Heaven Scent

by SpursFanatic

  Nodding, she gave him a small smile. “I often wonder why. Why her? Why at that time?” Tarin had always wanted someone to answer that question. She wanted to know why her sweet, mild-mannered mother had to die rather than the mean, vile-tempered nurse they had hired to care of her.

  “God, Tarin. If you only knew how many times I’ve asked myself that very question. How many times I‘ve been where you are now, wishing I could‘ve done more. Wishing it would‘ve been me instead.”

  Tarin nodded, her hair scratching against the linen of his shirt sleeve. It had broken her heart to see her father suffer afterwards. So many times she had wished she would have died instead so her father could have lived happy.

  “Watching her suffer so, day after day, tore at my heart," Tarin said. "To see her deteriorate right before my eyes was a torture I wish for no one.”

  Nodding, Rafe glanced away, his eyes dark and troubled once again. “Back in Texas, I saw so much suffering, Tarin. Shocking brutality I thought no human could ever commit. Each day when I convinced myself I had seen it all, something happened the next day to top it.” He kissed her forehead. “By the time I left, I hated Texas. I had seen so much torture and death, I never wanted to see it again.”

  Now Tarin understood the pain she had seen in his eyes that day at the park. She also understood his relaxed confidence, his appreciation for the simple things in life. Rafe deserved happiness, deserved peace. She wanted to make it happen for him.

  “I’m so sorry, Rafe.”

  Turning back to her, his eyes were big, somber. “Me, too.” He ran a finger along her hairline to brush back a stray strand. She shivered at the delicate heat on her skin.

  Sitting in his lap with her arms wrapped around his middle, Tarin smiled up at Rafe tentatively.

  “Tarin, you talk of saving lives as a doctor, but what about those that you can’t save? You will be a trained professional, not an eight-year-old girl. Will you get upset each time you lose a patient? Are you ready for the responsibility of another human life?”

  She sat up straight. “Of course, I will get upset. It is not as if I would lose a book or, or currency.”

  Clutching her face in both hands, Rafe looked down into her eyes. “All I’m saying is that if this is just about your mother, Tarin, you really need to think about what you’re doing. Becoming a doctor won’t change anything in that regard. It’s a lot of responsibility and comes with high expectations.”

  He brushed the hair back from her temple, his fingers gentle against her skin. “But if that’s what you truly want to do, what you want out of life…” he searched her gaze, “I will stand beside you every step of the way.”

  Tears filled Tarin’s eyes once again. For someone who rarely cried, she had made up for lost time that afternoon. She cried not because it upset her to hear Rafe’s concerns, but because she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she loved Rafe Sutherland. And it terrified her.

  “I’m sorry to upset you, sweetheart,” he said, brushing a tear from her cheek, “but this quest you’re on shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

  “Lightly?” she cried, scrambling out of his arms and onto the sofa. She had to get away from him to think straight. “I have planned for this all of my life. Do you not think I’ve considered this from all angles? I am not an imbecile, Rafe.”

  Rising to his feet, Rafe frowned down at her, hands on hips. “Tarin, you’re an incredibly intelligent woman. I never meant to imply otherwise. I just want you to be sure of what you want.”

  I want you, Rafe, above all else.

  Good God, what had she done?

  Jumping up from the sofa, she turned her back on him. “I think it best you leave.”

  Silence.

  “Tarin, I never meant to hurt you...”

  She nodded, tears lodged in her throat. She swallowed hard.

  “I hope you enjoy the books.”

  She heard him walk towards the door. Something she didn’t want to acknowledge prompted her to run.“Rafe...”

  Throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him as though she’d never see him again. Open-mouthed and fierce, Tarin’s kiss relayed all of the mixed feelings she had inside. She clung to him, desperate that he tell her everything would work out. That she could love him and not get hurt. That he would always be there for her and never leave.

  But she knew better.

  Moaning, Rafe pulled her off her feet. He held her tight, his arms like bands of iron. He kissed her ardently, with a force that felt as if he would swallow her whole.

