by Sienna Parks
“What? I just bought them a drink. Ain’t a crime in the state of Texas as far as I’m aware.” With a smile and a wave, they ask us to join them. “Come on. They won’t bite.”
“The one on the left looks like she might. I just wanted a quiet drink with my best friend. Is that too much to ask?”
“Yes. You’re miserable. I’m miserable and I haven’t even gotten laid for my troubles. Come on, man. One drink.”
“Fine.” The moment we sit, these girls are like flies on shit. Thankfully the scarier of the two is all over Jax. I get the sense the one I’m talking to is a little embarrassed.
“Sorry about her. She’s just gone through a bad breakup. She’s not normally this…”
“Forward?” I interject.
“I was going to say slutty, but let’s go with your observation.” It’s the first time I’ve laughed since A.B. left.
“I get it. Breakups are rough.”
“Sounds like you know what you’re talking about. What’s her name?” I scrub my hand over the scruff of my jaw.
“That obvious?”
“Yeah.”
“Her name is Annabeth.” She reaches over, resting her hand on my arm.
“I’m sorry. You know what they say… best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.” I signal to the bartender for another round of drinks. It’s a good excuse to extricate my arm from her grasp.
“Is that your expert opinion?” She smiles back at me, trying too hard to be sexy. Don’t get me wrong, she’s hot. Smoking actually—when I was on the circuit, I would have jumped her without hesitation.
“Why do you look familiar to me? Are you from here?”
“No. Just passing through. Maybe I just have one of those faces.” I can see the penny drop.
“You’re Maddox ‘Hail Mary’ Hale.” Before I get a chance to lie through my teeth, Jax slaps my back in confirmation.
“He sure is… the one and only.” With a shit-eating grin, he grabs our drinks and heads for a booth in the darkest corner he can find.
The next few hours are a blur of shots, beer, and stories of my wilder days. The girls lap it up, and I must admit, it’s nice to remember a time when people looked up to me. They admired my success. I guess it doesn’t mean much to be revered by strangers, but after everything that happened with A.B., it’s nice to feel wanted for a change.
Jax is blind drunk by the time the four of us stumble out of the bar. “Where to next, party people?”
“There’s a small club a few blocks from here. Let’s go.” The girls are bouncing, ready to dance the night away. Jax snakes his arm around the leggy blonde, leaving me to walk with… shit, I can’t even remember her name.
“Fuck. What’s your name again?”
“JoAnn. Wow, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.” For a moment, I think I’ve really offended her, but she can’t keep a straight face. “I’m only teasing. Why so serious?” She mimics Heath Ledger’s scary as fuck Joker from The Dark Knight.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine. You can make it up to me on the dance floor.” She gives me a sly wink, before wrapping my arm around her shoulder and following her friend. We walk the rest of the way in silence, my head spinning from the alcohol. Jax is stumbling ten paces ahead, laughing and shouting the entire time.
By the time we reach our destination, my thoughts are beginning to clear, and the pretty girl beside me gives me a sense of unease. As we approach the door, she drags me off into a nearby park, the tree-lined street providing just enough privacy for her to make a move. Her lips find mine, but even in my drunken state, I can’t do this. I take a step back, pulling away from her kiss.
“I can’t do this.” She persists, running her hand down my stomach, and over my crotch.
“Yes, you can. It’s just a little fun. I want you to ride me like you do those wild horses. Come on, Maddox Hale. Show me what you got.” I duck her advances, stepping back a second time.
“I’m not doing this. You’re hot, but…”
“But what?”
“But… I’m in love with someone.”
“God. I’m not asking you to marry me. Lighten up.”
“That’s just the thing… I don’t want to lighten up. I want her. I want the heavy stuff. The marriage, the kids, and the white picket fence.”
“I thought you were the bad boy of bronc riding?”
“I was. But, now I’m a single dad, who braids hair, has tea parties with teddy bears, and is head over heels for his high school sweetheart.”
