by C. Y. Croc
“Fine!”
Was her voice edged with disappointment? My mind is whirling. I don’t know where I stand with her. Alien women seem just as complicated as women from Earth. I slide out of her bed onto my bedding on the floor and pull the covers over me. Bupple happily snuggles into my body, only I wished it was Saaxx.
I fall into a restless sleep. I’m in the village again. Women and children run away screaming and their men join into one big group armed and ready to defend their loved ones.
It’s my father who speaks but his words cut me deep. “We don’t want to fight. We just want her and her offspring! When they are dead there can once again be peace amongst us.”
I’m looking at him in disbelief. I thought we were just here to seize her. To lock her up for what she is. In my gut, although I haven’t yet seen her with my own eyes I know she’s different from us. But her only crime is she seduced a man not of her kind and bore his child. But I can’t understand the wrong in this if they are in love.
There is a kerfuffle behind the men defending their families and a woman and small girl are brought forward crying. Like before I can’t see their faces. A hazy glow formed from my mind’s eye blocks them from me.
“Please, I beg you. Spare my child! She is born innocent to beliefs. Look at her! She looks no different from the other children here!”
I try my best to remove the fog but it remains firmly in front of her face.
Ulsis, second in command to my father steps forward. “We have come for two lives and we will not leave until two lives have been claimed.”
A male forces his way through. “I am the father and it was me who took advantage of this female and not the other way around. Take my life but I beg you...spare theirs!”
Ulsis crosses his arms defiantly. “I stand by what I say! Two lives will only satisfy my council.”
Another man from the crowd in the village people steps forward and places his hand on the father of the child. “I promise we will do the young female no harm. As one of the heads of our council I request to use my one time claim to legalize this ruling. I declare the offspring of this couple will be allowed to remain on their lands and no harm will come to her by our hands if you also promise the same. Only then will we hand over her parents.”
The father puts his hand on top of the other man and squeezes it, as he simultaneously grabs the woman’s hand and does the same to her. She turns her face to him and I so wished the haze would move so that I can see their features.
The girl is sobbing and the mother turns to her, pulling her into her bosom. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. I know you’ll grow up into a wonderful woman and we are already so proud of the person you’ve become. But always be true to who you are...mine and your father’s daughter...a halfbreed!”
My father nods his answer to the other clan’s male’s request and members of my clan surge forward and claim the couple. The young girl's screams pierce through the uproar of noise.
I awaken to my own screams covered in sweat. Saaxx jumps from her bed and cradles me against her naked breasts. “Shshshshsh! It’s just a dream!”
I throw my arms around her tiny waist and bury myself in her, my heart is hammering. “It was so real...!”
DAYLIGHT STEAMING IN and shining on my face wakes me. My instant thoughts are of Saaxx and I turn to face her but she’s no longer by my side and Bupple is missing too.
I shoot up into a sitting position feeling like a million dollars, then jump to my feet and quickly pull on my clothes. I spot a plate of food and a drink left on the table next to her empty one and I sit down at the table and wolf it down, my mind going over everything that happened between us last night as I eat. It had been so utterly perfect. She is the Yin to my Yang, but I got the feeling she’d instantly regretted being intimate with me. But when I’d woken from the terrible dream screaming, she’d been there in an instant, a contradiction to her earlier words.
When I’m finished, I carry the plates and cups over to the counter and then head eagerly out the door. Amazingly, after such a short amount of time, I’m physically back to my old self again. My weight is miraculously now what it was, if not more, and my back and limbs are strong—I feel good.
My gait has also returned to normal and I quickly navigate the journey we’d made the evening before in the cart, and I head to the first job Saaxx had pointed out to me on the tour.
When I reach the building I stretch my arms and roll my neck and walk up to the huge circular stone with my jaw set in determination. I place my hands flat on the side of it and push. At first, it doesn’t budge and I think I’ve been premature with the diagnosis of my recovery, but then it starts to roll and I almost sigh out loud in relief.
When the doorway is covered, I check around the perimeter of the building and climb up the stone to check the roof. All is well and I can see nothing else to fix so I jump down and continue on the route she’d shown me yesterday to get to the byres.
I look up at the teal sky and puffy pink clouds and then drop my eyes back down to marvel at the different foliage that I pass, hardly believing I’m on a different planet, perhaps millions of light-years away from Earth. Would I attempt to go back if I get the chance? Right now I’m divided with my planet loyalty. Fifty percent of me wants my brain to recover from the PTSD that has plagued me for the last fifteen years so that I can regain my memories and hopefully recall who my parents are. But now fifty percent of me is saying fuck it! If you haven’t got them back by now you never will, stay here with Saaxx.
Rounding a bend lined with red-barked trees and black leaves I halt in shock for a moment when I see Saaxxatee surrounded by a group of alien men. Then without a second thought to my own safety, I race over to her defence.
Saaxxatee
I’M THE FIRST TO AWAKE and I stare down at Tex, studying everything on his face. From the tiny black hairs that line his eyes, his strong straight nose, to the indentation in the centre of his chin. There’s not one bit of him that I don’t like.
