Carrying Hope

by Tate, Sennah

She sniffled and bit her lip. I could almost see the war raging in her head: should she tell me or not? I didn’t know what she was debating telling me, but it was clearly something that weighed heavily on her mind.

  “The… the father doesn’t want anything to do with me,” she managed to say between sobs.

  I didn’t think it was possible, but my heart sank lower. She wasn’t over him; he was through with her. That still didn’t leave much room for me, but it was something.

  “I’m sorry, Marcie,” I tried to sound sympathetic to hide the bit of hope that was slipping back into my thoughts.

  She shook her head again, her sobs harder than ever.

  “H-h-he kicked me out of our house,” she cried, now squeezing my hand in hers.

  “What about your family?” I asked, not wanting to seem too eager to jump in and save the day.

  Another shake.

  “I don’t have a-a-any. And I…” a new wave of sobs wracked her battered body.

  I brushed a stray piece of her auburn hair behind her ear.

  “Shhh… It’s okay, Marcie,” I cooed, hoping to help her calm down.

  “No, it’s not. I lost my job today… my boyfriend dumped me, I’m homeless and now I’m p-pr-pregnant.”

  And I thought I was having a rough day.

  “What if you came to stay with me until you get back on your feet?”

  Her wide eyes met with mine, filled with disbelief.

  “I c-couldn’t…” she protested.

  “Well, why not? It doesn’t sound like you have a better option. Allow me to repay you for your good deed. Please, it will help me sleep at night.” I held my breath waiting for an answer. I couldn’t believe how anxious I was, hoping that this woman would allow me into her life.

  I could see her starting to come around as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

  “I don’t want to impose, really.”

  The thought of Marcie in my home, with her sweet innocence and her gorgeous body didn’t sound like an imposition at all.

  Of course, she had no idea who I was, either.

  “Believe me; I wouldn’t make the offer if it would be an imposition. I’ll call and have a room set up for you.”

  She looked like she wanted to protest again, but thought better of it. If her story was to be believed —and I had no reason to doubt her— then I was her best option. Pride may make her want to turn my help away, but motherly instincts would make her realize that she shouldn’t be homeless.

  I stepped out of the room, my chest full of nerves. Had I really just invited a strange woman to share my home? Not only that, but a strange pregnant woman?

  I dialed Tanner’s number; he was going to have a field day with this.

  “There you are, asshole,” he answered the phone before the first ring even finished.

  “Waiting by the phone for my call?” I teased.

  “Yeah, because some fucking idiot left me a message saying he was headed to the hospital and then dismissed my fucking calls.”

  I winced; this was more than his usual playful ribbing. Tanner was pissed.

  “Look, I’m sorry, I can explain…”

  “Explain what? Why I’ve been sitting here for hours worried out of my mind? Explain why you didn’t answer my calls? Or maybe you care to explain what you’re doing in the fucking hospital?”

  I held the phone away from my ear as he shouted another string of obscenities at me.

  “Yeah, I can explain all of that.”

  “I’m listening, dick breath,” he spat.

  I took a deep breath and launched into the entire explanation. The mugging, Marcie saving me, the trip to the hospital, the baby, everything.

  “So, I need you to make sure there isn’t anything sensitive lying around. She’s going to be staying with me for a while.”

  “ARE YOU INSANE?” he bellowed from the other end of the call.

  “You just met this woman, in the worst part of town, I might add. How do you know she’s not a junkie or a hooker or something?”

  My blood boiled at his accusations. If Tanner were standing in front of me, I likely would have decked him. I couldn’t explain the deep-seated need I had to protect Marcie’s honor. It outweighed even my loyalty to my best friend and it scared the shit out of me.

  “She’s not. Trust me. I just know.”

  “This is not what I meant when I told you to find a nice girl, Bryce.”

  I sighed, pushing my fingers through my hair in frustration.

  “I know. I didn’t exactly plan things this way, either. I just need you to do this one thing for me, okay? We’ll get everything else worked out later.”

