Montana Love Letter

by Charlotte Carter

  “How am I ever going to decide where I’d like to live, even assuming there’s a house for sale that I like and can afford?”

  “You’re smart. You’ll figure it out.” He sat down beside her. “Turn around. I’ll give you a massage.”

  She groaned with pleasure as his thumbs worked at the knotted muscles of her shoulders and neck, kneading in just the right spots. This was worth even more than free rent and a part-time job combined.

  It was also something she shouldn’t get used to. Not when their arrangement was only temporary.

  Chapter Five

  As Janelle was fixing dinner, she noticed the quiet. No TV on. No giggles from Hailey’s bedroom. And when she looked out toward the dock, no sign of the girls. Thankfully, Adam’s boat was still tied to the dock, so Hailey hadn’t decided to take it out for a clandestine ride.

  Even so, her stomach twisted on a mother’s fear. Where could they have gone? Hailey had come into the house a half hour ago, got something from a cupboard and hurried back outside without even saying hello.

  She dried her hands on a paper towel. They couldn’t have gone far. She’d check first with Adam. Hailey was good about keeping her father informed of her whereabouts. She hoped.

  In the garage she found both Adam and Vern with their heads under the hood of an SUV.

  “Adam? Do you know where Hailey is?”

  He backed out from under the hood, frowning. A streak of grease marked his cheek. “No. Why? Is something wrong?”

  “I’ve just lost track of the girls. I’m sure they’re fine.” Still, Raeanne had been so clingy since her father’s death. Now Janelle felt her daughter’s absence like a part of herself had gone missing. Maybe it was Janelle who had become the clingy one.

  Adam said something to Vern and then walked over to Janelle. He didn’t look concerned. “She’s probably close by. I just saw them a minute or so ago. Let’s take a look.”

  His lack of concern didn’t assuage her feelings of unease.

  They stepped out of the garage into slanted rays of sunlight filtering through the forest treetops. Dust motes and flying insects floated through the columns of light. The warm air held the scent of pine trees and summer-dry grass.

  “You checked down by the dock?” he asked.

  “I didn’t see them there, and the boat was still tied up at the dock. Would Hailey walk to a friend’s house or as far away as the park?” Hailey might be old enough to be on her own in familiar territory, but Raeanne could get lost. Or be picked up by a stranger.

  Butterfly wings of panic fluttered in Janelle’s chest. Don’t buy trouble!

  “She’d tell me if she was going that far.” He stood still, listening. So did Janelle.

  As though carried on the breeze caressing the treetops, Janelle heard Hailey’s distinctive giggle.

  “They’re that way.” Adam pointed through the woods and headed in that direction.

  Between pine trees, firs and an occasional rock outcropping, it was impossible to walk a straight line for more than a few feet. Pine needles and downed branches covered the forest floor. In sunny spots, late-blooming wildflowers peeked up through cracks between rocks or in tiny meadows. Janelle made a mental note to pick some flowers to dry one day soon.

  They found the girls sitting in a natural circle of rocks. Adam held out his hand to stop Janelle from racing over to them.

  With a twinkle in his eyes, he put his finger to his lips. “Let’s watch a minute.”

  Puzzled, Janelle kept her eye on Raeanne. Suddenly, a small creature jumped in the air after a slender twig Rae had twirled above it. A squirrel? They could carry diseases. Rae shouldn’t be—

  Before she completed the thought, she realized she had been wrong.

  “A kitten,” she whispered, relieved but puzzled where the girls had found it.

  “Looks like. Sometimes people dump unwanted cats in the woods around here thinking they’ll learn how to forage for themselves. Most times, before they figure it out, a fox or a wolf will get them.”

  Janelle cringed. “How cruel.”

  “Not from the fox’s or wolf’s perspective. It’s the humans who are the cruel ones. They ought to know better.”

  “I agree.”

  Adam strolled up to the girls. “Hey, it looks like you found a baby mountain lion.”

  Both girls whirled, eyes wide and mouths open.

