The Big Book of Superheroes
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Answer Key
The Green Hornet.
The only wrong answer is one you didn’t explain! (Also, here’s a Fun Fact: Syndrome was drawn to look like the director of The Incredibles, Brad Bird.)
J’onn J’onzz, the Martian Manhunter.
I’d hope not, because superheroes don’t cry! (But they do die sometimes, though.)
He probably has a gas bladder.
One possibility would be to make huge exercise wheels and put them at the edge of town. No way those giant, superintelligent hamsters could resist taking them for a spin.
Thor!
I have no idea of what the right answer to this question would be. But I do know it would totally freak people out if you shook hands or fist-bumped them with your invisible hands!
Yes, it is weird. Imagine if humans were the same way—now that would be a crazy superpower.
Well, many superheroes have fathers who are, um, sort of...dead.
a. “Faster than...a speeding bullet.” (Superman. BTW, is there such a thing as a slow bullet?)
b. “The guilty will be...punished.” (the Punisher)
c. “Imperius...Rex!” (Sub-Mariner)
d. “In brightest day...in blackest night/No evil shall escape my sight/Let those who worship evil’s might/Beware my power—Green Lantern’s light!” (What? You haven’t memorized Green Lantern’s motto yet?)
Did you give a thoughtful answer? (If not, just pretend you did!)
b. Batman.
Wing Chun!
Good examples might include Minimidget, Adam X the X-Treme, Pepper Potts, the Human Nightlight, and Qwyk’sand Wyndzbane.
a. The original Human Torch wasn’t human. He was an android made by a scientist.
Halloween.
a. Being a reporter who reported on himself.
b. Owing the government billions of dollars in taxes.
Pink—no, gray!
b. This doesn’t work, you know!
The Legion of Superfluous Heroes.
For one thing, you’d have to go wee wee wee all the way home.
If this were any more true, it would hurt!
Acknowledgments
I wrote this book all by myself. (Don’t look so surprised! I am a superhero, y’know.)
However, my sidekicks tried to help. So many, many thanks to Melinda “Colonel Unstoppable” King, Eric “Dennis the Phantom Menace” Danko, Django “Vandal Samurai” Jacobsen Fein, Rudy “Radioactive Lad” Pinedo, Kristin “Ripcord” Schlupp, Mitchell “Death Stache” King, Michelle “@$#! Girl” Witte, Mike “Vowel Dude” Lkb, Angela “the Squire” Root, Greg “Electro-Guardian” Stearns, Janice “Mega-Gal” Johnson, Evan “Unavoidable Man” Kiester, Gretchen “Lobster Lady” Lancour, Bob “Kingpin” Kingston, Jill “JCLA” Corcoran, Donna “Dynamite Sight” Matias, Patricia “Queen Bee” Prince, Karen “Wicked Awesome Grrrl” Washington, Michael Ivan “the Phantom Radical” King, Katy “Dappled Lightning” Fackler, David Michael “Crater Hater” Slater, Benjamin “Punctuation Person” Herson, Judith “Fancy Pants Lass” Thompson, James “Margarine Man” Butterfield, Holden “Afro Warrior” Hindes, Lynn “Coffee Achiever” King, Bob “Baron Redoubtable” Cooper, and Suzanne “Super Scoop” Taylor.
And finally, thank you. Remember, even when the rest of the world is bizarro, you’re still perfectly normal!