Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star

by Heather Lynn Rigaud

  Elizabeth looked down into her glass. George’s story was so sad, but she had no trouble believing it. He seemed so honest. She could see it happening all too easily, just the way he had told it. She knew the way Darcy had to control everyone around him, and his overprotectiveness of his sister.

  George was somehow nuzzling his lips in her hair, kissing her ear and neck. She turned her face to him, not sure if she wanted him to stop or continue and found him kissing her lips. Surprised, she opened her mouth, and his tongue snaked in to touch hers. Elizabeth was startled by how fast it had happened, but it felt so good, she didn’t resist.

  Suddenly George pulled back. “I’m sorry, Lizzy. That was completely wrong of me.”

  Elizabeth’s hand flew up to her lips. They were hot to her touch. She looked at his face, confused.

  “You probably should go now,” he said, getting up and going to the door.

  Elizabeth left the room, saying a quick good night as she passed him and returned to her own room. There she stopped and sank down on her bed. What had just happened? Her emotions churned. How had she ended up kissing George? What was this new trend of hers to kiss random men? Was she that fickle? And how did she feel about Darcy now? She slipped out of her clothes and into bed, her conscious mind unable to make sense of the differences between the Darcy from George’s story and the man she knew.

  ***

  George greeted her the next morning with a warm, intimate smile. Elizabeth immediately felt comforted. It was clear that he wasn’t about to turn cold toward her. “Did you get a good night’s sleep?” he asked kindly.

  Elizabeth nodded and smiled. “Good.” He took her hand. “Lizzy, I’m really sorry about last night. I probably shouldn’t have told you all that.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “No, I’m glad you told me. It’s not pretty, but I’m glad I know. Darcy can be really controlling, I’ve seen that before, but I didn’t realize how far he would go.” She looked away uncomfortably, and George released her hand, but she grabbed it and squeezed it tightly. “It’s nice to have someone looking out for me.”

  “Oh, anytime, Lizzy. I know how easy it is to get taken advantage of in this business.” His expression lightened. “Now go get in costume; it’s time to play with the race cars!”

  Elizabeth grinned and went to the dressing area, where she was put in a white, formfitting racing suit. She spent the rest of the day driving, and when the sun started to set, George let her announce the end of filming. Feeling victorious, she shouted to the crew, “That’s a wrap!”

  Alex and Winnie took the band and George out to dinner. They were all happy, and laughter flowed with the wine. George toasted the ladies as being “the best band I’ve ever had the honor of working with.”

  When they returned to the hotel, Elizabeth was happy to see the pool would still be open for hours. She quickly changed into her suit and hurried to the empty pool. Shucking her clothes and towel, she dove in and began her laps.

  A few minutes later, she heard a voice calling her name. She looked up to see George in swim trunks, standing beside the pool. “How’s the water?” he asked.

  “It’s great!” she answered with a smile. She watched him dive in, mentally comparing him to Darcy. Angry with herself when she realized what she was doing, she compensated by telling herself that George had better abs and a nicer face, even if Darcy had a better dive.

  George swam over to ask what she was doing.

  “Laps, of course!” she replied. “Come on!” She started on her previous course, aware of George swimming beside her. Elizabeth soon hit her stride and relaxed in the exertion of her usual routine. She was turning into her tenth lap when she realized that George was no longer swimming beside her. She stopped and looked around, her old lifeguard training coming back to her, but quickly spotted him, resting in the corner of the pool.

  “George!” she scolded.

  “Oh, no!” he panted, holding up a hand. “I need a break.”

  Elizabeth grinned and swam over to him.

  “You swim every night?”

  “Every night I can,” she answered. “It helps me keep in shape.”

  “And a very nice shape it is, Lizzy.” He seemed to regain his breath. “Do you mind if those of us not training for the Olympics just hang out here in the kiddy end?” he grinned.

  Elizabeth laughed. “I’m sorry. I’m just used to—” She stopped short and looked away.

