I'm a fool to kill you rp-5

by Robert Randisi

  ‘What else was in the room?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean was there any luggage, yours or anyone else’s? Any room service trays, bottles, anything to indicate someone else was in the room with you, or how many people were in the room?’

  ‘Well, it did look there’d been a party. Trays, plates, bottles, overflowing ashtrays. .’

  ‘Anyone else’s clothes?’

  ‘No,’ she said, ‘only a suitcase of mine. The one I have with me now. It just has a few clean clothes in it, and some toiletries.’

  ‘Did you think about calling the police then?’

  ‘Why? Because I got so drunk I couldn’t remember those two days?’

  ‘The blood on your clothes might have given your story a bit more weight than that.’

  ‘No,’ she said, ‘there’d be publicity.’

  ‘Ava, no offense,’ I said, ‘but with some of the things you’ve pulled I never thought bad publicity was a concern of yours.’

  ‘I was worried,’ she said, ‘I might have done something. . bad.’

  ‘So you packed up and left? You didn’t check out, did you?’

  ‘No,’ she said.

  ‘Was the room registered to you?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I don’t think so.’

  Even if it was, the cops wouldn’t be looking for her, not just for running out on a hotel bill. And if they were they would have gone to the studio.

  The Studio.

  MGM.

  If somebody was after her for legal reasons the studio would know.

  ‘I’ll have to talk to someone at the studio, Ava,’ I said. ‘To find out if the police are looking for you.’

  ‘I don’t know how helpful that will be’ she said. ‘I haven’t made a film for them in some years. They pretty much either released or lost all their contract players in 1960. Things have changed in Hollywood.’

  ‘Still, if anyone — like the police — was looking for you, they’d probably go there.’

  ‘Well, they always covered for me, including the time in Louis Mayer’s office when I hit Howard Hughes with an ashtray and he dislocated my jaw.’

  ‘Howard was begging to be my fourth husband,’ she went on, ‘but that was not going to happen. We were even more volatile together than Frank and I were — or are.’

  That story might have been interesting at another time.

  ‘OK,’ I said, ‘let’s get back to you. You left the hotel in New York and did what?’

  ‘Came here.’

  ‘Don’t you have a house here in L.A.?’

  ‘I didn’t want to go there,’ she said. ‘I was afraid someone would find me. I didn’t go back to Spain for the same reason.’

  ‘What did you do when you got here?’

  ‘I sat up all night, stayed hidden all day, sat up all night again, and then the next morning — yesterday — I decided to go to Vegas to ask Frank for help. I went to the airport and got on the first flight.’

  ‘Why not call him?’

  She hesitated, then said, ‘I–I wanted to see him.’

  ‘So you walked into the Sands, saw him in the lobby-’

  ‘With Nancy and Tina.’

  ‘-and ran out, came back here.’

  ‘I was lucky there happened to be another flight back to L.A. when I got to the airport.’

  ‘And you came right back here?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Didn’t talk to anyone?’

  ‘No,’ she said, ‘well, only the hotel manager, and the clerk. But no one else until you arrived.’

  That meant if whoever attacked Larry was after me, they must have found out about me from the clerk, or the manager, or both.

  And if they were willing to sell my name, wouldn’t they be more than willing to make some money selling Ava Gardner’s?

  ‘I think it’s time to get some rest,’ I said.

  ‘What are we going to do tomorrow?’ she asked.

  ‘Well, I want to go to the studio and talk to somebody — maybe Mayer himself — and then I’ll come back here and get you.’

  ‘Get me. . to do what?’

  ‘I want to take you someplace safe while we try to figure out what you did during those forty hours.’

  ‘Someplace safe, like where?’

  ‘I think I should take you back to Las Vegas with me.’

  ‘To see Frank?’ I couldn’t tell if her tone was hopeful or not.

  ‘I don’t know, Ava,’ I said. ‘Right now I’m just thinkin’ about keepin’ you safe.’

  ‘You’re very sweet,’ she said, stroking my cheek.

  She stood up and walked to the bedroom door, then turned and said to me in her most innocent tone, ‘Come to bed, Eddie.’

  TWENTY-THREE

  Believe me, I was determined nothing was going to happen. After all, she was Frank’s ex, and he was my friend and — even more than that — he was Frank Sinatra. He’d blown his stack at Peter Lawford one time for just being seen with Ava.