For a moment I’d lost it. I’d let my pheromones and the bizarre way they affected my body and mind take control of my thought process. I’d abandoned all rationale and had done the most amazing sexual things with him. But then as soon as that exhilarating feeling had washed through my body, cleaning all of my desires away, I’d come to my senses immediately and thought I’d lost all my independence by mating with him. I was so relieved to find out that what we’d done hadn’t even been the mating act. I’d shut down on him faster than a dead kiac falling from the sky, turning my back on him in shame. A terrible thing to do, but something I needed to do to gain control again.
When he’d made the excuse to lie with Bupple I’d been both relieved and hurt. I’d lain awake listening to his breathing, wondering what he was thinking. Finally, falling to sleep with a knot in my stomach, only to be awakened yet again by his screams of panic. I hadn’t at all been surprised when I found myself comforting him, but it had left me wondering what ghosts also plagued him.
I was glad when he hadn’t woken up when I ate my morning meal. I need a bit more time to myself to assess how I’m feeling. I’ve been on my own for so long that having someone here twenty-four seven is a big adjustment, and even bigger after doing intimate acts together.
Heading for the byres with Bupple at my heels, I think back to the time I wasn’t alone—the time when I lived here with my parents. I used to walk these exact steps with my father every morning as my mother made our first meal of the day. We’d head out to the byres to see if any of the livestock’s nips had been born during the night. How excited I’d be holding onto my father’s hand. We used to sing a song on our way there that mother had taught us. How did it go?
“Old MacDonald had a farm,
E-I-E-I-O.
And on his farm he had some chicks,
E-I-E-I-O.
With a chick, chick here,
And a chick, chick there,
Here a chick, there a chick,
&nb
sp; Everywhere a chick, chick,
Old MacDonald had a farm,
E-I-E-I-O.”
I never found out what a chick was.
Bupple begins to make his warning clicking sound in his throat and I look up to see what is getting him riled.
A cold shiver runs the length of my spine when I see who and what it is. Up ahead leaning on the byre of the pijjits is Boraf, with the two males I’d seen at the sooq, standing just meriks away from him. One of them has two dalmirs on leashes and they sniff the air when they see me and worse, their shiny black skin begins to glow grey when they spot Bupple, and long yellow fangs descend from their slim pointy jaws.
I contemplate turning around and sprinting back to my dwelling, there’s something menacing about them, and why would they bring dalmirs to a place that keeps livestock?
Taking a deep breath I put on a brave face and walk towards them. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon, Boraf. Is it pijjits you want this time?”
He sneers and pushes off from the Byre. Remaining silent he takes a few steps forward so he’s standing next to the males and their vicious pets.
“We want something different... Something that’s not for sale.”
My legs become boneless and refuse to walk another step. Bupple looks up at me and senses my fear, his spines begin to rise and he emits a deep throat warning.
“Th-There’s nothing I’m willing to give up and nothing I’m selling today either, so turn around and go! Get off my property now!”
One of the males reaches down and unclicks the leashes of the dalmirs. A sick feeling washes over me and I instantly fear for Bupple’s life. One to one he would have a fighting chance, but with two of them.
I spin on my heels and begin to run in the opposite direction, motioning animatedly for Bupple to come with me. “Come Bupple, come! Let’s go!” But he doesn’t follow me, he stands his ground. My voice is edging on hysteria as I stop running five meriks from him. “Bupple! Come!”
Then I hear the gut-wrenching sounds of the dalmirs, as they let out snarls warning of their imminent advance. One of the males gives a command to the dalmirs and they shoot forward, running at Bupple. I begin to run back to Bupple but instead of staying put, he charges off towards them too.
“Bupple! No!”
The three pets meet in a cloud of dust and an amalgam of roars and shrieks. I find the missing bones in my legs and sprint at high speed towards the battling creatures, vomit ready to erupt and fists ready to fight. But the two males get to me first and grab an arm each. I try to kick and head-butt my way out, anything to break free and get to Bupple but they hold me tight.
I hear a shriek come from the fighting pack and see one of the dalmirs limp away from the fight injured. Bupple’s victory fuels my desire to fight and I manage to spin around and push my head bone into one of the male’s chest.
He releases me and walks towards his injured pet. “Fucking whore!” But Boraf steps up from nowhere and takes his place.
His command sickens me to my core. “Pull her onto the ground! I’ll go first being as it was my idea.”
They pull me down but even though I’m struggling, I have no concern for my wellbeing, only Bupple. The other male holding me brings his face close to mine. “Remember me from the sooq? I told you you’d be sorry for your reply, didn’t I?” He sniffs me like I’m smoked chigmut meat on a sooq stall.
Boraf’s hands grab roughly at my mambas. “I told you she smelt good didn’t I Drety?”
More hands force my legs apart and sharp nails dig into my cooch. What they are doing feels nothing like Tex and I know it is very wrong.
“Stop! I don’t want you to touch me!”
Boraf’s laugh sends my fangs on edge. “You have no choice. You are just a female!”
Suddenly, Boraf lifts off me with a squeal, his arms and legs thrashing and he flies through the air. My mouth drops open as the one called Drety releases me and stands and turns to see Tex behind him, equal in height but with shoulders far wider.
