“It can wait until tomorrow.” The command in his voice was soft but assertive. “Close out the business you have remaining and get some rest. Please. For me.”
I conceded.
“You had to endure the pain to appreciate the pleasure.”
-THE SECT
The inconspicuous restaurant remained so until I entered. At the reception desk located in front of a privacy wall with doors on either side stood a woman. She smiled at the sound of the chiming of the door, alerting her to my presence.
“Welcome to Opaque. May I have the name you booked your reservation under?” She didn’t look directly at me, and the way she felt around her surroundings indicated she might’ve been blind.
“Braedan Michaels,” I told her.
“Your party has already arrived. Follow me.” She turned her back on me and waited.
I stood behind her. After a few seconds of awkward silence, I wasn’t sure what to do.
She pointed to her shoulder. “Put your hand here and I will lead you to your table.”
Skeptical, I placed my hand on her shoulder. She led me through the door. There was nothing other than a pure black void to greet me. My steps were no longer confident; I relied fully on her guidance.
“Mr. Michaels? Your party has arrived.” Halting at a particular place, she took my hand, directing one to the back of the chair and the other to the cushion seat.
Feeling my way around, I sat down. “Interesting place to meet.”
“We can go somewhere else if you’d like.” His voice resounded from the other end of the table. “I assumed you’d like to keep up the slight anonymity between us for a little while longer.”
“This place is perfect, actually,” I said. “I shouldn’t like the dark. We…shouldn’t.”
“The worst things at Rebirth happened in the light. I found the dark to be the only time I had any semblance of tranquility.”
Our server arrived at our table and introduced himself, later asking if we’d like to start with the house wine. As I began to order a bottle, Braedan reminded me that I was on pain meds. I simply ordered a seltzer water. At a loss as to what to order for our courses once the waiter announced the specialties, I allowed Braedan to order for me.
When I thought the waiter had left, I clutched the table, preparing to ask the questions I never could. “I have so many questions for you, I’m not sure where to begin.”
“About?”
“Rebirth.”
Under the din of the restaurant I could hear him exhale deeply.
“Maybe I shouldn’t?”
“It’s not something I can talk about in detail.”
“Then why did you seek me out, if it wasn’t to share our experiences?”
“Why did I seek you out?” he asked the question as though it was an odd flavor on his tongue.
I slanted my head to the side, suddenly wishing the darkness would lift and give me the ability to see his expressions to read him properly. “Yes.”
“Yes.”
I grinned and shook my head. “Are you doing that on purpose?”
“Are you smiling right now, Keaton?”
“I am,” I said with a little laugh.
“I’m suddenly wishing I hadn’t made the decision to reserve this place for our first official date.”
I shut down, completely. And wasn’t sure why. I weeded through all my thoughts and tried to figure out the reason I suddenly behaved that way.
“Is there something wrong?”
My silence became his answer.
“The tension became so thick I can barely breathe,” Braedan announced, disrupting the odd quiet between us.
“I can’t really tell you what just happened.”
“Do you have an issue with people being nice to you?” he asked. “Or was it that I referred to our non-date as a date?”
“Men. I think I have an issue with men being nice to me—like you always are. With all that you’ve done, I can’t help but think it’s for a shady reason. I hate to think that, and I’m sorry if I’m wrong. It’s just…what do you get out of helping me?”
“Is it really a trust issue, or do you feel you don’t deserve my kindness?”
My head jerked up, looking for a shadow in the darkness. All that greeted me was the pitch-black room, devoid of any specific outlines or details. “Why this restaurant?”
“The darkness hides the falsehoods about ourselves and helps us to reveal the truth. Isn’t that why you wanted to remain in the dark with me at the hospital?”
“Sometimes we have to close our eyes to see the truth?” I asked.
“Another way to put it, yes.” I could hear the rustle of clothing, him shifting in his seat. “I had other reasons.”
“Reasons such as?”
The warmth of his hand somehow found mine in the darkness. I opened my hand desiring to experience what I felt when he first touched me. He threaded his fingers through mine, firming his grip on my hand, eliciting the safe and comfortable feeling at an increased degree over what I felt the first time. “I wanted to test a theory. If a connection is real, you don’t need to see the person to ignite it; if anything, sight blindness increases it.”
“Does it…with us?”
He ran his thumb across the place between my thumb and index, the sensation was so erotic it made me shudder. “Do you feel that?” he asked, his voice enfolded in sultriness. “Because I do.”
“Yes,” I replied in a soft mumble.
He slipped his hand from mine, leaving me with a longing deeply rooted inside me. I became forlorn over the loss of his healing touch. He was the warmth and comfort I didn’t know I desired. It was easy to become addicted to something you’d never truly experienced—to have a tease of the taste and clamor for the full meal.
“Is that what drew you to Noah? A connection?”
Pulled out of my daydream, I dropped my hand and allowed it to rest on my lap. The quiet fell across the table.
The waiter arrived with our first course, announcing the content of the dishes as he placed them on the table.
