BOB's Bar

by Michael Anderle

  “What about the vigilante legend you wanted to build on?” Amanda asked.

  “Well, that actually went well. The gang members all talked about the red-eyed bloodsucker or poltergeist; no one could agree exactly what I was. By the time SWAT swept through I had all the gangalangs down. I had been able to jump to another building, so I watched it all go down from there. I got home at about two in the morning and decided that I wasn’t cut out to be a vampire vigilante.”

  She put her finger up. “However, you know that trussed-up guy? He later became a big-time Indie movie director and made a famous vampire film called… Wait for it…”

  She smiled at everyone as she laid out the solid truth.

  “The Vampire Vigilante,” she finished, winking at Ryck and TH, “and that ain’t no shit!”

  Interlude

  BOB was programmed for a purpose, and while extremely capable in the pursuit of its mission, it was not omniscient. The fact that Bethany Anne was not completely human surprised it. As BOB looked over the rest of them, it wondered who else held surprises.

  Could the Collector be surprised?

  BOB didn’t know how that thought had intruded into its circuits. The Collector was . . . well, the Collector. BOB was merely a tool; something to gather the product.

  “Who knew,” Amanda said, leaning toward Tanis and Ryck, “that we had a movie star sitting at the table with us? No wonder you have a taste for Louboutins,” she teased.

  “Moovee?” Tanis asked. “I take it from context that’s like a sim?”

  “Yeh, but flat . . . 2D.”

  “How ancient are you?” Tanis asked Bethany Anne, who only winked and didn’t reply.

  “Oooh, did I ever tell you about the time I met Tobey Maguire?” Cal asked. “You know, the actor? Cries a lot? Well, I say ‘met’. He’s actually dead now, and it was more sort of . . . You know what? Never mind.”

  “Oooo-kay. My turn, I think,” Amanda said, raising her eyebrows at Cal’s comment.

  BOB was not able to scan all five spectrums; that was not its purpose. Its Zeta-B band sensor, however (uploaded for the mission in the Frostokera Universe and never removed), lit up well into the black range. Nothing in the construct should have created such a reading. Nor should the humans, for that matter, but they were the ones introduced into the construct, so the probability was that one of them was the cause.

  BOB took several steps to its right, and by the primitive method of triangulation centered on Amanda. BOB didn’t know how the human was broadcasting, but it was sure she was the source.

  Conspiracy

  By Andrew Dobell

  Amanda sat back and smiled. She was enjoying the stories from these strange new people she found herself sitting with, and she couldn’t help but shift her senses into the Magical spectrum to get a better look at them all. Most of them had some kind of inorganic parts within their bodies, from the implant in Cal’s head to the nanomachines inside Bethany Anne and Terry. The blonde, Tanis, was only about forty percent organic from what she could tell. She even had something like a T-1000 living metal arm. Too cool, Amanda thought.

  Some of them had been enhanced physically as well. They would be formidable opponents, that was for sure. That said, none of them made use of Magic the way she did.

  Bethany Anne drew power or energy from an alternate dimension Amanda wasn’t familiar with, but it seemed to have the same fundamental properties Essentia did. She could see the energy feeding into her at the base of her neck and the base of her spine. She’d noticed that although Bethany Anne had certain traits that would classify her as a vampire— the fangs, red eyes, and enhanced physique—that wasn’t what she was, not in the true mythological sense of the word. She wasn’t like the vampires of Amanda’s world, either. She was something else. Something alien, maybe? Her manipulation of plasma energy only confirmed that there was more to her than that. Still, calling her a vampire was the easy thing to do—for now, at least.

  “Well, you might have started a war, soldier, and ‘Selene’ here might have inspired a film,” Amanda said to the table, “but how about a whole conspiracy theory?”

  “Marine, not soldier. But conspiracy?”

  “You’re not a soldier? How come?”

  “Historically we fell under the naval service, not the army,” Ryck said. “Also, we weren’t a separate military command—didn’t have a Chief of Staff.”

