Beautiful Little Fool

by K. K. Hendin

  “Well, that was mostly a disaster,” Ellis said later that evening as they strolled through Central Park.

  Why the fuck were they in Central Park? Because he wanted to. And weaknesses and soft spots were weaknesses and soft spots, and Cedar was going to cater to as many of them as she could. It was research. And if that meant she had to stroll through Central Park, she would. At least they weren’t in the zoo. She still had standards.

  “What was?” she asked.

  “The meeting?”

  “Oh, that.” Cedar smiled up at him. “Guess we’ve figured out the next thing we’re tackling.”

  “Disaster. I swear, they’re going to start a mutiny and try to vote me out of my own company.”

  My own. Like he had done anything in the first place. Well, at least he was gaining confidence. That was something.

  “They can’t vote you out. Did you not read all the details of the will?”

  “I did, but still. Can’t they contest the will?”

  “They can try a lot of things. Most of them won’t do anything. Some of them will, having no result but negative publicity on your behalf. Which is why you need to shape up before the next meeting.”

  “I know, I know.” Ellis shoved his hands into his pants and slouched a little as he walked. “I don’t know. Maybe it shouldn’t have been me inheriting this. Not like it wasn’t completely random in the first place.”

  “It wasn’t random, Ellis. You know that.”

  “Sure as hell feels like it. I mean, if he really wanted me to inherit everything, why couldn’t I have found out before so I could have been trained in? I was living in foster care for ten years. He could have come at some point then.”

  “Maybe he wanted you to have that background,” Cedar countered. Well, well, well. Ellis was talking about his past. She knew a lot of it, because she did her research. But straight from him? That was better.

  “And maybe then I would have ended up as a carjacking druggie. I’m sure he would have wanted someone like that running his company.”

  Maybe we would have.

  “I don’t know, Ellis. But I know he wanted you to have this all.”

  “How? I don’t get it. I thought you didn’t know about the will.”

  And that was why Cedar was going to hate Harold for the rest of her life. He hadn’t told her about the will.

  “I didn’t need to see the will to know that whatever decision Harold made, it was because he had weighed everything else and decided that it was the best decision. You’re not worth eighty-seven billion if you don’t think things through first. And he decided it was going to be you. So it is.”

  “But…”

  “No buts.”

  “Even though…”

  “No even though. He did his research. He didn’t make a mistake.”

  She hoped.

  “Fine. I’ll take your word for it.”

  “Don’t worry so much. It will be okay,” Cedar said, leaning against him and smiling softly. “Everything will work out.”

  “I really hope they do,” he said. “Kind of feels useless if they didn’t.”

  “Useless?” Just a little pushing. Not too much. She snuggled closer.

  “Well, yeah. I mean, if you’re going to go with the whole existential philosophy of all of us being here to accomplish something, me fucking up would not only make me useless, but my parents useless, too.”

  “Why would your parents be useless, too?”

  “Well, they were killed before they could accomplish anything significant, I think.”

  That was rather self-centered for someone who the world didn’t actually revolve around. “You think?”

  Ellis sat down on a bench and dropped his head onto his hands. “They were killed when I was five. They got married early, graduated from college the year before. So, they hadn’t really had time to do much in terms of…fuck, I don’t even know. But they were killed.”

  “I didn’t know,” Cedar said softly, sitting down gingerly next to him and rubbing his back in circles. “I don’t even know what to say.”

  Which was a lie. Obviously. The not knowing part, that was. She honestly didn’t know what to say, though. What would make him feel better?

  “It’s okay,” he said.

  “No, it’s not.”

  “I wasn’t there. I was at home with a babysitter when it happened.” Ellis stared ahead. Stared at nothing. “And I had fought with my mom that evening. I was sick, and I was supposed to be the one going out, but they didn’t let me. I told her I hated her.” His voice cracked. “That was the last thing I ever told her.”

  “She knew you didn’t mean it,” crooned Cedar, rubbing his back, absolutely thrilled. “She knew you loved her.”

  “I don’t know that.”

  “I do.”

  “How?”

  “You’re extremely lovable, Ellis Carrington.”

  He melted into her arms, kissing her as if his life depended on it. Neither of them said anything else—not when they walked back through Central Park, not when they went back to Ellis’s place, not until they were in bed.

  “Cedar?” Ellis whispered.

  “Hmm?”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?” Cedar asked. Knowing full well what she was being thanked for.

  “For listening.”

  “Anytime, darling. Anything for you.” She pulled him into his arms and proceeded to comfort him.

  When they had both finished, Cedar curled up and pretended to fall asleep, debating whether she was going to stay the night or not. Ellis slipped back into bed next to her, and gathered her into his arms.

  Hopefully he would fall asleep quickly, because she had no patience for his fucking insomnia tonight.

  He feathered kisses over her forehead, and tightened his hold on her. “I love you,” he whispered.

  Fuck yes he did.

  Having someone in love with you was an enormous pain in the ass, Cedar realized. Fucking idiot had called her four times and it was one o’clock in the afternoon. Four. Fucking. Times. What the hell did he think, she had time to talk to him that often? Unlike him, she wasn’t fucking up at her job.

