by Sienna Parks
“Start talking.” I pace the barn like a caged animal. The right words escape me.
“Remember I told you I lost a patient? Jennifer.”
“Yes.”
“She died because we didn’t find her a donor heart. I saw what it did to her family. I didn’t want the same thing to happen to you and Rae.”
“What did you do, Annabeth?”
“You need to know, I love Rae, and I only wanted what’s best for her.” His arm reaches out to stop me pacing, pulling me toward him. “I left to help Sam.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I couldn’t let you live with the guilt. You don’t deserve that. She put you in an impossible position, Mad. You did the right thing… but as many times as I told you, I could see it in your eyes, every time you looked a Rae. I thought if I could help her, then you wouldn’t have her death on your conscience, and Rae would have the option to meet her mom when she’s older.”
“What makes you think I want Sam to be a part of Rae’s life?”
“I know you, Mad. If she came to you ten years from now, wanting to know her mom, you would move heaven and earth for her. It would destroy you to tell her the possibility had been taken away from her, because of a decision you made.”
“I did what I thought was best for Rae. I couldn’t risk her life.”
“I know that. But, I couldn’t risk your conscience. Like I said, I think you made the right decision, but I knew you would struggle with it, and I had the ability to help ease your burden.”
“Why couldn’t you tell me?”
“Would you have let me do it if I’d told you? Be honest.” He pauses for a moment, and I can see his internal struggle.
“Of course, I wouldn’t have let you. Why would I willingly let Sam come between us?”
“If you can’t forgive me, she wins. I made her promise in exchange for my help, she would never bother you or Rae again.”
“The letter…”
“Yes. The night I left, she authorized her attorney to send it. I couldn’t tell you. You would have stopped me, and you would have lived with this impossible situation.”
“Because it was my choice to make. Not yours. You had no right to go behind my back.” My stomach churns, terrified I’m going to lose him all over again.
“I wanted to protect you… and Rae.”
“I don’t get it, A.B. Why would you help Sam, when you were getting so close to Rae?”
“Because I don’t want to replace an absent, or worse, dead mom. I want to earn my place in her life. Being a mother is DNA, but being a mommy is so much more. I want to be a part of your lives, on my own merit… not because I ignored the needs of a dying woman. I took an oath to do no harm. Doing nothing, would do more harm than any of us could handle.” His eyes soften as I take a step closer.
“I had to do this for you, and for me. I was so messed up after I lost Jennifer. I had the means to stop someone else from losing their life because they were waiting for a miracle.”
“What happened?”
“I got her into a treatment facility in New York. One of the top specialists is a friend of mine. She didn’t wait around to hear her options. Ignorance would have killed her. Patients can live for years with the right treatment, and hopefully in that time, a kidney match becomes available. Sam hadn’t been having any treatments, so she was in poor health when she came looking for Rae.”
“Where is she now?”
“She’s still in New York. I thought I might have to stay there for years, knowing I wouldn’t be able to return to you and Rae. Don’t think for a minute I wasn’t terrified I would be too late, but Jax told me you were considering getting tested as a donor. I knew you wouldn’t be a match.”
“Is she worth that sacrifice?”
“You’re worth the sacrifice. I love you more than anything in this world, Mad.”
“So much that you would leave me, again? Give up everything we have?”
“If it meant you and Rae were safe and happy.”
“How the fuck are we supposed to be happy without you?” A glimmer of hope appears in the darkness.
“I’m right here, asking you to believe me. I’m never going anywhere ever again.”
“How can I trust you?” I take his hand in mine, the warmth of his skin giving me the strength to fight.
“Because I put my trust in you. I put my faith in us. I left, knowing our love is strong enough to withstand any storm. You’re it for me, Mad. I did what I had to do. Sam would always have been in the background—dead or alive. Can’t you see that? I want a fresh start for us. A chance to build a life and a family together. Please, give me one last chance.”
“How is Sam now?”