“Well, fuck me sideways and call me Judy. If that doesn’t make you even hotter, you jackass!” I can’t help but laugh.
“Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”
“Don’t apologize. The place across the street has coffee. You want to go grab a cup and tell me what happened?”
“I’m not going to saddle you with my tales of woe.”
“I’ve got nowhere to be. Come on, Daddy.” We go in search of Jax and the blonde, who I now know is called Sarah, only to find Jax snoozing on a park bench. I kick his foot to wake him.
“What the hell?” Sarah doesn’t look happy, her hands folded over her chest.
“Your asshole friend here can’t shut up about some other girl. Come on, JoAnn. Let’s go.” She storms off, JoAnn following quickly behind, shooting me an apologetic smile. I take a seat next to Jax.
“When did we become such pussies?” He murmurs something about his mystery girl, before slumping back onto the bench. I pull him up, dragging him in the direction of our hotel. “Fuck, I miss A.B.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Let’s get you to the hotel.” He nods in agreement, his eyes rolling back in his head.
“I love you, man. A.B.’s an idiot.”
“Love you, too, bro. You’re an idiot.”
I drop Jax at home before heading back to the ranch. He’s nursing a nasty hangover today. I’m feeling rough myself, but at least I made it through the market this morning. I left Jax at the hotel, knowing he wouldn’t have been able to stand the smell of horses in his state.
All I want to do is get home to Rae, and sleep in my own bed. As soon as I pull up in the driveway, my baby girl is out the door, running to greet me. “Daddy! Daddy! I missed you.” I lift her into my arms, taking a moment to drink in the sweet smell of her hair.
“I missed you, too, sunshine. Were you good for Pops?”
“Yes. We fed the chickens, made cookies, and I painted you a picture.”
“Wow. You’ve been a busy little bee.”
“I’m not a bee, Daddy. I’m a girl.”
“Silly me. Buzz, buzz, buzz.” She shrieks in delight, and my eardrums protest after last night’s escapades. “Oh, geez. Daddy has a headache. No more screaming, okay?”
“Yes, Daddy. Hurry. My picture is a surprise! I’m not allowed to tell you it’s a unicorn.”
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Sally Rae.”
“I know!” She skips up the steps and into the house. All my self-pitying woes fade into the background as I marvel at how amazing my daughter is. I’m one lucky son of a bitch.
We play for hours, before snuggling up in Rae’s room with a storybook and her favorite teddy. I’m exhausted after last night, and drift off with the sound of Rae’s soft, even breaths. It’s dark outside by the time I wake up, unaware of what roused me from my peaceful sleep. A second knock on the door has me on high alert. I glance at my watch—it’s ten o’clock at night. Nothing good ever comes from a phone call, or a knock on the door after 8:00 p.m.
I rub my eyes, adjusting to the light in the hallway, before quickly making my way to the door. I don’t want Rae being woken up at this time. I’d never get her back to sleep. It’s too dark to see who’s out there from the window, so I grab my Louisville Slugger from the closet before opening the door.
“What the ever-loving fuck?” My heart hammers against my rib cage as I take in the sigh
t of the unexpected visitor standing in the doorway.
She’s back.
ANNABETH
“You didn’t answer a single one of my messages.” I can see the whirlwind of emotions in his eyes, fighting for control.
“I’m the one in the wrong here? What do you want, Annabeth? It’s ten o’clock at night.”
“I want to explain.”
“Don’t you think it’s a bit late for that now? Literally, and figuratively. The time to explain was before you left.”
“I promise it will all make sense.” His face is gaunt. The evidence of many sleepless nights, apparent in the planes of his features.
“I can’t do this, A.B. Not just now. If you care for me at all, please leave.” The defeat in his voice is something I’ve never heard before, and it scares me. Maybe I’m too late.