  “He’s just teasing you, girls.” Janelle knelt beside Raeanne. The short-haired kitten with black, white and

  orange calico markings looked to be no more than seven or eight weeks old, barely weaned. She petted its little head. “Where did you find her?”

  Hailey looked up at her father. “She was playing too close to the highway. I was afraid she’d get run over.”

  Adam hunkered down next to Hailey. “And you thought she might be hungry, which is why you snitched a can of tuna from the cupboard without telling anyone what you were doing.” His gaze fell on the tin can in the middle of the rock circle.

  Hailey’s blue eyes pleaded with him for understanding. “She’s awful skinny.”

  “Yeah, I can see that.” He gave Hailey’s ear a gentle tweak. “So what are you going to do with her?”

  “I thought maybe...” She glanced at Raeanne. “I thought Raeanne would like to keep her.”

  Janelle choked on a laugh. The child had cleverly decided her father wouldn’t deny Raeanne a kitten even if he might have told his daughter no.

  Raeanne tugged on Janelle’s shirtsleeve and turned her big brown, serious eyes on her.

  “You want to keep the kitty?”

  Raeanne nodded vigorously.

  “Are you two sure the kitten doesn’t belong to someone who lives around here?”

  Both girls nodded their heads. “We’re sure,” Hailey said.

  “Well, then...” She checked with Adam, who shrugged, indicating it was her choice. “There are lots of animals around here who could hurt the kitty, so she’ll have to be an indoor cat.”

  Smiles bloomed on both young faces.

  “Raeanne, you know if it’s your cat, you’ll have to take care of her.” Rae appeared not only agreeable but tickled at the prospect.

  Janelle tried to think of an argument why having a kitten wouldn’t be a good idea and failed to find one. Having a live animal to love and care for would give Rae some responsibility. Hopefully a pet would help her to feel “normal.”

  She cupped Raeanne’s cheek and smiled. “So what are you going to name your cat?”

  In a soft but very clear voice, Rae said, “Kitty Cat.”

  Pressing her lips together to halt the tears that threatened, Janelle said, “I think Kitty Cat is a perfect name.”

  Even more precious was the rare sound of her daughter’s voice.

  * * *

  It was decided Kitty Cat would stay in the cottage at night, which seemed to suit her just fine. She quickly claimed the middle of the bed between Janelle’s and Rae’s feet as her special spot. In the daytime she’d have the run of the main house and likely the undivided attention of two little girls.

  An early trip to the local veterinarian the next morning proved the kitten was healthy. A stop at the general store provided the necessities, including kitty kibble, a feeding dish and a litter box. The girls added two little balls that jiggled when they rolled across the floor and a mechanical mouse for Kitty Cat’s playtime toys.

  When Adam came in for dinner that evening, he plucked a handful of red grapes from the bowl Janelle had set on the kitchen counter.

  “I’ve got my Rotary meeting tomorrow at lunchtime.” He popped a grape into his mouth. “I usually take Hailey to Mrs. Murphy’s house—”

  “Oh, Daddy, I don’t want to go to Mrs. Murphy’s,” Hailey complained f
rom the living room, where she and Raeanne were watching TV and playing with the kitten. “There’s nothing to do there.”

  “Or,” he emphasized, “she visits a friend’s house for a couple of hours.”

  “Why can’t I stay here with Rae and her mom?”

  “Because Janelle has other things to do besides babysit you?”

  Janelle wiped her hands on a tea towel. “It’s all right. I can skip a day of house hunting. Maybe we girls can do something together.” She had to think for a moment just what that would be. Bear Lake didn’t exactly have a lot of attractions like museums or amusement parks for kids to enjoy.

  “Is there a library in town?” Janelle liked to have a variety of books to read to Raeanne. By now she’d pretty well memorized all the books they had brought from Seattle.

  Adam’s eyes flared for a moment, a quick flash of surprise. Or panic? Janelle couldn’t be sure which or why the mention of the library would get such a strange reaction from him.