  Ava’s sexual appetites were legendary, awakened — so she said — by the time she spent married to Mickey Rooney. She’d been a nineteen-year-old virgin when they got married, and the first time they had sex it had awakened something inside of her. Their marriage didn’t last, but her love of sex did.

  Among her many conquests had been actors, singers, sports figures, bull fighters, artists. . you name it. So what chance did a lowly pit boss have against that kind of sexuality?

  I mean, it was Ava Gardner, right?

  Ava had been right. The bed was king-sized and, as we went to sleep, there was a lot of space between us. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about the smell of sex coming from every pore of her body, which had me hard from the moment I met her. Being in bed with her — albeit with me on one end and her on the other — was painful!

  When I woke up light was streaming in through the window, and I noticed two things. Ava had closed the distance between us. Her head was on my shoulder, and her body was plastered to mine. The second thing I noticed was that she was totally naked.

  I looked down at her, drinking in what seemed to be acres of beautiful female flesh. Her breasts were pressed up against me, and I could feel her nipples poking into my arm. I had gone to sleep in my boxers and t-shirt, and my painful erection had worked its way out the front of my underwear. I felt like Tom Ewell in a Marilyn Monroe movie, only this was real, and it wasn’t Marilyn — who I had come to think of as a little sister — but Ava Gardner, who was nothing like any relative on my family tree.

  She moaned and stretched, and her eyes opened. She commented on the first thing she saw.

  ‘Oh my, Eddie. .’

  ‘Ava,’ I said, ‘you’re naked.’

  ‘I couldn’t sleep until I took everything off,’ she said. ‘I hope you don’t mind.’

  ‘Ava-’

  ‘It doesn’t look like you mind.’

  ‘Ava-’

  Without another word she took me in her hand and began to stroke my hard penis.

  ‘Ava!’

  ‘Shut up, Eddie,’ she said, sliding down, ‘just shut up. .’

  It seemed like hours later we were lying side-by-side, both naked now, sweating and out of breath.

  ‘Eddie, Eddie. .’ she said, breathlessly.

  I had never been with a sexual animal like Ava Gardner. All of my resolve disappeared once she had me in her mouth, and then when we were both naked all I wanted was. . well, all of her. This was a Goddess I was in bed with, and who knew if and when I’d ever have an experience like this again. I used everything — my dick, my mouth, my hands — everything I had to enjoy her, and she was like a wild animal, whether she was on top or on the bottom.

  Or on the side. .

  Or on all fours. .

  She kissed me on the shoulder and said, ‘I need a shower.’

  She got out of bed and padded to the bathroom. I watched her majestic butt until she was gone, and then when the water
was running I finally came to me senses.

  How the hell would I ever explain this to Frank?

  TWENTY-FOUR

  When I came out of the shower, wearing a terrycloth robe that had been hanging on the back of the door, Ava was seated at the table with a pot of coffee, two cups, and some pastries.

  ‘I called room service,’ she said. ‘I don’t have anything here in the kitchen.’

  ‘This is great,’ I said.

  I sat down and poured myself a cup, grabbed a Danish.

  ‘Eddie,’ she said, ‘don’t feel bad. I had a great time. Didn’t you?’

  ‘It was fabulous,’ I said, ‘but that doesn’t mean I won’t feel guilty.’

  ‘Why? Because of Frank?’

  ‘Well, yeah!’

  ‘I’ve been with men since Frank, and he’s certainly been with women since me. What’s the problem?’

  ‘Frank’s my friend,’ I said. ‘I don’t sleep with my friend’s wives.’

  ‘Ex-wife.’

  ‘That, either.’

  ‘Well,’ she said, looking at me with those big green eyes and nibbling on a pastry, ‘if it’s any consolation, I practically raped you.’

  ‘Yeah, you did,’ I said, ‘but I think I got into it, eventually.’

  ‘Yeah, you did,’ she said, with a deep-throated giggle.

  I laughed, too, and then the tension seemed to break.

  ‘What are your plans for today?’ she asked.

  ‘Well, I was going to go over to MGM.’

  ‘And you’ve changed your mind?’