“We got our miracle, Mad. She got a living donor kidney. She’s recovering well.” I can feel his relief and see it in the slump of his shoulders. “The odds of her getting a match so quickly, were astronomical. I have to believe the universe is finally giving you and me the chance we deserve. I could have been stuck there for years, and you know she never would have let me come back to you. This was a sign, Maddox. That you and I are meant to be.”
“I don’t believe in that shit. You do what you do, and live with the consequences.”
“I own my mistakes. But, this wasn’t one. I did the right thing. I’m a doctor. I save lives. That’s what I signed up for. I ensured Rae never had to live with the knowledge that her kidney could have saved her mother’s life. I would do it again. I want to build a life with you, but, if you can’t forgive me for loving you, then so be it. One day maybe you’ll understand I did this for you.”
I turn on my heels and walk away, praying he’ll stop me—but he doesn’t. Defeated and heartbroken, I mount my horse, and head for the stables. I ride as hard and as fast as I can, the sun beating down on me as I unleash all the pent-up frustration and despair I’ve been holding onto. Tears flow freely as I face the prospect of a new path ahead. One without Maddox and Sally Rae.
As the houses appear on the horizon, I hear an excruciating shriek pierce the silence. It takes me a moment to realize it’s coming from me. I’ve lost everything I ever wanted. Selfless or selfish, it doesn’t matter now. I’ve lost them. The man I love, and the daughter I’ll never have.
“A.B.!” I hear his voice in the distance. It builds in a crescendo—louder, closer, ending in a cacophony of sound. My name falling from his lips, over and over again. Artemis comes galloping toward me, a stallion riding into battle. “A.B., are you okay?” Within minutes he pulls up alongside me out of breath, his features tortured as he looks me up and down. “I heard you screaming. I thought something terrible had happened. I thought I was going to die of fear.” I wipe the tears from my eyes, unable to look at him.
“Something terrible did happen.”
“What? Do you need an ambulance? Are you hurt?”
“Physically, I’m okay. But, I don’t know how to move on. I’ve loved you since I can remember, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. How do I let you go?”
“You don’t. That’s what I was coming to tell you. I was wrong, stubborn, and hurt. But, dammit, A.B., I can’t quit loving you. Never did. Never will. You’re the one I want to grow old with.” He leans over and grabs my head, pulling me toward him. His lips find mine in a furious and desperate kiss. He lifts me from my horse with ease, settling me in his lap, before licking the seam of my lips with his tongue. Begging for permission, which I give freely. “Don’t ever leave me again. I won’t survive it.”
“I’m not going anywhere. This is for keeps, Mad. It almost killed me to risk it all. I can’t do it again.” I wrap my arms around his neck, my legs straddling him. “I love you.”
“Tell me again.” I know what he’s asking.
“I’m not going anywhere. Here is where I want to be… always.” As the harsh Texas sun warms our flesh, Maddox and I find a heat—a spark—that only we share. My body is alive with sensation, our passion taking over. I fight to undo his b
uckle, pushing my hand down into his jeans until I feel his cock. Rock-hard and so fucking big. In the middle of the field, with no one around for miles, he follows my lead, pushing my dress up around my waist, before pulling my panties to the side, exposing my pussy to the warm breeze. His fingers glide over my slick entrance.
“You’re so fucking wet for me.”
“Fuck me, Mad. I need you.” Without another word, he positions himself, his bare cock teasing my clit before sliding me down the length of his shaft. I’ve never felt so full… so consumed.
“A.B., you feel so fucking good. So tight. Ride me, darlin’.” I fist my hands in his hair, before circling my hips in a slow, sensual fuck. I begin to grind, his arms holding me steady as I buck wildly against him. It’s primal—animalistic. Artemis moves beneath us, but I can’t bring myself to stop.
“Oh, my God. I’m so close.”
“I’ve got you. Let go, darlin’.” I feel the leather of the reins in his hands, foreign against my skin, and unbelievably erotic. I scream his name, a litany of worship as I leap off the ledge and into the abyss of ecstasy, taking Maddox with me. He bites my shoulder as he finds his release, our souls connected as we come together with desperate desire.