  Her phone buzzed again, and she shut it off. Completely. Fuck everyone. She wasn’t available. She was fucking working because that was what people did. Regardless of what the media decided.

  Speaking of which, that fucking Mary James was going down. Writing posts about Cedar, implying things that should never be implied. She didn’t have fucking time for some random asshole from Bumfuck, Idaho, to open her mouth about Cedar dating Ellis for his money. Not to mention the obsession she had with Cedar’s hair. It had gone from annoying to worrying, and Cedar was done with her.

  Which meant Mary was going to find herself on a permanent vacation from not only New York, but from the Internet, too.

  “Cecil, call Lee and tell him to come in. I have some more work for him.”

  “On it.”

  “And stop looking at gay porn on your computer.”

  Cecil sputtered. “What?”

  “Just making sure you’re awake over there,” Cedar said.

  “You suck.”

  “No, honey, I’m pretty sure you’re the one that’s into that.”

  Cecil burst into surprised laughter. “Feeling feisty today, huh?”

  “Just taking care of a few things .”

  “Extra feisty, then.”

  “Always. Has Jaz sent in the new piece in yet?”

  “No, but I got an email that she’s bringing it in herself later today.”

  Cedar pursed her lips in annoyance. She had four different meetings before she left work, not to mention she had actual shit to do. But Jaz was new and needed to be babied.

  “Make sure there are macarons when she gets here.”

  “Of course.”

  “Good. My phone is off, and if I’m in a meeting, I am not available for anyone.”

  “Anyone?”

  “
I don’t care if God called and wanted to talk to me. I’m busy.”

  “Got it.”

  Let Ellis work for it. Just because he said he loved her didn’t mean she was going to let him off the hook.

  “Cedar.” Lee Raline leaned against the door. “You missed me that much?”

  “Guess.” Cedar looked up from her paperwork. “Close the door behind you.”

  “All the way?”

  “Of course. Lock it, too.”

  Lee’s eyebrows shot up. “So it’s like that today, is it?”

  “What did you think?”

  “I never really know with you.” Lee closed the door, and locked the three locks. “How are the rutabagas?”

  “How the fuck am I supposed to know?”

  “You’re terrible at this.” Lee dropped himself into a chair. “What do you have for me today, boss?”

  “You need to get rid of that pornstache, Lee. You look like you’re a card-carrying member of Serial Killers of America.”

  “Fuck you, too, dear.”

  “Mary James.”

  “Who?”

  “Journalist at that disaster area of a trash mag website. A little too attached to my name.”

  “End goal?”

  “Permanent Internet vacation.”

  Lee grinned. “I am all over that shit. I haven’t ruined anyone’s life recently.”

  Cedar rolled her eyes. “So overdramatic, Lee, really.”

  “You know me. King Drama. Any suggestions for how exactly Miss James is going to forever retire from the Internet?”

  “Twitter. She spends too much time there, anyway.”

  “Give me two days and someone will be posting for her that she’s taking off time until things calm down.”

  “Good.”

  Lee saluted. “Anything else?”

  “Not right now. And close the door when you leave.”

  “Pleasure seeing you, Cedar,” he said, getting out of the chair and grinning at her. “Next time I see you, this will be a walrus mustache.”

  “You’re a sick fuck.”

  “A well-paid one, too.”

  “No raises for you, asshole.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “No, not so much.” Cedar mentally crossed the item off of her to do list and moved on to the next one.

  “Done and done,” Lee said. “Check out her Twitter feed.”

  “A day and a half. Nicely done.”

  “You’ve caused a bit of an uproar.”

  “That’s how shit gets done around here,” Cedar said, opening up Twitter to check. “Well, well, well. You doxed her, too?”

  “She was tougher than I thought she was going to be. But we broke her now. I’ve heard she’s leaving town to breathe.”

  “Subtext, she’s strapped up in the hospital on four different kinds of anti-depressants?”

  “Actually, five. But yep.”

  “Still no raise, Lee. But good job.” Cedar smirked.

  “A compliment from Cedar Reynolds? Hell, that’s better than a raise.”

  “Watch it.”

  “I always am.” He hung up without saying goodbye, because he liked to piss her off every once in a while.

  Cedar scrolled through Mary’s Twitter account, which for some reason hadn’t been deactivated yet. Lee had outdone himself this time.

  It was such a lovely treat for her to read through the train wreck today. Ellis had been a clingy asswipe this morning, Jaz’s latest piece had not been up to par, and Carolina was playing a little too dangerously. She was bored, and Cedar had no time to pick up the pieces when she ruined Florence’s life.

  There was nothing quite like a good Twitter train wreck. Mary had written a piece about summer bodies, and she may have mentioned men with small packages.

  And how better to start a train wreck on social media than pissing off insecure white men? Getting Reddit involved was an obvious move, but it had spiraled out even more spectacularly than Cedar had thought. Combine angry white men, trans guys, and that one pissed off ex-boyfriend who had taken nude pictures a few years back and never got rid of them…let’s just say it made for a truly spectacular explosion. Then someone doxing her? Life was just fabulous.

