“H-how did you know?”
“Braedan…told me,” she replied. “He’s an information broker; there isn’t anything he can’t procure or fix. He’s had information on us for quite some time. It wasn’t until recently that he felt compelled to do something with the information and make sure it was…silenced.” She paused to quickly swipe away her tears before they threatened to ruin her beautiful makeup. “Nothing is more important to your father and me than you. If ever I’m doing something that’s becoming a burden to you, tell me, Keaton. While the senate race is my dream, I would give up everything to protect you.”
Tears trickled down my cheeks. “I don’t want to be responsible for taking away your dreams. I don’t want Noah to win. If you give up your campaign, he will. He’s stolen enough. Too much. If I have to face what I ran away from to help you get what you’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, I can do that. I want you to have this, Mom.”
“You. Your father…our family is all I’ve dreamt about having as a little girl.” She leaned back in her chair and averted her eyes. “I have…no excuse for what I did to your father. I made a mistake because lust became easier. Living with the guilt is far from easy. Your father and I should’ve sought solace in one another, and we didn’t. We were so broken up over you, we… Your father knows about my indiscretion, and we’re trying our best to make things work. We’ll be okay, eventually, Keaton.”
My eyelids began to threaten my vision, becoming too heavy to hold up. “I think…the medication is kicking in. If he’s here, can you send Braedan in before I fall asleep? I’d like to thank him.”
“Of course. I’ll be here all night.” She stood and kissed my forehead.
Struggling and grinding my teeth through the cutting tenderness emanating from every part of me, I pulled on the safety bars to lay sideways and face the window.
Hearing him enter, my heart picked up a swifter pace. The physical and emotional feeling he increasingly evoked bled profusely, overwhelming my anguish.
“Keaton…your mother said you wanted to see me?”
At one time, it used to be so easy to follow my mother’s mantra: smile and shield the outside world from discovering my true mood. My seams had been torn open and my emotions poured out of me at an intemperate rate. I had rediscovered my strength at Rebirth, only to have it dissolved after I escaped. Noah’s expert manipulation over me left me shredded.
“Can I ask you for something?” I remained still while keeping my eyes closed.
“Anything.”
“Can you hold me until I fall asleep?”
The air became still. I immediately regretted asking him to do what he might’ve deemed inappropriate.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. I…don’t know why, but I feel like I need this. It’s really crazy if you knew all the things that happened to me and how I came to Rebirth.” Taking a breath, I looked at the window, barely able to discern his reflection from the small peak I had between the pastel curtains. I only caught half of his silhouette, clad in a dark vested-suit. The sleeves of his collared shirt were rolled up, giving small peeks of his strong and defined forearms. “Maybe it’s because for the first time in a very long time, you made me feel something contrary to what always fills my head. Maybe it’s because when I shut down the part of me someone else tried to destroy, it made things worse.”
The peak of the half of his body disappeared from the window’s reflection. Clothing rustled, and the bed bowed. He slid into the space behind me.
The scent of him permeated my senses, easing my troubles a little more. He was my medicine, soothing me in a way the IV had failed. A hand moved across my torso and pressed down on my sternum. His breath whirled around my neck as he rested his head on my pillow.
“Thank you.” I clung to his hand, slipping my fingers into the spaces between his fingers.
“There is no need to thank me.” His soft voice with a tinge of grit tickled my nape. "Nor do you ever need to feel ashamed.”
“Braedan,” I spoke with very little volume. My energy was null. Much of it was expended to prevent myself from breaking down. “I have every reason to be ashamed.”
“I hope, somehow, you can begin to see things differently.” He held my hand firmly and with the other, reached up to stroke the hair falling into my face.
I sank deeper into everything he awakened. Safety. Kindness. Stillness.
“Why won’t you open your eyes and look at me, Keaton?”
With my eyes open, I never saw the truth until it was too late. I hoped that if I did the opposite, I would see and feel what was genuine like I did the night everything changed for me. “Because I see better when I’m blind, and right now, I see someone who might save me every time I fall.”
“This will be the last time you fall.” He swept one side of my long hair over my shoulder. “I’m going to ask you the question I know others have posed to you”—his whisper tickled my ear—“and this time, I want you to answer it truthfully: Why did you stay with him when you had resources to leave?”
Without a second of thought, I told my truth. “Because I deserved it. Because I’m the reason Phoebe, Reese, and Jeff are dead. My stupid actions caused their deaths. And for a while, I liked the way Noah punished me.”
His sigh skirted down my neck, bringing about a painful chill. “You’re done punishing yourself and letting others do it for you. Let me bear the burden of all the weight you’re carrying.” He stopped stroking my hair. His soft lips nearly touched my ear. “Give it all to me.”
Never one to trust so easily, I believed every word. I wanted to believe in someone or something desperately. In that minute, he was the safe light in a place I once thought to be permanently shrouded with pitch-black pledges of constant suffering.
The anger, hatred, and sadness I kept deep within the recesses of my being were released. I cried into my pillow to silence the volume.