We ride wave after wave of pleasure until we can barely breathe. I slump against his chest, covered in a sheen of sweat. Stroking my hair with one hand, he guides Artemis back to the stable, my horse following behind. My energy drains as my spirit soars. Back in Mad’s arms, I finally feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be.
I’m finally home.
MADDOX
My life is finally falling into place. A.B. and I found our way back to each other, when I felt like all hope was lost. I still can’t believe she risked everything for us. I spent so much time being angry at her, refusing to answer her calls and texts. I could have saved us both the heartache, if I’d had a modicum of faith in our relationship.
I couldn’t bring myself to face her when she first got back. I knew the moment I heard what she had to say, I’d cave. I didn’t want to appear weak. It wasn’t until she walked away, I realized how stupid I was being. Every fiber of my being longs for her. Denying that would have been the biggest mistake of my life. Like the wild mustangs on this ranch… sometimes you have to be broken in order to reach your full potential.
I spent so many years just existing, coasting along with no direction. I’d become the victim of my own life. It’s not about my mother, Sam, or A.B. The way I live my life, and let my experiences shape the man I want to be—that’s on me. I have control over how I react to situations that come my way. I had to make a conscious choice to believe in A.B. and welcome her back into our lives. That’s not weakness. It’s the opposite. Willingness to forgive another person’s mistakes, and restore your faith in them, is no small feat. It takes strength to stand by your convictions. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I will never love someone else the way I love Annabeth. She’s worth the effort, the heartache, and the risk. Knowing that is liberating.
We’ve been talking about the future. Making plans, and dreaming of all the possibilities. Honesty is a prerequisite. There can’t be any more secrets between us. I know she had her reasons when she left to help Samantha, but I won’t put myself or Rae in a position like that again. Sally Rae has been slow to warm back up to A.B., and I know they’re both hurting right now. For a small child, Rae is wise beyond her years. She is the center of my world, and I’m hers. She takes after me in so many ways, one of which is her ferocity to protect what’s hers.
A.B. is trying her best to be patient, and work to win back Rae’s trust, but I can see it’s taking its toll on her. She loves my baby girl in such a maternal way, and it hurts her heart to have distance between them. Today, we’re all going to the rodeo. This is the first time I’ve been since I quit, and I want to share that time in my life with my two favorite women. Jax and the infamous girl he’s been chasing are coming with us. Should be an interesting day all round. I’m hoping the new sights and sounds will help Rae and A.B. find their way back to the fun and loving relationship they had before.
“Everyone is staring at you, man. This is so weird.” As we weave in and out of the crowds, Jax is stunned by the recognition I get from every passerby. I may have been gone from the circuit for a few years, but diehard rodeo fans still remember my reign.
OMG! You’re Maddox ‘Hail Mary’ Hale.
Would you mind signing my bra?
Can I take a selfie with you?
Why did you quit?
Is it true you had a drug problem?
The questions are relentless, and when a local reporter spies me at the carnival, mayhem ensues. Our quiet party of five, becomes a whirlwind of cameras, snapping at will. A crowd forming around us. I scoop Rae up into my arms and grab A.B. by the hand. Jax makes a pathway through the sea of bodies, flanking me to keep Rae from being photographed.
We make our way into the stadium, finding a security guard to help us lose the reporters. The moment we’re behind closed doors, Rae bursts into tears. “Daddy, I don’t wike it here.” She buries her head in my chest.
“I’m sorry, sunshine. I didn’t think this would be a problem.” The security guard disappears, but returns five minutes later.
“Excuse me, Mr. Hale. Word has obviously spread that you’re here. The commentators are asking if you wouldn’t mind giving them few minutes of your time?” I look to A.B., and she’s smiling from ear to ear.
“Go. We can wait here for you. The show doesn’t start for a while.” She holds her arms out for Rae.
“Do you want to stay with me, Rae? Daddy will be back shortly.” Rae burrows further into the crook of my arm.
