Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star

by Heather Lynn Rigaud

  She lifted up her head, took a sip, and stared at the recently closed door for a long time. Then her eyes drifted to Jane’s door, still shut, where she and Charles were sleeping. She wasn’t thinking just then, or even feeling. She was just observing. She did some simple mathematical calculations in her head, and nodding at the result, she walked alone to her empty room and shut the door.

  ***

  Charles lay down and stared out into the semidarkness. He was surprised to feel Jane snuggle up close to him. “I thought you were still asleep,” he said softly.

  “I missed you,” she sighed. “And I thought I heard voices in the other room. Is everything all right?”

  Charles grinned slightly. “Oh, you know how Lizzy is until she gets her coffee. We’re going to have a planning meeting in a little bit. That’s all.” He turned his head to look at her, gently smoothing her hair away from her face. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Better,” she smiled. “My headache has gone away, and I feel much better.”

  “That’s great!” he said softly, pulling her shoulders close in a tight hug. He could see in her eyes she wasn’t quite as good as she was making herself out to be, but the fact that she was well enough to lie for his comfort was a sign of improvement. He hesitated a moment, knowing he had to ask what he didn’t want to. “Do you want me to go now?” he asked with a deliberate ease.

  “No!” she cried, then she looked away, embarrassed. “I mean, if you want to stay, that would be fine, but you don’t have to.”

  Charles smiled at their clumsiness. “I don’t want to go anywhere,” he told her, his eyes filled with emotions that seemed beyond words, and then his eyes clouded as he struggled with his feelings. “Jane, I tried to leave you before, when we first got into the hotel. But I kept having flashbacks of you passed out on the stage, and I couldn’t leave. I had to be here, to touch you, and to know that you’re okay.” He looked down, looking at his hand holding hers. “It sounds like I’m being some kind of hero, staying with you to help out, but in fact I’m being very selfish.” He looked at her and tilted his head. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Jane.”

  She smiled as only Jane could, a smile of pure joy. “That’s okay. I’m glad you stayed, Charles. Thank you,” she said in a low voice that carried so much more than gratitude. “I’m very happy to be stuck with you.”

  They looked at each other for a long time, simply smiling and pleased with what they had shared. “So,” Charles continued, after a suitable time, “do you want to go back to sleep, or do you want to get up?”

  “I’ll get up now,” Jane answered pleasantly, yet not showing any inclination to move from her spot cuddled up against him.

  “Good. Maybe after breakfast we could go outside.” He looked at her caringly, gently touching her face. “You could use a little sun, sunshine.”

  Jane smiled back, then her face fell and her hand grazed the bandage on her forehead. “I, I don’t want to go out, Charles,” she said hesitatingly.

  “I was just thinking we could sit by the hotel pool. I know you can’t—”

  “No!” she snapped. “I don’t want to go out!” she said violently. She looked away from him and Charles could feel her trembling. “I don’t want anyone to see me like this.”

  “Jane? What’s wrong?” he asked cautiously.

  “It’s just,” she hesitated, emotions flying across her face. “I was always the pretty one,” she said brokenly. “Everyone always said, ‘Look at that pretty girl.’ And my parents and everyone always loved me because I was beautiful,” her voice was thick with anguish. “I know it sounds stupid and conceited, but that’s who I was. That was the way I stood out from my sisters. And now I feel like I’m ruined, Charles. I’m not beautiful anymore. I’m afraid to go out there. I know that everyone is going to look at me like I’m a freak and say, ‘Oh, hey, there’s that girl who fell down at a concert. Look, she’s got a scar just like Harry Potter!’” She began weeping softly.

  Charles pulled her close, partially to comfort her and partially to hide the grin he couldn’t repress. When the tide of Jane’s tears subsided, he knew what he needed to say.

  “Jane, look at me.” He loosened his embrace only enough so that she could see his face. “Jane, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Without question, the most beautiful,” he added for emphasis. “And it’s not because of your eyes or your face or your body or any other part. It’s because of your heart.” He paused a moment, waiting to be sure that she heard him, and then he continued solemnly. “Jane, you could have a hundred scars on your face, and that wouldn’t make you any less beautiful or change how I feel about you.