“I’m not going to force you to talk to me, Mad. I know you need time, but you have to know I’m never leaving again.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
“I did all of this for you… and for Rae.” Her name sparks anger. His brow furrowed as his gaze locks with mine.
“If you loved my daughter, you wouldn’t have left without a trace. She thought you were dead. That you’d gone to be with her granddaddy. Do you know how hard it was to tell her I had no idea why you left? How difficult it was to watch her confusion? She thought she’d done something wrong… that she wasn’t enough.” Tears trickle down my cheek. The idea of hurting her in any way is abhorrent to me.
“I do love her, Mad. I love you. Here… with you and Rae, is where I want to be.”
“I need you to go.” He closes the door, leaving me standing on the porch… lost and alone. This can’t be how our story ends. I won’t let that happen. I don’t care how long it takes, I’m going to prove to him I’m here to stay—that I’m not going to leave, and he can trust me.
I’ve waited as long as I can. Getting out of bed in the morning feels like a mammoth task. Maddox hasn’t reached out to me since I came back. I wanted to let him cool off and speak to me when he was ready, but it seems like my chance to make things right is slipping through my fingers. Today I’m going to talk to Jax, and see if he can help me get through to Mad. We’ve been in contact since the day I left, but I couldn’t tell him what was happening. It wouldn’t have been fair to expect him to keep something like that a secret from his best friend. Now, I need his help, if I have any hope of even getting in the same room as Mad.
I’ve been sorting the sugar packets on the table at Ellen’s for fifteen minutes when he arrives. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“We’re friends, A.B. I’m in your corner right now. He’s a miserable motherfucker without you.” My heart skips a beat, knowing Mad has felt my absence.
“But, he still won’t talk to me.” Jax slides into the booth, signaling to Ellen for his usual breakfast.
“Can you blame him? You haven’t even tried to explain what happened. I know he didn’t answer your calls when you left, but why aren’t you camped out on the porch?”
“I went straight to the ranch from the airport. He made it pretty clear he didn’t want to hear what I have to say.”
“So? Don’t take no for an answer.”
“I was giving him space.”
“Well, enough already. He’s unhappy, you’re unhappy. Rae misses you. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I did it for them… because I love them.” The thought of how much pain I’ve caused, is a dagger to my heart.
“Really? That sounds like a lame excuse. I’ve told him to hear you out, but it’s hard to make him listen when no one has any idea what you were doing all that time.”
“I left to help Sam.” I watch as his anger descends like a black cloud.
“Start talking, A.B. I wouldn’t piss on that bitch if she were on fire. Why the hell would you choose to help her?”
“You saw how much Mad was struggling with the thought that he would be responsible in some way if Sam died. I sat up talking about it with him, night after night. He was so worried that Rae would resent him when she’s old enough to understand. He made the decision not to let her be a donor, and no matter how much I tried to reassure him, I could see it was killing him.”
“What did you do, A.B.?”
“I made some calls and got her in treatment with the top specialist in New York.”
“And what do you get out of it?”
“I made a deal with her. The letter Maddox got after she disappeared again was because of our arrangement. I told her I would help her get treatment and find a donor, and in return, she agreed never to contact Maddox or Rae again.”
“Holy fuck!”
“Now you see why I couldn’t tell him? He wouldn’t have let me go through with it. He and Rae have been through enough. I didn’t want him to carry the burden of his decision around with him for the rest of his life.”
“But you risked losing him.”
“Yes. I love him, and I love Rae. I wanted her to have the option to meet her mom and know where she came from. I couldn’t bear the thought of her having that taken away. I wouldn’t give Sam the satisfaction of dying and leaving Maddox to drown in misplaced guilt. I’d rather lose him than watch him suffer.”
“A.B… I don’t know what to say.” He reaches for my hand across the table—his show of support is a much-needed balm to soothe my soul.
“Say you’ll help me get him back.”