  “Yeah, we’ve got a library. It’s not very big, but you can order any books you want from the main county library.”

  “Well, then, we can spend some time at the library and maybe have a picnic lunch somewhere.”

  Adam checked with his daughter. “You okay with that, Peanut?”

  “Sure.” She wrinkled her nose. “It’s better than Mrs. Murphy’s.”

  Janelle smiled at Hailey, who sometimes acted like a ten-year-old going on sixteen. Adam was sure to run into some rocky moments when his daughter became a teenager, but with patience—and a lot of prayers—the two of them ought to get along fine.

  Twisting the tea towel into a knot, she glanced away from the two girls. Both of them were minus a parent, a parent who could temper their partner’s over-the-top reactions to adolescent behavior or bolster discipline when needed. Parenting a teenager alone, she was sure, would be a tightrope act with no safety net.

  A demanding feat both she and Adam would face all too soon and on their own.

  Glancing away from the girls, Janelle sternly reminded herself that even if Raymond had lived she still would have carried most of the burden of raising Raeanne.

  * * *

  The upstairs banquet room of Sandy’s Lakeside Restaurant, as the billboard at the edge of town announced, served as the weekly meeting place for the Bear Lake Rotary.

  Adam took the stairs two at a time. He’d been delayed at the garage by a customer who knew nothing about transmissions, including why his car no longer went in Reverse.

  When the customer finally left, he’d hurriedly changed into good jeans and a sport shirt. Now he had to rush not to be late to the meeting or it would cost him a buck plus a serious razzing from his Rotary buddies.

  “You just made it under the wire.” Charlie Brooks, the banjo player from their country-western group, greeted him at the door. A tall, wiry guy, he owned the local Laundromat and did beautiful cabinetry work. “Maybe since you cut this so close, you’d like to make a contribution to our health-and-welfare fund.” He held out a bright red bucket and rattled the change inside.

  “No thanks. I’m saving up till our honorable president hits me with a really big fine for forgetting my badge.” He touched the badge clipped to his shirt pocket just to make sure it hadn’t fallen off.

  Joshua Higgins, said honorable president, banged his gavel on the rostrum. “We’ll come to order now. Clarence, quit telling Max your fish stories and get over here and lead the flag salute.”

  The group of about thirty members laughed. With a maximum of fussing and shoulder bumping, they quieted down for the flag salute, followed by Pastor

  Walker’s invocation.

  Adam sat next to Charlie. The salads and bread baskets were already on the table. The guys, plus two female members, started eating while Joshua asked for announcements.

  Brad Steely confessed that his daughter was getting married, which brought cheers and cost him five bucks that he dropped in the bucket. Owen Marcus was coerced into revealing he’d caught a five-pound lake trout; he paid two dollars a pound into the health-and-welfare fund.

  Adam had known most of these men the better part of his life. Bear Lake and the environs was a pretty tight-knit community, and the locals tended to help each other when there was a need. He counted them all as his friends.

  Despite the fact that the restaurant specialized in steaks and fish, a waitress delivered this week’s chicken covered with mystery sauce over rice and vegetables on the side. Today it smelled of curry.

  Not particular about what he ate, Adam sliced off a bite of chicken. While it wasn’t his idea of gourmet, it would do for lunch. Though he had to admit he’d come to prefer the spices Janelle added to even a simple dish like baked chicken.

  When most of the members had finished their main course, Joshua stood again. “We’ve got two things coming up, folks. First up is the Labor Day pancake breakfast to benefit the volunteer fire department. How many cooks have we got?”

  Adam, among several others, raised his hand, and the breakfast committee chairman wrote down their names.

  “We’re fast coming up on elections,” Joshua continued. “I want a full slate of officers, so you can expect to be arm-twisted one way or another.”

  Everyone groaned, and Charlie nudged Adam with his elbow. “You know, you’d make a great president. Everybody likes you. You’ve been in the club a long time. You ought to think about running.”

