-ray to confirm, but I suspect it’s fractured.”
“What’s a x-ay? I not want it.” She curls back against Jax, crying her little heart out. I hate seeing kids hurting.
“Rae, I’m going to ask my nurse to come and give you a nice drink. It tastes like candy, and it will make your arm hurt a little less. Can you drink it for me? Then, I’m going to take a picture of your arm. It will show me how to make you all better.”
“I want Daddy. I’m scared.”
“Daddy can sit right next to you the whole time. There’s nothing to be scared of… isn’t that right, Daddy?”
“Daddy, Daddy… I want Daddy, Uncle Jax!”
“Uncle Jax? I thought she was your…”
The nurse comes in with medicine for Rae, diverting me just long enough for Jax to refocus all his attention on the little girl crying in his lap, the one who isn’t his daughter. Uncle?
Rae visibly calms as the medicine takes effect. “Is Daddy coming?” Her voice is angelic as she drifts into a dreamlike state.
“He’s on his way, darlin’. You just rest. I got you.”
My nurse has the portable x-ray machine ready and I instruct Jax how to position Rae so I can get an accurate picture of what I’m dealing with. “Okay, you need to go and stand outside while I do this.”