His arms held me firmly but carefully affirming what I hoped would become my new reality.
IN THE MORNING, I woke to my mother fussing over me and making sure I awoke to eat the breakfast she bought me from her favorite restaurant for brunch. Braedan was gone, but shortly before his absence, he’d left a beautiful bouquet of pristine, thornless yellow roses kissed with dashes of red in a gold-brushed glass vase. My mother gladly read the note he left:
When you’re ready to release it all, call me.
He promised me freedom when my prison sentence was up, but I didn’t so easily believe I’d ever feel it again. Any place with him was a prison.
-THE SECT
It would be the first time I had ventured out of the house in several weeks. Sonja invited me to spend some time with her at the local soup kitchen, helping the staff serve the homeless. It should’ve been a difficult place to return to because of what happened last time I was there. Oddly, I found it soothing.
I embarked on the process of facing my fears. While my steps were slow and cautious, it was the first step in finding myself again.
Sonja and I never spoke of what happened at the dinner weeks ago with Noah. I asked her once about Nathan and Brandy. I’d only been able to have phone conversations with the two of them during my recuperation period. I stressed my desire to see them with Sonja and she quickly changed the subject.
During one of her television interviews, my mother swayed the media attention back to her by stating that I was away on a sabbatical.
Braedan must’ve had stronger connections than Noah could ever obtain, because no word of what really happened to me, nor the fact that Noah had a warrant out for his arrest on domestic battery charges, made it into the press. Braedan texted me every night with the same question:
Are you all right?
My answer was always the same:
I’m getting there.
It was the extent of our communication.
Mentally, I was far from okay.
No matter how many times my thumb hovered ov
er the name Braedan in my contacts, I was never able to initiate the call. My shame was a heavy dark blanket, keeping me wrapped up in its misery.
During the times I was awake, I’d usually swallow down enough pain medication to ensure I was barely conscious.
TWO MEN IN PLAIN dress clothes were stationed in strategic areas to watch over me while I enjoyed the sights and scenes of a park that used to mean so much to me. The man who shaped much of my life in such a short time, Jeff, used to sleep on the same bench in Franklin Square that I sat upon.
I scanned the horizon for someone to chat up and bring me to a better place than the one I’d been stuck in when I was alone.
A woman in tattered clothes, dragging a green duffel bag behind her, captured my attention. She rummaged through the garbage cans, looking for something useful.
I glanced down at my untouched sandwich and placed it back in the brown paper bag, intending to give it to her. The closer I came to her, the more her features cleared. It was the woman who taught me how to hide my femininity while I lived on the streets with my best friend, Jeff.
“Harley?”
She froze as though she thought I might’ve intended to harm her. A glint of recognition filled her green eyes when she saw me. Her mouth opened and she began to scream at me while walking backward. Only a few people in the park glanced at us, but her behavior called the attention of the men tasked with protecting me. Afraid they would accost her, I walked away. Turning my back on her, I shook my head at them, directing them to stand down. I glanced over my shoulder, watching Harley amble in the opposite direction.
The words she screamed at me couldn’t be mistaken: “Not one of us anymore.”
As I walked back to where my car was parked, I picked up my phone. My finger hovered over my screen as I debated whether or not I should call Braedan. In lieu of engaging in another missed opportunity, I told Siri to contact Braedan.
“Keaton?” he asked with more excitability in his normally laid-back voice than I’d ever witnessed. Clearing his throat, he repeated my name again with a little less enthusiasm than before. “How are you?”
My smile was immediate. “I’m ready. I think. I want to meet with you tomorrow night.”
“Are you feeling well enough to do that?”
“As long as you don’t have plans to go rock-climbing on our first date, I think I’ll be okay.”
“A date?”
“Not a date-date,” I said quickly, slapping my forehead. “I don’t think I’m ready for that. A get-together. Is…that okay with you?”
“Of course it is. Tomorrow. I’ll call around and see where I can make reservations. I’ll text you when I have a place and a time and send a car to pick you up.”
“I can drive myself, I think.”
“I’m assuming you were provided pain medication and are still taking it, correct?”
“Okay,” I submitted, catching his hint.
I RETURNED TO MY mother’s office. The back of my neck bristled, alerting me to something not quite right. Pulled by the dense and unbreathable air, I glanced around until my eyes settled on the shadowed corner of the room. Dressed in a form-fitting leather dress, her makeup perfectly vamped-up, and her azure eyes smiling, she stood.
I went for the phone. Noticing she had snipped the wire, I slammed it back down. My steps moved with haste toward the door. She stood in front of me, holding her hand out. “Let me say my bit, Keaton, and then I’ll leave.”
“How did you get up here, Nadine? Security is on high alert for you and your husband.”
She spun her index fingers in a circle. “You might want to check your inner circle for that information. You know Noah, and you know how people are. No one is clean and no one is so far beyond Noah’s tight, massive grip. Say the right things the right way and then…bam. Instant access to your office.” She stepped forward clucking her tongue at me. “Why are you shaking, princess? Don’t worry, I’m not here to kill, hurt, or fuck you.” She slowly licked her lips. “I get a little of what he sees in you. That pussy of yours is pretty sweet.”