I felt around the plate and accidentally dipped my finger into the spiced ginger sauce. “You said we shouldn’t talk about it.”
“I said I didn’t want to talk about my personal experience at Rebirth. This is different. Noah is different. He was arguably the cruelest man there.”
“Some would argue that it was Shiloh.”
“Would you agree?”
“I used to, but not anymore.” After wiping off my finger on a napkin, I tried again to find my fork and heard it ping as it slid from the table.
“Do you need some help?” he asked, a genialness to his voice.
“No. I’ll just use my fingers.” My hand roved around the plate for my cucumber rolls and carefully brought it to my mouth. “Noah showed me a little of his softer side at times.”
“And is that what you responded to?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I just know it wasn’t about a connection. I guess he made me feel the right things at the right time.” I crossed and re-crossed my legs in discomfort. “I can’t talk about it in public. I’m worried someone can listen in.”
“I brought you here for more reasons than feeding your need to be anonymous so that you could be open with me. I wanted to connect with you, and to tell you why I wanted to meet with you.” A small glimmer of light illuminated the table for only a moment. Braedan was cast in a dim blue hue, revealing everything about him from the neck down. It was enough time to appreciate his flair for sophistication, but not much else.
The din that suddenly flooded the restaurant abruptly shut off. “It’s only us, two other couples on either side of the room—who can’t hear us unless we shout—a waiter, a hostess, and a cook. It’s this restaurant’s charm. If you can afford it and need to feel as though you are part of a crowd, you can be. If you need to feel like you’re alone, they allow it.”
“I heard rumors about this place but couldn’t rememb
er the name.” My leg shook erratically underneath the table, rattling the objects on top of it. “My mother used to complain about the wait time for a reservation. Is that why the waiting list is long? They only allow a certain small number of people here?”
“It’s sounds like you’re panicking.” He found my hand, and I wasn’t sure how when I could barely see anything. His heat and a pressure imposed on my right side. The familiar scent of his cologne permeated my senses. He never let go of my hand, holding it securely within his grip. “You still look at the dark as a place that breeds torture. At one point, I was punished in the dark, too, Keaton.”
“At Rebirth?”
“And other places,” he exhaled the words with a tight breath.
“If it’s not too forward to ask, why were you there? Nadine said that everyone in the house did something wrong. ”
“What I did wrong is arguable. It’s possible I trusted the wrong people.”
“Were you kidnapped…like I was?”
“No, I wasn’t taken against my will. I was seduced with the promise of the place being something it wasn’t.”
“Everyone in the house committed some kind of crime,” I surmised. “I committed one, too. I know what Noah and Nadine said to me once Rebirth was burned down, but my silence about my ex’s crimes cost my fiancé and his sister their lives.”
“Your ex?”
“Gregory Mitchum; he was the reason I was there. He was the son of a Senator who tormented me for years. I ignored him, stupidly thinking he would go away. I gave up trying to get protection from him when it seemed like his father had everyone underneath his thumb. Gregory found me and killed my then fiancé and his little sister. Gregory was acquitted of their murders. I made the streets my home because it was the only place he wouldn’t find me. I was wrong…again. It wasn’t the end of him ruining my life; he was supposedly the reason I was at Rebirth. He intended to kill me. Noah…stopped it.”
He paused for an inordinate amount of time.
“Did I scare you away? I was worried I would. It’s why I don’t exactly tell everyone about it.”
“I’m still here, without any plans to go anywhere. Keaton…why do you blame yourself for the crimes committed by someone else? If you had told anyone about your worries, would they have helped you? Would it have prevented Gregory’s crimes?”
No, I don’t believe it would have. “Who are you, Braedan…Sander? Braedan?”
“Braedan,” he affirmed. “Of the people who survived, I feel like I have very little in common with Nadine or Adam, but I might have many things in common with you. If what you think is true, and I was there for a criminal reason, there could be only one crime I’m guilty of; I stood idly by and allowed people to die.”
“Were you part of a criminal organization?”
“A criminal family,” he corrected me. “I’ve done many things I regret, but what I regret most is being ungrateful for the good in my life.”
I slouched, feeling yet another connection ignite between us. “Why didn’t you speak to me in Rebirth?”
“I tried. You weren’t listening.”
I couldn’t remember a single incident when Braedan—as Sander—spoke to me. I couldn’t depend on my memories any longer. My recollections of Rebirth were slowly sinking into a black, bottomless ocean, never to be found again. As it was, I couldn’t recall the details of Sander’s face.
“After what you told me about Gregory, I think I understand why you have an issue with men who treat you well. I think in the beginning, he was kind to you. And with Noah…” He exhaled dramatically; I felt his breath land on my neck. “We’re not all guilty of hiding our monster underneath our charm.”
“Are you saying that you’re a nice guy through and through?”
“No. I’m not—especially not when it comes to the people who have hurt you. They will know me as a ruthless and heartless bastard. But for you and with you, I will always be the nice guy.”
It was involuntary, but I squeezed his hand as though I’d never let go. “I have a hard time picturing you as a ruthless…bastard.”