  Panic, like a freight train, roared through Adam’s head. His fork nearly slipped from his fingers and beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

  “Nah, not me.” His throat felt as if someone had tightened a wrench around it. “I don’t have time for all that busywork and stuff Joshua has to do.”

  Charlie gave him a disappointed look. “Man, you’ve got as much time as anybody else in this outfit. Besides, we need some younger guys to take over instead of all these gray heads.”

  Adam could barely draw a breath. The chicken and curry threatened to rebel in his stomach. His eyes darted side to side in search of an exit. A quick escape. A place to hide. A way to keep his secret.

  “You’re so smart, why don’t you volunteer to be president? That Laundromat of yours takes care of itself. All you do is collect the quarters and take ’em to the bank. You got lots of time on your hands.”

  “Ha! If you had four kids to raise on your own, you wouldn’t say that.” Charlie shook his head. “You’re just chicken to stand up there without a guitar in your hands.”

  The problem was more than mike fright. It was all those other things a president had to do—read announcements, write letters to other clubs, make reports to the national Rotary. No way could Adam do any of that.

  No way did he want the entire Rotary Club membership to discover he couldn’t.

  Business finished and a chocolate pudding was served for dessert. The president moved on to the day’s speaker, a well-known fishing and hunting guide in the area. Adam barely heard a word the man said. And when he was finished with his talk, Adam was the first one out the door.

  Nobody was going to arm-twist him into doing something that would reveal his shame.

  * * *

  After visiting the library and picking out books, Janelle found a quiet meadow off of a gravel road where she and the girls could have their picnic.

  In a shady spot, she spread an old blanket on the ground, one she always kept in her trunk for impromptu picnics or emergencies. Hailey carried Adam’s ice chest that Janelle had filled with sandwiches, chips, soft drinks and cookies from the bakery in town.

  Janelle sat down, bending her legs sideways. “This is nice, isn’t it?” At midday, the meadow was quiet with only a slight breeze whispering through the tops of the pine trees that surrounded the clearing.

  Hailey plopped herself down on the blanket. “I r
emember when I was little my mom and dad used to take me on picnics. Sometimes we’d hike to a lake and Dad would fish from the shore.” Her wistful tone clearly indicated she missed her mother and the days they’d shared as a family.

  “Did your mother like to fish, too?” Janelle handed each of the girls a sandwich.

  “Not very much. But she liked being outdoors, I think.”

  “Probably very much liked spending a few hours with you and your dad.”

  “I guess.” With a decided lack of enthusiasm and a great deal of nostalgia, Hailey took a bite of her sandwich. “Dad says she’s up in heaven watching over us. Do you think that’s true?”

  Scooting closer to the child, Janelle put her arm around Hailey. “Absolutely. I know your mother loved you very much and would have done everything in her power to stay here on earth with you. But for some reason we can’t understand, God called her to heaven to be with Him. But that hasn’t stopped her from loving you. She’s still right here in your heart.”

  Her chest aching for Hailey’s grief, Janelle placed her hand over Hailey’s heart. “She’ll always be there with you.”

  Rae slid over to sit on the other side of Hailey and put her arm around her new friend. She rested her head on Hailey’s shoulder.

  Rae’s gesture of caring and love brought tears to Janelle’s eyes. Despite her young age and the trauma of her own loss, Rae’s obvious empathy brought a surge of warmth and pride to Janelle. Her heart swelled with love for both of the girls.

  Hailey tipped her head to meet Rae’s. “I used to ask my mom if she could get me a little sister.” Her voice had dropped to a tiny whisper. “I think she wanted to try, but then she got too sick.”

  Hailey’s lower lipped trembled and so did Janelle’s. It was all she could do not to cry. Lord, please help this lonely child.

  Wanting to lighten the mood, she cleared her throat of the emotion of the moment as best she could.

  “Tell you what, girls.” She added a dose of enthusiasm to her words. “When we finish lunch, why don’t we gather some pinecones and see if we can find some pretty wildflowers? When we get home, we can dry the flowers and make a wreath of them.”