The Scar-Faced King

by Isabell Schmitt-Egner

  “Oh, Princess. I beg you to stop this fuss. Even if you wanted to, which I rule out for several reasons, I wouldn’t want to.”

  “I see, and why not?” Strangely, Lilli felt a little offended. He would turn down a princess like her?

  “I have my reasons, which I do not wish to explain. But you can put your mind at rest. It pleases me that you strive for freedom. Freedom is important. Be a guest in my house as long as it pleases you. And if it helps you in your quarrel with your father, it is all the same to me. I only ask you not to disturb me if possible. I have much to do.”

  She stared at him and wondered what she should say now. This conversation had gone so very differently from what she had planned. She had to think about that first in peace. Amon was still looking at her as if searching her face for something. That she gave up and left? That she thanked him? Again, she couldn’t understand why such a fuss was made about his facial scars. Lilli didn’t believe that brides willing to get married would let that stop them. How old might the king be? Twenty-four? Hard to say. In his features there was a mixture of responsibility, calmness, knowledge and at the same time she recognised something very youthful. His behaviour seemed too serious for his presumed age. She could not imagine Amon in a position to make a joke. His face, apart from the scars, was evenly proportioned, his chin-length hair full and black as raven’s feathers. It shone just the same. The king was a truly handsome man with a few faded scars on his face. And he seemed calm and level-headed. Why would no one want to marry him?

  Well, basically she didn’t know. Maybe there were suitors and ...

  “Ask your question,” Amon said.

  Lilli was startled out of her thoughts. “I ... don’t have one. It’s all right.”

  “You’re lying, Your Highness. Go ahead and ask, and then let me get on with my work.” Amon ran his hand through his hair and for a moment it seemed to Lilli that his gaze was wandering.

  “I wondered why you had not married long ago. Were there no enquiries from other houses?” Lilli was aware that this question must seem incredibly indiscreet and cheeky, but her curiosity was stronger, and, after all, he had asked for it.

  Amon raised an eyebrow in surprise, but then he had himself back in control.

  “You’re sure you didn’t want to ask anything else?”

  “Quite sure.” What was she supposed to ask? Lilli felt she had overlooked or not understood something.

  “There were two enquiries about marriage, which I declined,” Amon said.

  “And why did you refuse?”

  “You wanted to ask a question. I answered that one.” Amon grabbed the back of his neck and closed his eyes. “I would be grateful if you would now let me continue.”

  “Of course.” Lilli said kindly. For now, that was enough. As she left the room, she took another quick turn at the door. The king still sat there like that, with his hand on the back of his neck and his eyes closed.

  Lilli felt the need for fresh air and decided to go down into the courtyard. Perhaps she discovered a kind of castle gardens where she could walk and think in peace. Apparently, she had taken the wrong exit, because she ended up in a small backyard, where she was immediately noticed as a stranger and given the appropriate looks. Lilli took heart and approached one of the women who passed her by with a laundry basket on her arm. She asked for the castle gardens and the woman described the way to her.

  So, Lilli went through a small gate and two more backyards until she reached a wrought-iron gate, but it opened quite easily. When Lilli entered the garden, she almost clapped her hands in delight. Winding paths led past stone beds in which a wide variety of plants flourished. Everything looked neat and tidy. Fruit trees and berry bushes lined the raked path and it looked like there was a lot to discover here. Lilli loved gardens and especially those with streams or ponds. For her, a source of water was part of a proper garden, and so she strolled along the paths, smelling a flower here and there and thinking about what she had found out.

  Her father probably assumed that she would not actually marry the king. She was to live here for a while. And then? Was he going to come back for her then? She still had to ask Amon if her father had said anything about that. And she needed a strategy. Did her father know that Amon would not have agreed to marry her anyway? If not, she had the option of keeping up the charade for a while longer. Her father might then beg her to be reasonable and come back home with him. Lilli would agree on the condition that he left her alone from now on, that he no longer ordered potential husbands to the castle. Should he refuse, she could continue to insist on wanting to marry Amon. Her father would prevent that at all costs, she knew. And the price, she would then set herself.

  In order not to make a mistake now, she just had to settle all open questions with the king. To do this, she would approach him at a time when he had more time on his hands and was not struggling with his paperwork or his servants at the court. And that should probably be feasible.

  Satisfied, Lilli went on, plucked a leaf from a bush full of mint and popped it into her mouth. The fresh, tangy taste quickly hit her tongue and she enjoyed the tingling sensation and the dancing rays of sunlight on her face.

  She stopped at a small gate, also made of iron. When she tried to open it, she found that the gate was locked. Lilli peered into the garden beyond. She saw strange flowers in bright yellow that changed to dark purple towards the centre. Bushes with white, small flowers and other plants she didn’t know. This area of the garden seemed smaller and not particularly spectacular to her. Why was it closed off?

  Suddenly Lilli had the feeling that someone was behind her. Heart pounding, she turned around, expecting to be mistaken, but there on the path stood the old woman, staring at her. Lilli looked back uncertainly. Had this person been stalking her? The eyes framed with wrinkles scrutinised her, and before Lilli could address her, the old woman spoke up.