  “He’s a great swimmer,” George said, his tone conciliatory. “I hope I didn’t upset you last night, Lizzy. I’m sorry again.”

  “No, don’t apologize. I’m glad you told me.”

  “But if you had feelings for him…”

  “I was very ambiguous in my feelings for him. What you told me simply helped me to understand what I feel for him and what I want. I’m grateful for that.”

  George looked at her and lifted an eyebrow. Elizabeth smiled and moved closer. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lightly. “Now that we are done working on the job, I can do this without feeling bad,” he explained.

  Elizabeth let herself be drawn into a deep kiss. He was very attractive, and she enjoyed the feeling of his body next to her, but she wasn’t completely comfortable; after a little while she broke off and laid her head on his chest.

  “Will you be okay, going back to the tour now?” he asked as he lightly stroked her back.

  “Of course. I’m a professional. I can handle this.”

  George grinned. “You are that. You are one of the most professional artists I’ve ever worked with.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Somehow this seems like a strange setting to be told that.”

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  “No,” she sighed and pulled closer. “It’s nice to just be held sometimes. You know?”

  “I know.” His voice was warm and affectionate. “You miss it.”

  “Do you still miss her?” Elizabeth asked, her voice curious.

  “Sometimes,” he admitted. “I don’t think I will ever be fully over her.” He kissed her longingly. “I can’t tell you how many times I wish I hadn’t left, that I had stayed and fought for her.”

  “It took courage to walk away like that,” she said, her eyes dark with admiration.

  “Courage, or stupidity, I’m not sure which.” He laughed softly. “I lost everything when I walked away from her and the band. I had to start over from scratch.”

  “Really? They didn’t give you your share of the money?”

  “No,” he said uncomfortably.

  “I can’t believe they would do that. You were like family to them. Did you go to de Bourgh?”

  “Oh yeah, I did.” His face took on an expression of disgust. “She told me it was ‘band business’ and she wasn’t going to be involved.” He shrugged. “I could have sued, but that would have just brought the whole sad business out in the open, and I couldn’t do that to Georgie. So I took my licks and started anew.” He lifted his eyebrows at her. “And look at me now; I certainly can’t complain about my current position.” His mouth curled into a wicked leer and kissed Elizabeth deeply.

  Elizabeth responded to his kisses, wrapping her arms about his waist. She felt her desire rising while in his arms; he was strong and handsome and wanted her. It was easy to be with him. She kissed him deeply until a wave of water splashed over them.

  They broke apart, coughing and sputtering, to the sound of Jane and Charlotte’s laughter. “Oh, did we disturb something, Lizzy?” Charlotte called out.

  Elizabeth blushed as she realized her band mates and Alex were in the pool and she had never even heard them enter. She moved away from George and quickly found herself teamed with the other women in a volleyball game.

  The group played and laughed for an hour, the women beating the men four games to two. Finally, Alex told them it was late and they had to get some rest. “We are back on the road tomorrow.”

  George climbed out of the pool with them but made no attempt to
join Elizabeth. As they returned to their rooms, he said, “I want to thank you, Elizabeth. It’s not very often I get to meet such a special person as you.”

  Elizabeth smiled in response. She wished the others would leave, but they seemed oblivious. “I hope I get to see you again.”

  “Oh, you will. I’m contracted to do the next video with you.” Elizabeth beamed at this. “Lizzy? Can I call you?”

  “I’d like that,” she said, flushing slightly before wishing him good night and entering her room. Charlotte and Jane exchanged looks with Alex and said good-bye to George as well.

  ***

  Richard’s hand trailed over the flesh beside him. She was warm and so soft. He buried his face in her flat stomach, rubbing against her pliancy. He was almost there. He closed his eyes and the pain he felt was almost gone. He reached out his tongue to taste her, but stopped. The taste was wrong, and it was ruining the calm he was trying to find.