  ‘I’m worried about leaving you alone, here,’ I said. ‘If I knew you’d be safe-’

  ‘And how can you know that?’ she asked.

  ‘By having somebody watch you.’

  ‘Like who?’

  ‘That’s the problem.’

  I thought about Fred Otash again, the Hollywood P.I., but he lived for publicity. Bodyguarding Ava Gardner would be too tempting not to talk about it.

  ‘I’ll have to try to think of somebody,’ I said.

  At that point there was a knock at the door. In fact it was a pounding. I got up and walked over, gathering the robe around me.

  ‘I’ll have to make some calls, see if I can come up with-’ I was saying to her as I opened the door. I stopped short when I saw who was standing on the doorstep.

  ‘Hey, Mr G.,’ Jerry Epstein said. He looked me up and down. ‘How’s it hangin’?’

  TWENTY-FIVE

  ‘Jerry, what the hell-’ I said, shocked.

  ‘Mr S. called me and said you need help,’ the big man said. ‘He got me on a red eye and told me to come here. So here I am.’

  ‘Come on in, Jerry. It’s good to see you, big guy.’

  ‘Good to see you, too, Mr G.,’ he said, pumping my hand. ‘I was surprised when Mr S. said I had to come out to L.A. I thought you’d had enough of this place since Miss Monroe died.’

  ‘Yeah, I did,’ I said, ‘but something came up. Did Frank tell you what’s going on?’

  ‘Nope. Just told me to get here. Said you was staying here with some broad named Lucy Johnson.’

  ‘Well, Jerry,’ I said, walking him to the table where Ava was sitting in her silk robe, ‘meet Lucy Johnson.’

  ‘Pleased ta meet ya, Miss Johnson. Jeez, you sure look a lot like that broad who was in that movie — the one in the jungle with Clark Gable?’

  ‘Mogambo,’ I said.

  ‘Yeah, right,’ Jerry said. ‘That’s it. Ya look like. . Ava Gardner!’

  ‘Really?’ Ava asked, playfully. ‘Don’t you think I’m prettier than her?’

  ‘Uh, well. .’ Jerry looked at me for help. He wasn’t very good talking to women, unless they were waitresses or whores. ‘. . sure, sure, you are. . Mr G.?’

  ‘Jerry,’ I said, ‘this is Ava Gardner.’

  Jerry gaped at me, then at her.

  ‘You was playin’ games with me,’ he said to her, finally.

  ‘Yes, I was,’ she said, ‘and I’m sorry, Jerry.’ She stood up and Jerry averted his eyes because the flimsy robe was clinging to her. ‘Eddie, I’ll go get dressed and you can talk to Jerry.’

  ‘OK, Ava.’

  We both watched her walk to the bedroom door, closing it behind her.

  ‘Jesus, Mr G.,’ Jerry said, ‘are you nuts? You shackin’ up with Mr S.’s wife?’

  ‘Ex-wife,’ I said, ‘and it’s not what you think. Frank sent me here. Frank sent me to help Ava. She’s in some kind of trouble.’

  ‘Mr S. knows you’re here with her?’

  ‘Well, he sent you here, didn’t he?’

  ‘Uh, yeah, I guess he did.’

  ‘Sit down, Jerry,’ I said. ‘Let me fill you in. .’

  TWENTY-SIX

  If I’d had my pick of somebody to watch over Ava I would have picked Jerry Epstein, my big leg-breaker buddy from Brooklyn. He’d had my back in most of the things I’ve done for Frank, Dean and Sammy. It just didn’t occur to me to call him out to L.A. for this. I was glad Frank had thought of it. At least now I knew Ava would be safe when I went to the studio.

  ‘So, jeez, she can’t remember forty hours?’ Jerry said when I was done.

  ‘It might come back to her,’ I said, ‘but meanwhile I’d like to find out what happened during that time. She’s afraid she might have hurt somebody.’

  ‘Or killed ’em?’

  ‘Yeah, that, too.’

  ‘So whataya want me to do, Mr G.?’

  ‘Stay with Ava, keep her safe.’

  ‘From who?’

  ‘From anybody,’ I said. ‘I don’t want anyone in here, Jerry. Not even hotel personnel.’ I added to what I had already told him that I didn’t think we could trust the manager or the desk clerk.

