An Unplanned Lesson

by Beth Rinyu

  Chapter 43

  I still wasn’t feeling very sociable by the time Friday rolled around, but I knew there was no way I was going to talk my way out of it. Donna would have come to my apartment and dragged me out, kicking and screaming. So I stood in front of PJ’s bar, waiting for Donna, Kara, and a few of Donna’s co-workers to arrive. I was relieved when I finally saw Kara pull into the parking lot.

  Kara made her way up to the door, smiling widely. We greeted each other with a hug. We stood outside for a little longer, deciding to take our conversation inside and wait for Donna. We ordered our usual drink of choice – margaritas – and found a seat. It was more crowded than usual, due to an up and coming band that was playing tonight. Kara and I were deep in conversation when Donna arrived. She introduced Kara and me to her two co-workers. After a couple of margaritas and lots of laughs, I was glad that I had ventured out of my self-pity cocoon that I had been living in for the past couple of weeks. Even if it was temporary, it felt good to laugh again and not think about Dailan for a while. I drew the line with my happiness when some guy came up and asked me to dance. I declined. Although I might be ready to go out and share some laughs with my girlfriends, I was by no means ready to get involved with anyone, even if it was just one little innocent dance.

  They decided to make fools out of themselves on the dance floor, while I took a much-needed bathroom break. I made my way out of the bathroom through the droves of people when I felt someone grab my elbow roughly. I looked up to find myself staring into Dailan's cold, callous eyes. His eyes were glassed over and I could smell the strong scent of alcohol coming off him. Clearly, he had had a little too much to drink.

  "So, tell me, Nicole, do you think of me when you're fucking that scumbag Kincaide?"

  I couldn’t believe how my un-drank drink got back to Dailan and twisted into something else. Do I even bother telling him that it wasn't true? That I left that night without even having a drink with him? I looked into his eyes, and through the icy coldness, I saw something else. I saw sadness. I wanted to take him in my arms and tell him it wasn’t true. I wanted him to know how much I loved him and wanted to be with him. But then I thought back to that day in his office and how he crushed my heart without even blinking an eye. I wanted him to know exactly how it felt. I didn't even care if it meant that he would think that I slept with a dirtbag like Rick Kincaide. I just wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me that day.

  "No Dailan, actually I don't think of you at all." The words pained me as they escaped my mouth.

  His eyes narrowed and his anger seemed to escalate. He roughly pulled me into him as his lips came crashing down on mine, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I could taste the alcohol on him as I struggled to break free.

  "Just a little something to help you remember," he said coldly.

  “Get the hell away from me!” I pushed against his chest in an effort to get away. But it was of no use, he just moved in closer getting right near my ear. “What’s the matter, Nicole, will Rick get upset if he finds out you’re kissing me?” I could hear the loathing in his voice at the mention of Rick’s name. He began to kiss me again, this time with a sense of urgency as he roughly pulled my body into his and ran his hands up and down my back. I couldn’t breathe as I struggled to break free.

  “Get off me.” I pushed him as hard as I could, barely budging him.

  “Oh, don’t worry, I won’t tell him.” I was still wrapped in his arms and even though there was no place on Earth that I would rather be, I still struggled to break free.

  “Dailan, please let me go!” I shouted.

  Tommy came rushing over and did his best to pull Dailan away. "Dailan, come on; be cool," he said, trying to calm Dailan down.

  “She broke my heart, Tommy. I love her and now she’s screwing the one person that she knows I hate the most,” Dailan shouted in his drunken stupor. I noticed other people who were standing close by looking on.

  Tommy just shook his head, placing his hand on Dailan’s chest as he came between the two of us. I couldn’t believe how screwed up Dailan was. He was the one that broke up with me. He was the one who was having his ex-lovers show up at his job. He was the one that refused to take my calls and he had the nerve to say that I broke his heart!

  “Nicole, just go. He’s drunk. I’m sure he’ll feel like a fool when I tell him how he behaved tonight,” Tommy said.