  “Tarin,” he said, pulling away, his breathing heavy, “I can’t take much more of this. Say yes and put us both out of our misery.”

  She stared at the buttons on his vest but said nothing. How could she say yes to something that could destroy her?

  Blowing out a breath, Rafe released her. She dropped to her feet.

  “Dammit, Tarin. You kiss me like we’re married but I can’t even get you to say yes to courtship.”

  She sighed. “You are right. I cannot do this any longer.”

  Turning away, Rafe shoved a hand through his hair then rubbed the back of his neck.

  “I’m sorry, Rafe.”

  Cursing low, he straightened his shoulders and headed for the door.

  “You may take back your gift.”

  He shook his head. “What would I do with a medical library - without you?”

  He walked out of the parlor, leaving his picnic on the floor and taking her heart with him.

  Dropping to the sofa, Tarin put her face in her hands and cried.

  Chapter 10

  Rafe was still trying to figure out how he went from “it’s good to see you” to “I think it best you leave” as he steered the carriage south on Chestnut Street, taking the long route home.

  It was no wonder Tarin hadn’t found an eligible man to her liking. The Good Lord above was trying to protect the sanity of the male population in Boston.

  Leave it to Rafe to go against the grain.

  Dammit, how could she kiss him like that, then tell him goodbye? He didn’t know how much of this masochistic torture he could take. Maybe he should start searching for that blind whore.

  He sighed. It wouldn’t do any good. He hungered for Tarin and no other.

  For some unknown reason, she was attracted to him. That much he knew. Why she fought it, he wasn’t certain. But fight it she did - with everything she had.

  It had killed him to see her so upset about her mother. Tarin crying was something akin to having bamboo shoots stuck under his fingernails. Today, unlike that past experience, he came out of it on the losing end.

  Wiping a trickle of sweat from his brow, Rafe thought about the circumstances of his agreement with Worthington. Get his daughter to marry him and Rafe had instant success for the rest of his life. He laughed to himself. Worthington was a shrewd bastard. He knew how difficult his daughter could be.

  Worthington. Was he in business with a man that wanted to destroy Sutherland Shipping? Were he and Kent in a plot together so they could, in turn, buy the business? If they weren’t in business together, why would Kent interfere with Worthington’s shipments?

  Blowing out a frustrated breath, Rafe waved at a police officer as he rounded the corner. Suppose Kent wasn’t in business with Worthington. Was Kent stealing his goods? If so, was Hunter, or his crewmen, in with him? Otherwise, how could Kent gain access to the ship without Hunter’s knowledge?

  Rafe turned onto his street. He needed to take Ruthless out on a long jaunt. He always thought better on the back of his horse. The poor beast probably wondered what had happened to the wide open spaces of Texas.

  Pulling to a stop at the front steps, Rafe jumped down and handed the reins to the stable hand. He would figure out a way to get Tarin Worthington to marry him. He had no choice now. She had stirred up his blood so that no other woman would do. The question was, what would he do when he did get her into his bed?

  Hell, things couldn’t get any
worse, Rafe decided. His business was on its last leg, his family - no both of his families - were nearly out of money, he was in a blackmail scheme with a man that could be trying to destroy him, the most highly respected doctor in town wanted the same woman as he, and that woman just told him she couldn’t see him anymore.

  Oh, and he couldn’t forget that should he somehow get the woman, he would quickly lose her anyway because his scars were the most grotesque sight imaginable.

  And he had wanted to return to Boston, for what reason?

  Rafe laughed to himself as he opened the front door. Things could only get better, right?

  A squeal rang from the parlor. Rafe whipped his head around only to be pulled into a blistering kiss.

  The womanly curves crushed against him weren’t Tarin’s curves, that much he knew, but they felt oddly familiar.

  And wrong.

  He shoved the woman to arm’s length. Long, black hair swept back from a face of smooth, cream-colored skin. Eyes the color of whiskey sparkled up at him. She was beautiful, wild, and the last person he expected to see.

  “Rosa!” He couldn‘t have been more shocked to see someone if his deceased father stood before him.