  “Aaah, the Navy…I see. So you’re a sailor then,” Amanda said. “Well, helloooo, sailor,” she said in a suggestive tone, smiling. She noticed the frowns from Ryck and Terry—though Tanis chuckled—and decided to continue her story before they could get into too much of a debate about it. “A while back I was off visiting a friend of mine, so I was. Her name was Rane. We’d been mates—and sometimes more—for the last six hundred years or so.”

  Tanis cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t look a day over two hundred. I don’t see any signs of rejuv in your skin, either.”

  “Heh, thanks! What can I say…that’s Magic, baby!” Amanda told her, waving her hands in the air. “Anyway, she was part of one of the family dynasties that were spread throughout my galaxy. I don’t wander too far from Sol typically, and Rane was part of the Ormond family that’s based at Sol Prime—a huge space station on the edge of the solar system. I was taking a break from Earth, having been involved in a war there that had taken its toll on me, to be sure. It sounds like you guys can relate to that.”

  There were nods and general murmurs of agreement from around the table.

  “I feel like I’ve been in an endless fucking war,” Bethany Anne commented.

  “No rest for the weary and all that,” Tanis said as she raised her cup in salute.

  “Rest is important,” said Cal. “I rest, like, nine to twelve hours a day.” He considered his statement. “Actually, do we even have days in space? Like, you know, space days? Is that a thing?”

  “Depends if you mean stellar or sidereal,” Tanis replied with a wink.

  Cal shook his head. “Whatever. I sleep a lot, that’s my point.” He smiled at Amanda. “Now, uh, what were you saying again?”

  Amanda looked at Cal with one eyebrow raised for half a second. He was a curious one, but his humor was growing on her. “As I was saying, we were off enjoying ourselves—having a good time and generally relaxing a bit. Appreciating what the Sol Prime station had to offer, when Rane got a message from a friend in one of the crafting guilds. He wanted to show her his latest invention. To be sure we’re intrigued, so we ‘ported on over.”

  “’Ported?” Ibarra asked.

  “Oh, sorry,” Amanda said. “I forgot that you might not be familiar with everything. I mean ‘teleport,’ like this.” With a quick pull on the Essentia around her, Amanda suddenly disappeared from her seat and reappeared sitting on the edge of a table a few feet behind her. She looked at the stunned faces of most of the people around the first table and waved at them.

  “Grubbing hell,” Ryck muttered, leaning back in his seat.

  “You can walk the Etheric too?” Bethany Anne asked.

  “Kind of.” Amanda smiled before working her Magic once more and reappearing in her original seat. “That’s what I mean by ‘porting, anyway. And by the way, who wants a top-up, hmm? Tell you what, I’ll get the next round,” she said, raising her hands toward the table. Following a small flare of pyrotechnics, a new and perfectly built drink appeared before each of them. She was showing off a bit with the light show, but she thought, What the hell? The best part of it was that each drink was that person’s favorite, having plucked that small piece of information from each of their minds in the seconds before she conjured the drinks.

  She didn’t hunt through their heads for anything else—that would have been rude—but it had been fascinating to catch a glimpse at their thought processes, especially Tanis’. It appeared she was sharing their head with another intelligence and conversing with it. An AI, perhaps? There were others in her universe who did this so it wa
sn’t totally new to her, but it was still interesting. She wondered if she’d get to talk to these hidden guests at the table.

  “That was one of, like, the top five most awesome things I’ve ever seen,” said Cal, indicating the glass before him. “And I’ve seen The Muppets Christmas Carol, so I do not say that lightly.”

  Amanda laughed. “I like you, Cal, and I don’t say that lightly either.”

  Each person at the table thanked her in their own way, although looks of surprise came from several of them.

  “Anyway,” she continued, taking a sip of the fruity, full-bodied red she was now drinking, “we headed over to see Rane’s friend—his name was Xalus, and we’d both known him for a while. He was little eccentric, but harmless, and he was all excited about his latest and greatest invention.

  “I walk up. ‘What’s the craic?’ I ask. ‘Oh, hi, girls’ he said to us as we walked into his place, which was huge and filled with various Aetheric Craft-related items. He ushered us over to another part of his lab, where he gestured to a small one-man ship. It was sleek; mean looking, and very shiny. ‘Wow, that’s grand, that is,’ I said. ‘Looks like it’s made from tinfoil, though.’