  Gentle hands stroked his head, soothing him. “Who is she, Richard?” a soft voice asked. “Who is this Charlotte? Did she break your heart?”

  He reared up, his eyes finding hers, stricken. “How?” he demanded.

  Ellen smiled kindly. “I could take being called her name once, but after the fourth time, even I start to wonder, darling.” She wasn’t trying to hurt him, she knew he was already in so much pain, but she wondered what had happened. What memory was so horrible that he was trying so hard to forget it?

  He leaned over her, his eyes wild. “Don’t! Don’t say that name again. She’s not—Just don’t!” He rolled away. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he lit a cigarette and took a deep drag until the shaking stopped.

  “Richard, you know I love you, but this is no good. I’ve never seen you like this.”

  Richard slumped. She was right, but he couldn’t face it. It was unacceptable. “I’m okay. I just need to get over this.”

  Ellen sat up, her blue eyes filled with concern for him. “Should I leave?”

  He shook his head. “No, not yet.” He lay back in the bed and drew her to him. “Stay with me till morning?” She nodded and rested her head against him. “I’m sorry, Ellen. I’m not myself.”

  She smiled bitterly. “This is supposed to be news?”

  He chuckled and kissed her forehead. She settled down comfortably, her limbs easily tangling with his. “She must be very special.”

  He nodded. “She is.”

  “I never thought I would see you get caught, Richard. Did she dump you?”

  “No,” he whispered, “I left her.”

  Ellen pushed herself up on her elbow and studied his face. Her expression turned poignant. “Oh God, Richard,” she said, her voice filled with sad wonder. “You really are screwed.”

  “I know,” his voice was rough, “I know.”

  Ellen pulled him close, holding his head against her chest and let him pour out his agony into her.

  ***

  Elizabeth smiled as again she held Jane’s hand for the takeoff. “I never thought I would see you excited to be getting on a plane.”

  “If it means getting back to Charles, I’d brave a dozen planes,” Jane said resolutely.

  Elizabeth wished she could share Jane’s sentiment. Right now she was dreading her return. Thank God she had met George and he had set her straight. She frowned at the thought of being trapped in a relationship with Darcy. And she knew that was exactly what would have happened. She would have been trapped.

  She could see it all now. Her initial impressions of Darcy had been correct. He was arrogant, selfish, and controlling. Sure, there were two sides to every argument, and she knew that Darcy saw the breakup with George differently, but that didn’t change the basic facts. Darcy had destroyed the happiness of George and Georgiana for money, for prestige, and for control. What the hell would he have done to her?

  Deep inside of her, she mourned a lost opportunity. Darcy had come to mean so much to her. He was an artist like her, and his guidance had come to mean so much. While she’d never completely understood him, a part of her was excited at the possibility of a relationship with him. She knew now that was impossible.

  Darcy had his good points. She couldn’t deny that, but she could not let herself get wrapped up with a man who would try to control her like he would.

  That thought opened up memories she closed off long ago. She looked at Alex sitting in the seat in front of her. She could see the top of his head, the hair she once ran her fingers through as he kissed her breathless. Alex had tried to control her too. Everything that had made him a great manager had made him an awful boyfriend, and when Elizabeth realized she had to end the relationship, it had not been pretty.

  Darcy would be a thousand times worse. A man who did not shy away from hurting his oldest friend and sister would have had no qualms at all about devastating her, using her for as long as he wanted, then dumping her. Oh, she knew he might want her for a long time, but in the end it would be the same.

  For the first time, Elizabeth was sincerely glad that they hadn’t progressed any further in their relationship. She knew, from so many times before, that sleeping with a man put her on the fast road to heartbreak, and with Darcy, it might have been the end of her music career as well.

  Fitzwilliam Darcy was simply too hot to handle. He had an intense flame that blazed within him that would burn her, consume her, and leave nothing behind. There was no more choice for Elizabeth. She had the certainty she was searching for. She and Darcy would simply not happen. They couldn’t.