  I looked at Dailan one last time. I thought about all three times he had said he loved me. The first time, he was under the influence of sleep, the second time was under the influence of sex, and the third time was under the influence of alcohol. I wondered if he had ever really meant it or if it was all just a game to him, much like I felt like our whole relationship was. He was staring at me intently and, unlike him, I felt compassion for the sadness in his eyes. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and comfort him, but I knew it was too late for that. We had both caused one another far too much unnecessary pain.

  I worked my way to the dance floor, finally locating Donna and Kara. I didn't want them to know that I was leaving over what had just transpired with Dailan, so I lied.

  "You know what, my stomach is bothering me. I'm going to head home."

  "Aww," they both said in unison.

  I said my goodbyes and headed out the door, happy that they didn't try and badger me into staying. The short walk back to my apartment afforded me time to clear my head. I was more confused than ever by Dailan's behavior. If he truly did care for me the way he had said, then why would he have jumped to conclusions so quickly and break up with me? I knew that it was something deeper. I remembered his reaction to Rick Kincaide at the Christmas party, which was before he and I had even started up any type of relationship. There was some reason that he despised him so much and I knew that it had a lot more to do with just my innocent encounter with him at the coffee shop.

  I realized that I had achieved my goal. I had made Dailan feel just as awful as I had that day at his office – only it didn’t feel very satisfying after all.

  Chapter 44

  The weeks were flying by at a rapid pace and fortunately, I had enough on my plate to keep my mind occupied and free of wondering about Dailan. Not that I didn’t think about him, but instead of crossing my mind a thousand times a day, it had dwindled down to a mere hundred. We had just celebrated Donna’s bridal shower. It was hard to believe that her wedding was only a month away, and so was the last day of school.

  My life seemed to be calming down a bit. I still hadn’t talked to my parents since the birthday incident, which was fine by me. The less that I heard from them the better I felt. Things had died down with Mrs. Aymes as well. She was now on a new campaign against the art teacher for some foolish reason that I didn’t care to listen to. I continued to be there for Ryan as best as I could at school. I became painfully aware that very soon, we too would be parting ways. I was so pleased when his “hero” essay took third place out of the whole school. He wrote it all by himself for the most part, with a little help from me. It was hard for me at first when I saw that his hero was Dailan. But I put my feelings aside and helped him out upon seeing how excited he was to write it. I had wondered if Dailan would be attending the awards assembly – but he didn’t. Instead, Lisa was there.

  I had a whole hour of free time before the kids would be piling into school for the day. They were all so rambunctious with the warmer weather and wanted to be outside. It made me look forward to this quiet time a lot more than usual.

  The air conditioner was on the fritz and it was an unusually hot May morning. I twirled my hair up in the clip that I had hanging on my purse strap in an effort to stay cool. I was glad that I chose to wear my sleeveless summer dress. I was deep in thought, reading over a composition, when I heard a light knock on my door. My heart dropped when I looked up to see Dailan.

  "Hi," I said through the butterflies that had erupted in my stomach.

  "Hey," he replied. He was dressed casually in jeans and a black
polo shirt. He was still so devastatingly handsome, but something seemed to have changed about him. He wasn’t that same sarcastic man I had met in the beginning of the school year, nor was he the loving man in whose arms I had just been a few months ago. He was flat and expressionless. His eyes seemed to be missing their spark and he looked exhausted.

  "I just was in the office picking up some paperwork from Ryan's educational assessment. Sorry I couldn't make the meeting. I was away on business," he said as he moved closer to my desk.

  "Oh, no problem," I said, realizing that I was talking to him as if he were just any other parent.

  He gazed at me with sadness in his eyes. The silence in the room was becoming blatantly uncomfortable and I knew I had to think of something to say quickly.

  "So, when will you be leaving for Dublin?"

  "I'm not sure yet, I'm leaving later today to go there and make all the arrangements with my company for the transition, probably in a few months."

