by Sienna Parks
“Maddox, where are you?” Her voice cuts through the darkness—a blade of light in my despair.
“Annabeth?” She follows the sound of my voice into the stables. The moment she sets eyes on me, she runs to my side.
“Oh, my God. What happened to you?” She starts frantically checking my face, and it takes me a moment to realize what she’s doing.
“My face is fine. The blood is from my hand.”
“What happened?”
“I punched the gate.” She turns to where my blood drips from the stable door.
“Maddox. Why would you do that?” She lifts my hand to inspect the damage. “This is bad. I’m going to have to take you to my office to clean this up.”
“I’m fine.”
“No… you’re not. This is deep, and it needs to be irrigated properly to stop a nasty infection. Come on, I’ll drive.”
“Why did you come back?”
“I never left. I was going to. I knew you two needed to talk, but something inside me… I couldn’t get in my truck. I waited until I heard her car leave. You weren’t in the house, so I came outside to look for you. I hope you don’t mind.” I pull her into my arms, unable to find the words to thank her. If there was ever a time I needed her to show me she isn’t going anywhere… it’s now.
“No. I don’t mind at all.” I can barely choke out the words as a wave of relief washes over me, my anger dissipating with every beat of her heart against my chest.
“As much as I would love to stay here with you right now, we really need to get your hand fixed up. How many times are you going to have me stitch you up in this stable?” A sly grin creeps over her lips at the memory of the last time we found ourselves in here.
“If it results in you kissing me like your life depends on it… I could do this every day.” There’s a shyness about her, even after all we’ve been through together, and it’s so endearing. My control wanes as my lips crush hers in a desperate kiss, my good hand holding the back of her neck, pulling her closer. Her body relaxes into mine, giving me everything I need in this moment. The feel of her soft curves pressed close to my body. Her hands fisting in my hair, as her tongue finds mine with a wild desire that takes over all rational thought.
It’s not until I attempt to pull my t-shirt over my head that she stops, dazed and breathless. “Oh God, Mad. Your hand. We need to go.” She extricates herself from my grasp, leaving me bereft, and hard as steel.
“Seriously? I’m dying here.”
“I’ll deal with that later. First, I need to clean up this hand.”
Once my hand is clean, stitched, and bandaged, A.B. finally breaks the silence. When we got in her truck, my adrenaline left me faster than a duck on a June bug. I didn’t have the energy to speak or to think, shocked by Sam’s appearance.
“What happened tonight?” She moves to sit at her desk, giving me some space to contemplate my words before I speak.
“Sam tried to convince me she wants to be part of the family again.” Her face drops, apprehension evident in her stare.
“As a mother, or as your wife.”
“She’s not my wife, A.B. She hasn’t been for a long time now.”
“You know what I mean. Does she want Rae back in her life, or does she want you?” The nervous trill in her voice betrays her calm exterior.
“I don’t give a shit what she wants. I want you, and I won’t be letting her anywhere near Rae.”
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t want to fight with you, A.B., but if you ever ask me again, I’m going to be pissed off. Have I ever given you reason to believe I want anyone but you?” I answer my own question. “No! I’m the one who put my heart out there, praying it doesn’t get broken again. I can’t deal with you second-guessing me right now. You need to have faith in me.”
“I do. I’m sorry. I know your head must be spinning right now.”
“She didn’t even really want us.”
“What do you mean?”
“She needs a kidney, A.B. That’s why she’s back. She thought if she could get me into bed and convince me she actually wanted to be a mother to Rae, I would agree to let Rae donate her kidney.”
“Oh, my God. What did you say?”
“I told her I better never set eyes on her again. I don’t wish her dead, but I’m not risking Rae’s health for anybody. If that makes me a selfish prick, then so be it.”
“Oh, Mad. I’m so sorry.” She walks toward me with open arms, cradling my head against her chest, gently running her fingers through my hair. “No one should be put in this position. You’ve already been through so much.”
“Did I do the right thing? Is Rae going to hate me for this in ten years’ time?” She continues to hold me tight.
“Rae could never hate you, Mad. You have to do what you feel is best for her.”
“As a doctor, though… what would you do?”
“I can’t answer that for you. It’s a personal decision. I completely understand why you don’t want to subject Rae to a painful surgery and recovery. And, I understand doing it could have implications for her later in life. Don’t question your decision. You’ve always acted in Rae’s best interests, and I truly believe you are making this choice with the same in mind.”
“If Sam dies, will I have blood on my hands?”
“No. Don’t ever think that.”
“But Rae might see it that way, and the thought she could hate me ten, or twenty years from now… it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I couldn’t bear it if she grew to resent me.”
“That isn’t going to happen. Trust me. She adores you, anyone who sees you together knows that. I promise you this isn’t going to affect your relationship with her. I know I’m still earning your trust, but as a doctor… can you trust me?”
“Yes. Of course, I do.” Her lips find mine in a loving caress.