“Nadine, leave!” I rounded my desk and clutched the sharpest object I could find—a letter opener.
“How rude! Most women want to be told how good their pussy tastes. I’ll never compliment you ever again. Anyway…I told you, I only came here to talk. Or, really, to warn you. I hear you have someone in your corner, protecting you. While we don’t know who it is yet, seems he has a tech head on his side who likes to mess with camera feeds, we will find out in our own time. Some people might get hurt while we are conducting a little research. You can avoid that. You can shut all this down and come back to Noah. He pinky-swears he’ll be nice to you again if you come with me. Which is saying a lot because…wow. You ever see a person so livid they are cold with their anger? It’s the stage just before they go psycho on someone. Guess what stage Noah is at right now? I think you broke his black little heart.”
“Noah sent you here because he couldn’t come himself to face me?”
“He’s…a little busy at the moment, princess. Let me be clear.” She placed her hands on the desk and leaned forward. “I came here on a volunteer basis because Noah is beyond the fucking wall. If he came here, it would’ve been messy and painful for you and everyone who stood in his way. More painful than you’ve ever felt before. So I’ll give you a choice: You’ve got a few weeks to get your affairs in order and then we want to see that pretty round ass packed and back at the warehouse waiting. If you make us wait, or take too long, we are going to screw your life up the ass without the lube. Do you catch where I’m going with this?”
I scowled at her, letting her know that she would not intimidate me. “You aren’t going to make me run scared back to Noah.”
She squinted at me. “You think you’re all big and bad because you have an ace in your pocket? Who is…Braedan, Keaton?”
Remaining still, I hid any inkling of my concern. His name spilling from her lips sent a crippling blow to my abdomen. I swallowed it back as my stomach began to clench and make me feel ill.
She scanned my face, waiting for what I refused to give her. “I was sent a video of you chatting about him all chummy-like with your friends. I couldn’t see the feed of the great rescue, because the guy obviously knows a computer whiz or is one. I do know this: His presence in your life has Noah all types of jealous. If you keep pissing him off, he might go after Dudley-Do-Stupid first. Noah would probably make it slow and make you watch while he made Braedan pay for being a thief. What you don’t get, Keaton, is that Noah is a rock god superstar. We’re all just his captivated audience. And sure, there will be times when he focuses on a particular person to capture their attention, but he belongs to no one. According to him, he’s God’s messenger. I don’t believe in that crazy shit, but he does. So…” She shrugged.
“He had some crazy vision about you and what you’re supposed to be. Much as I don’t care for his idea or you, you are supposed to be something big to the new agenda. Nothing will stand in his way. Not even your precious, elusive Braedan.” Her head bowed, sending her dark head of hair flying forward to blanket down her shoulders. “Noah’s in love with you,” she said, the words obviously painful her to say. She never once engaged in eye contact with me as she said the words. “It’s a crazy, scary, and intense kind of love. The bad thing is that he doesn’t know it…but I do. The worse thing is that his love is a prison you can’t make a great escape from. One way or another, he’s going to get what he wants. For some strange reason, he wants you.” Her head inclined upward, her weary blue eyes settled on my face. “What happens along that little path to get to you is on you. You could lose your friends, family…lovers. You could lose everything. Think about that, sweetness.”
My mother’s assistant burst in at the appropriate time. “Is everything okay, Miss Mara?”
Nadine and I engaged in a staring competition for an inordinate amount of time. Unwavering in her misplaced confidence, she stood up straight and
without a word, left the office.
The decision of whether or not to take up Braedan’s offer of allowing his security team to protect me became an even bigger prospect.
I called Braedan. “I’m sorry to call you twice in one day, but…Nadine visited me. She said she knew about you and that Noah was going to—”
“Keaton? Calm down and breathe.”
“I’m trying,” I wheezed, “but I’ll never be able to live with myself if someone gets hurt again because of me.”
“Since you’ve taken up my offer to allow my security team to watch you, you no longer have a reason to worry about my safety or yours.”
“You don’t know how powerful Noah is…and I never said I was okay with your security replacing my mother’s team.”
“Keaton,” he maintained his calm demeanor, creating a hush over my body. “I was at Rebirth longer than you were. I know Noah’s tricks and what makes him tick. The only one who needs increased protection is you. Your protection is no longer up for debate since Nadine was able to make it to your place of business.”
I nodded persistently.
“Keaton?”
“I—Okay.”
“Nothing has to change. Don’t alter your life for Noah.”
“Everything does. Nadine threatened me…and you.”
“With your new security team, that will never happen again.” He exhaled as if he was smoking. “It’s late. Close down for the night. In thirty minutes, a driver will be at the curb to pick you up and take you home. You will have my closest and most valuable bodyguards to watch you from now on.”
“I can’t leave yet. I have so much work to do. I…”
The Rebirth of Sin (Wicked Trinity Book 2) Page 15