  “Rafe oh, mi amor,” she clutched his face between her hands, “me ha olvidado usted de manera.”

  The mi amor - my love - part registered, but Rafe refused to acknowledge it. Even if she hadn’t said the words, the light in her eyes would have spoken for her. “What are you doing here?”

  “I brought her.”

  Rafe stilled. He knew that voice. Looking into the parlor doorway, he saw his friend and former Ranger, Beau St. John, standing beside his blushing mother. Patrick stood nearby, his angry face the shade of beets.

  Damned Frenchman hadn’t changed a bit. He was still the prettiest man Rafe had ever seen - and the biggest flirt. The ladies flocked to him like bees to honey.

  “Well, look what the cat dragged in…” Rafe couldn’t keep the smile from his face.

  Pulling his friend into a brief embrace, Rafe clapped him on the shoulder with a laugh. “Damn... it’s good to see you. What are you doing here?”

  Beau tugged at the bottom of his vest and straightened his cuffs. “Taylor asked me to join his personal guard in Washington. I was traveling north, so Rosa asked me to bring her to Boston.” He frowned over glittering ice-green eyes, “Since she had no reason to stay in Texas.”

  Rafe frowned. “What?” He looked down at Rosa beside him. “What happened?”

  Tears appeared in her eyes. “My familia, the Comanches killed them.”

  Rafe clutched her arm before Isabel placed an arm around her shoulders. She led Rosa to one of the settees and sat down. The men followed them into the room.

  “After you left,” Beau said, his arms linked behind his back as he strolled to the fireplace, “the Comanches came in and massacred nearly everyone at the mission.”

  Rafe’s gut twisted. Rosa’s family and the residents of the mission were responsible for saving him that night. Damn, why was he allowed to live and good people like the Mendoza family were killed?

  Then it struck him - was he the cause? Did the Indians return to finish the job?

  Shaking his head, Beau added, “Before you go thinking this was your fault, more of the Rangers had ridden in to see you before you left. The Comanches heard about it and…” He glanced down at the women without finishing.

  Rafe glanced down at Rosa again. “Rosa, I’m sorry.”

  She squeezed his hand. “I am just happy you are alive.”

  “You should have seen her, Rafe.” Beau gave a quick grin as he winked at Isabel.

  His mother blushed and ducked her head. Patrick growled low in his throat.

  “Rosa was a vision of fierce resolve - I think Taylor would have hired her too, if he were able.”

  Knowing Beau’s interpretation meant she had killed as many as the Rangers had, Rafe smiled down at her. Who would‘ve ever thought a woman of such beauty capable of killing?

  Patrick stepped towards him. “Rafe, we have to leave if we are going to meet with McAllister.”

  Rafe nodded. Yes, after all he had been through that day, he still had a business to run.

  The women stood as the men walked to the door.

  “I’ve asked Cook to prepare a grand meal this evening,” Isabel said. “We will celebrate your arrival in Boston.” She glanced first at Beau, looking away quickly before turning to Rosa.

  “Rafe,” she added, with a deep breath. “I’ll get them settled in and hot baths prepared.” She hugged Rosa to her side. “Tomorrow, we will take you to the dressmaker. We must get you outfitted properly.”

  Rafe thought Rosa’s smile could only be described as radiant. Patrick’s gaze flew to his.

  “St. John, keep an eye on things until we get back,” Rafe said, as he backed out of the room. “I hope you brought tequila with you. I’m almost out.”

  Beau grinned, his arm braced against the mantle, one leg crossed over the other. “I did, but the only way you’ll get your hands on it is if you beat me in a game of draw poker.”

  #######

  “I feel like I left the fox in the henhouse.”

  Riding inside the Sutherland coach, Rafe frowned over at Patrick. “What?”

  Patrick flicked a hand at Rafe, his legs braced against the floor. “St. John. He has not quit flirting with mother since he arrived.”

  Rafe laughed as he gazed out the window. “He flirts with all women. It’s just his way. It’s the reason we got along so well back in Texas - we had a lot in common.”

  Patrick shook his head. “I cannot believe he traveled from Texas alone with a beautiful woman like Rosa.”