“Make love to me, Maddox. Let me help you forget, if only for tonight. Let me show you how wonderful you are.” Without a word, I take her keys and lead her out to the truck, careful to lock the doors behind us. I drive us back to the ranch, with a bandaged hand and fire in my veins.
We make love, long into the night, whispered words of pleasure our only conversation. I worship her body with everything that I am, kissing every last inch with the reverence it deserves. We fall into an exhausted sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms, and just for a few hours, I forget about Samantha and my decision to send her away.
“Shit! I fell asleep. Wake up, Mad. Rae is at the door, and you’re lying on my pants.” I come around, groggy from last night's exploits.
“What?”
“Hurry. Rae is at the door. I need to hide, quick!” She’s tugging at her pant leg, our discarded clothes all over the bed from last night. I shout out to Rae.
“I’ll be there in a minute, sunshine.” I roll over, letting A.B. grab her clothes. I take a moment to compose myself and pull on some boxers as she scurries into the bathroom.
“Come back, A.B.” She peeks her head out the door.
“I’ll wait here till you guys go outside or something. It’s fine. I get it.” She gives me a sweet smile, and it makes me love her even more. It also makes up my mind.
“Get out here. You’re not hiding in there. We’re together. Rae has been spending time with you. I want you to have breakfast with us.”
“Do you want to me slip out and come back to the front door?”
“No! I want you to come out of my room and sit at the table. I’ll go talk to her just now. She knows you were here last night.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I want this to work, A.B.”
“So do I.”
“Then no more hiding. Let’s do this.” She runs into my arms, bowling me over onto the bed.
“I love you, Maddox Hale.”
“I love you, too, darlin’.” I grab a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and head out to see my baby girl.
“Mornin’, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?
”
“Yes, Daddy. Did you and Docor A.B. watch Moana without me?”
“Nope. She said she wants to watch it with you.” A beautiful grin spreads across her small features.
“Today? Please, Daddy!”
“Come sit with Daddy for a minute.” She crawls up into my lap, her unique little sleepy smell a welcome comfort after Sam showing up last night. “You know how Aunt Lottie and Uncle Kirby are married… like boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“They’re a mommy and a daddy.”
“Yes. But before they were a mommy and a daddy, they were still best friends, and wanted to hang out with each other a lot.” She looks at me with a quizzical look in her eyes. I’m making it too complicated. “You like spending time with A.B., don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“And Daddy likes spending time with her, too. So, I was thinking… would you be okay if Daddy spends more time with her, and maybe you spend more time with her, too? Would that be okay with you?”
“Of course, silly Daddy.”
“Well, Miss. A.B. stayed here last night because it was late and I like her being here. What do you think about that?”
“Do I still get to sleep in your bed if I have bad dweams?” Her brow furrows in consternation.
“Of course. I’m your daddy. Nothing and no one will ever change that. You’re my Rae of sunshine.”
“Okay.” She smiles at me as she wriggles out of my arms and makes a break for my room.
“Docor A.B.! Do you want to watch Moana after breakfast?” She barrels by Pops as he strolls down the hallway.
“Mornin’, Rae!”
“Pops! Docor A.B. is here. We’re gonna watch Moana.”
“Oh, you are?” He looks in my direction with a smug grin. “Isn’t that nice.”
Rae drags an embarrassed A.B. from my room. “Mornin’, Mr. Hale.”
“Call me Pops. Please. Mr. Hale makes me feel so old!” He breaks the tension and I watch in awe as A.B. scoops Rae up into her arms.
“What should we make these boys for breakfast? Pancakes?”
“Can we do chocate chippies?”
“We sure can!” They disappear into the kitchen, laughing and happy, firm friends.
“You don’t have to do that. I’ll make us something.” She looks to me with a sweet smile, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.
“I want to.” I leave them to it and head out to the back porch for a few minutes, closely followed by Pops. I take a moment to drink in the morning air. It’s not so humid today, and at this time in the morning, it’s perfect outside.
“I’m only going to say this once and then it’s done. Are you sure about Annabeth?”
“Yes, sir. I love her. Always have, always will. Life is too short not to be with someone you love, isn’t it?” He pats me on the back, looking out to the hay field.
“It is. Well, if you’re sure, then I’m happy for you, son.”
“Thanks, Pops.”
“Now, are you going to explain to me what Samantha was doing here last night?”
ANNABETH
I feel like a criminal, but I know I’m doing the right thing. Although, I thought I was doing the right thing when I left all those years ago, and look how that turned out…
I drive to the next town over, pull into the parking lot of the local bar… and wait. I’ve wrestled with my conscience so many times in the past few weeks, but every time I look at Maddox, I see it playing on his mind. He’s not sleeping at night, always tossing and turning. He watches Rae like a hawk whenever we go out, scanning the crowd for any sign of Samantha. He would do anything to keep his baby girl safe from harm, but it’s taking its toll.