  “I’ve been thinking about this since I met you, and what happened last night just made it clear to me. I know what I feel for you isn’t going to change in a week or a day or a year. Jane, I love you.” He paused and grinned shyly. “I have since the day we met, the day I asked you to sing with me.”

  Jane’s eyes brimmed with tears again, and she smiled with heartbreaking happiness. “Charles?” she sobbed as she retreated back into the warmth of his arms. He held her close, relishing the feel of her soft body against his and the scent of her hair. Tilting her chin up with his hand, Charles kissed her with a slow passion. She responded with everything she had, trying to give to him the words she couldn’t yet say.

  He broke off, and Jane sighed in pleasure. Charles looked at the white piece of gauze taped to her head, considering. His fingers gently traced the edge of it as he told her softly, “I know this is scary, Jane. But I’m going to be here with you, and it’s going to be okay. We are going to get through this together.”

  “You will be with me, as long as I need you?”

  “Sunshine, I will be with you as long as I need you, and that will be a very, very long time.”

  She smiled again, and Charles wished he could freeze the moment; her joy was so beautiful and perfect. He was able to rein in the desire he felt easily, knowing it wasn’t time yet. He wanted her, but he wanted her whole, in both her body and her spirit; he wanted her to be able to give herself to him. Waiting was not a problem at all. Reluctantly, he released her and stood.

  “I’m going to throw some clean clothes on before the meeting.” He looked at the clock. “I’ve got ten minutes. Think I can make it?”

  Jane laughed. “No.”

  He smiled back before kissing her soundly. “Love you,” he told her and he was away.

  Jane looked at the door he had just closed and sighed happily.

  ***

  When Elizabeth came out of her room, Darcy was sitting on the couch. The shower had helped her calm down, and she walked easily to the coffee machine to refill her cup. “How’s Jane doing?” he asked in his low voice.

  Elizabeth smiled politely. “She’s sleeping, last I heard.”

  Darcy nodded. Caroline, Alex, Richard, and Rachel entered the room from the hall in quick succession, relieving them from the burden of trying to make conversation. “Where’s Char?” Alex asked.

  Involuntarily, Elizabeth looked at Richard before answering. “I think she’s still in her room.”

  Alex sighed and banged on her door, calling her name. Darcy stared at Richard, an uncomfortable suspicion growing in his gut.

  A minute later, Charlotte emerged from her room and, with a friendly smile, sat down next to Richard on the sofa. Elizabeth looked at Darcy watching the pair, and she saw his expression turn stony.

  “Okay, I think we can begin,” Caroline said. Before she could say another word, Jane opened the door of her room, and dressed in shorts and a fresh T-shirt, she joined the group.

  “Good morning,” she smiled to everyone.

  “How are you feeling, Jane?” Caroline asked.

  “Better, thanks.”

  “You look better,” Alex said, and the group agreed.

  Jane took a seat next to Elizabeth. “Charles isn’t here yet?”

  Caroline smiled and shook her he
ad. “He’ll be late to his own funeral. Let’s continue; the show for tonight is cancelled, but we’re performing tomorrow.” Caroline reviewed the next week’s schedule while Elizabeth studied her sister. Jane was still plainly injured, but Elizabeth could see a change in her eyes. Jane was glowing, and Elizabeth was filled with a curiosity to know exactly what had happened.

  “Jane’s doctor has said that she is not to perform for a week. So the question is: What are we going to do for the warm-up act?”

  Elizabeth spoke up. “I can do the show.”

  Caroline looked doubtful. “Are you sure, Elizabeth?” While she was talking, Charles quietly entered the room and sat down next to Jane, taking her hand. “We all know you can play, but can you get a set together in a day?”

  Elizabeth considered. “It’s only three more songs. I have that many on the CD. I’ll need time to rehearse, but yes, I think I can do it.”

  “She can do it,” Alex said confidently.