  ‘One of them gave me up,’ I said, ‘and the cab driver caught my beatin’.’

  ‘So nobody in?’ he asked. ‘And nobody out?’

  ‘Out? Ava won’t go out. You don’t have to worry about that.’

  ‘Can I-’ he started, then stopped.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Can I order something from room service?’ he asked. ‘I’m pretty hungry.’

  ‘Sure, Jerry,’ I said. ‘Order anything you want. All the pancakes you want.’

  ‘Thanks, Mr G. Food any good here?’

  ‘Not great, but I’ve only tried the steak and hamburger platter.’

  ‘OK, then,’ he said. ‘I’ll get some pancakes, maybe some bacon. And coffee. Think Miss Gardner would want anything?’

  ‘Ask her,’ I said.

  ‘I can. . talk to her?’

  ‘Sure, Jerry,’ I said. ‘She talks.’

  ‘Mr G., this ain’t gonna be like Miss Monroe, is it?’ he asked.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You know, how she got to be like. . a sister? You pretty much ruined her for me, ya know?’

  ‘That’s not gonna be a problem this time, Jerry,’ I said. ‘Trust me. Ava Gardner’s not your little sister.’

  ‘Good,’ he said.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Ava asked, coming out of the bedroom. She was wearing a tight skirt and a chunky sweater. The combination sort of said ‘look, but don’t look’.

  ‘Ava, Jerry’s gonna stay with you. You can trust him like you’d trust me.’

  ‘I just met you yesterday, Eddie,’ she reminded me.

  ‘I know,’ I said, ‘but Frank vouched for me, and I vouch for Jerry. He’s got a big appetite, though. You gotta feed him to keep him happy.’

  ‘He looks like he’d take some feeding.’

  ‘Just a couple of dozen pancakes,’ I said.

  ‘Are you kidding?’

  ‘Watch him,’ I said. ‘Meanwhile, I’m gonna go over to the studio and find out if anyone’s lookin’ for you.’

  ‘And if they’re not?’

  ‘That’ll be good news.’

  ‘Will it?’ she asked.

  ‘It’s always good news if the cops ain’t lookin’ for ya, Miss Gardne
r.’

  ‘Just call me Ava, Jerry,’ she said.

  Jerry looked away and said, ‘I can’t do that, Miss Gardner. Mr G.’ll tell ya that.’

  ‘Mr G?’ Ava said, looking at me. ‘Is he for fuckin’ real?’

  ‘Can’t get him to call me Eddie,’ I said. ‘Been trying for a couple of years. Yep, Jerry’s for real. What you see is what you get, pretty much.’

  ‘OK,’ she said, ‘then call me Miss G. . no, you call Eddie Mr G.. It would get confusing. Call me. . Miss Ava. OK, Jerry?’

  ‘I could do that, Miss Gar — Miss Ava.’ He smiled like a lovesick kid.

  A big kid.

  Jerry walked me out to Larry’s cab. I had Ava’s bloody clothes wrapped in the towel under my arm.

  ‘Not as good as your Caddy, Mr G,’ Jerry said, looking disappointed.

  ‘No, but it’ll get me where I want to go. I’ll give it back to Larry when he gets out.’

  ‘When’ll that be?’

  ‘Probably a week or so. But I’ll probably give it back to him sooner. I want to get Ava to Vegas.’

  ‘Gonna fly?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Maybe we’ll rent a car and drive.’

  ‘I liked that drive last time,’ he said.

  ‘Yup, but that was in the Caddy,’ I reminded him.

  I opened the door to the cab to get in.

  ‘Can I ask ya a question, Mr G.?’

  ‘Sure, Jerry.’

  ‘You said the cabbie got beat up because he picked up a call for you?’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘Well, somebody musta been watchin’, and heard him pick up the call, figured he was you, right? Which meant they was lookin’ for ya?’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘So how’d they know you was here?’ Jerry asked.

  ‘I’m figuring either the desk clerk or manager gave me up.’

  ‘So you told them your name when you got here?’

  I thought for a moment, then looked at him and said, ‘Jerry, did you know you’re a genius?’

  ‘I ain’t no genius, Mr G.,’ he said. ‘I just sometimes know what questions ta ask.’

  TWENTY-SEVEN