  “Why are you here? Are you marrying Amon?” Again, her voice had that raspy sound.

  “Auntie Jahne!” Constance came along the path towards Lilli with quick steps and ruffled dress. “I beg you, leave our guest alone. You’d best go to your room.”

  The old woman pursed her mouth and then averted her eyes. A moment later she shuffled away, and Lilli was struck by an inexplicable feeling of unease. She couldn’t pin it down to anything in particular, but she felt bad.

  “Did she frighten you?” Constance asked amiably, touching Lilli on the arm.

  “Don’t mention it.” Lilli watched Auntie Jahne disappear among the trees.

  “She sometimes turns up somewhere and then she talks confusing stuff.” Constance sighed as if she were carrying a heavy burden. “Well ... do you like the garden? I just saw you trying to open the gate.”

  “It’s very beautiful here,” Lilli said, wondering who else had been watching them on their little excursion.

  “The little garden is where the poisonous and medicinal plants grow. Anyone who doesn’t know about them shouldn’t go in there. Some of it is so poisonous that just touching the leaves can lead to death.”

  Lilli felt a twinge in her chest and thought of the mint leaf she had just picked and put in her mouth. She had been too careless and thoughtless on the road. But well, how could she have guessed that deadly poisonous herbs grew here! Constance must have noticed her alarm and smiled reassuringly.

  “Don’t worry, anything poisonous is really only found behind these walls. It’s also a protection for the unaware or children who might get into the garden. You have to be careful there, after all.”

  “True,” Lilli said, because that was all she could think of to say.

  “I understand you’ve been talking to my brother?” Constance asked this in such a way that Lilli could assume she knew. Amon had probably told her about Lilli’s visit to his study, so she nodded.

  “Well?” Constance moved closer to her as if she were Lilli’s best friend who couldn’t wait to learn a secret.

  “He told me he spo
ke to my father. He doesn’t believe I’m really here to marry the king. I can stay here as long as I like.”

  Constance looked confused. “Why should you stay here if you are not getting married?”

  Lilli had decided at that moment to just tell her. She surely wouldn’t run to Lilli’s father and tell him about it. Why should she?

  “I have a dispute with my father. He wants to force me into marriage. And I refuse. I came here to finally be rid of him. I had no intention of staying...

  “... but to gamble that the king would take you back?” Constance completed the sentence.“ Something like that.” Lilli sighed.

  “I see.” Constance hooked herself to her and gently pulled her along with her as she strolled on down the path. “And Amon probably told you he didn’t want to get married, too. Because that’s how I know him.”

  “Yes, that’s right. That’s what he said.” At the thought of it, Lilli felt that strange twinge in her chest again. His refusal annoyed her, even though it was ridiculous, after all, not the least bit to do with her as a person. “Do you know why he doesn’t want to get married?” The question came out on the spur of the moment, before she could stop it.

  “Are you seriously asking that?” Constance looked straight ahead as they walked past a bench. “Come, let’s sit down for a moment.”

  They settled on the bench and Constance looked thoughtfully at the flowers swaying in the light breeze in the flower beds.

  “Did he tell you more about it?” she finally asked quietly.

  “Not much. That there were two requests he turned down.”

  “Yes. Those women were not for him. One the fifth daughter of an earl he just couldn’t place anywhere. No one wanted to marry her, as she was also considered simple-minded. And the other, Amon didn’t even want to look at a picture of her, he said no straight away.”

  “But why ...” Lilli searched for the right words without hurting Amon’s sister. “... Why aren’t there more opportunities for him? Your estate is huge, isn’t it?”

  “Lilliana ... we are not talking about his scars. But it’s obvious what the problem is,” Constance said gently.

  “I don’t understand. Really. The scars are nowhere near as bad as I made them out to be. When I first saw Amon, I hardly noticed them.”

  Lilli turned to Constance and her disbelieving, even concerned face puzzled her.

  “You can’t really mean that.” Constance said.

  “Yes, I do, of course I mean it.” Lilli blinked in irritation.

  “There is no need to talk about him like that out of politeness. Everyone sees what happened to his face. What his brother did.”

  “What?” whispered Lilli, not answering the other comment.

  “He cut his face. With a knife. Amon struck him down and killed him in battle. He bears the scars from that night to this day. And he can’t forgive himself for killing his brother, even if it were to save his own life.”

  Troubled, Lilli listened to this story. What effect had that experience had on the king? Was it even possible to guess?

  “Would Amon’s brother have become king if he had lived on?” asked Lilli.

  “No. Amon was the firstborn. The throne is his. That’s what we all suspect as the motive for the deed to Amon. He wanted the throne.”

  “How old was Amon when this happened?”

  “He was sixteen. It’s a miracle he survived the assassination.”

  Now they both fell silent. Lilli’s mind was racing with thoughts and feelings she didn’t know how where to place. Consternation, pity ... there were so many things. She couldn’t sort it out for herself at that moment.

  Constance’s fingers rested on her arm again, reassuringly.

  “My brother is not an easy person, but that has its reasons. He’s not evil. He mostly just wants to be left alone. Maybe the thought of a woman is too exhausting for him, too.”