  “What about bass?” Darcy asked. “You’ll need someone to play with you.”

  Elizabeth nodded, conceding his point but not having a ready answer.

  “What about one of the guitar techs? I think Simon can play bass,” Caroline said.

  “I can play,” Charles volunteered.

  “Are you sure?” Caroline asked in a tone that was much more appropriate for a sibling than a manager.

  “I don’t like it,” Darcy said darkly. “Playing the warm-up set and then our show. I think that’ll be too much.”

  Charles looked at Jane, who squeezed his hand, then turned to the others. “It’s not too much. It’s just for one set and it’s only for a week.”

  “I don’t know, Charles,” Caroline frowned. “Maybe we should find someone else.”

  “We don’t have time,” Charles insisted. “I can do it. I know half the songs already.”

  “Excuse me,” Rachel spoke up loudly. “That was Anne,” she announced, as she closed her phone. “She’s on her way with Collins.”

  A mass of groans and rolled eyes accompanied this statement. “Did you tell her not to come?” Darcy asked impatiently.

  “I didn’t get a chance. Her plane just landed.”

  Darcy swore softly.

  “Let me play for Lizzy,” Charles insisted. “If it turns out to be too much, we can try something else.”

  “Maybe in a few days, Jane could start to transition back in by just playing and not singing,” Elizabeth suggested. Jane nodded in agreement.

  “Jane is not going back on until the doctor says she is ready,” Darcy said firmly. “Charles, if you really think you can do it, then go ahead. I’m not going to fight with you on this.”

  “It’ll be fine, Will,” Charles said easily.

  Richard, as usual, had nothing to add. “When are we going to have time to rehearse?” Charlotte asked.

  Lizzy shrugged and looked at Alex and Caroline. “That will depend on our travel schedule,” Alex said.

  “I’m going to work that out, and I will have some answers at breakfast, if that is all right with everyone,” Caroline told them.

  The meeting broke up to regroup ten minutes later in the dining room. Elizabeth found herself alone with Darcy as the room emptied out.

  She noticed the hard set of his jaw. “You’re not happy with this, are you?”

  He shook his head.

  “What would you have done?” she asked, wanting to know if there was an option she didn’t know about.

  “When we had a problem before, I stopped the tour,” he told her flatly.

  “Yes, well, that was fine for the Slurry tour. But being that this is not the LBS tour, I don’t think that’s the answer.”

  He looked away. An idea sprung up in Elizabeth’s head that she knew could not be right. “You would have stopped the tour for us?” she asked incredulously.

  “I did, didn’t I?”

  “But that was just for one night. You can’t stop the whole tour for a week, not for us; that’s crazy.”

  “I know,” he said simply. “That is why we are going on. But I don’t like it.”

  Elizabeth studied him openly. “Can I ask you something?” Her curiosity was risking more trouble, but she had to know.

  Darcy’s head moved down and up once, slowly in response as his eyes held hers.

  “What is your problem with Charles and Jane?” she asked calmly. “I understand being concerned,” she explained. “I know I am, but you seem so virulently opposed to them. I just want to know why.”

  Darcy’s eyes expressed his surprise and interest in her question. “You’re concerned?”

  “Certainly,” Elizabeth affirmed. She paused for the right words. “Jane only sees the best in people. She doesn’t have a healthy sense of doubt. And she and Charles seem to be going really, really fast. I don’t want to see her getting hurt.” She looked up to Darcy challengingly. “But I don’t glare at them every time they are sitting together. Jane is an adult, and unless she asks for my advice, I’m keeping my opinions to myself.”

  “Are you suggesting that I am not?”

  Elizabeth buried the spark of anger that flashed at his words and replied politely, “I’m not suggesting anything. I’m asking why you seem to object to their relationship so strongly.” Her eyes held on to his, not giving an inch.

  Darcy looked away, staring at a distant point while he answered thoughtfully. “Charles is… impulsive when it comes to his relationships with women. He falls in love quickly and he falls hard. It’s no secret that some of his relationships have ended quite badly.”