  “This is the most reckless impulsive thing you’ve ever done. Are you sure you’re not the one that hit his head?”

  “Fuck you,” I griped, starting to doubt the wisdom of my choice. Was Tanner right? Was I being impulsive and reckless? Marcie was in that shady neighborhood, but so was I. That didn’t make me a junkie or a criminal. Surely, she had her own reasons for being there that didn’t involve some nefarious plot by my mysterious father.

  “Well, I just hope you know what you’re doing,” he warned ominously.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I mocked, hoping to lighten the tension between us.

  The call ended and I dialed another number, this time for my housekeeper: Clara.

  “Hello?” she sounded like she’d been sleeping. I felt guilty to wake her, but I knew she wouldn’t mind. After so many years in my employ, Clara was more of a second mother to me than a staff member.

  “I’m sorry to bother you so late, Clara.”

  She perked up immediately.

  “Oh, Mr. Dorian! That’s all right; what do you need?”

  I smiled, knowing that she would take care of everything.

  “I’m bringing home a guest tonight. I need you to prepare one of the guest rooms for a young woman.”

  “A young woman, Mr. Dorian?” I could hear her unspoken question: a woman that isn’t sharing your room?

  “Yes, a very special woman. Do whatever you need to make her feel at home.”

  “Of course, sir.”

  With those two things taken care of, I could return my focus to Marcie. I probably should have been concerned with how rapidly she seemed to infiltrate my thoughts, but at the moment, I only wanted to keep my eyes on her and know that she was safe.

  Chapter 9

  Bryce assured me again and again that harboring a homeless pregnant woman wouldn’t get in his way. I didn’t see how that was possible, though I learned pretty quickly that there was no arguing with him.

  He left me alone in the hospital long enough to fetch his car from the bar he’d left it at. I debated calling Kevin to tell him about the baby. On the one hand, I thought that he deserved to know about it. On the other hand, he made it pretty clear to me that he wasn’t interested in anything other than some casual sex. I didn’t think that he would feel any kind of responsibility or affection towards the baby, so I eventually decided against telling him.

  I still didn’t know what I was going to do. I couldn’t raise a baby on my own. I rested a hand on my pudgy stomach, imagining it grow large and distended with a baby. I never gave much consideration to being a mother. My own mother wasn’t very good at the job, so I didn’t have much faith that I’d be any better at it.

  I would never abandon my child, though. I would always be there. If I were truly honest with myself, I would admit that adoption was my best option. I couldn’t stand the thought of killing the little creature growing inside of me, but I also knew that I wasn’t in any kind of position to raise a child.

  Still, I had plenty of time to make this decision and I was still trying to adjust to the idea. Bryce returned before I could even fully accept my new situation. My life had changed in so many ways in the past day that my head was still reeling. I was exhausted and hungry and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed for the next thirty hours or so.

  “That was fast,” I com
mented as he walked back through the door to my room.

  He looked like he’d just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

  “Yeah… I drive fast.”

  “I’ll say,” I couldn’t help but grin at his sheepish look.

  “Well, I talked to your doctor and they agreed to release you as long as I keep an eye on you.” He pulled my backpack out of the tiny closet and tossed it in my lap.

  “I was wondering where this was!” I exclaimed, grateful to be reunited with my few remaining belongings.

  “Yeah, sorry again about messing with it,” he scuffed his toes against the tile, not looking me in the eyes for some reason.

  “That’s okay. I’m just going to go change then…” He didn’t look like he was going to leave. I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and realized that the gown did nothing to cover my ample backside.

  “Could you… um… turn around or something?”

  His face reddened again as he turned on his heel, shielding his eyes.

  I slipped into a pair of jeans and a tank top. I also took the time to fix my messy ponytail and examined my face in the mirror. One whole side of my face was covered in a nasty blue-black bruise. My left eye was swollen and red and the rest of my face was tender to the touch. I could see why the police officer was concerned for my safety; I looked like Hell.