We’ve spoken about kidney failure, prognosis, treatments, and donors. I would never push him, or make him feel bad about his decision. I completely understand his reasons, and in the end, it would be a difficult decision for any parent, even if they were on good terms—that’s what I’ve tried to stress to him on more than one occasion. I know his heart—he would never make this choice out of malice. If he could help her, without putting Rae at risk, I honestly believe he would. Just the idea Sam could die, leaving Rae with no chance to meet her in years to come, weighs so heavily on his shoulders.
I see a red Dodge Ram pull into the parking lot, and I know it’s her. I wait until she goes inside the bar, and take a few minutes to compose myself. My palms begin to sweat as I step out of the truck and make my way to the entrance. Every cell in my body is screaming at me to walk away—to run to Maddox as quick as I can, and tell him everything.
She’s sitting at a booth in the far corner of the bar, looking just as nefarious as I know her to be. I’ve made some questionable decisions in my life, and walking out on Maddox all those years ago was the worst one. Looking at her, I can’t wrap my head around how she could leave Rae—her flesh and blood.
I order a drink at the bar and head over to her, unable to mask the disdain I feel for her. “Samantha?”
“The infamous Annabeth Clark. I sure was surprised to hear from you. Does my husband know you’re here?” Her snide grin sticks in my craw.
“Ex-husband. And let’s face it, honey, he’s always been mine.”
“He was right… you are a bitch.” I know she’s trying to rile me, and I shouldn’t let it get to me, but I’m Southern, Goddammit!
“And you’re a cunt. Can we just get on with this?”
“You called me, sweetheart.”
I reluctantly sit across from her, our mere proximity to each other making me want to puke. My phone vibrates in my hand—it’s Maddox. A picture of him and Rae lights the display, their smiling faces pushing me to speak. “I’m a doctor.”
“Well, good for you.”
“Can you stop being a venomous shrew for two minutes and let me talk?” She shrugs her shoulders and it takes everything I have not to reach over and slap her stupid face. “I can help you. I’ve worked with some of the best specialists in the country. I can pull some strings and get you the treatment you need until a kidney becomes available.”
“What’s the catch?”
“You’re not as dumb as you look after all.” I take great delight in seeing her hands fist in frustration, her tacky acrylics digging into her palms. “You never contact Maddox or Rae ever again.”
“Are you that threatened by me?”
“No. I don’t give a shit whether you live or die. I know Maddox would never love you the way he loves me. But, unlike you, I love your little girl, and I want what’s best for her. No matter how much of a shitty mom you are, I want her to have the option to come find you when she’s older.”
“You just said I can’t contact them again.”
“Yes. You can’t. But if she feels she wants to know who you are, ten or twenty years from now, that’s her decision to make. She won’t have the option if you’re dead.”
“So, what? You swoop in and save me, and you get to be her new momma? I should just let you take my family?”
“You threw them away a long time ago. Can you honestly say you want to be in their lives? Would you have come back if you didn’t need something from Sally Rae?”
“That’s none of your goddamn business.”
“Fine.” I stand to leave, knowing she needs my help.
“Okay… I wouldn’t have come back. I wasn’t ready to be a mother. I never wanted kids.”
“Then why do you care if I want to be her momma? She deserves to be loved, and if you don’t want to do it, you shouldn’t begrudge her someone who wants to be a part of her life.”
“I don’t. I do grudge him getting everything he ever wanted.”
“I’ll make this easy for you then. You can attempt to come between Maddox and me, and probably die trying. Or, you can accept my help, leave us alone, and live. Your choice. Either way, I’m going to be with him, and I’m going to make damn sure you don’t harm Rae.”
“Have it your way. If you help me, I’ll go and never come back.”
“Then you’ll help me?”
“Yes. You have my word.”
“Why should I believe you?”
“Because, whether you want to admit it or not, you know Maddox and I have always loved each other, and we always will. I would do anything for him.”
“I’m gonna die choking on my own vomit if you keep spoutin’ horseshit.”
“Call me when you’ve spoken to him. Then we’ll discuss what happens next.” I don’t wait for another snarky reply, exiting the bar before I lose my nerve.
It’s been a few days since I met with Sam, and I can barely look at Maddox without wanting to confess my plan. A part of me is relieved I haven’t heard from her, the selfish side who wants more than anything to stay here with Maddox and Rae. I know if I go through with this there’s a chance he won’t forgive me. If I tell him now, he’ll stop me, but he might not give me the opportunity to explain after.
I’ve often questioned my childish logic at the age of eighteen, and I know I made the wrong decision back then. It’s only now, I realize I made the decision for the right reason. I believed with all my heart, if you love someone enough, you might have to give them up in pursuit of their best interests. That wasn’t the case when I left Maddox behind all those years ago. I was wrong—naïve to think a love like ours could be brushed aside and forgotten. I know he will think I’m doing the same thing now, but I have to have faith in us.
I head over to the ranch after work, but when I arrive, there is no sign of Maddox, and Jax is busy playing with Rae. “Hey. Where’s Mad?”
“Up at the old barn. He’ll be back soon.”