“I consider that a good thing. You will continue to have a hard time picturing me in that role.”
I needed something different from what I was consistently faced with, but I couldn’t quiet the voice that told me the cushion under my landing would soon be replaced with burning coals. I was cursed to attract men who were monsters. “What if I end up on your bad side?”
“You never will,” he affirmed. “I have a question pertaining to what I saw in a particular news story. Something about the life you led on the streets. One particular station focused on the man you were known to accompany.”
“If I hadn’t attended his funeral,” I grumbled, “I’m sure he would’ve remained anonymous. He would’ve hated the media attention if he were alive. I couldn’t bring myself to watch the special on his life. His death barely feels real to me, even after all this time.”
“You speak about him with such honor. He meant a lot to you, didn’t he?”
“He did. He really did. He changed so many things for me. He changed me.”
“Did you find a kinship with him because you were in slightly similar circumstances? Both well off but deciding to forego creature comforts for something simpler?”
“W-what did you mean?”
“I thought you were aware. Jeff was a millionaire.”
“What?” Thoroughly shocked, I was the one to release our hold.
“He walked away from a business, a device he trademarked and sold for quite a bit of money to live on the streets. No one knows why. He didn’t really have any family and what was left of his fortune, he left to charity; a non-profit that assists veterans in dealing with PTSD.”
I questioned certain circumstances where he suddenly had more cash than he should have when the man refused to panhandle or ask for handouts. I never thought the man would’ve kept such a big secret from me. Almost everything he said—did—shifted from one idea to another.
“Are you okay?” Braedan asked.
“I…never knew.”
“I’m sorry to have upset you.”
“You didn’t. To be honest…it makes me love him more.”
Things became so quiet I could hear his hurried breaths. I could feel them against my lips. Preempting my compulsion to state that I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that level of intimacy, he released my hand and removed himself from my side.
Our banter continued, delving into subjects detailing his hope for policy change for the homeless issue in the D.C. area. He was passionate about his ideas for better career opportunities for Veterans as well as better behavioral care for those who were still weighted with the emotional toil of repeated tours in war-torn areas.
The outing ended far too quickly with him settling the bill with the waiter. “Are you ready to drop the anonymity?” he asked me.
It would have to continue this way. I’d never been more myself or more comfortable with anyone. I wasn’t prepared to unmask my hero or myself. We were essentially naked and real. Replacing the mask to build up the false exterior toward him would have to wait for however long my patience would allow me to remain sight-blind. “I don’t think it’s such a good idea.”
“Keaton,” he cooed. “It’s time. I know you’re worried, but I think it’s unfounded.” His movement was heard. He took my hand, leading me to stand.
He guided me out of the restaurant, easily seeing his way through the dark. I remained behind him, trailing him as we exited and wound up on the sidewalk outside the entrance to the restaurant. I studied what he was wearing, the tailored black dress shirt, rolled up at the sleeves, and slacks.
The second he turned to face me, I closed my eyes.
I panicked and became unreceptive.
As he tilted my chin up, I kept my eyes closed. Overcoming me in strength, he thrust my chin up at a severe angle, forcing my eyes to shoot open and settle on his face.
“Wow,” I s
aid without thinking as I beamed. It was impossible not to be taken by his appearance. The fine features. The defined and distinct attributes of his face. It was a face that was made for display; like the man used to represent luxury brand colognes or advertising watches in black and white photographs or two-minute commercials of silence where the man’s swagger and appearance captivated the audience to such an extent he didn’t need to speak.
His veneer of beauty was a stark contrast to the presence the man had; his facial features toyed with the line dividing masculinity and femininity. I’d imagined bits of his face from my foggy memory of him at Rebirth but fell hopelessly short.
I had become his captivated one-member audience.
“Wow?” His dark rose lips swelled in the center and tapered perfectly in the corners, giving him a natural and very enticing pout. “Is that something I should be worried about? Is there something wrong?”
As I remained silent and stared at him, his mouth curled up at the corners in a magnetizing way. I was never one to think about it. If sex ever manifested into flesh and bone, Braedan would’ve been its perfect example.
He slid his hands in his pockets and lifted a thick, naturally curved brow over one of his ice-grey eyes. “Keaton?”
I studied his strong forearms, slowly working my way back up to his entrancing gaze. “Your face…” I cleared away the grit in my voice. “I should’ve remembered you.”
His smile deepened and completely erased away my composure. “Why would you have?”
“As typical and slightly trite as this is probably going to sound.” I looked down because I couldn’t endure saying the words while holding his eye contact. “You have to be the most beautiful”—sexiest—“man I’ve ever seen.”
His hand gently shifted under my chin, lifting my head to look at him. His broad smile, showcasing gleaming white teeth stood as a stark contrast over the sudden reddening of his razor sharp cheekbones. “It would count as the most generous thing anyone has ever said to me. You’re amazing for my ego.”
My smile broadened more than I thought possible. “I didn’t think you had an ego.”
The Rebirth of Sin (Wicked Trinity Book 2) Page 16