  Chapter 12

  Darcy was pleased that Richard had come to rehearsal. He finally emerged from his room that morning, joining them for breakfast. Darcy was beginning to hope he had been correct when he told Caroline that Richard just needed to get over Charlotte. In fact, he hadn’t believed it when he said it; he was just stalling for time. But now, it looked like time just might have done the trick.

  Although Richard seemed back to his usual self, Charles was now a mess, distracted and barely able to focus on their songs. Not that he needed to. The rehearsal was part of their routine, a ritual they did each performance day while on tour, but not strictly necessary.

  If Darcy were completely honest, he would have to admit that he was off today as well. He wouldn’t acknowledge it, but he had an itch on his consciousness, like a tiny part of his brain was unraveling, disrupting his ability to fully concentrate. He certainly wouldn’t admit he was missing her, even if he knew he was.

  Just when Darcy was about to snap at Charles for missing his entrance for the fourth time, he heard footsteps running toward them and saw Jane rush onstage. She didn’t stop until she was in Charles’s arms. He picked her up and swung her around, a scene worthy of any movie.

  Darcy exchanged a look with Richard, clearly communicating that rehearsal was now essentially over, and then they both looked to see the return of Jane’s band mates.

  Elizabeth and Charlotte stood offstage, with Alex standing behind them like a mother hen. Both ladies looked distinctly uncomfortable. Darcy walked over to them. “Welcome back. We missed you.”

  “Thanks,” Elizabeth answered lightly. She noticed that Charlotte just stared at Richard, whose gaze rested back on Charlotte. “Um, did you have a nice break?” Elizabeth asked, trying to save the uneasy reunion.

  “Yes, we did,” Darcy answered with the same intent. “We went Jet Skiing,” he grinned.

  “Oh,” Elizabeth replied, a little surprised. “All of you?”

  “No,” Darcy answered carefully, “just Charles and I.”

  Elizabeth took his meaning, and her eyes rested on Richard before she quickly looked away again.

  “How was the video shoot?” Darcy asked.

  “It was good,” Elizabeth said, nodding. “It was very… educational.”

  “Great,” Darcy answered, and paused uncomfortably. He was quickly becoming frustrated with the situation. Talking with Elizabeth had never been this forced, and the staring match between Richard and Char
lotte was simply ridiculous. “Well, we’re just about done with our rehearsal. Do you want to take a break and then have your turn?”

  Elizabeth looked at Charles and Jane, who were still tightly embraced, as soft, earnest words were shared, and nodded. “Yeah, I think that’d be best.”

  Darcy walked back onstage and began putting his instruments away while Elizabeth waited a moment for Charlotte. When she didn’t seem inclined to move, Elizabeth left her and walked backstage.

  ***

  Charlotte was immobilized. She looked into Richard’s eyes, reading them as if they were the most fascinating novel she had ever seen. She read in them a pain, which warmed her somehow; it helped her to know that she wasn’t suffering alone. She didn’t want to be alone. She wanted to be with him, but she saw by the sadness in his eyes that it would not be.

  For his part, Richard was silently cursing himself. He tried for almost a week to disconnect from Charlotte, and here he was, as caught up as any fly in a spider’s web. He saw her pain, her longing, and perhaps something more that he did not have the courage to face. She hadn’t turned away from him, hadn’t grown angry with him, and hadn’t moved past him. She was in the same place he was, stuck in the same mire. He was tempted to chuck it all away, to quit his noble plan and pull her close, to bury himself in her sweetness and warm himself in her affection. But the vision of her, devastated and broken after the incident with Collins, stopped him. He was responsible for that; all the blame was his. He was poison to her, toxic to her spirit. He would not let himself destroy her. He loved her too much.

  “Hey, Char,” he said, discovering they were alone. “How’re you doing?”

  “Good,” she replied, blinking as a similar awareness came to her. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. It was nice having a break, you know?”