“No.” My heart sinks, but I’m not going to force it.
“Okay. I’ll stay here. No big deal.”
“Rae, come to Uncle Jax.” She instantly lunges out of my grasp and into his arms.
“Wove you Uncle Jax. I stay with you.” A.B. is fighting back tears as she watches Rae snuggling in with Jax. I wrap my arm around her shoulder.
“Why don’t you come with me? Jax will be fine here.” Before she can answer, Rae starts shouting at me.
“Daddy, no. Docor not go with you. She’s mean. I want to come with you.”
“Sally Rae Hale. Why would you say something like that? A.B. has never been anything other than sweet and kind to you.”
“She was mean to you. She went away and it made you sad. I don’t wike when Daddy is blue.” I turn to the security guard, asking him to give us a few minutes alone. Jax follows him out with his date close at his side. She seems nice enough. Quiet. She hasn’t said two words to me all day—doesn’t really seem like Jax’s type. I’ve noticed her looking at me, staring a little too long to be comfortable.
A.B. heads for the door, but I stop her before she leaves. “You should stay for this.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re not. This involves you.” Rae pouts at me, folding her arms over her chest.
“Rae. I know I wasn’t fun to be around when A.B. was gone, but she had her reasons. Sometimes adults need to do stuff, even when they don’t want to, and that’s what happened with A.B. Remember when she fixed your arm?” She nods slowly. “Well, she had to do that for someone else, because she’s a doctor. She saved that person’s life. So, we can’t be super upset, can we?”
“But, Daddy. It made you and me sad.”
“I know, baby. But if we hadn’t let her go for a little while, another family would have lost someone they love, forever. She’s back now, and isn’t going anywhere.” Her eyes switch between me and A.B.
“Is you sure? I not want her to weave again. It made my tummy feel bad.” I look to A.B., her eyes glassy with unshed tears.
“I promise, sunshine.”
“Okay.” She hugs me tight, before running into A.B.’s arms.
“I missed you, Docor A.B. You not weave again.” Annabeth wraps her arms around Rae, stroking her hair with a
gentle touch. I watch with reverence as they soak in this moment together.
“You’re stuck with me. You’re my Rae of sunshine.”
“You can go now, Daddy. I have A.B.” I can’t help but laugh at how easily her innocence allows her to trust without question. Being able to ask a question, and accept the answer as gospel truth. What a gift.
A.B. encourages me to go and do the interview. Although we weren’t in contact with each other when this was a part of my daily life, she knows me. She understands how much all of this meant to me, and just this small show of support… is overwhelming. I was never able to share all the accolades and trophies with anyone close to me. In all honesty, it was a lonely time in my life. I think that’s why Sam and I ended up together in the first place.
“I won’t be long. You girls behave.”
“We will.” They say in unison. These two are going to gang up on me… I can see it already.
Welcome to the Houston Rodeo! Tonight, we have an unexpected guest with us, and I know y’all are going to be super excited to see him back. Please, give a warm welcome to Maddox ‘Hail Mary’ Hale… Bronc Riding Champion four years running, and the best homegrown Texas rider we’ve ever seen.
The roar of the crowd is like an electric shock coursing through every cell in my body. I’ve missed the atmosphere, the anticipation. It was always such a high for me, like a rush of adrenaline to the heart. Thousands of strangers, chanting my name.
“So, tell us. Everyone is dying to know. Why did you retire when you were at your peak?”
“First of all, thanks for having me here tonight. I did hear the rumors, but the truth is I became a dad, and I didn’t want to be on the road all the time.”
“Wow. Was that the girl you were pictured with earlier today?”
“Yes. She’s about to turn four. Best thing I ever did.”
“And is there a Mrs. Hale?” I wasn’t prepared for this. I thought I was going to have a quiet day, not answer the most personal questions imaginable for a host of thousands.
“Not at the moment. I was married for a brief period of time, but we went our separate ways, and I’ve been raising my baby girl back in my hometown for the past few years.”