  “‘Tin foil?’ Xalus asked. I smiled and shook my head. I often forgot that people like Xalus who had lived their entire lives out here might not understand some of my Earth references. I tried to keep them to a minimum, but they often slipped out. I told him not to worry about it. The ship was awful gorgeous to look at, with its mirror-like sheen. ‘I call it the Silver Fox,’ he said with a smile, looking incredibly proud of himself. Xalus told us that we could get a better look, so we walked over and pressed on the paper-thin metal it was made from. It was rock-hard—as tough as any deck plating I’d ever come across—but then I wasn’t too surprised by that. The ship designers of the Crafting Guilds often created what looked like impossible spaceships from glass or crystal or wood; whatever the client wanted. When Magic is involved, anything is possible,” she said with a twinkle in her eyes.

  “Xalus smiled at our fascination. ‘You want to try it out?’ he asked. Rane glanced at me, looking a touch unsure, but I have to admit I liked the look of the little ship, so I agreed. ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘That would be grand.’ Xalus looked thrilled, and proceeded to tell me that he’d created more than just the ship. ‘I also created this flight suit to go with it,’ he said. I walked over to the table he was now standing beside and had a look at the white fitted catsuit that lay on top of it. It was gleaming white, and smooth to the touch. I fell in love with it right away. He had, however, also made a huge helmet to go with it that I was less enthused about, but Xalus went on about how it interfaced with the ship and was a vital part of the whole experience. I didn’t want to ruin the guy’s day by refusing to wear it when I’d been so excited by everything else, so I agreed to it.”

  Tanis snorted. “I have a few friends who would fall in love with a shipsuit like that too.”

  “Awesome. Catsuits are great, aren’t they?” Amanda said, smiling back at Tanis. “Hey, check this out. It looked like this,” Amanda said, and worked her Magic once more. After a bright flare, Amanda was clad in a skintight futuristic-looking catsuit with subtle grey detailing and a few glowing lights, but without the helmet she’d mentioned. Amanda stood up and posed in it for a moment with a grin.

  “Okay, that’s another top five right there,” Cal said, obviously enjoying the view.

  “You got a camera function in all that tech you’ve got built in to you?” she asked Tanis.

  “Only a few thousand. I’ve got a nanocloud filling this place. Stand back there… Yes, got it. I’ll have to show Sera and Jessica. They’ll be glad to know that their favorite fashions pervade the multiverse.” Tanis held up her hand and a holographic image of Amanda in her catsuit appeared in the air. “Got a full scan.”

  “Awesome,” Amanda said, looking down at herself. “Mmm, it’s really very comfy. I’ll keep this on for a bit, I think,” she said, taking her seat again.

  Bethany Anne sipped her drink and smiled. “You remind me of someone I know named ‘Tabitha.’”

  “I know a Tabitha too. Awesome! So anyway, Rane thought the whole thing was hilarious, and after I put the flight suit on Xalus encouraged me to try the helmet on as well. The thing was large, and white like the suit, with dark lenses for me to look out of. I tied my hair up so the suit and helmet could create the airtight seal it required around my neck, and put it on. Rane made sure she stood behind Xalus as she sniggered at me. I didn’t mind, though, since Xalus was clearly thrilled and nearly bouncing off the walls with excitement.

  “’You look great,’ Rane said, getting her mirth under control.

  “Xalus guided me to the Silver Fox and helped me get in, pointing out the various controls. I know how to fly Aetheric craft and this was no different really, once I knew where everything was. I soon powered it up and then, with a quick working of Magic, ‘ported the whole thing from his lab into the vacuum of space a few thousand meters from the nearest edge of the station.