“She told you to stop, and where I come from, if a woman says no, you fucking listen and stop!”
Tex draws his huge fist back and punches Drety clean on the jaw. But his small victory is lost when Drety’s friend comes up behind Tex and grabs his arms, pinning them down by his sides and giving the other two males a chance to recover. Two nodes are all they need and they are standing in front of Tex taking it in turns to pummel his face and gut.
I scramble to my feet and look from Bupple still fighting with one of the one dalmirs to the three males laying into Tex. Who needs my help the most? But before I have time to choose, the other dalmir shrieks in pain and falls to the ground. Bupple rushes over and charges into the back of Boraf’s leg. He cries out and arches his back. I seize my chance and roundhouse a kick into the side of Drety’s face. The force of it pushes him over to the side. His friend sees that both of his pets and both of his companions are injured and releases Tex. He falls to the ground on his knees clutching his side.
There’s a moment of chaos where the males pick themselves up and with their pets, they sprint off behind the byres. I turn my attention back to my brave males. But both aren’t fairing very well. Tex has collapsed into a pile with red liquid oozing from his side, and Bupple is in a heap by his side with spines torn from his body.
I drop onto my knees with eyes almost popping out as I assess the damage. Both are in immediate need of medical attention. The red liquid keeps on trickling from a hole in Tex’s side and I have no way of stopping it.
Bupple’s injuries are bad and they could have been so much worse, but the terrifying thing is, I have no idea if either of their injuries is life-threatening.
Tex is barely conscious. “Tex! I’m going to run back to get the dray, then I’ll take you to Minette. She can help, she’ll have balm.”
I sprint back to my dwelling, my heart hammering inside my ribcage. I don’t want to think about it but I’d seen that red liquid before and until now, my mind had blocked the terrifying image of the last time I’d seen it.
As I run my face becomes wet and I touch my cheeks. Clear liquid is watering from my eyes.
And then an image plays out in front of my eyes as I run, as clear as day.
It’s the sooq fayre. We’ve dressed in our best clothes and rode to the township in the dray. Father to my right holding the harness, and mother to my left. We’re singing one of mother’s songs from the place where she used to live before she came here and met father.
We’re so happy. Mother and father are talking about how I would feel about having a sibling. They are telling me that after the fayre they have some very exciting news to tell me, but today is going to be all about me. They want this doon to be my doon, a doon I’ll never forget.
The fayre is busy. There are many families and many nips I’ve never seen before. We get some odd glares but I think it’s just because we are such a happy family. Maybe the families here aren’t as lucky as we are.
Mother lets me go and play with the other nips for a while why they buy essentials. I’m told to meet back at the dray in a hinc.
But after just a short time playing, males from a different clan come running towards us. All the nips are screaming, and I go in search of my parents.
I stop by the dray panting, shaking my head. I refuse to see any more. Refuse my brain to push the unwanted memories on me.
Fetching Piff from his Byre at the back of the dwelling, I put a harness on him and hook him up to the dray, then I drive Piff and the dray as fast as I can to Tex and Bupple.
I lift Bupple into the back of the dray first. He whimpers as I set him down and I swear he’s losing his body heat.
Tex is a struggle. He’s now unconscious and so much heavier than he was just doons ago. I get a piece of tarpaulin and lay it out alongside him then roll him onto it. A red trail of liquid follows him from the ground to the centre and my heart misses a beat. That can’t be good. I pull the tarpaulin over to the dray an
d then stand panting eyeing the height from the ground to the dray.
How in damnation am I going to do this?
There is only one way—brute strength. I kneel on the ground and pull Tex up into a sitting position by his arms. Then I pull him over my shoulder. My body buckles under his weight but I grit my teeth and push onto my feet. Then straining and screaming out with effort I slowly stand just enough to sit Tex onto the back of the dray. I lower his body down and instantly feel light-headed. As soon as it passes I climb up onto the dray and take hold of his arms again, then I drag him until his legs are on.
I collapse back against the seat spent, but there is no time to stop and rest. Climbing over I sit on the seat and grab the harness. “Go Piff as fast as you can choo-choo!”
Piff takes off as a clap of thunder rinds out in the sky. Oh no, that’s all we need!
We ride on, as the sky liquid drenches us and it’s so much heavier than the other night. I look back at Tex and Bupple but neither one are conscious. Tex’s tan skin has become grey and it stirs an uneasy feeling in my gut. I look across to Bupple. His breathing is slow but it stays that way and doesn’t worsen; a small blessing and at least he’s not awake to hear the crashes of thunder.
Although it feels like three hincs, we arrive at Minette’s dwelling in just under a hinc.
I jump from the dray and bang at the door, pink lightning lights up the sky behind me.
“Mimette! Mimette! It’s Saaxxatee. Open up I need your help!”
The door unlocks and flings open and a startled Mimette stands there with her male Kerty by her side.
“Saaxxatee! What are doing out in this storm?”
“I need your help! Bupple and a male have been injured by three other males who were at my dwelling.”
I run over to the dray and they follow me. Mimette gasps when she sees Tex.