  Well, at least I knew Bryce wasn’t trying to help me to get in my pants.

  I exited the bathroom and stuffed my feet into my shoes before announcing that I was done.

  “Okay, I’m ready,” I said timidly, hoping that he wouldn’t change his mind. I didn’t think he ever really got a good look at me before and I was terrified that he was going to turn tail and run away when he saw me in all of my non-glory.

  He turned to face me, his expression unreadable at first. Slowly, a smile grew and he reached his hand out to me.

  “Are you really really sure that you want to do this? Please don’t feel like you have to because I cried at you,” I finally voiced my worst fears. I never wanted to be a charity case. Even more, I never wanted to be someone’s obligation.

  “Marcie,” he said sternly, my name on his lips sending shivers down my spine.

  “Nothing in this world could make me happier than to give you and your child a home.” My stomach did a little flip-flop at his words. No man had ever spoken to me in that way. He sounded genuine and concerned for my well-being.

  “Temporarily, I mean,” he finished.

  “Of course,” I replied, deflated. What was I thinking? He wasn’t going to get down on one knee or anything just because I saved him from a mugging. For all I knew, he had a girlfriend… or a wife. He was just being a nice guy. There was no need to look into it further than that.

  His arm slipped around my waist and I felt myself melt into his side. He was warm and smelled like cinnamon and pine trees. I knew it was ridiculous, but I felt so safe and content with Bryce by my side.

  I signed my discharge papers and watched in disbelief as Bryce handed over his black credit card to pay my bills.

  “You don’t have to…”

  “Hush,” he commanded.

  I didn’t even want to think about how much my hospital bills cost him. I’d heard horror stories of people going bankrupt from emergency room bills. I didn’t want to be a financial burden on him.

  He made it clear to me that there would be no more discussion of the bill. He led me to a sleek black sports car and opened the door for me.

  I looked to the interior of the car and back to Bryce.

  “This is your car?” It looked like it was worth more money than I’d make in a lifetime. I was afraid to breathe on it, let alone sit in it.

  “Yes, why?”

  I slid into the leather seat, inhaling the heady scent of a well-kept car.

  “Oh, nothing,” I muttered as he closed the door.

  Maybe he was just really into cars. Maybe that’s what he spent the bulk of his money on. I wondered how he made so much money though. In my life I’d only met one kind of person with that much disposable cash: criminals. I prayed that Bryce wasn’t a criminal, but he was hanging around in that alley.

  He climbed in with a wince and the car came to life with a gentle purr and I finally had the thought to ask him the question I should have asked an hour ago.

  “Where do you live?”

  He started to pull away from the hospital and I watched the red lights of an ambulance pass us.

  “A few miles outside of the city.”

  I nodded, leaning my head against the window. The cool glass felt nice against my throbbing head. The hospital was in the center of town, so no matter which direction we needed to travel, it was going to be a long ride.

  Once we were on the freeway, Bryce opened up and started to show off what his car could do. I glanced over and watched the speedometer tick higher and higher until we were well over 100 miles per hour.

  “You weren’t kidding about driving fast, were you?” I asked, looking for a place to hold on to.

  He laughed and reduced his speed.

  “I’m sorry; I forget that it makes some people uncomfortable.”

  There weren’t any other cars out at this hour. Sun rise was still a couple hours away and bars closed a few hours ago. This was the in between lull. I knew I wasn’t in any danger from his driving.

  “I’m not. Aren’t you worried about getting a ticket, though?”

  He turned to me with the biggest grin I’d ever seen on his handsome face.

  “They’d have to catch me first.”

  I found myself smiling with him even if I didn’t completely agree with his logic. I’d employed much of the same thought process with my gambling.

  “All right. Show me what this thing can really do, then.” I raised my eyebrows at him in a challenge that he instantly accepted.