  "Oh," I said, putting my head down, not wanting to think about Dailan and Ryan being an ocean away.

  All of a sudden, I remembered the picture of Ryan from the awards ceremony that I had in my drawer. I fumbled around, finally locating it, and handed it to him.

  "I thought you would want this."

  It was a picture of Ryan reading his "Hero" composition, the one that I had helped him write. I got up, walked over to the bulletin board, and took Ryan’s award-winning composition down. Dailan was still smiling at the picture I had just handed him.

  "Here: this goes with it. He was reading from his composition about the greatest hero in his life - you," I said.

  He briefly looked it over and smiled. "Wow, who would of thought? He's come a long way because of you."

  "Well, I had a lot of help from you too. He’s a really great kid. I’m going to miss him.” And I’m going to miss you, I wanted to say so badly, but I stopped myself in time.

  There was sadness in his eyes that just made me want to forget everything that had happened between us and start anew, but I knew it was much too late for that.

  "I'm sorry, Nicole, for the way I acted the last time I saw you. I was a little drunk,"

  "That's okay; I guess we're even now," I said, thinking back to the first time I had met him when I was a little drunk.

  "Yeah, I guess," he said with a sigh.

  He moved closer to me. My knees became weak. I breathed in the familiar scent of his cologne and savored the warm touch of his hand on my arm.

  "I'm going to be really tied up this next month with work so I don't know if I'll see you before the school year is over. But I wanted to tell you 'thank you - for everything."

  I felt the tears building in my eyes and contained them just before they fell. I was pretty sure that he had noticed too. He looked at me sympathetically as if he were trying to comfort me with his eyes.

  "Dailan, I know this doesn't matter now, but I need you to know. I never slept with Rick Kincaide. I don't know what he told you, but I swear I didn't. I would never do that to you. Yes, I wanted to hurt you, the same way you had hurt me that day at your office so I agreed to go out for a drink and left before I even had one – I just couldn’t."

  He was silent for a moment and I wished I knew what he was thinking. He slid his hand down my bare arm, taking my hand in his.

  "Goodbye, Nicole." His hand left mine at the same time as a teardrop left my eye. I watched as he walked out of Room 114 for the very last time, leaving a huge hole in my heart and tears flowing down my face. I closed my eyes, wishing things could have been different for us. The one person I was willing to cast aside my fears for had just walked out of my life forever. I wrapped my hand around my wrist and ran my thumb over the silver heart dangling from my bracelet, knowing that the man who had given it to me was the same one that would be in my heart forever - Mr. Dailan O'Maley.

  Chapter 45

  It was the last day of after-school tutoring for Ryan. We switched it up to Tuesday this week because Ryan had plans with his grandfather after school tomorrow. Not that Ryan even needed to be tutored anymore; he was doing perfectly in school now. I knew that he looked forward to spending that extra time with me after school, just as much as I looked forward to spending that time with him. I decided to make it a little more special for him. I had baked brownies and bought them in for us to have after school. His smile was a mile wide when I placed the plate in front of him.

  “Did you make these?” he asked.

  “Yup.”

  “They’re really good,” he said as he took a bite.

  There wasn’t much schoolwork going on at all, so Ryan and I just talked. He was so excited about his birthday party this upcoming weekend. I listened to him intently as he told me about all the presents on his list. He expressed his sadness over the fact that Dailan was away and wouldn’t be there and I did my best to act normal at the mention of his name.

  “Miss Morgan, will you come and see me when I come back to visit my Aunt Lisa?”

  I felt a lump in my throat, seeing both sadness and hope on his face. Next year, Ryan would be in a different country, and a strange school with new kids and new teachers to which he would have to adjust. He was doing so well here and now he was about to be yanked out of a familiar situation yet again. I knew that he could handle it; he had proven how resilient he was over this past year. I still couldn’t help but feel some sadness over the whole circumstance. I swallowed hard to fight back my tears. “Yes, Ryan, I would love to see you when you’re here visiting.” He smiled, exposing the adorable dimples that I had grown to love and took another bite of his brownie.