“Tell me what you need me to do.” We sit for hours, talking over every aspect of the past two months. I start at the beginning and explain everything. It feels so good to tell someone. I’ve been carrying this weight around this whole time, and I didn’t realize just how much it was crushing me. Jax fills me in on what’s been happening here. It’s not easy to hear how badly my actions have affected not only Maddox, but Rae as well. I can only hope and pray knowing the truth will restore Mad’s faith in me.
Today is D-Day. Jax has arranged to get Pops and Rae off the ranch, leaving Maddox alone. I’m going to make him listen to me. Jax text me a little while ago, to say Mad is heading up to the barn renovation, on the far side of Mustang. There’s nowhere for him to run.
When I pull into the driveway, my stomach is churning with anticipation. I haven’t laid eyes on Maddox since the night I came back—the memory of his rejection burned into my brain. I take a few minutes to compose myself before heading for the stables. There’s a horse, saddled and ready for me to ride. Jax has been so supportive since I told him everything. I’m lucky to have him in my corner.
As I ride out into the open field, my heart gallops toward Maddox—to my future.
The sun splits the sky, the afternoon heat warm on my back, as I make the once familiar journey to the old barn. Maddox and I used to sneak up here when we were in high school, far from the prying eyes of our families. I lost my virginity in that barn, on a rare, cold Texas night. Maddox surprised me with a picnic and blankets by candlelight. It was a magical time in our lives, exploring so many firsts together. Even back then, Mad could take my breath away.
As the barn comes into view, I’m flooded by hundreds of fond memories. This place was the backdrop for my childhood. It looks different now—completely refurbished—but it remains a prominent reminder of laughter and love. I can see Artemis running freely in the adjacent field. Strong and fierce, just like his rider.
I slow my horse to a trot, anxious not to alert Maddox to my arrival. A part of me wants to turn and run, the gravity of the situation dawning on me, as I get closer and closer to the truth. This is a moment that will define the rest of my life. There’s a strong possibility Mad isn’t going to forgive me for what I’ve done. If that’s the case, then all my hopes and dreams will be dashed in a single second.
A swarm of hostile bees awaken in the pit of my stomach, and I can only pray I’ll keep my breakfast down. I let my horse into the paddock, and take a few deep breaths. I can hear Maddox in the barn. My heart is pounding so hard and m
y palms are clammy. The sight of Maddox, shirtless and working up a sweat only serves to intensify my nerves.
“Mad…” His body stiffens at the sound of my voice, his gaze zeroing in on me like a laser beam. He’s lost for words, pain and fear etched in his brow. I take a moment to compose myself before I continue. “I’m so sorry… for everything.” His head drops in defeat.
“Sorry? Do you really think an apology is going to make what you did any better?”
“No. I just need you to give me five minutes of your time. I want to tell you what happened.”
“You want to tell me… it’s always about what you want. Did you once stop and think about what I want?”
“I did all of this for you, and for Rae. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. It’s not the same as when we were kids, Mad.” I can feel the tension radiating off him in waves, filling the space around us. It’s hard to breathe—the air being sucked out of me as I steel myself for battle.
“Wow. You’re delusional if you think leaving us was anything but selfish and cruel.” I’m suddenly overcome with righteous indignation.
“If you were brave enough to listen to me…”
“Brave? You don’t know the first thing about it. You run the second things get uncomfortable for you. Courage is about standing up for what you want, even if it’s hard.”
“Now, wait just a goddamn minute, Maddox Hale. I came here to tell you what happened, so just shut up and listen to me.” He’s dumbfounded by my candor. I walk over to where he stands, hands fisted at his sides—the rise and fall of his chest, betraying his calm exterior. “I couldn’t bear seeing how much you were struggling with the decision not to help Samantha.”
“What the fuck does she have to do with anything? You got spooked because my ex came back into town? If you’d stuck around long enough, you would know she’s gone… for good.”
“I know.”
“What do you mean, you know?”
“I’m the reason she left.” He strides toward me, anger shrouding him.