  Cedar leaned back and smiled. One thing to check off her list today. It was so nice when she was ahead of schedule.

  Now, if only she could get Ellis to move his ass a little faster with this whole proposal thing. Because honestly, if she was going to have to deal with his annoying clingy spinelessness, she was going to be doing it with a rock on her finger.

  Time to turn the dial up all the way.

  “Honey? Where are you?” Ellis called.

  Cedar lowered herself back into the bath, and turned the music back on. She was relaxing, and Ellis was going to get an earful when he found her.

  It would probably take him a good ten minutes. His house wasn’t small, and there were a bunch of places he was going to check before he got to the spa room.

  “Hey, honey.” Ellis looked down at Cedar floating in the bathtub. “Are you okay?”

  “Not really,” Cedar said, eyes shut.

  “What happened?” Ellis bent down and felt her forehead. “Are you feeling okay? I don’t think you have any fever.”

  “I’m just stressed out,” Cedar said, sighing. “I don’t know why.”

  “You’re one of the busiest people I know.”

  “And I’ve been able to handle it until now!” she said, her voice hitching with a small sob. “I don’t know what’s going on with me, Ellis.”

  He dropped down to the edge of the bathtub, and began stroking her hair. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry you’re so stressed out.”

  You should be, she thought bitterly. Well, not that she was actually stressed out. More like pissed off. But what Ellis didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

  “I wish I could just take a break from all of it for a little bit,” she said, leaning her head back into his hands. “But I have so much to do and you have even more to do, and I don’t even know why I’m complaining to you. You’re probably a lot more stressed than I am.”

  “Honey. You never have to apologize for telling me what you’re feeling,” Ellis said. “Yeah, I’m stressed out. But you don’t have to feel guilty for stressing out, too.”

  “I just…I don’t know, Ellis. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I’m so tired.”

  “I know, love. I know. We’re going to fix this, okay?”

  “How?” Cedar asked.

  Ellis kissed her gently. “Well, for tonight, we’re going to have a quiet night in. Dinner in bed, then a movie if you want? Early night?”

  “That sounds so nice,” Cedar said, smiling up at him. “Thank you, baby.”

  “Anything for you, love.” Ellis stood up and tucked his hands back into his pockets. “Stay in here until your fingers prune.”

  “Okay.”

  Cedar waited until he left the bathroom before getting back out of the bathtub and getting her phone. She was a pro at using her phone in the tub without getting it wet, and she had some shit to do tonight before her so-called “early night in.”

  She had four emails that needed an urgent response, and two files to go through for work. Light reading for her. And then, out of the tub, and dinner and a movie in bed with Ellis. She’d get the rest of her work done once he fell asleep.

  And she would make sure that there was going to be a vacation in their immediate future.

  Getting Ellis alone with her on an island with limited contact out was a perfect place for him to propose. It would be so romantic. It would be just what she needed.

  Ellis stared at his schedule and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. It wasn’t only Cedar who was stressed out. He was, too. And that island he had seen for sale was looking more and more tempting every day.

  Not to mention the fact that he was itching to propose to Cedar.

  And yes, he did know how quickly this all was. But he knew that she was the one. He fel
t it in his gut. And his gut had not steered him wrong yet.

  Where would be a better place to propose than somewhere sunny? By a beach, the sun setting? He leaned back in his seat and imagined going down on one knee while Cedar beamed.

  This vacation was going to happen soon. They would go somewhere with privacy, and ocean, and a very big bed. A pre-honeymoon of sorts. He smiled at the thought. And when she was sated on sex and vacation, he’d pop the question.

  What would happen after that would be insanity he was okay with.

  He straightened in his chair and picked up his phone, reenergized. He had an island to buy.

  There were a few nice parts of having billions of dollars. One being that if he decided he wanted to buy an island, he could do so in the same morning that he decided it was going to happen.

  And said island and island home would be decorated as he wished by the next week, when he would fly there with his girlfriend in his private plane.

  There were definitely perks to inheriting Feingold Investments.

  Now all he had to do was buy a ring and let Cedar know they were going on vacation next week.

  He waited until the next evening. Until he had met with the jeweler for her engagement ring. It was going to be magnificent, and he hoped she liked it. Hoped she said yes.

  Cedar was curled up on one of the overstuffed chairs in his private office, working on her laptop while he went over the gallery expense accounts for the past month. They had already eaten dinner, and both were too swamped with work to go out. Honestly, Ellis was okay with it. He knew he could hold on his own while out, but it still scared the shit out of him. And he didn’t want to tell Cedar that. Didn’t want her to know he was a fucking pussy.

  He shut his laptop and stood up.

  Cedar glanced up. “You finished already?”

  “No, just taking a break. But I wanted to float an idea by you.”

  Cedar set her laptop on the table. “Sure. What’s going on?”

  “I know you’re getting a little stressed out,” Ellis started carefully. He didn’t want to upset her, or have her think he didn’t think she could manage what she did. “And I am, too. I don’t think I could have realized what it was to manage this much.”