  By the time Lisa came to pick him up, Ryan was already on his third brownie and second juice box. Ryan was laughing uncontrollably at a joke he had just told me and he was covered in chocolate. “Hey, are you guys having a party without me?” Lisa joked as she pushed a strand of her long brown hair out of her face.

  “Miss Morgan made brownies,” Ryan said.

  I held the plate out to Lisa, offering her one. “Oh, no thanks, I met my chocolate quota for the day,” she joked.

  Ryan ran to the bathroom to wash the chocolate from his face and hands. “Nicole, I’m having a birthday party for Ryan on Saturday and I wanted to see if you could come. I realize it’s Memorial Day weekend and you may already have plans, but if not, it would really mean a lot to Ryan if you were there.”

  She must have seen the look of hesitation on my face as she continued. “Dailan won’t be there; he’s in Ireland. He won’t be back until next Tuesday.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I said.

  “Oh, did Ryan tell you already?”

  “No, I talked to Dailan yesterday before he left. He was here picking up paperwork for Ryan. I would love to come,” I said, erasing any reluctance from my mind.

  “Great!” She grabbed a pen and piece of paper from her purse and wrote down her address and cell number. “We’ll see you around two.”

  “Ryan, Miss Morgan’s coming to your party on Saturday,” Lisa said as he walked back in the classroom.

  “Yes!” Ryan exclaimed. The look on his face was priceless.

  Lisa hurried him along as he gathered up his books and loaded them into his backpack with the smile never leaving Ryan’s face.

  “Bye, Miss Morgan. Thanks for the brownies and thanks for saying you’ll come to my party.”

  “Bye, Ryan.” I gave both him and Lisa a smile as they walked out the door.

  I sat down at my desk and began to wonder if I would just be making it worse by going to Ryan’s party. As much as he wanted me there and as much as I wanted to go, the reality was that soon I would no longer be in his life. So, was it really good for us to keep building upon this relationship when soon it would be taken away? I quickly dismissed those feelings as I thought of the smile on Ryan’s face when he found out that I was going. He deserved happiness and I was happy to provide it to him even if it was fleeting.

  I stopped off at the food store on my wa
y home from work. I grabbed a frozen pizza for dinner and couldn’t resist the chocolate chip mint ice cream for dessert. I was starving by the time I got home and wasted no time lighting my oven and sticking the pizza in. My apartment was so warm from being closed in all day. I debated about whether to open the windows or turn on the air. I decided to open the windows to let in some fresh air. I changed into my shorts and tank in an effort to cool off. My pizza was just about done when my cell phone began to ring. I was shocked when I saw my sister’s name displaying on my caller ID. What the heck did she want? I hadn’t heard from her since that day at the ice skating rink. I decided to let it go to voicemail. I was much too hungry to deal with her on an empty stomach. I sat down to eat and pulled out my lesson plans. I quickly glanced at my phone – no voicemail. Guess it couldn’t have been too important. As I flipped my calendar to the week ahead, I realized that I was coming up on that dreaded day that I always closed myself off from the rest of the world. I had been so busy these past few weeks that I didn’t have time to dwell on it like I had in previous years.

  I finished my lesson plans and my pizza and sat down in front of the TV with my ice cream. I had just taken my first spoonful of the cool sweet minty ice cream when my cell phone began to ring from the kitchen counter. “Damn it,” I said as I walked into the kitchen, taking my ice cream with me.

  Renee, again? What the hell did she want? Her timing was impeccable, just when I wanted to be alone with my ice cream.

  “Hello.” I finally gave in and answered.

  “Nicole,” I could hear a sense of urgency in her voice and it almost sounded like she was crying.

  “What’s up, Renee?”

  “Nicole, it’s Justin….” The ice cream container fell from my hand to the ground along with my phone. I slid down on the cold ceramic tile of my kitchen floor, hugging my knees and shaking uncontrollably….my little brother was gone forever.