  Turning back to his brother, Rafe frowned. “If you’re worried about her virtue, it’s under lock and key - believe me.”

  His eyes widened. “Are you implying that you tried to…”

  “Come on, Patrick...” Frowning, Rafe waved his hand towards Patrick then dropped it to his knee. “You act like you’re some kind of saint. Even I know better than that.”

  Patrick’s voice rose. “There are women that deserve to be shown a certain respect - others that do not expect it at all.”

  What bothered Patrick now? Rafe knew he frequented certain gentlemen clubs on a regular basis. Clubs where female entertainment could be bought for the right price. Rafe wondered if their current financial situation had cut into Patrick’s favors, causing him to be more irritable than usual.

  “Damn brother, I’m surprised you can move around at all in that stuffed shirt. I wasn’t implying Rosa didn’t deserve respect, I just…”

  Rafe stopped. What did he mean? Once upon a time, he did think of women as a means to a quick… end. But, God had changed that. And Tarin.

  “I just, what?” Patrick cried, clutching the portfolio on his lap in a tight grip. “Am used to using women? You had better have the utmost respect and proper intentions with Tarin or you will answer to me.” He leaned forward on the seat. “Or, has that changed with Rosa’s arrival?” He pointed a finger at Rafe. “And don’t even think you can have them both.”

  Gritting his teeth, Rafe sat forward on the bench, too. “Both? Are you mad? Have you taken a good look at me lately?”

  Nostrils flared, Patrick said, “Forgive me if I don’t find sympathy for your plight. I find it hard to muster for someone who has the attentions of two beautiful women.” Patrick breathed in through his nose. “You don’t fool me, Rafe. I know how you were before you left. You would have one girl waiting for you in the garden, while you fooled with another in the library. I won’t have it for Tarin - or Rosa.”

  Stunned, Rafe sat back in his seat. His brother had a fine opinion of him, didn’t he? Rafe couldn’t blame him. Once upon a time, he was a rogue. Before he left Boston, he’d had his pick of women to warm his bed. The ladies thought him handsome and Rafe knew it.

  The night of his graduation from Harvard, Rafe had a fight with his father and left h
ome without warning. He had deserted his family at a time when he should have stepped up to take the reins of the business. Instead, Patrick had been forced to do so in his stead.

  Yes, he had once been an arrogant young man and selfish womanizer - like his father. Not anymore. God had humbled him in a way he never could’ve imagined.

  Rafe would do his damndest to change Patrick‘s opinion. He would marry Tarin Worthington and take his family to a social status well beyond his father‘s aspirations.

  But, what about Rosa?

  He remembered their last conversation the night he was captured. If Rosa came to Boston with the expectation of marriage…

  He blew out a breath. Rafe didn’t want to hurt her. She was the sole reason he lived. How did he thank her by saying ‘sorry, you traveled all this way but I can’t marry you?’

  Tarin was the woman for him and no one could change that. He wanted her in his bed and her father wanted Rafe in her life. Amen.

  “I’m a changed man, Patrick. My intentions towards Tarin are pure. I want no other.” Staring down at his lap, he shook his head. “I don’t know what to do about Rosa.”

  Silence. “Why?”

  Rafe glanced out his window before staring at his brother. “How do I tell a woman that saved my life and traveled across the country for me that I want someone else?”

  Patrick‘s shoulders relaxed. “You be honest and let the chips fall where they may.”

  Rafe laughed to himself. “You haven’t seen Rosa with a gun.“

  “What?!” Patrick’s eyes widened.

  Rafe laughed again. “She’s damn good with a gun. Not that she would use it on me, but she does have a temper.”

  Patrick laughed with him. Clearing his throat, he tugged at his sleeves. “I may just have to be there to console her.” He raised an eyebrow.

  Rafe stilled. Patrick and Rosa? She would eat his poor brother alive.

  Pulling up to the curb at McAllister’s office, Rafe reached across and slapped his brother on the knee. “Let’s go sign a new client so we can afford those clothes the women are going to buy tomorrow.”