  He shifted gears and the car took off like a shot. Seventy, eighty, ninety, one hundred, our speed kept increasing until we were pushing two hundred. My hand was on his leg, my fingers digging in to his thigh. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him; the unevolved part of my brain was screaming at me that it shouldn’t be possible for us to move this quickly.

  As quickly as we’d gained speed, Bryce slowed down approaching his exit.

  “Don’t ever challenge someone if you’re not willing to deal with the consequences,” he teased, my fingers still clutching his leg in an iron grip.

  “What are you talking about?” I quipped without missing a beat, “I just didn’t want you to get scared.”

  I saw him look me over once more in the dark car and wondered what was going through his head. He seemed amused, but if he was he didn’t say anything. A few minutes later we were pulling onto a narrow dirt road. It was pitch black and I didn’t know how Bryce was able to see the curves and twists in the road. The sports car’s headlights weren’t made for practicality and they really didn’t provide enough illumination.

  I could make out faint lights at the end of the road that I assumed were windows in his house. As we came closer I realized this wasn’t just a normal house; this was a mansion. I looked at Bryce again, hoping he was there to provide an explanation, but his eyes were trained straight ahead.

  The car rolled to a stop in front of the door.

  “I asked my housekeeper to make a room ready for your arrival. If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask.”

  I nodded dumbly. Housekeeper? What had I stepped into? I got the impression that Bryce was rich, but just how rich was he? I didn’t exactly come from pedigree stock and I really hoped I wouldn’t do something stupid to offend him.

  He opened the door for me and I climbed out of the car, clutching my ratty backpack and feeling like an alien on a new planet.

  The front door opened without either of us moving and an older balding gentleman in a suit opened the door.

  “Marcie, this is Francis, my butler. He and Clara run my house. If you want to know where something is or if you
need something, you’re better off asking them than me, I’m probably useless.” He smiled at me, but I got the sinking feeling that he was trying to brush me off. His entire demeanor seemed different to the man that doted over me in the hospital. Now he was cool, aloof, and detached.

  Had I done something wrong? Maybe this was the real Bryce. We were on his home turf now, what better time to show his true colors? I decided not to press my luck. He was going out of his way to give me a place to stay and be hospitable. Who was I to insist that he be personable, too?

  A middle-aged woman in pink flannel pajamas appeared behind the butler. Her wild gray-blond hair was in a messy bun and I could see that her soft blue eyes still had bits of sleep in them behind her tortoiseshell glasses. A pair of fuzzy slippers completed her ensemble and I felt terrible that she’d gotten out of bed for me.

  “Clara, this is Marcie; Marcie, Clara,” Bryce introduced us before dismissing himself.

  Without his reassuring presence at my side, I felt exposed and vulnerable. Both of the older people greeted me with warm smiles and Clara even looked like she wanted to hug me. I didn’t know what Bryce had told them about our ordeal.

  “Come with me, sweetie, I’ll show you to your room,” Clara ushered with a yawn.

  My eyes roved back to the direction Bryce had disappeared until Clara tugged on my arm.

  “Are you hungry? Frankie, be a dear and make Marcie a snack, won’t you?” She tossed a flirty grin over her shoulder to the butler who tried his damnedest to suppress the little upturn of his lips. He nodded without a word and then he disappeared, too.

  Clara held my hand in her own and patted it gently.

  “It’s all right, love. We’ll take good care of you here,” she said as she led me up the stairs.

  “I’m sorry you had to wake up for me. It really wasn’t necessary.”

  “Nonsense! We never have guests and Mr. Dorian is never home. It will be a nice change to have something to do.” She stopped in front of one of the doors and her plump hand reached out to turn the knob.

  She led me into the room and flipped the light switch. I heard myself gasp and was suddenly overwhelmed.

  A crackling fire warmed the room, a plush rug anchored the luxurious canopy bed and glass french doors led to a balcony at the far side of the room. In all of my wildest dreams I couldn’t have imagined something so opulent.