  “And you think Jane is playing him?” she asked softly.

  “No,” he answered quickly. “But I do worry that this might not last and that we have a very long tour ahead of us. Frankly, Lizzy, I don’t want to lose another opening band.”

  Elizabeth thought carefully. “So you don’t object to Jane herself?”

  “I don’t know Jane,” Darcy answered honestly. “I only met her a month ago. Jane seems like a good person. She’s a pretty girl with a nice voice. But in this business, girls like that are a dime a dozen, and many of them are ambitious enough to do something more to get ahead.”

  His candor surprised Elizabeth. “Is that how you see her? A pretty girl with a nice voice?”

  “At this point, yes,” Darcy answered easily. “The important thing is that even if Jane isn’t in this to advance her career, if she gives off the appearance that she is it could be damaging to both of them.”

  Elizabeth was silent for a long moment. She realized that an answer was required, but she really didn’t want to continue the conversation. “Thank you,” she said, “for answering my question. It’s… thank you.”

  “Do you want to go down for breakfast?” Darcy asked, not understanding her reaction.

  “No,” Elizabeth shook her head. “I’ll wait for Charlotte and Jane,” she said with a weak smile. “Thanks.”

  Darcy looked at her again, his dark eyes searching hers, then he turned and left the room without a word.

  Elizabeth sank to the couch, drew up her knees, and put her head down. She felt like crying, and she had no idea why. She had asked Darcy the question and he had answered her honestly. He was worried about the tour. What more did she expect? He thought of them as “pretty girls with nice voices.” When had she ever believed there might be something more? She was simply a performer, an employee. It was important for him to maintain a good working relationship, but nothing more. When had she ever wanted it to be something more? She detested him, didn’t she?

  It didn’t matter. She hated to admit it, but Darcy was right. They had a long tour in front of them, and a friendly, respectful, and distant relationship was best for everyone. And frankly, she realized as she recalled his interactions with his staff, she was lucky to be getting that, rather than the arrogant way he treated most of the people on the tour.

  ***

  Richard smiled attentively at his companion. Charlotte had frequently fo
und herself sitting beside him. The rest of the tour members were quite willing to leave the drummers alone so that they could eat without the table rattling from Charlotte’s and Richard’s never-ending rhythms.

  This morning was no different from the others, with the exception of a knowing look being exchanged. As Richard ate, Charlotte reported on the morning’s events.

  Richard looked from his plate to the subject of their conversation. “Poor Lizzy,” he commented. “Well, it makes sense she would be a little cranky this morning. After all, she was probably more upset than Jane about the accident.”

  Charlotte nodded. “Plus, now she has the solo show to worry about.”

  “Yeah,” Richard agreed. “She needs to get laid.”

  Charlotte almost spit out her coffee in shock at what she heard. She looked at him and she started laughing, covering her mouth with her hand.

  “I’ve heard it’s very good for relieving stress,” Richard continued, his voice casual.

  Charlotte had to bury her head against his shoulder, she was laughing so hard. When she finally calmed down enough that she could look at him, she said in a forcibly subdued voice, “I’ve heard that.”

  He nodded.

  “Are you volunteering?” she asked saucily.

  “Do you think I should?”

  Charlotte shrugged. “Might help.”

  “If the situation gets desperate, I will. But frankly, I think she would prefer someone else.”

  As one, Richard and Charlotte looked at Darcy, who was ignoring Rachel, who was sitting beside him and talking, and was instead staring at Elizabeth.

  Charlotte nodded in agreement. “And the sad thing is, I don’t think that either of them knows.”

  Richard lifted a single eyebrow. “Oh d’uh! Of course they don’t know.” He paused for a sip of coffee. “And, my dear Charlotte, they would be deeply offended if anyone tried to tell them.”

  “It’s sad, isn’t it? How some people will let feelings get in the way of a good fuck?”

  He looked at her long and hard. “Yeah.” Then he smiled. “That’s what I like about you, dear Charlotte. You know exactly what you want.”