  After that, they sat next to each other in silence for a while until Lilli said goodbye and made her way to her room. She wanted to be alone.

  Lilli stood at the window and looked out over the foggy landscape. Basically, everything Constance had said played into her hands. That Amon of Grauemfall didn’t want a wife at all and that he was a fate-stricken man about whom one couldn’t know how he would behave when living with a woman. Strictly speaking, there was enough reason now to go home and say that she had learned things from her future husband that made marriage impossible. Unacceptable things.

  Yes, she could do that. Only who was to accompany her? The men of her entourage had departed. Lilli’s fingers felt the rough stones of the windowsill. The mist had settled on the walls and coated the dull stone with a moist glow.

  Hadn’t Amon hinted that her father was expecting her to return home anyway? Would he come for her at some point? Giving up after one day was probably not the best plan either. But she already had enough reasons to give up at any time. She could get out of it without losing face.

  But then why did she still feel so uncomfortable?

  Lilli went over to her books and looked for something to read. Of course, she already knew every single one of them and after a short while she gave up. She would have liked to sit by the window or in the garden to paint now. She could have tried to capture the strange grey of the fog, the misty forests. But she couldn’t do that without colours.

  Finally, she picked up some book she had already read, lay down on her bed and started again.

  At some point she had come to her senses. She must have fallen asleep; the book was still open beside her. Lilli straightened up to find that the light of day had already departed.

  She slid off the bed, walked to the door on unsteady legs and instructed the first person who came by to send for her servant. Sophia appeared shortly afterwards, and Lilli ordered hot bath water and supper. These two things thus constituted her solitary evening programme before she then curled up in bed late at night.

  4

  The next morning, she slept in and only woke up when the sun was already high in the sky. It was all the same to Lilli. Before she got bored here again all day, she might as well lie down and sleep on. But then she did get up, and when she stepped to the window and felt the sun on her skin, her drowsiness faded quite quickly.

  She chose a simple, functional dress in powder blue. Yet she had no desire to have her servant called for her first. It just wasn’t the same as with Margarita. So, she almost preferred to do everything herself. Only the food was taken to her. Sophia looked a little pale as she served, looking beneath herself the entire time as if avoiding Lilli’s gaze. Yes, she had really made herself popular with the servants, it seemed.

  She tried to ignore it, waited until Sophia had gone, and only then did she devote herself to her meal. Afterwards she took another walk in the garden, meeting no one, returned to her room and soon Constance reappeared to fetch her for lunch.

  They chatted about trivial matters this time and Lilli thought she would pass out from boredom when she stood alone in her room again in the afternoon and looked out of the window. She needed something to do, otherwise she wouldn’t make it through her time here. She decided to go to the king the next day at the latest and ask if someone could accompany her on a trip to the next town, where she would buy some new paints. That seemed like salvation to her at that moment. She would be able to devote herself to her passion, no longer suffer from her inactivity.

  And what if she went to Amon this very day? Then perhaps she could leave first thing in the morning and be back to paint in the afternoon. Then she remembered that she had no money on her at all and her cheeks warmed at the idea that she would have to ask the king for money.

  Embarrassing. At home she had never thought about needing money. She had always been given everything without any discussion of the cost. But colours couldn’t be so expensive that it would be a problem for the king. And when she travelled home, her father would certainly reimburse the full amount.

  Lilli decided to get thi
s somewhat humiliating trip to Amon over with immediately and made her way to his study. As she did so, she wondered where his other private chambers might be. Perhaps he had a whole wing to himself? Would he feel lonely there? One person could not fill such a large space with life.

  Shortly afterwards, she reached the corridor and approached the door, which was not quite closed. Voices drifted out to her from inside and she stopped. Perhaps she had come at an inconvenient time and the king was in a meeting?

  Lilli stayed where she was and waited. When the door opened, she stepped back into the shadows of the corridor.

  Constance came out of the room, closely followed by a man carrying a wooden case in his arms. They stopped and exchanged a few words, then the man nodded to Constance and walked briskly down the corridor.

  Lilli took a few steps closer and Constance looked at her in surprise.

  “Lilliana! Is everything all right?”

  “Yes. I just wanted to ...” She peered around Constance towards the door.

  “You want to see Amon?”

  “I just wanted to ask him something. Nothing important. Did anything happen?”

  Constance smiled; it looked a little sorry.

  “Nothing we wouldn’t know. Amon’s not doing so well, he’s been lying down.”

  “And the man who was here just now ...?”

  “... is his personal doctor.” Constance put on that pained smile again and Lilli decided not to press her further. Was that supposed to mean that the king was ill? Or was he regularly unwell because these old memories tormented him?

  Nothing we wouldn’t know ...

  But she felt that it was none of her business and Amon’s sister was also unwilling to talk to her about it any further.

  “Well, I’ll just come back tomorrow. I’m going to bed. Good night.”

  “Good night, Lilliana.” Constance nodded to her and then turned to go.

  Hesitantly, Lilli also went back down the stairs and stopped on the first landing as if she had bumped into an invisible wall. Down there, at the foot of the last staircase, stood someone. Silent and unmoving.