  “Xalus’ and Rane’s voices came through loud and clear, and I felt like I was in some kind of Iron Man suit with all the readouts and holographic displays inside the helmet. ‘How’s it handle?’ Xalus asked. ‘Great,’ I answered as I fired up the Pulse Drive and peeled away from the station, putting it through its paces as Xalus guided me through a few maneuvers. It was a nice ship and very quick, so I wanted to really test it. ‘Xalus, are the Displacement and Flux Drives operational?’ I asked. He said they were and that I could take it for a spin around the Sol system if I wanted to. I angled the Silver Fox towards Sol, fired up the Displacement Drive, and I shot forward as it came online. Sol Prime receded away to nothing in less than a second, and I was alone in deep space. The Silver Fox sailed smoothly and worked beautifully. I plotted a course to take the ship through an elliptical orbit of the solar system, passing some of my favorite sights. At the speed I was going it was only going to take me a few minutes to circumnavigate the sun, but I’d be slowing down a few times at least to take in some of the views. Saturn came up quickly so I powered down the Displacement Drive and coasted in, passing around the dark side of the planet and enjoying the stunning view of the planet’s rings backlit by the sun.

  “Have you ever been to Saturn?’ Amanda asked the others around the table.

  “A few times,” Tanis replied, her tone wistful. “I was stationed on Iapetus, one of its moons, for a year. It’s got a really inclined orbit—best view of the rings from any of the moons.”

  “I spent more time than I’d have wished on Earth and I’ve been to Mars, of course, but not Saturn. I don’t like the home system much,” Ryck said.

  “You know everyone on Earth is dead now, right?” said Cal.

  The table fell silent for a moment, leaving Cal’s comment to hang in the air as everyone looked at each other. They wondered if Cal knew something they didn’t.

  “Unless this is an alternate universe thing,” Cal reasoned. He snapped his fingers in BOB’s direction. “Hey robot guy, is this an alternate universe thing?”

  When BOB didn’t answer, Cal shrugged and turned back to the others. “It probably is an alternate universe thing, in which case everyone on Earth—your Earth, I mean—might not be dead. Probably shouldn’t have said anything, actually. My bad.” He sipped his drink. “Still… Yay, I guess.”

  “If you’re right, that’d make my job a lot easier,” Tanis muttered. “So long as they got the Hegemon.”

  Bethany Anne spoke up. “In my dimension, we set up three concentric rings of death in case anyone tried to attack the planet.” She smiled. “I doubt it’s dead, since I left it just a couple years ago in one piece.”

  “They’re all dead in your universe, Cal? Shite, that’s banjaxed! Sorry to hear that. Well anyway, Saturn is perhaps my favorite of the Sol planets. There’s just something magical about it, so there is. I’ve seen more impressive views out there in the cosmos to be sure, but to me not
hing quite beats Saturn.

  “So anyway, I made sure to pass Enceladus, home of the Magi Council. I couldn’t see the castle since I was too far out, but it was down there somewhere.”

  “With Saturn behind me, I fired up the Displacement Drive once more and shot off through space toward the farthest part of my ellipse before I banked around and started to make my way back toward Sol Prime, but not before a brief flyby of Jupiter, that other jewel of the Solar system. As I approached the Jovian system, though, the HUD in my helmet picked up something for just a moment. It was some kind of distress signal, but it only broadcasted for a moment. I was curious though, and adjusted my course before dropping out of Displacement. Jupiter suddenly rose into view from the darkness, and a short distance ahead I spotted two ships hanging side by side in space.”

  “One was a sleek, white and gold beauty. I recognized its design—it was an Ormond-family ship, specifically the Zephyr. It didn’t belong to any one family member, but like most ships in family fleets it was the favored ship of a few people within that dynasty.”

  “The other ship was much smaller—more of a single person fighter and not unlike the one I was in, except this one was a mix of matte and gloss black. As I looked at the ships a signal came through to me. I opened the link and a face I recognized appeared. It was Dasha Ormond. I didn’t really know him well, but his reputation as a typically entitled family fop was well known. Most family members acted like royalty, because they had all the power. They had been in space for millennia, controlled huge areas of the cosmos, ran stations like Sol Prime, and ruled hundreds of colonies throughout the galaxy and beyond. This often led to family members acting like they owned space itself. I’m sure you know the type,” Amanda said to the table.